Hate Work?

sprinkles · 05-11-2004 3:58pm #1

I know this should prob be in humour but this is generally the place where people come to give out about Tuesdays and work and not being able to drink during the day etc.. so I though I'd bring it straight here instead (apologies to the mod if you have to move it.)

I thought this was a great story to tell the grandkids:

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Mayo. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an email
he sent to his sister. She then sent it to RnaG in Galway, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so thought I would
share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after
all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.

It's a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial water heater. This 20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water
out of the sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this
sounds like a darnn good plan, and I've used it several times with no
complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water.

It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from
my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it. However, the crack of my @rse was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my arse.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.

His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the
medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube
of cream and told me to rub it on my arse as soon as I got in the
chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my
hole was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your backside.

Now repeat to yourself,

"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Anyone else have a day that bad?