Poems....

climaxer

Ok how about we make up stupid poems - can use nursery rhymes but change the words or make up a random one....

The Rose
See How it Grows
See How it bows its head
The f*cking thing is dead.

Jaysus crist almity
The cat ran up me nighty
It bit me t*t and I said sh*t
Jaysus crist almity!

Jack put Jill on the pill
So he could f*ck her senseless
Jill wore Jack out without a doubt
And now she's shagging his best mate

sanncoo

Mary had a little lamb
She beat it now it's dead
Mary's on her way to school
With the lamb between 2 bread!

banquo

here's a song i sing,
war's a horrid thing,
but still i sing and sing,
ding-a-ling-a-ling.



[blackadder]

amp

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Jim

Bad poerty pam.

Its supposed to be
x
y
z

Bah, kids.

sanncoo

Mary had a little lamb,
She tied him to the heater.
Every time he'd lift his leg,
He'd burn his little peter.

Mary had a little lamb,
Little lamb, little lamb,
Mary had a little lamb,
So she is suing the test tube lab.

Mary had a little sheep.
It went to bed with her to sleep.
The sheep turned out to be a ram,
And Mary had a little lamb!

Mary had a little lamb,
She thought it was quite silly.
She threw it up into the air,
And caught it by its ...
Willy was a watch dog,
Lying on the grass.
Down came a bumble bee,
And bit him on the ...
Asssssk no questions,
Tell no lies,
I saw a policeman,
Doing up his ...
Flies are bad,
Mosquitos are worse,
And this is the end of my silly little verse.

Mary had a little lamb,
A pizza and some prunes,
A piece of pie, a glass of milk, and then some maccaroons.
It made the waiters happy to see her order so
And when they carried Mary out,
her face was white as snow!

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow.
And every where that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go.
Now Mary found the price of meat too high,
Which really didn't please her.
Tonight she is having the leg of lamb,
The rest is in the freezer.

Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
And turned its wool to nylon.

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was black as charcoal
Every time it jumped the fence
You could see its little arsehole.

Mary had a little lamb,
The doctors were astounded.
Everywhere that Mary went,
Gynecologists surrounded.

Mary had a little lamb,
The doctor was suprised.
When Old McDonald had a farm,
The poor guy nearly died.

Mary had a little lamb
A little roast, a little jam
An ice-cream soda topped with fizz
Boy, how sick our Mary is.

Mary had a li'l lamb
Its wool was soft and pink
A big bad wolf came by one day
Now Mary has a mink!

Mary had a little watch,
She swallowed it one day.
And so she took some caster oil
To pass the time away.
The oil didn't work.
The time just wouldn"t pass.
If you want to know what time it is,
Just look up Mary's ass!

:eek:

amp

Jimeatsmenu wrote:

Bad poerty pam.

Its supposed to be
x
y
z

Bah, kids.

IT'S ART MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT!?

Nuttzz

roses are red
violets are flowers
i can keep going
for hours and hours

Raphael

Roses are red,
Violets are Blue
Some Poems rhyme
But this one doesn't

Jim

pam wrote:

IT'S ART MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT!?

I'll make sure to throw my feasis at you.

simu

Ich liebe Kunst
Ich liebe Kunst
Ich liebe Kunst
Kunst ist viel besser als Kirsten Dunst.

Ich habe Durst
Ich habe Durst
Ich habe Durst
Durst ist egal wie Fred Durst.

Bin ich eine Dichterin?
Bin ich eine Dichterin?
Bin ich eine Dichterin?
Ich habe keine Lust zu vernichten.

sanncoo

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty dumpty had a great fall
Cos he was pushed!!!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Decided they were better off without him!

Old mother hubbard went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone
When she bent over, Rover took over
And Old mother hubbard was done!!!!

sanncoo

Sing a song of sixpence
Pocket full of rye
This stupid little willy thing
Just spat me in the eye!!!!

billy the squid

old mother hubbard
went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor doggy a bone
when she bent over
up jumped rover
and gave her a bone of his own

mary had a little lame, she thought it very silly, the threw it up into the air and caught it by the willy was a watchdog, lying in the grass, along came a bee and stung him in the Aspros aspros are good for colds, if you don't like them stick them up your hold on lady, the bus is going fast. If you dont hold on, you'll fall on your ask no questions, tell no lies, did you ever see a police man pulling up his flies are dangerous bees are worse, that is the end of my Chinamans curse.

Oryx

there was an old man from kilcosham
who took out his balls to wash em
his wife said jack, if you dont put em back
ill step on the fcukers and squash em!

The Muppet

Pam the old slapper of Beers
Claimed Merc to a deul armed with Spears
She smoked too much grass
Got Jabbed in the ass
Nine months and it'll be the nappies for years