Friday Funnies

Hagar

On a business trip in Mexico, three men get drunk and wake up in jail to learn they will be executed, although none of them can recall what they did to deserve it.
The first man put in the electric chair is asked for his last words. "I'm from Yale Divinity School, and believe in the power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent."
The switch is thrown, but nothing happens. The jailers figure God wants the man alive and they let him go.
The second man is strapped in. "I'm from Harvard Law School, and believe in the power of justice to intervene on behalf of the innocent."
The switch is thrown; again, nothing. The jailers think the law is on this man's side, so they let him go.
The last man says, "Well, I'm an electrical engineer from MIT, and you're not electrocuting anybody if you don't connect those two loose wires down there."

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for nine Jagermeisters.
The bartender is intrigued asks why such a strange number.
Man: "I'm celebrating my first blow job."
Bartender: "Oh, in that case I'll give you one on the house. Have ten."
Man: "No thanks, if nine don’t get rid of the taste, ten won’t be any better.”

aidan_walsh

I couldn't help but snicker at the first one...