Lads, your best and worst chat up lines!!!!

Roar

Trigger! wrote:

How about

"If i told you you had a beautifull body would ya hold it against me?"

Or, the Zapp Brannigan version

"if i said you had a beautiful body would you take off your pants and dance around a little?"

Heh heh

Wacker

I love this one, but I'd never use it, because you'd get a slap!

"I must say, that top looks most becoming on you. But if it were me on you, I'd be coming too!"

BolBill

bravestarr082 wrote:

The two main "chat-up line" times of a night i notice are;

1.Start of the night when choice is plentyful, you can afford to chance your arm.

2.When you know its the last song of the night, desperation sinks in and so theres nothing for it but to go for it!

Ok so Bravestarr, can I buy you a drink?

SprostonGreen

I've heard of a gay chat up along the lines of "can I push in your stool?"

Spalk0

Hehe how about this one!

"Hi.....My name is (name)....remember that, you'll be screaming it later!"

BolBill

Or "Hey that's a nice dress, it'll look strewn across my bedroom floor in the morning......."

SoupyNorman

BolBill wrote:

Ok so Bravestarr, can I buy you a drink?

My stomach would approve but my penis would'nt........! :cool:

logic1

azezil wrote:

"hi i'm azezil, prepare you bouls for iminate release!" *pelvic thrust*

Obviously makes use of the old "confuse them so much with horrific grammatical mistakes they won't even know we've shagged" technique.

.logic.

BolBill

bravestarr082 wrote:

My stomach would approve but my penis would'nt........! :cool:

Theres me thinking you were of the fairer sex bravestarr, what a mistake to make. Good answer though, mmmmm beer, another mans penis though, eh, no ta !!!

sprinkles

Have you ever heard of the 10 tonne Polar Bear?

That broke the ice, didn't it?



I'll get my coat then............

honeymonster

Hello, i'm Stephen..................

mayordenis

your hot, im hot, why not??

only works if both parties are hot
and they dont have a reason as to why not.

elivsvonchiaing

azezil wrote:

"hi i'm azezil, prepare you bouls for iminate release!" *pelvic thrust*

How about- does this smell like amyl nitrite?

namaimo

Ive got this one!

"Hi my name's celibate but im willing to change it for you..."

Tiriel

I can't believe you've all forgotten the most commonly used chat-up line...

"do you come here often?"
well it is isn't it!!

My friends got married last year and the chat-up line he used was the one Billy the Squid mentioned earlier.. "do you want to be buried with my people"..

so there you go.. it works

Healio

"my dog died today, will you be my new bitch?"

Spalk0

How about some of these!

"Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?"

"Bring your crash helmet luv, you're going through the head board tonight."

" Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?"

hehehe

bringitdown

Borrowed from Ali-G but In a thick country accent:

"I may be a honkey but I'm hung like a donkey"

A friend often used:
"What do the teletubbies say?"
- reply - "Eh oh"
"Grand so!" - procedes to snog girl.
Got away with it countless times....

elivsvonchiaing

Scenario: first date is a disaster for whatever reason... but at least you walked her home...

You have the impression that she won't say no - just fob you off with excuses for next date...

"Y'know there a couple of things you should know about me, before you decide not to meet me on Friday. 1) I have a violin that I just can't play. 2) I can't sing a note. 3) I know where you live!"

Farls

"You'll Do"

Victor

themaverick wrote:

I can smell your ****. Always works a charm

Unfortunately after a nights drinking, this is all too true with too many women.

Sarky

"Hey, baby, I have 18 in Dex and Charisma."

Only to be tried at gaming conventions, really.

Shrimp

Roar wrote:

My one would be to go up to a girl with your phone out,say "can you help me? there's a problem with my phone"

she says "what is it"

and you say "it doesn't have your phone number in it"

giggity giggity

I'm quoting you because... you used Giggity Giggity.... Quagmire!! WHAT A BEAST!!!!

corblimey

Never tried, but see no earthly reason why it wouldn't work:

What's got 2 thumbs, speaks French and likes bl*w-jobs?
The use your thumbs to point to yourself and say 'Moi'.

courtesy of Sid la Sexist.

Piste

Already posted thison the Nest but one more time wont harm


'Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?'

mad m

Gummybearz!!! wrote:

Already posted thison the Nest but one more time wont harm


'Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?'

hehe class Gummybearz....

The General

Ive a good one,
'**** me if im wrong, but is your name Yolanda'

Sarky

I have a friend called Yolande...

ando

sprinkles wrote:

Have you ever heard of the 10 tonne Polar Bear?

That broke the ice, didn't it?

*ando in nightclub see's a lovely looking girl and walks over to her deciding on the way over to use sprinkles advice*



ando - 'have ya ever heard of the 10 tonne polar bear?'

girl - 'the wha?'

ando - 'the 10 tonne polar bear'

girl - 'ya did wha?'

ando - 'that broke the ice, didnt it?............ get it...... get it?? ... '

girl - silence................................. 'oh yea.... ya freak'

The girl turns her head and quickly walks away


ya nice 1 sprinkles

Philbert

Cork_girl wrote:

I can't believe you've all forgotten the most commonly used chat-up line...

"do you come here often?"
well it is isn't it!!

And the most annoying thing is is that I use it in conversation a lot. And I am genuinely interested whether or not the person frequents the establishment. :rolleyes:
I feel like such a dick when I say it too because of the way its considered such a cheesy chat up line!

Idbatterim

You must be a parking ticket, because youve got fine written all over!

annette curtain

(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)
Let's get you out of those wet clothes.

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on
earth tonight.

I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and
even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

(Look down at your crotch) Well, it's not just going to
suck itself.

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

You, Me, Whipped cream and Handcuffs. Any questions?


Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk
to you.

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have
you been drinking?

so girls do you thin any of my lines would work with you???? lads try em they honestly work no joking[/QUOTE]
mayb im just a sucker*(lads behave)beating them off with a stick** but these would prob work with the right amount of alcohol!!!!!dont forget the alcohol!!