It Suceeds

edibility

It Succeeds



It lingers,
the smell,
awaking memories of mud
and dew
and freshness tainted
by the day before.
It speaks
of damp,
sweet white mould,
the soft decay
of fresh cut grass
in a shallow ditch.

Within it,
flesh, skin
rises, the cloying
bitterness of liquid
below a womens breasts,
evident.
Too, it
has a perverted nature,
as it liquefies, echoing
the sweetest deed-
resulting in the urge
to lick it off.

It breeds
familiarity-
stale and unpleasant,
at first, growing
feeding upon, adjusting
until it is expected.
It trys
to take me over,
holding my senses, its
heady moisture finding
something
words cannot.

---

I'm not sure whats missing from this, but there is something....any ideas?

parker larkin

It's missing a subject matter, perhaps instead of using the title 'it succeeds'
replace 'it' with what you are really talking about?

shiv

I agree with Parker, and would lose the first paragraph

edibility

Why the first paragrpah, out of curiousity?
And yeah, I see where you're coming from....shall have a think about that.

Shad0r

I enjoyed it but have no idea what it is about. That said I sacrificed a ridiculous amount of brain cells over the weekend so I'll have to come back and have a proper read when I'm once again smart.