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old un, good un

  • 26-11-2004 4:55pm
    #1
    uberwolf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,580 ✭✭✭


    The following is an actual question given on a University of
    Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so
    "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
    Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
    enjoying it as well.

    Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
    (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
    variant.
    One student, however, wrote the following:
    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
    need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
    at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
    a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
    leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
    different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
    religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you
    will go to Hell.
    Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do
    not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go
    to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
    number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
    rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that
    in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same,
    the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
    enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
    until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
    Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
    over.

    So which is it?
    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
    year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you",
    and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
    number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
    has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since
    Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more
    souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven thereby proving
    the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa
    kept shouting "Oh my God."

    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"


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