Really Need Advice

LegacyUser

ok, as u may have noticed, there are a lot of threads bout ppl considering breaking up, going on breaks or stayin together. well, i chose the break up option. this a good while ago now though!

my problem is that my ex is now moving to the UK in a month forever. the reason this is a problem is because she is the love of my life! Thats stupid u may say, especially coz i ended the relationship, and i would agree with you, i am an IDIOT! i broke up with her coz i wanted to experience the world and other women and im too young to settle down blah blah blah!

I love this girl. i cant stop thinking about how i want her. Not sexually, but her soul, as such! i dont just wanna f**k her, in fact, i havent even been thinkin that way. i want her personality, company, soul, just HER!

Like i said, shes moving to the UK, and i'm considering my options. I'm almost positive she's over me. also, that she doesnt wanna get back together at the moment (as do i, im still on that f**king "experience other women trip"), but the future is still uncertain on both our parts.

Lets recap, love of my life who i dumped moving to UK in a month. No chance of getting back together in near future (ill hazard a guess of a year at least). Still good friends. Live close by. I always figured i'd marry her. I now regret dumpin her, wishing now we went on a break. we were each others first loves.

Do I ask to have a one on one night before she goes so i can air my feelings?
I still keep in touch with all friends and exes coz im just the sort of person that cannot let any part of my past die ie friendships, exes, even baby clothes, but shes used to moving and has no friends from her childhood, so it seems she's better off than me with the whole moving away forever, even though we're still good friends! so i say again,

Should I ask to have a one-on-one night before she goes so we can air our feelings?

thanks for your help. im pure gutted!

BoozyBabe

The saying "you can't have your cake & eat it" springs to mind.

You want her to hang around so you don't feel lonely, but you want to shag other people??????

If you love her as much as you say, let her go, she deserves better (from what you've said)

rambler

Move on Man, some things in life you need to let go off, maybe you should look at your own life, move off to someplace new, experience some of the world. You are cut up, well they say the first cut is the deepest. Move on if in that year she is still single and you are feeling same way then have that chat then you both know what both really want.

Zulu

Yup - you want to eat your cake and have it.


...Good luck with that.





I guess if you really did love her, you wouldn't want leave her to be with other people. ...but what do I know.

Khannie

Zulu wrote:

I guess if you really did love her, you wouldn't want leave her to be with other people. ...but what do I know.

Agreed. If you really felt that way about her, the thought of her being with someone else should probably have been enough to put you off breaking up with her. Are you looking back at things through rose tinted glasses now?

LegacyUser

I was actually thinkin bout the rose tinted glasses thing, i wasnt happy when we were together for the sole reason that i felt i was missin out. i know I'll feel like that again, not just wit her, but wit any girl, hence why i dont wanna get into a relationship for the next while! I know we wont get back together in the short term. if we were never together, i would still miss her immensely when she goes coz i do like her! its also possible that the only reason i wanna get back together is to stop other fellas from gettin her! i havent been able to think straight bout this for a while! we were apart from april til september and i was relatively fine. i started to miss her immensely near the end of the summer. i was txtin her last night bout it. i dunno wat to think. maybe i just need to find another girl. as of yet, i havent met a single female who was anyway near her. maybe once i just find this new girl, ill be fine. but at the moment i dunno!

so like i sed in the OP, from experience, has anyone dealt wit the whole "one-on-one private talk before she goes" thing?

audge

EX#34646 wrote:

Should I ask to have a one-on-one night before she goes so we can air our feelings?!

NO!

Zulu

EX#34646 wrote:

so like i sed in the OP, from experience, has anyone dealt wit the whole "one-on-one private talk before she goes" thing?

How old are you?
I've had "the talk" before, but I've a feeling we were in a different place to you.

meditraitor

Just leave it be, leave the girl alone and dont be playing with her head (again), she obviously is not the love of you life- just a girl who you clicked with and who's company you miss,

Nala

You broke up with her because you wanted to be with other people.
The exact same reason my ex gave me.
And to be honest, if he was to turn around and tell me he wanted to get back with me, I'd laugh in his face.
This girl deserves better. You just want to have everything your way.
I'm sorry but she might not want to be second best, knowing she's only hanging around until you have another bout of wanting other women.

dundalk cailin

Nala wrote:

You broke up with her because you wanted to be with other people.
The exact same reason my ex gave me.
And to be honest, if he was to turn around and tell me he wanted to get back with me, I'd laugh in his face.
This girl deserves better. You just want to have everything your way.
I'm sorry but she might not want to be second best, knowing she's only hanging around until you have another bout of wanting other women.

^^ good advice

Sarah**

I just got this as an email another silly chain thing but i think many ppl can identify with a few things! Im having some love life troubles too and i stood back nd now know what im doin....

What Actually Love Is


Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry?
When we imagine? When we kiss?
This is because the most beautiful things in
the world are unseen.

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird
and when we find someone whose weirdness
is compatible with ours,
we join up with them and fall in
mutual weirdness and call it love.

There are things that we never want to let go of,
people we never want to leave behind,
but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the
world,
it's the beginning of a new life.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt,
those who have searched and those who have tried.
For only they can appreciate the importance of the
people
who have touched their lives.

A great love? It's when you shed tears and still
you care for him,
it's when he ignores you and still you long for him.
It's when he begins to love another and yet you still
smile
and say I'm happy for you.

If love fails, set yourself free,
let your heart spread its wings and fly again.
Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love
dies,
you never have to die with it.

The strongest people are not those who always win
but those who stand back up when they fall.

Somehow along the course of life,
you learn about yourself and realize
there should never be regrets,
only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've
made.

A true friend understands when you say, I forgot,
waits forever when you say, just a minute,
stays when you say leave me alone,
opens the door even before you knock and says can I
come in?

Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive,
not how you listen but how you understand,
not what you see but how you feel,
and not how you let go but how you hold on.

It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than
outwardly.
Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears
scar forever.

In love, very rarely do we win
but when love is true, even if you lose,
you still win just for having the tingle of loving
someone
more than you love yourself.

There comes a time when we have to stop loving someone
not because that person has stopped loving us
but because we have found out
that they'd be happier if we let go.

It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for
one that's available.
Best to wait for the one you love than one who is
around.
Best to wait for the right one
because life is too short to waste on just someone.

Sometimes the one you love turns out to be the one who
hurts you the most,
and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms
and cries when you cry
turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted.

If you really love someone never let go,
don't believe that letting go means that you love
best,
instead fight for your love,
that's what true love is.

Laugh to your heart's content; you cannot go
through life without it.

Jivin Turkey

Be with other women until you sort out exactly what you want.

She is going to the UK, not Mars.

But if the times comes that you decide you want to settle down with her again, prepare yourself for the possibility of rejection.

athena 2000

EX#34646 wrote:

its also possible that the only reason i wanna get back together is to stop other fellas from gettin her!

Ah! The old "dog in the manger" syndrome...
You know, you should move on. You were apart for about 5 months and did fine without her. Now you'll be many miles apart and do just as well.
You don't need a one to one talk, you need to go cold turkey and put your mind on other things. Somewhere there's a quotation that says, "Protect me from what I want". That's your fortune cookie for today.