Anxious about intimate act

LegacyUser

Is it normal for a girl to be nervous / worried / uncomfortable about a guy going down on her?

I loved my ex going down on me & he always said he loved doing it but at the same time I never actually 'wanted' him to go down until he was already there & hadn't complained.

A previous ex hadn't liked doing it so maybe that's why I'm put off.
My hygiene etc is V good but I'm always afraid I'll see the guy squirm or something & I couldn't handle it. (Don't know if I'm expecting him to retch or what but I'm always so paranoid & it takes me a long time (each time!!!!) to get comfortable with it before I begin to enjoy it)

Is this normal? I'm in a new relationship now & I don't feel I could let my new bf try for the same reasons, yet I have no problem doing same for him???

Are there many guys who generally don't like doing this? Am I being silly or is my feelings normal?

Beruthiel

isitjustme? wrote:

Are there many guys who generally don't like doing this?

ppffff, if there are, I wouldn't want to know them

Am I being silly or is my feelings normal?

probably normal enough from what I hear, but that doesn't make it ok, I'd say you're being silly, learn to relax and enjoy!

parker larkin

I concur, relax and enjoy

jcoote

i feckin love doin it and if its clean no guy is gonna wrecth unless u fart or something simple as...enjoy it its one of the few sexual acts thats just for u where his only pleasure is seein u in pleasure...just try to relax and have fun!!!

Faith

It's normal!

Sleepy

Nearly every guy I know loves going down on women so yes your feelings are a bit silly. They're not unusual though, a lot of girls feel the same way as you do. Just try not to think so much when you're in bed with someone, just go with the flow and enjoy yourself

daRobot

If the girl has it trimmed down nicely and is clean, I cant think of a nicer place to be:D

LegacyUser

Thanks guys,

That's nice to know.

I know what you're saying & I wish I could just 'go with the flow', but I think it's easier said than done.
I mean the last relatioship was a V long term one & I still couldn't just relax & enjoy at the beginning of each one.

I know this time it'd be V easy for me to just say no to the new guy (especially if he wasn't real persistant) (I WOULD do that out of fear etc)
But I also know how nice it is & what I'd be missing so I really don't want to stop him.
It's about the only hang up I have & I need to cop on & get over it, just not sure if I have the balls (well literally I don't ) to do so.

Jesper

If its going, take it. I've know a lot of girls who aren't really comfortable allowing it be done but as time goes on they get more comfortable. For me its not something I'd look forward to doing but fair is fair. Its great though when the girl is contorting in pleasure and moaning her delight makes it all worth while and makes me soo horney she is going to be satisified in many other ways afterwards. Just a word to the wise when/if you do climax be carefull when u jump with joy because many a nose was nearly broken from that move (",)

Tails

Its the same as every thing else in life, if you dont enjoy it then dont!
I dont understand this crap that you HAVE to enjoy it, its own decision after all.

LegacyUser

Oral pleasure is not something that everyone enjoys. If it makes you more uncomfortable than pleasured then maybe it's just not for you.. but if it is just initially that you are anxious, and begin to relax as it happens, then maybe you shouldn't give up on it altogether.. get to know your new boyfriend.. figure out your mutual likes and dislikes.. and enjoy experimenting.

In general.. you really have nothing to be worried about, I'm sure many girls feel like this.. though there is no reason why you should feel uncomfortable unless you know that your boyfriend does not particularly enjoy going down on you.. which I'm sure if he didn't.. he wouldn't.

So.. have fun!!

Reesy

Dear Isitjustme,

I'm wondering whether it might be to do with feeling guilty - like you're a bad girl for being seen to want it?

PeterJL

I personally believe that on top of whatever sort of natural
awkwardness there is in the general population that
shame about our sexual organs and partaking in more
gratuitous sex acts is even more abundent in this country
on account of the religious (esp Catholic) influence.
I'm a guy and I've really only had the one sexual partner
and even though I love her very much I do believe that
a lot of her hangups about sex are contributed to by
a convent education (which served her well in lots of
other respects).

I'm speaking as someone who still respects a lot of the
good side of the Catholic church and other aspects of
their social conscience (eg, for the disadvantaged, poor, etc).
However, their obsession with sexual purity which seemed
to peak in the 1950s and has only slowly eroded over
time and the sort of piety that they espouse has probably
held women back from enjoying some of the intimacy that
makes for a happier life for them and their partners.

-P

LegacyUser

God no, I don't have any 'feeling guilty for liking it' feelings.

As for the Church (sorry to all those who feel it's the be all & end all) but I couldn't give a sh!t about their preachings:- they're all a bunch of hypocrites if you ask me.

So, it's nothing like that at all, I just be afraid that there might be a negative reaction from the guy when he 1st goes down there (which I couldn't cope with) & therefore I get V anxious as it's about to start.

That's all,
Thanks.

Bluebells

I can totally understand your nerves about someone going down on you.

You dont generally hear about a girl having a problem with giving bjobs, its expected. But you do hear a lot of guys joking about girls pubes, fishy smells and that they're just not arsed.

Especially with someone new, its a very private place to stick your face in comparisin to some lad with his yolk hanging out for the world to see.

We are expected to be so clean you could eat off us, while im sure girls have gone through with giving head to a not so perfectly smelling guy.

If your in relationship and your guy seems at all interested give it a go and if you dont feel comfortable then screw that. Wait until you are comfortable and even if you never do, whats the big deal? Sure it can be great but do what feels good.

Dragan

On the contrary, I know plenty of girls who have issues with giving head, and I can't say I blame them.

I love going down on a lady, it's just something I like to do, however i would NEVER EXPECT a girl to do the same.

It's not nice to be expectant!

The Troll

I'm not the biggest fan of going down on a woman. There a re a number of factors involved:

1. How hairy is it? I hate going down on a hairy muff as the texture is disgusting and a mouthful of curlies is never pleasant. If it's shaved, then it's ok.

2. Discharge. Any amount of vaginal discharge, be it small or large is just disgusting. Smell and taste are both horrible and totally put me off.

3. Cleanliness. If my g/f is fresh from scrubbing in the shower then i dont mind it. Any other time is a definite no no.

4. Taste duirng. After its been cleaned, in my experience after a short while of eating a woman out her juices start to flow and generally the taste of the vagina is for me horrible. I liken it to battery acid.

But i'm more an exception rather than the rule. Most of my guy friends love doing it even with the above things.

Different strokes for different folks though.

Lex Luthor

daRobot wrote:

If the girl has it trimmed down nicely and is clean, I cant think of a nicer place to be:D

here here:p

chern0byl

daRobot wrote:

I cant think of a nicer place to be

Dont get out much? I just think and nicer places seem to constantly appear.

Le Rack

The Troll wrote:

2. Discharge. Any amount of vaginal discharge, be it small or large is just disgusting. Smell and taste are both horrible and totally put me off.

4. Taste duirng. After its been cleaned, in my experience after a short while of eating a woman out her juices start to flow and generally the taste of the vagina is for me horrible. I liken it to battery acid.

Cum don't taste too fantastic either luv!

Giving head is I think about trust a lot aswell, and just how much you feel for a person, maybe I'm being a childish, fool-hearty romantic about it, but of the guys I've gone out with there are only a couple I would have ever even considered giving head to, now when I think I would probably only go down on one... (I'm eighteen and have had all of four real boyf's so I'm not entirely closed to the idea! )

I know most guys, at least claim to enjoy it, and a lot of girls will say they don't like it but they still do it. An ex of mine, told me, long before we were going out that he doesn't like giving or recieving head, "It's just not the sort of stuff that should be put in a mouth!" quote unquote.

Lex Luthor

The Troll wrote:

4. Taste duirng. After its been cleaned, in my experience after a short while of eating a woman out her juices start to flow and generally the taste of the vagina is for me horrible. I liken it to battery acid.

Apart from a nice cold beer, there's nothing tastier than pussy juice....but there's some women out there who would rather spit than swallow and so I can imagine there are some men out there that like it or don't.

Blisterman

If you're worried about the smell/taste, let him go down on you in the shower or just after a shower.