The Lion, the witch and the Killers

ErnieBall

Why did the hungry lion eat the deer?

Cos the deer called him a prick



The Killers : "Somebody told me, that you had a boyfriend, that looked like a girlfriend, that looked looked like her boyfriend, who knocked up my girlfriend, who beat up her boyfriend, who ate up a fisherman's friend, who started a fashion trend, of beating your boyfriend, at tiger woods pro golf on playstation 2


Why did the plane crash?

Cos the pilot was a bag of coal ...which apparently is what my mother claims i'm getting for Christmas, that and my 93 year old grandfather trying to set fire to my party hat with his Moore cigar after Xmas dinner


A friend of mine thinks that Justin Timberlake is the new Michael Jackson but I think he's the new Justin Timberlake


At the end of the day Bob's your uncle but at the beginning of the day he's your son


Keep laughin people cos you'll live longer, combat depression and look back at your life as a success. You don't have to laugh at my words but the next time you fart, imagine the noise a duck makes when you step on its head.

P.S. I'm from Cork City I am but i love all counties equally...except Sligo and Lancashire.

aidan_walsh

ErnieBall wrote:

Keep laughin people

Keep laughing? I hadn't even started yet at this stage...

ctrl-alt-delete

this humour forum gets unfunnier everyday

ive said it before and il say it again...maybe humour just isnt funny anymore

ErnieBall

aidan_walsh wrote:

Keep laughing? I hadn't even started yet at this stage...

Ah come on Aido, I mean stay positive in general instead of being miserable and depressed. I said you don't HAVE to laugh and you didn't, no need to be sarcy..go on so, gimme your best gag??

biko

ErnieBall wrote:

Why did the plane crash?
Cos the pilot was a bag of coal

Sorry you will just have to try harder at your jokes

ErnieBall

Well I think it's funny and my mum and my brother Walter Goat-Face "the Corrupter" McSweeney also thinks it's a barrel of larfs! So there, at least i'm being original and not just leaving links to other joke sites or worse, saying "that's not funny you big Cork fool" and running away and not saying what you think is funny like a big non-Cork fool...

biko

There there keep trying

ErnieBall

I'm genuinly curious to what people who visit this site regard as funny..i like the office, alan partridge, little britain, eddy murphy, richard pryor, father ted, big train and the fast show..what r you into biko? If u don't mind me asking?

MrJoeSoap

The "pilot was a bag of coal" joke was funny when I first heard it, but thats because it was "fresh". For an example of funnyness, I'd recommend most of Capt'n Midnights posts on here, www.theonion.com and "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" (the book, not the film).

Devon

"There's nothing funny about comedy" - Ahmed Ahmed

Hagar

Timing is very important in Humour. You need to work on yours a bit.
Try some time you are not near a keyboard...:p

ErnieBall wrote:

Ah come on Aido.... gimme your best gag??

I'm looking forward to this one.:D

biko

ErnieBall wrote:

what r you into biko? If u don't mind me asking?

I am mostly into political, religious or local humour, kinda like when Tiernan does Galway jokes. And of course Father Ted.
Father Ted is kinda strange in the sense that it's actually funnier to recap episodes than watching them in the first place.
"Read this - this is soooo funny OMFG ROFL" jokes are usually not my bag at all.

Hmm_Messiah

Father Ted is a phenomenon in that over all the series it was funny maybe three times. the "humour" was so bloody obvious
and it should be forever cursed for revealing the "talents" or Ardal O Hanlon and Pauline MycGlynn

I think RTE have some charity set up where they support pathetic would be talents like McGlynn buy giving them spots on every show they air.
Next she'll be doing the weather.

Best jokes are the very very clever ones, the ones some people just don't get, or ones where you're embarrassed/shocked as much as amused.

A joke I love is a jpeg but if you can visualise it two secretaries working at their desk with pcs in front of them, one answering the phone saying "....sorry the system is down and we have to do everythign manually today..." you scan down and she's playing patience/solitaire with a deck of cards

WellyJ

Maddox

Maddox is Funny, the OP is not.

Steoob

ernie ball.... just... i dunno.. go somewhere.... do the jumping motion

MrJoeSoap

Hmm_Messiah wrote:

Father Ted is a phenomenon in that over all the series it was funny maybe three times. the "humour" was so bloody obvious
and it should be forever cursed for revealing the "talents" or Ardal O Hanlon and Pauline MycGlynn

We have a code red, I repeat, a code red*.














*Code Red = Someone dissing Fr. Ted

de5p0i1er

ctrl-alt-delete wrote:

this humour forum gets unfunnier everyday

ive said it before and il say it again...maybe humour just isnt funny anymore

It's not that bad there are a few good ones in here most of the time just not this one.