Getting back with ex

LegacyUser

Hey im going anom here;

Anyway, heres the story.
Broke up with my girlfriend of 3 and a half years as I was acting like a bit of an asshole for the last few months, i dont know why i did, i think it was just cos i could and she let me treat her that way.
Things went to far and we both decided we would break up.
Its now 4 weeks down the road from the break up and im not enjoying the single life at all, i thouhgt it would be great but it aint! I suppose you dont know what you got till its gone.

I was talking to her for the first time the other night and she begged for me to get back with her, even though i really really wanted to, i didnt (I decided i needed to have a long time to think about this).

So now i think i want to get back with her, but im afraid a few months down the road i will turn back to the old me. Plus her friends dont like me to much anymore.
Any advice?

PS by asshole i mean i was just a bit unloving towards her,always went out with my mates instead of her etc but i never cheated or anything.

gucci

was in similar situation, broke up wanted to get back sorta, but i realised i needed to hold out a bit longer because i was hessitent similar to you, thinking if i go back will i regret it in few months etc. i held out then realised i was better off without her, i just functioned better without her. my advice is stay in contact, but keep your distance if you know wat i mean, time will help you figure out what you want+if it will work maybe without having to get back together and break up all over again

Binomate

Get back together with her if you miss her. Like you said "You don't know what you've got untill it's gone". Learn from what went wrong before and use it to try to make it better this time around.

Akrow

I've seen this from both sides... was the one begging gf to get back with me. We did, but the same problems creep up again and again.

REMEMBER why you broke up with her in the first place. Unless you're sure the same problems will not rear their ugly heads... they probably will.

Better off giving it some time,if you ask me.

Nasty_Girl

you say yourself you didn't treat her well because you could. You've dumped her, she's begging for you back.

No doubt she will be twice the door mat if you take her back because she'll be so glad to have you back.

What are you going to do with that?

*Lees*

I think you should leave it off for another few weeks and see how you feel then!!...
Your probably just missing her now but give it another while and you will get over it!... ye broke up for a reason... just stick it out and i think you will both get over it!!... you would get so used to the routine of meeting up and thats what your probably missing!
The same thing happened to me and my ex when we broke up!!... We both missed eachother so much and we made the mistake of still seeing eachother.... worst thing you can do!!!! We eventually just cut off all contact with eachother for a few months... it was hard at first... but both of us got on with our lives and we both got into new relationships!.. after a while we made contact with eachother again.... it all worked out for the best!... I love him as a friend but Id hate to think what would have happened if we hadn't moved on!!!
.... Just make a clean break now and you will be better off in the long run!!.... I promise!!!!

LegacyUser

Ye thats a good point about how much of a door mat she would be if we got back together, lots of good advice guys, thanks. I going to leave it for now and reasses the situation in a few weeks.

Thnaks for the advice.

cheekyass

first of all its NOT a good enough reason to get back woth someone who obviously still has feelings for you,just because you dont like the single life. chances are that you started treating her badly for a reason AND ye also broke up for some reason. It wont be the same as it was before you broke up, it never is.leave it a while and see how you feel about each other then

Victor

D king of leon wrote:

Plus her friends dont like me to much anymore.

This only matter if you are chasing her friends.

WhiteWashMan

D king of leon wrote:

Hey im going anom here;

Anyway, heres the story.
Broke up with my girlfriend of 3 and a half years as I was acting like a bit of an asshole for the last few months, i dont know why i did, i think it was just cos i could and she let me treat her that way.
Things went to far and we both decided we would break up.
Its now 4 weeks down the road from the break up and im not enjoying the single life at all, i thouhgt it would be great but it aint! I suppose you dont know what you got till its gone.

I was talking to her for the first time the other night and she begged for me to get back with her, even though i really really wanted to, i didnt (I decided i needed to have a long time to think about this).

So now i think i want to get back with her, but im afraid a few months down the road i will turn back to the old me. Plus her friends dont like me to much anymore.
Any advice?

PS by asshole i mean i was just a bit unloving towards her,always went out with my mates instead of her etc but i never cheated or anything.

what you are feeling is being single and not having a girlfriend.

remember why you broke up, and remember that the reason is still there.

all you want now is to be in a comfortable relationship, and sure, you feel comfortable with her. to be honest, youre wasting her time.

Dragan

IF you do get back with her the first thing you need to do is apologise for being a prick at the end.

If you get back like nothing happened then you don't deserve to go out with her dude.

Think long and hard about it before you make a decision , becuase you broke up with her for a reason, not because it was fun. If you can't treat her with respect then just leave her alone. It will be better for her in the long run.

If You do get back with her and treat her well then fair dues dude, it's hard to try and get people to forgive and forget, so persevere if thats the course you take.

oldpallas

Yeh I was in a similar situation myself. I was going out with a girl for 6 years , had a house together and and had a ring bought unknown to her. We were always a bit rocky but I always wanted her so Kept on working at it , anyway my father died and her mother was sick and we grew apart. we broke up last year and still to this day I miss her and want her back. I haven't seen her or spoke to her since.
She met someone else and that broke up also, I'm now wondering what should I do, I sent her a mail asking her to meet up for a friendly coffee but she wasn't having any of that. Should I go around to her house or should I sent her flowers and see what happens. i really miss her and hate being on my own, single life is such a pain. Most of my mates are married so it makes things even worse.

anyone any advice

I'm still living in the house that we bought and that's hard so I don't live there that much.

appreciate it if could help

jonny68

D king of leon wrote:

Hey im going anom here;

Anyway, heres the story.
Broke up with my girlfriend of 3 and a half years as I was acting like a bit of an asshole for the last few months, i dont know why i did, i think it was just cos i could and she let me treat her that way.
Things went to far and we both decided we would break up.
Its now 4 weeks down the road from the break up and im not enjoying the single life at all, i thouhgt it would be great but it aint! I suppose you dont know what you got till its gone.

I was talking to her for the first time the other night and she begged for me to get back with her, even though i really really wanted to, i didnt (I decided i needed to have a long time to think about this).

So now i think i want to get back with her, but im afraid a few months down the road i will turn back to the old me. Plus her friends dont like me to much anymore.
Any advice?

PS by asshole i mean i was just a bit unloving towards her,always went out with my mates instead of her etc but i never cheated or anything.

Precisely why she has begged you to take her back,you are a bit of a basta*d to birds and they are yours for ther taking,i think it's sad but it seems most women are like that,your a nice guy they won't appreciate you at all for it,,must be in their genes,you seem to have had a good thing there but id have a long hard think if i were you as to what you really want before makiong a decision.

Nasty_Girl

oldpallas wrote:

Yeh I was in a similar situation myself. I was going out with a girl for 6 years , had a house together and and had a ring bought unknown to her. We were always a bit rocky but I always wanted her so Kept on working at it , anyway my father died and her mother was sick and we grew apart. we broke up last year and still to this day I miss her and want her back. I haven't seen her or spoke to her since.
She met someone else and that broke up also, I'm now wondering what should I do, I sent her a mail asking her to meet up for a friendly coffee but she wasn't having any of that. Should I go around to her house or should I sent her flowers and see what happens. i really miss her and hate being on my own, single life is such a pain. Most of my mates are married so it makes things even worse.

anyone any advice

I'm still living in the house that we bought and that's hard so I don't live there that much.

appreciate it if could help

If she doesn't want to meet for coffee then I think it's pretty clear that she's not interested. If ye were always a bit rocky then maybe she wouldn't see the point in gettin back? A six year relationship is very hard to get over and she probably doesn't want to drag it up again.
On one hand if you haven't seen or spoke to her since then you don't really have anything to lose with the flowers and going to her house, on the other you could really f*ck her head up and your own.