Miss her

Sarah**

All messed up has it all right!

Victor

BrynW wrote:

arogant

Yes.

BrynW wrote:

little

Yes.

BrynW wrote:

godsh*te.

Don't think so.

You however have been abusive, first and last warning, next times its a ban

Red Kooga

Victor wrote:

Yes.
Yes.
Don't think so.

You however have been abusive, first and last warning, next times its a ban

It wouldnt be the first time WWM has caused messiness in PI is it? He seems excempt from banning from a forum he does nothing but stir it up in.


AllMessedUp I agree with ya on the rebound thing, its not nice to wake up hungover beside someone who is second best to an ex. Good post.

Zombrex

Miss her wrote:

I miss my x but she doesnt miss me. We broke up nearly a year ago. I think she is with some other guy now. Taking it bad. Always seem to crawl up into a shell. My God it hurts. She has moved on and deep down I cant take it. We were together a long time years infact. It really hurts how she can confine in somebody else and not want me anymore.

I get these weird shivers, I feel really insecure. I look around me and see that I have no personal life. My other x girlfriend from years ago keeps ringing my mobile and I just dont even have the energy to tell her to fock off. I never felt so crap in my life.

After a year? I would suspect your feelings are more to do with issues with yourself (lack of confidence, self-esteam issuse, social arkwardness etc) than actually with your ex-girlfriend. What ever this girl did she made you feel better about yourself, and now that is gone you are feeling bad. Really though you should feel good about yourself without needing a relationship to do this.

Forget about the girl (i bet you actually don't miss her but the way she made you feel about yourself) and focus on yourself a bit. If you have no "personal life" that would be a place to start. Join a club or something, try and find people with the same interests as you.

WhiteWashMan

im amazed that dso many people can get awaya withy completely off- topic posts.

and i still haveent seen the OP respond and say what it is they feel they should do.

to start thinking about what they feel they should do will do thes OP far better than reading some some distanced piece of advice from any reader here. the OP is the only one that knows the real situation, and is the only one that can fix it. and as such, is the only one that can start to really know what it is that is going to help in this situation.

perhaps if people spent more time thinking instead of shouting at me we could all be happier people. perhaps those who dont like me could learn to be tolerant enough and turn the other cheek?
maybe a group hug is in order?

LegacyUser

AllMessedUp wrote:

Its all crap believe me. You'll go through stages.

disbelieve it, your girl, your friend, your lover...gone
cryin your eyes out
beggin for her back
beggin for her to talk to you, lets be friends
get drunk, meet her out, say things you shouldnt have
get angry
next weekend find someone easy, go on the rebound
feel sh!t next mornin
do it again 2 weeks later with somelse you never met before
still feels ****
throw yourself into other stuff work,college,sport
feels a little better
more time passes, think about her now and again wondering how she is
go to pick up the phone and call, but u stop urself because its not the same
probably will angry or feel like sh!t on occasions, but life goes on doesnt it?
shes moved on so you cant go back, theres nothin to go back to

well thats what I did anyway. hope it helps in some way

following similar lines apart from the "throw yourself into other stuff work,college,sport" part.

hence still feeling sh!t.

another quiet weekend in the life of me!

jimmidy_cricket

*hugs White Wash Man*

And I think the OP has replied but under a different user name, also unregestered, or was that on another thread?

He dosn't know what to do, thats why he posted here, What would you do?

LegacyUser

Q: why do we fall?

A: So we can learn to pick ourselves up

WhiteWashMan

jimmidy_cricket wrote:

*hugs White Wash Man*

And I think the OP has replied but under a different user name, also unregestered, or was that on another thread?

He dosn't know what to do, thats why he posted here, What would you do?

what would i do?
id probably write a list of the good and bad side of the person, the good and bad side of our relationship, the good and bad memories, the good and bad situations, the good and annoying habits, and any other list i could think of to try and get them out of my system.

of course, writing it up and then talking to the person would be even better, but im thinking that at this stage that isnt going to happen.

the OP obviously needs closure, and sitting around moping isnt going to help.

only thinking about the situation in an objective manner, and doing something proactive about it will.

getting advice to go out and get drunk and get laid wont work. that will only end up in wasting money, having a hang over and having crap sex when you arent interested.

but a good start would be going out more, meeting people and generally just trying to do anything that will involve the OP not thinking about his ex.
if that means a change of scenary then so be it, but the level of angst currently being experienced is not healthy, and all of the commissoration in the world from the good souls of this web site arent going to help.

at the end of the day, only the OP can help themselves.
so, i ask the question again, what does the OP think they should do?

LegacyUser

WhiteWashMan wrote:

if that means a change of scenary then so be it, but the level of angst currently being experienced is not healthy, and all of the commissoration in the world from the good souls of this web site arent going to help.

at the end of the day, only the OP can help themselves.
so, i ask the question again, what does the OP think they should do?

Im not so sure what they should do, in fact I dont understand the question. Are you asking me because you think there is nothing others here can do to help me? Possibly so. Maybe I am using this site as a way to write things down pro and con, a way to express things and get it off my chest. I know feelin down isnt healthy at the mo but thats all I can seem to do. Trust me change of scenary isnt an option (for family reasons) and friend are also few and far between (because of the fact I dropped half of them for her without knowing and they all went their seperate ways in life as people do). Feeling down might not be healthy, but its all I seem to be doing lately. I dont want to be down, Ive tried everything. The timing of all this stuff wasnt great (again probs at home family probs). It never rains but it pores kinda thing. I remember being their for my ex so often, I was the only person she confided in and really let out to, I was her rock, and now I need a rock it aint around. My old rock is out shaggin and dancin the nites away.

WhiteWashMan

Miss her wrote:

Im not so sure what they should do, in fact I dont understand the question. Are you asking me because you think there is nothing others here can do to help me? Possibly so. Maybe I am using this site as a way to write things down pro and con, a way to express things and get it off my chest. I know feelin down isnt healthy at the mo but thats all I can seem to do. Trust me change of scenary isnt an option (for family reasons) and friend are also few and far between (because of the fact I dropped half of them for her without knowing and they all went their seperate ways in life as people do). Feeling down might not be healthy, but its all I seem to be doing lately. I dont want to be down, Ive tried everything. The timing of all this stuff wasnt great (again probs at home family probs). It never rains but it pores kinda thing. I remember being their for my ex so often, I was the only person she confided in and really let out to, I was her rock, and now I need a rock it aint around. My old rock is out shaggin and dancin the nites away.

dont get me wrong, im not having a go at you, and i wasnt having a go at you on the second post of this thread, although, it would seem that many of the posters feel i was

its was simply and excersize to get you to start thinking about what it is that you feel you should do.

the question is easy. you feel down after all this time. you have a quick rant about not having any friends, about being miserable, and about being unhapp.
the simple question is:

what will make you feel better?

what do you think you need to do to feel better?

i dont ask becuase i want you to write back at me and say 'i dont know. im depressed, i know im depressed, nothing makes me happy, i may as well die'.

i ask it becuase you need to start thinking about what you are going to do. dont expect an answer this week.

also, with regards to family and timing and all that, you know, we all have that. those are just excuses to stay feeling depressed.
and it never pours, it only rains. life could be a whole lot worse.

you have a whole left by one person, you need to fill it or patch it or something. you know this. so what if she id out enjoying herself? you should be happy!
to be honest, i think youre feeling a lot of self pity. and thats ok, but youre wallowing in it, and thats not.

visit the doc if youre depressed. get some excersize. call up all of your old friends that you havent talked to in years and say hello, and say that you are sorry that you havent been in contact for ages.
buy some new dancing shoes.

but for the love of god, stop beating yourself up. stop using excuses for staying miserable.
but only you know what will work, and only you can fix you.

so, again......

what do you think you need to do?

Dustaz

I disagree about people here not being able to help with random advice. Gil_dubs posts are some of the best on this subject ive ever seen on this board. OP, you should re-read them a few times and try to understand what (s)he is saying. Very helpful stuff imo.

Ive been through your situation a couple of times, and if im being honest im still in the midst of it. Really the only thing that helps as has been said is time and being pro-active about things.

It aint easy, but it does get easier.

LegacyUser

WWM, I know you're right, and I'd tell someone else the same thing. Family thing isnt an excuse unfortunately, though Id prob have one if it wasnt the case. With regards to the whole pop up to mates thing, alot of them have moved on as in moved away. May be in a little while things will pick up!

Dax Wax

It isnt easy. The OP is going through a hell of a time as I did and Still am. I think its only natural to look for solutions everywhere, including the net. The gap left by this person is enormous, even more so when the means to fill it are not exactly at your door step.

I still grieve and get v emotional about our breakup. I still go into shock and disbelief, but I soldier on in the hope that one day I wont care as much anymore. You should concentrate on your work and old pals. Make some new ones, some female too if you can. There is loads of genuine girls out there. I have met one already. things are a little slow but she's really nice and Im taking it a step at a time. I dont want to bore or upset you with my love life but honestly Im no oil painting, so if theres a chance for me to be with a nice girl (she's pretty hot too!) then there will be for you. Chip up it will sort itself out.

In the mean time do your utmost to stay positive. dont start up smoking, dont drink too much, dont shag the next girl that gives you attention. Let time do its thing and heel(Im preaching to myself here tbh!!).

LegacyUser

Miss her wrote:

Im not so sure what they should do, in fact I dont understand the question. Are you asking me because you think there is nothing others here can do to help me? Possibly so. Maybe I am using this site as a way to write things down pro and con, a way to express things and get it off my chest. I know feelin down isnt healthy at the mo but thats all I can seem to do. Trust me change of scenary isnt an option (for family reasons) and friend are also few and far between (because of the fact I dropped half of them for her without knowing and they all went their seperate ways in life as people do). Feeling down might not be healthy, but its all I seem to be doing lately. I dont want to be down, Ive tried everything. The timing of all this stuff wasnt great (again probs at home family probs). It never rains but it pores kinda thing. I remember being their for my ex so often, I was the only person she confided in and really let out to, I was her rock, and now I need a rock it aint around. My old rock is out shaggin and dancin the nites away.

GROW UP.

Stop whining. Nobody cares and nobody will listen to you.

You lost your girlfriend for a number of reasons. Firstly, you were needy. You clung onto her too much. She was EVERYTHING to you. You were no longer a challenge to her and you bored her. You are insecure and have low self esteem. You felt "lucky" that she even chose you. You repelled her by acting so clingy and needily. She was thinking about dumping you for months. believe me. She was f*cking other men behind your back.

This will happen to you again if you don't learn from the mistakes you made.

You don't understand women at all. if you knew what you were doing, you could actually attract any woman you wanted. This girl would just be a small part of your harem and she would worship you. Women are emotional creatures. They act on emotions. if you push their buttons the right way and give them THE RIGHT emotions at the right time they will fall for you. NEVER take advice from women about women. TRUST ME, I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.

Again, this will happen to you repeatedly if you do not learn from your mistakes.

sprinkles

dublindude wrote:

You know, if you weren't a moderator you'd be long banned from this forum.

Why are you always a smartass? Are you like this in real life or is it some kind of sad moderator power trip?

You really need to take a step back and look at your posts. I hope to God you are not like this in real life.

...

Touché

jimmidy_cricket

So_Cute wrote:

GROW UP.

Stop whining. Nobody cares and nobody will listen to you.

I think you'll find that after over 60 replies to his opening post people are listening and obviously caring.

I agree that the OP has to stop whinging and pining after his ex but I don't think its going to help with a tirade of abuse.

Do you know the OP and his ex? I only ask because how do you know his GF was screwing around on him? If thats the case then fan bloody tastic, he can start hating the cheating b!tch and get on with his life. But to me its sounds like a real 'best friend' thing to say to protect your mate from the 'possessive boyf' and to give him closure. If its true then it should come from the horse's mouth not some interfering friend, if she broke it off without reason, when infact she had been cheating then shes a coward. The OP deserves closure, sounds to me like he's been holding a torch for some time now and thats just wrong.

WhiteWashMan

Miss her wrote:

With regards to the whole pop up to mates thing, alot of them have moved on as in moved away. !

but not all of them

make a start. who knows where it will lead....

Nala

So_Cute wrote:

GROW UP.

Stop whining. Nobody cares and nobody will listen to you.

You lost your girlfriend for a number of reasons. Firstly, you were needy. You clung onto her too much. She was EVERYTHING to you. You were no longer a challenge to her and you bored her. You are insecure and have low self esteem. You felt "lucky" that she even chose you. You repelled her by acting so clingy and needily. She was thinking about dumping you for months. believe me. She was f*cking other men behind your back.

You don't understand women at all. if you knew what you were doing, you could actually attract any woman you wanted. This girl would just be a small part of your harem and she would worship you. NEVER take advice from women about women.

Where exactly are you getting all this information? There was no need for a tirade of abuse. And why not take advice about women from a woman? I'd give my male friends advice about their girlfriends, I wouldn't have any hidden agenda or anything, I don't know about you though.

So_Cute wrote:

TRUST ME, I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.

I beg to differ. How old are you, 14?
Should you not be concentrating on hitting puberty?

LegacyUser

So_Cute wrote:

GROW UP.

Stop whining. Nobody cares and nobody will listen to you.

You are insecure and have low self esteem.

You felt "lucky" that she even chose you.

You repelled her by acting so clingy and needily.

She was thinking about dumping you for months.

She was f*cking other men behind your back.

This will happen to you again if you don't learn from the mistakes you made.

You don't understand women at all. i

if you knew what you were doing, you could actually attract any woman you wanted.

NEVER take advice from women about women. TRUST ME, I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.

do you know me or something?
do you know my x or something?
Ok I got the message, I am whining c*nt.
You seem to know women well anyway

LegacyUser

Nala wrote:

Where exactly are you getting all this information? There was no need for a tirade of abuse. And why not take advice about women from a woman? I'd give my male friends advice about their girlfriends, I wouldn't have any hidden agenda or anything, I don't know about you though.



I beg to differ. How old are you, 14?
Should you not be concentrating on hitting puberty?

its probably somebody who thinks they know me on this site, misplacing me for their ex or mate's ex. Or s/he's probably 14.

WhiteWashMan

Nala wrote:

Where exactly are you getting all this information? There was no need for a tirade of abuse. And why not take advice about women from a woman? I'd give my male friends advice about their girlfriends, I wouldn't have any hidden agenda or anything, I don't know about you though.



I beg to differ. How old are you, 14?
Should you not be concentrating on hitting puberty?

you seem to be the expert on other people here.

or are you the advice police?

reporting your post for being abusive and off topic. again.

WhiteWashMan

Miss her wrote:

its probably somebody who thinks they know me on this site, misplacing me for their ex or mate's ex. Or s/he's probably 14.

be careful. the language you use in some of you posts would lead people to think you werent much past adolecence yourself.

dont get on your soap box just yet...

Dax Wax

So cute = not a fair comment at a all

Nala = if so Cute can make comments like this, then yours was far from harsh

Miss her = feel your pain, worse than you but fed up crying about it

WhiteWashMan = Im not one to point fingers but you do a lot of it, u are on a power trip

WhiteWashMan

Dax Wax wrote:

WhiteWashMan = Im not one to point fingers but you do a lot of it, u are on a power trip

how so?

Gordon

Keep it on topic please.

WhiteWashMan

well, ive been accused a of a lot of things on this thread, and id be interested to learn from the experts.

im hoping it will make me a better person and hopefully i can help people in a manner that these people feel i should be doing so.

i think at this stage the OP has had many bits of advice from many people. the thread is here to read and re-read if he gets bored, but i dont think there is anything more to add that hasnt really been said before.

but since mosts now seem to be telling other people what to say, how to think and what to do, it may be best to just close it down.

Nala

WhiteWashMan wrote:

you seem to be the expert on other people here.

or are you the advice police?

reporting your post for being abusive and off topic. again.

Oh no! Pity I reported yours long ago.
I don't think I "seem to be the advice police" around here, seeing's how you're the one that's on a silly little power trip. You have one rule for yourself and another for everyone else.What gives you the right to be condescending, dictating, making smart remarks, in general being a wanker?

Tell us all.

WhiteWashMan

Nala wrote:

I don't think I "seem to be the advice police" around here, seeing's how you're the one that's on a silly little power trip..

just once, can a single person tell me how im on a power trip?
you keep going on about it, but you cant seem to give any proof.
if youre not the advice police, then why are you telling me what i can and cant post?

Nala wrote:

You have one rule for yourself and another for everyone else..

an you give me any examples? im unsure what i keep telling people to do and then do otherwise.

Nala wrote:

.What gives you the right to be condescending, dictating, making smart remarks, in general being a wanker?
.

if someone asks for advice, then i believe i am still free to give that advice in whatever way i wish.
just becuase you dont comprehend does not mean its bad.

as for calling me a wánker, now, really, thats just not on. bad girl.

mods, sorry this has gone off topic again, but tbh, i am going to start sticking up for myself at this point.

Beruthiel

Nala wrote:

in general being a wanker?
.

nala
personal abuse in this forum is a bannable offence - if you don't like wwm comments, put him on ignore, he has as much right to his opinion as you do.

now, if you have anything else to say, could yourself and wwm take it to PM and quit taking this thread off topic
B

LegacyUser

Ok all, apologies for whinging. I was using this site as away to let things out. wrong place I suppose. Was looking for advice too but ther is nothing People can do or say. She wasnt f#cking behind my back, I did make her my life and I did bore her (I think) towards the end. We were best mates and I genuinely miss her as a person. As for the whole I sound adolesent thing all I'm doing is expressing how I feel and how much it got to me as best I could.

thanks all for the input and advice.

Dax Wax

Best of luck Miss her.

PM anytime if you need it.

Go out there and live life, remember even if you felt she got bored of you, she too was in the relationship so don't be worrying about you as a person.

WhiteWashMan

Miss her wrote:

Ok all, apologies for whinging. I was using this site as away to let things out. wrong place I suppose. .

not really, but you can only take from something what you want to take. if you let things out and you dont feel better, then yes, maybe it was the wrong place.

like i said, only you can fix you

Miss her wrote:

Was looking for advice too but ther is nothing People can do or say. .

oh, people can say all kinds of things, and give you ideas and stuff, but again, im sorry to repeat, only you can fix you.

Miss her wrote:

We were best mates and I genuinely miss her as a person. .

of course you do. and you know what, thats ok!
its allowed. hell, my cat died about 6 years ago, and i nearly cried last time i went home when i saw a picture of her. ok, not exactly the same thing. obviously my cat was more important then your ex

but you know, you have to move on. she was....

she isnt any more. and it will take time.

Miss her wrote:

As for the whole I sound adolesent thing all I'm doing is expressing how I feel and how much it got to me as best I could.
.

actually, i ws simply pointing out that you were giving out about someone because of the manner of their post and called them adolecent.
the same could be said of you at times.
but its ok. just be a little more tolerant

im very preachy on the tolerant side of things. intolerable people get on my goat so to speak...
but we all have our crosses to bear.

as for expressing yourself, do it more. nothing wrong with it

Miss her wrote:

thanks all for the input and advice.

for all the good it will do you. advice is simply words unless you act on it. it may end up good, it may end up bad, but doing nothing will end up the same.

sure, people thing im an arse for my very first question, but i still stand by it.
i do want to know.

what are you going to do about it?

now that you have thought more, now you have ideas, now that you have something to go on, what are you going to do?

are you going to sit around and mope, or are you going to do something about your situation?

AllMessedUp

I don’t know if this will help you but here’s my story. I was with this girl for about 3.5 years, met her in college. Great for 3 years, last 6 months of it very routine, both of us was getting bored, didn’t want to admit that to ourselves but we cared a lot for one another and sill loved one another. It was college by day, living in one anothers pockets by nite. She moved away in June, got a new job, house and friends. Saw her on weekends.One weekend she hinted things weren’t the same between us. The next day I went to end it but she cried her eyes out. Got back together. A few weeks later she ended it. This time I took it badly, very badly. Begged for her back, for a whole month. No joy. Did things I shouldn’t have (really stupid but Im not gonna go there). She had moved on. We fell out not even friends now, too many nasty things said and done. Haven spoken in 2 or 3 months. Tried to open communication just as mates 2 months ago but didn’t reply to text. I did the locking myself away, going on the piss to sleepin with strangers thing but it didn’t help. Its when I learned that its okay to be single and get on with other things that I finally moved on. It did hurt, for a whole 3 months it hurt but Im alright now. We were good together, best of friends in fact. She doesn’t see it that way and I know its impossible to be good friends but I do still hope we can be friendly because she was a big and great part of my life.

You should try and think positive and hope that you can be civil with your ex, and find someonelse when your ready. Make a few changes to your life, I did. Took me a while but I did it.

LegacyUser

May be I should sleep with my other x girl from years ago
It would be wrong considering she is hooked up on me as I am on my last girl.

But she's hot and it is tempting!