This is a new low

LegacyUser

As the story goes
I met a girl In a nightclub, we danced and exchanged numbers at the end of the night. I started going out with her exclusively for a few weeks anyway to cut a long story short I only found out her real age yesterday and it turns out she is 15!!!!!!!She doesn't know I know yet.This is bad she has a fake passport to get into pubs and nightclubs and told me she was 20 and In college when we met (I am 22, almost 23)I don't wanna break up with her:( any advise?

xzanti

Do her parents know about the relationship?? Hate to state the obvious but you're risking trouble with the gardai... If her parents are ok with it and it doesnt bother you that she lied to you then I dont see why you should have to break up if you like the girl...

Cabaal

Leave it be man, she lied to you so for starters thats not a good start to a relationship.
Its not going to last in the end so if I was you I wouldn't risk big trouble with parents and/or Gardi personally I think your much better off ending it now

Hagar

At the very least you could be done for supplying alcohol to a minor if you buy her a drink.
Bad scene. Be somewhere else with someone else.

Crucifix

Cabaal wrote:

Leave it be man, she lied to you so for starters thats not a good start to a relationship.
Its not going to last in the end so if I was you I wouldn't risk big trouble with parents and/or Gardi personally I think your much better off ending it now

Agreed.
Lying about your age is not a hallmark of maturity, I'd just move on.

rugbug86

dude if her parents find out ---> 15 = 2 yrs BELOW legal age = statutory rape

i'd say talk it through with her, explain where you're coming from with being upset about the lying. tbh, i'd say finish with her.

joejoem

Move on man, there are plenty more over the age fish in the sea

madrab

move on - you were eight when she was born! when you are 30 and ready to settle down etc she will be in the middle of college etc etc etc!

also as has been said it is illeagal!!!!!! i wouldnt go there!

Binomate

It's not KatieGordon is it? Best to break it off, she's only 15.

Amazotheamazing

Walk away, there's nothing to even think about here, just walk away.

b3n

Yeah, even if you go down the road of waitin for her to hit 17 / 18 your only gonna be foolin yourself, she'll be off doin her thing in college etc.

Id let this fish back into the river man!

Binomate

Has she even done her Junior Cert?

Setun

22/2 + 7 =18

Leave her be I'd say.

dudara

She's young, too young. She's illegal to boot. i think you know what you have to do.

secret_squirrel

In the mood to play devils advocate on this one.

Firstly who told you she is underage? Are they completely trustworthy? Do they have something to gain by breaking you up?

afaik a Fake Passport isnt the easiest form of fake id to get hold of.

Leaving aside the legal ramifications for a sec.

What are your feelings for this girl - are you head over heels?

It could be argued that this girl knows exactly what she is doing. She has intentionally gone through several complicated steps in order to appear older than she is. This suggests she believes she is ready to accept the responsibilities of being an adult. (Including lying and deciving)

I would suggest there are a (very) few 15 year old people who have the physical and mental maturity to act as adults. You need to determine if she is one of them. Of course there's no test been invented for maturity. She is fast approaching the age where a 7 year age gap is pretty trivial.

If you do have a mature relationship and you can get over the breach of trust in it so far it may be worth continuing - only you 2 can decide that.

And now the legal bit.

If you have already had sex then I would suggest that if you have seen the fake passport you have a pretty good defence. However I aint a lawyer, you may still be convicted regardless.
If you have sex now you will be knowingly commiting a crime - however there are 15 year old girls having sex everyday - I wouldnt condone it but its not necessarily condemable in the right circumstances.

BUT both the law and society act very harshly towards people who are seen to break the major taboo that is underaged sex.

Anyhow I've tried to present a more balanced post, its mostly playing devils advocate, but Im in that kinda mood.

A matter of importance that I only touched on was the breach of trust her lies may have caused.

Just bear in mind that matters of sex and sexuality are far more complex than the simple laws dealing with them.

Good luck to you in whatever you decide.

(Oh and btw 1 of my friends started having sex with a girl when she was underage. The age gap was about 2 years. 17 & 15. After some hairy times with her parents - they are now in their 30's happily married with a kid - so it can work out - rarely)

sharkman

secret_squirrel wrote:

In the mood to play devils advocate on this one.

rarely)

Excellent post !

Mina Loy

DefUnreg83 wrote:

As the story goes
I met a girl In a nightclub, we danced and exchanged numbers at the end of the night. I started going out with her exclusively for a few weeks anyway to cut a long story short I only found out her real age yesterday and it turns out she is 15!!!!!!!She doesn't know I know yet.This is bad she has a fake passport to get into pubs and nightclubs and told me she was 20 and In college when we met (I am 22, almost 23)I don't wanna break up with her:( any advise?

Man that is wrong. A girl is totally different when she is 15 than when she is 18 or 19 (thats how it was for me anyway), she is still maturing and you'll probably be a mistake she'll live to regret because she was silly and 15! A similar thing happened to me (me being the female) so i do know what Im talking about. In all seriousness, youre probably not going to marry her or be with her for the rest of your life so save both of you some heartache and end it, she will get over it..trust me.

Faith

I have to wonder about her! I'm all for older men, but there is a line. When I was 14, a guy I knew was 21 and interested in me. He kept asking me out and despite the fact he was really good looking, I wouldn't go out with him because it was just too old. And I thought he was creepy for persuing a 14 year old.

If you go ahead with the relationship, be aware that you'll encounter a LOT of problems when other people find out. That's not the kind of thing society really takes too kindly to.

Tar.Aldarion

OP, you know you have to break up with her even if you don't want to. There are so many reasons why. If it was meant to be, talk to her again in a few years.

Enii

I think you have to be rational here. If you saw a girl in a nightclub that you fancied and then a mate told you she was 15, I would assume that you would tunr on your heel and leave her for someone her own age........ Would this be true?

Now in this case you have found out after the fact that she is under age. Be the mature sensible person and do the right thing. Walk away - for your own sake.

ferdi

op: you, everyone here, the dogs on the street know your only option here is to run for the hills, dont be a charlie chester./

padser

secret_squirrel wrote:

If you have already had sex then I would suggest that if you have seen the fake passport you have a pretty good defence. However I aint a lawyer, you may still be convicted regardless.
If you have sex now you will be knowingly commiting a crime - however there are 15 year old girls having sex everyday - I wouldnt condone it but its not necessarily condemable in the right circumstances.

As a law student i would say that unfotuntantely for you believing she was overage, even with good reason (such as seeing fake passport, or meeting her in a pub etc) is almost certainly no defence. (it is in England and we may follow suit over the next couple of yrs but to the best of my knowledge we have not as of yet).

Certainly if you were to do it again in full knowledge there would be absolutely no defence.

However there is the point that it would be quite difficult in practice to prove it if you were to simply deny it. After all you are unlikely to have had an audiance.

Fajitas!

Mate of mine got in ALOT of legal trouble over this because a girl lied to him about her age. And he was only a year older than her.

Walk away man. It ain't worth it in the long run.

Sangre

FIVE-TEEN!

Seriously, how can you even THINK about not running away?

Nasty_Girl

this girl still has a lot of growing up to do.

CarolLorraine

Be the grown up here and leave her to her school work. She is too young!!!

Interesting title to this thread - indeed it's a new low when you have to ask a question that shouldn't have to be answered by us, the answer is so obvious and unanimous.

LegacyUser

You are a MAN. She is a CHILD.

secret_squirrel

OP - do you believe she it too young? Lets face it the opionions of a few random posters on a forum count for very little compared to what you two feel for each other.

Just because you are the elder in a relationship doesnt necessarily mean you are taking advantage. Feel free to defy our cultural norms if it makes you feel comfortable. As long as it is a relationship of roughly equals you are doing nothing wrong. (apart from the commiting a crime if you have sex bit). You seem to really care for this girl, is your relationship strong enough to try to defy convention for?

If find it deeply ironic in the western world that in the last 1-200 years as we become more and more sexually permissive in terms of when its acceptable for young girls to start developing a sexual identity, we have actually become more repressive of when its acceptable for young girls to act on that sexuality (probably a humanities topic in there)

And since every other poster refuses to address this : Are you certain she is lying about her age? Are you certain she is 15?

/lucifer's lawyer

Civilian_Target

DefUnreg83 wrote:

As the story goes
<snip>

Like Squirell says, good fake Irish passports are very hard to come by, and unaffordable to a 15 year olds in general. Sounds like someone's taking the piss out of you, just tell her what you've been told and ask her to tell you the truth, and make sure you feel comfortable she's telling you the truth. You might feel a bit like a fool if it turns out she's not 15, but its better than being done for rape.

Of course - if she is 15, you have to dump her.

the_syco

Did a male mate tell you this? Or a female "mate". If it was male, he proberly wants you to F off, so he can get it on with her, and if its female, ask the girl what she thinks of X, as X may be a sworn enemy.

Finally, say it to her. Also, ask her about her leaving cert class, to see if anyone from that class is above 18, and knows her.

She may be telling the truth, for its only one persons word, and you don't know what motive that person may have.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Civilian_Target wrote:

Like Squirell says, good fake Irish passports are very hard to come by, and unaffordable to a 15 year olds in general. Sounds like someone's taking the piss out of you, just tell her what you've been told and ask her to tell you the truth, and make sure you feel comfortable she's telling you the truth. You might feel a bit like a fool if it turns out she's not 15, but its better than being done for rape.

Of course - if she is 15, you have to dump her.

Not neccesarily, I know one 16 yr old & one 17 yr old with a fake passport.
They're not exactly rich or anything, said girl might have a part time job.

Even still, it's just the law that's used for everybody, and there are exceptions to everything. She lied so she could score ya, but then started to like ya so had to keep lying - not the behaviour of kids exclusively but human nature.

If it was me, I'd destroy any evidence of carnal knowledge, deny any accusations *THEN* break up with her. That is assuming you've slept with her which you may or may not have done.

However if you're happy enough being seen as the local Gary Glitter(which you probably will if people find out) & like the girl enough to make the 8yrs irrelevant then why let other people stand in your way?

WhiteWashMan

DefUnreg83 wrote:

As the story goes
I met a girl In a nightclub, we danced and exchanged numbers at the end of the night. I started going out with her exclusively for a few weeks anyway to cut a long story short I only found out her real age yesterday and it turns out she is 15!!!!!!!She doesn't know I know yet.This is bad she has a fake passport to get into pubs and nightclubs and told me she was 20 and In college when we met (I am 22, almost 23)I don't wanna break up with her:( any advise?

break up with her.

Zombrex

DefUnreg83 wrote:

As the story goes
I met a girl In a nightclub, we danced and exchanged numbers at the end of the night. I started going out with her exclusively for a few weeks anyway to cut a long story short I only found out her real age yesterday and it turns out she is 15!!!!!!!She doesn't know I know yet.This is bad she has a fake passport to get into pubs and nightclubs and told me she was 20 and In college when we met (I am 22, almost 23)I don't wanna break up with her:( any advise?

Dude how did you not know she was 15 after seeing someone for a few weeks?? Maybe in a night club with the lights low, but could you not tell in the day light.

Anyway, end it ... seriously, you could get into a lot of trouble dating someone who is under the legal concent age.

That is ignoring the fact that a 23 year old going out with a 15 year old is f**ked up ... reminds me of the South Park episode with Shelly and Skyler

You didn't know she was 15, so really you didn't do anything you should worry about. But know you do, if you continue to see her that is mess up.

Amazotheamazing

Actually if they had sex he has raped her, girls of 15 can't consent to intercourse, it's strict liability ie, no defence. Basically if the OP has slept with her, he has no defense to statutory rape charges. Harsh eh?

Dave

I'd say the OP means "altered" passport as opposed to "fake" my sister (17) altered hers slightly at a cost of about 50c.

dundalk cailin

id advise ya to get out.. when i was 15 i was so immature compared to now, it would be too much strain imo, she's what, in 3rd yr? ur in college? working? when she does her LC u'll be 25..
my friend is 18, goin out with a 27 yr old..in that case its not so bad, cos she's quite mature.. if she was 18, id say yea the age gap isnt that big a deal.

Miss Fluff

Do NOT pass go, do NOT collect £200.
Run for the hills as fast as you can man.
You are playing with fire and could end up in SERIOUS trouble. :eek:

Love

Okay... a friend of mine went out with a 21 year old when she was 14... so I'm not *completely* against it, but you do realise that if you sleep with her then you could be charged with statutory rape? IMO you'd be better off walking away. If you want to be with her that badly then surely it can wait until she's older.

BobTheBeat

Can you spell J-A-I-L-B-A-I-T!

But seriously,you'd want to be very careful about this especially in the current social climate. Even if nothing comes of it, people have mouths and mouths can talk to walls, which have ears that listen..... you could find your name being dragged through all sorts of nasty ****e

Piste

As Secret Squirrekl said, are you 100% sure that this girl is 15? Confirm this for certain before you go and do something you may regret.

If she is indeed 15, remember that age is a number and a number only. Emotional and Mental maturity are the important factors here, if you feel that she is mature enough for you than there is no problem. As long as you don't have sex with her you are doing nothing illegal.

Age gaps shouldn't be a problem if you both really like each-other and if you're alright with her having lied to you about her age.

WhiteWashMan

Piste wrote:

Age gaps shouldn't be a problem .

apart from the statutory rape thing.

i dont think that can be overstated enough!

440Hz

secret_squirrel covered it all there tbh, however i reckon that aside from the legal point of view.. if she can lie about something as important as that, and go to that much trouble to get around it, then she cant be too trustworthy, and will *most* likely not think twice about deceiving you further down the line. Then reconsider the legal point of view and imagine the possible consequences of her deceiving you about *something else* - very scary thought tbh. best of luck mate, but Id say, find a nice college girl and have a laugh. Things like this are too serious to mess with.

Sarn

If her parents find out you're ****ed. Escape.

Confirming that she is underage was a good point. You could always ask to see her college id (the old let's have a look at your photo, mine's terrible usually works). Embedded photos in college id can be hard to come by. Doubtful she'd have one if she has a fake/altered passport.