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Advice / Tip
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20-11-2005 1:34am#1
Comments
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I'm sure there are others who'll give you the long and short of it. But if you want to read about a 'legend in his own underpants' when it comes to mental nights out - Read the Tucker Max diaries:
http://www.tuckermax.com/
Some of it is hyped up and exagerated. Most of it is not in any way applicable to dealing with Irish girls (They wouldn't put up with the s*** this guy tries) but you'll certainly have a hoot reading about the ridiculously debauched nights out he's had with his various drinking/partying buddies.
In the real world, there just aren't too many 'lady killer' moves that you can make. It's all down to a few straight-forward 'rules'.
1. Don't be an arse - No showing off and nothing that's going to end up with a lift home in a squad car. That might go down well with the lads but the only girls that would be impressed aren't the girls you'll ever want to have anything to do with.
2. Don't get paralytic by chugging straight spirits after a keg of beer. You'll be drunk and just like the ad's on TV, you'll look like a tit at the time and even if you don't remember it yourself, others will. And they'll remind you of it. Over and over again. Pleasantly inebriated is the way to go if you have to.
3. Get a few laughs going (without being a right clown). Make light of yourself and NEVER slag their friends. Ever. Learn from my experience here.
If you can make a girl laugh, in a good way of course, you're on the way.
4. Be yourself. Don't lie. Don't bragg. It might backfire if you happen to get lucky and meet a great girl on a night out. Nothing worse than having to come clean about not having a car/job/apartment or whatever.
5. Dance. Even if you can't - Try. You've probably already figured this out but in case you haven't - Girls LOVE dancing. And don't be worried if you're crap - As long as you try and as long as they know you're up for a bit of craic, they'll appreciate it.
6. Low level conversation is the way to go. Talk about your Sun holiday, where they were drinking before hitting the club, the music/DJ, compliment their skirt, perfume, whatever. If you're all book-worms, learn to dumb down a bit. You're out for a night on the town, not taking a quick break from the library.
7. Don't be a leech. A definate look (at their face you twat) is enough. If you get a smile back, keep it cool(ish), glance/look away for a couple of seconds, the either another smile and if it's reciprocated or if she smiles again you can start your engines and move out of the pits and onto the starting grid. Warm up your legs and get over there with your opening line.
8. DON'T, for the love of all that's precious to you, use a crappy chat up line. Say hello, ask their name, REPEAT IT! (don't just smile and nod), tell them yours and ask if they want to head to the dance floor. From there....Just shake your ass, shrug your shoulders or do whatever lame assed bloke dance you've been doing all along (like I said, girls have realistically low expectations about fella's dancing ability).
9. Enjoy yourself! You're there to have fun too - Not just to pull. Put yourself out there and if you get knocked back a few times - Put it down to experience or PMS, whatever reason you have to use to make sure you get back into the game as soon as possible.
10. Go with the flow. If you reckon you're all set for the night, just take it easy. You're unlikely to end up outside within a few minutes of getting together with all your dreams coming true (although it certainly does happen). Don't put that nice girl you managed to pull under pressure just because you've got a trouser tent and you think it'll wear off if you have to have another pint waiting for her to get her coat and bag.
11. Be a lovable rogue - Not a pushy arsehole. Charm mixed with a bit of cheekiness does the trick but if you're grabbing two handfuls and a mouthful when she's not up for it you're nothing but a drunken dirt-bag waiting to get a nut-slap. And rightly so. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen.
12. Carry rubbers - Several! Make sure you know how to use 'em (practice makes perfect). Keep enough money on you to be able to get home safely at the very end of the night - Wherever and with whomever you've ended up passing the time with. It's all about playing it safe - Even with a few beers on you. Don't take chances in ANYTHING you do on a night out - It's not worth the price you might pay.
So there you go. The above is not in any particular order. And it's by no means failsafe/foolproof/exhaustive. But if you've a little confidence, a smidgeon of intelligence and even a scraping of personality, you're actually pretty much set. Look, the simple fact is that you'll do alright as long as you're not acting like a puppy with an itch and no idea what to do with it. Do what you do now - Go for a couple of beers, follow up in a club and just have fun. The only other thing I'd add is that you shouldn't be intimidated by the opposite sex. Loads of girls your age are just as unsure about how to go about doing this too. It's all about experience and confidence (not arrogance). Oh, and if you're a student, don't think it's like the movies and that you'll score if you spend your grant buying girls drink - It's not realistic and you won't be able to sustain that type of girl for long on the average student income. It's all about you being you and putting yourself out there!
[EDIT] Bugger, forgot to add - ASK FOR A NUMBER! More than once I've wandered off at the end of a night with a big stupid grin on my face, looking for the lads, and no way to hook up again. You won't always get one, sometimes you won't want one. But if you think you might, ask for hers or offer yours. And don't worry if it turns out to be a fake - It happens - Just the way it'll play out from time to time.
Come on people, the lads need some help and I'm really not that qualified to offer it!
Gil0 -
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Tar.Aldarion wrote:haha! sadly it's so true.guys suck at dancing but this is the way OP.It's what those girls i'v only ever heard tell of love!
great post gil!
Quite accurate.
Speak for yourself.. ^CwAzY^ knows how to bust a move
:v: 0 -
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High five compadre!^CwAzY^ wrote:Speak for yourself.. ^CwAzY^ knows how to bust a move :v:
Oh, and one more thing: Practice makes perfect.0 -
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Unregd128 wrote:I want to remain anonymous for this thread.
I am in college now, started 2 months ago. 18y/o male.
My problem is, surprise surprise, with gurls!
I worked my head off in secondary school and didn't really go out that much.
Bitof a loser I guess
Now I am in college i go out maybe 2-3 times every week. I probably went out 20 times so far.
I usually went to bars with dancefloors or nightclubs with a few of my mates.
Me and my friends aren't that experienced with going out and meeting gals.
This is embarassing but we wanted to know how to go about approaching girls in nightclub/bar situation.
On our usual nights out we would just dance and stick to our own, having a laugh.
But we have come to the conclusion that this has to end and we better start talking to random gurls!
So, any advice/tips, preferrably in a lot of detail would be appreciated. Like, how do you end up with a no. or a make out session by the end of the night?
(Like, we don't know who to approach...how do you guys know who are out to meet guys, who are out to there just to dance, etc...)
(How do you go about approaching a group of girls? When is a good time to approach?)
(How do guys just end up making out with girls they have just hooked up ten minutes ago? God, I just look up to them!)
Thanks.
J, L, K
Do start talking to random girls! Don't do it weirdly though..just say hello and stuff like 'hope youre having a nice night' and SMILE..plus..girls like guys that make them laugh..make an eejit of yourself in a humurous way..ie stupid dancing, just show you have confidence and dont care...thats always attractive 0 -
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gil_dub's post might look amazing here,but thats only because people dont know any better so cant argue with him
its alright but theres alot of things that would rarely work..
eg.
walking up to a total ride,asking her name and telling her yours then asking her to dance wont work..might work with uglier chicks but not the hot ones,why? because she can do better than dancing with the first chap that asks her,she gets asked to dance all the time, why would she be so enthusiastic about dancing with you?
you gotta know how to talk aswell :O
ever heard a girl say she wants a man thats in touch with his feelings? they arent lying,its just not what you thought instead of saying that the holiday was good,say why you liked it so much, women love that ****
il try answers your questions now
1. its usually pretty obvious in clubs,just signal them over to dance and see who goes to who..in other situations,bodylanguage
2. when u first see a bird you like,dont stare at her till she notices,try and make your eyes meet each others and hold it with her,give her a cheeky smile and dont stop till she does..this is your main indicator in a club whether a girl is up for it or not,if she holds,just walk right up to her and start dancin,get close to her when dancin and look into her eyes,if shes likin it just go in for the kill.....
think about it,you acidently make eye contact with a fat bird,you look away as quick as you can,same goes for them..
3.since you cant talk on the dance floor,you gotta do something funny to get in there good books.. my trademark move( ) is to bend over and use my ass to push into a group of birds..99% of the time they all crack there holes laughin or even push back with their ass...its all gravy when this happens
4.meh,all about your opinion
5.imo,openers have to be funny..if you make eye contact with a girl for a few seconds you could stroll over and say somethin like 'you gonna try chat me up or just keep starin?' but you have to say it as a joke ofcourse
6.absolutly anything,that she feels comfortable about..
7.as your dancin,just give her the look as if your lookin deep into her eyes,if shes doin the same,just go for it..its a club remember,she not trying to find the love of her life so will probably go for it even if she isnt mad about you
8.if she starts touchin you(anywhere,arms, waist..whatever) without you initiating it then she definitly wants it
9. whichever you prefer,bar/sitting you have to talk first and work yourself in with good conversation, on the dancefloor you eliminate the risk of saying something stupid and can usually get the score without sayin a word,but if you stick with her your gonna end up speaking sometime...
10. use above information to determine whether she wants it,when your about to go in for the kill,just look her in the eyes,look at her lips,and look back in her eyes...she'l know whats goin on..then just go for it..
read this: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=141989
will help you with all u need 0 -
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DAEDULUS wrote:3.since you cant talk on the dance floor,you gotta do something funny to get in there good books.. my trademark move( ) is to bend over and use my ass to push into a group of birds..99% of the time they all crack there holes laughin or even push back with their ass...its all gravy when this happens
WTF?! NO girl that I've have EVER met in my life likes a guy who does that. It is rude, obnoxious, irritating and smacks of immaturity and patheticness. If these girls laugh, they're laughing at you because they feel sorry for you as you're such a loser. If a guy does that to my friends, we push back alright, so hard that he goes flying and knows not to come near us again. Also, not only is it irritating, it can be painful too and cause accidents like the girls falling over or crashing into other people.
OP, my advice is to take Gil_Dub's advice. It's the best on this thread.0 -
ferdi wrote:be natural, dont start talking about kittens and flowers.
lol
nooooo kittens and flowers are all girls wanna talk about! heh 0 -
DAEDULUS wrote:3.since you cant talk on the dance floor,you gotta do something funny to get in there good books.. my trademark move( ) is to bend over and use my ass to push into a group of birds..99% of the time they all crack there holes laughin or even push back with their ass...its all gravy when this happens
dude, you have got to be kidding!!!! that is sooo annoying and reeks of immaturity. yeah, when we're pushing back with our asses, it's to try to get you away and out of our circle. do not know when this has ever worked on any girl i know. OP - warning!! do not follow this advice!!!!!
to the OP, as a girl myself, i'll just tell you what i like/don't like personally in guys that i've met in pub/club, whatever
GOOD:
1. personally, i prefer if i dance/talk to the guy first, for a little bit.... so even if you're dying to stick your tongue in her throat, relax. find out her name, if she's in college, what course, where she's living, how she's finding that...there's plenty to chat about in the first few minutes. or as has been said, the dancefloor isn't really the place for conversation, but you can just dance along beside her. don't be overly touchy-feely at this stage, but do express an interest, such as occasionally taking her hand and doing some funky move or something!
2. don't ask for a kiss...this may put her in an awkward situation if she doesn't want to and if she does, she may feel like that's all your after. trust me, you'll know when the time is right to land on her lips
3. be a gentleman...they may say chivalry is dead and girl power and all that but honestly there is nothing sweeter than a guy who is genuinely nice and caring...some of this is common sense but you'd be amazed the amount of guys who don't bother, such as, maybe offer to buy a drink - this really isn't hugely important, but if you're chatting to her at the bar it might be a nice opener - just a 'what are you drinking?'; if you're with her until the end of the night, wait with her until she gets her coat and/or finds her friends/gets a taxi/whatever you do, make sure she's getting home ok; offer your jacket if it cold and she hasn't got one, etc. Basically, act concerned even if you don't give a damn!!!!
4. my number one thing that i look for in a guy is someone who can make me smile. if i laugh, he's got me. this doesn't mean you go stupidly overboard on crap jokes, but do try your best to crack a smile on her face. take the piss out of something, even tease her slightly - i emphasise the slightly - don't slag the hole off her, but gently tease her in a flirty way.
5. if things are going well with her by the end of the night and you are interested, just say, 'any chance i could get your number? i'd like to see you again, if you're interested.' Chances are, if she's still with you at this stage she must be somewhat interested, good so far! take her number and do text/call the next day. my advice would be evening time, not too early to show desperateness, but not so late to show im-too-****-hot-to-text-you.
if she replies, well and good, if she doesn't, learn from your experience. honestly though, if she has been with you for a good part of the night she must have some interest!
BAD:
1. don't use stupid stupid cheesy chat ups. these include: 'all i can say is "wow!"' and 'is heaven missing an angel?' no matter how cute and flirty you think they are, THEY'RE NOT. Really,eye contact, a smile, a gentle approach and a 'Hey, hows it going! you having a good night?' is more natural and indicative of genuine bloke. go with it.
2. don't go in for the kill straight away, give it a minute. find out if she's got a tongue at least by asking her her name. or if you're on the dancefloor, bump 'n' grind for at least one or two songs before moving in close!
3. don't act the arrogant ape with your mates if they come over. do, by all means laugh with them or whatever, but throw her a 'knowing' look every now and then, just to remind her that you're still there, if you know what i mean.
4. if you are interested and you're pretty sure she's interested, for god's sake, don't go without asking her number!!! i know for a fact that no matter how interested i was in a guy i'd never ask for his number, that's just the way i am. but hell, go for it, ask her.
As for how to actually approach a girl, as has been said, if you're there with your mates, and shes with hers, and you happen to glance over and catch her eye, cool. look away and look back a few minutes later, catch her eye again, hold it for a bit longer, maybe smile or nod recognition at her. depending on your confidence at this stage you could go over and talk to her, or you could wait until you see her later on, maybe on her own. the only danger about this is you might not see her again later on or you might see her alright, but with some other dude! but if you're with your mates and she's with hers, there's no harm in all of ye gradually moving closer until ye can somehow join in her circle. of course, this helps if your mates fancy her mates!!! If ye are all shy, why not go dancing as a group, make sure you're beside the one you've been eyeing up and smile at her, or whatever.
If you do get rejected by a girl, and it will happen, don't get disheartened, just jump back up and go for it again with someone else, don't bother with her. And yes, sometimes when a girl says she has a boyfriend, she may actually be telling the truth (not always, but sometimes!!).
Since you're admitting you're lack of knowledge in this area it means you haven't picked up any bad habits yet - keep clean, be brave and good luck!0 -
DAEDULUS wrote:3.since you cant talk on the dance floor,you gotta do something funny to get in there good books.. my trademark move( ) is to bend over and use my ass to push into a group of birds..99% of the time they all crack there holes laughin or even push back with their ass...its all gravy when this happens
Please nobody do this. It will not work. Seriously.0 -
if you want to be more scientific about it, women like men who can talk to them.
if you think that talking to a women is a strange occurance, its not. men have managed it for a few hundred thousand years now, and we still seem to be procreating.
so, when you actually get the chance to chat to some chick in a pub (dont try and chat anyone up in a nightclub, unless you are going to ask them to dance. if they dance with you chances are, they will kiss you) why dont you make sure that you have some pre-prepared things to say so that you dont stutter away and think you look stupid
(by the way, did you know that most blokes fail with women, becuase they feel they look stupid? its true. most blokes will turn tail becuase they think they have said something stupid, when to be honest, women are just as nervous and mostly want to know what it is they are doing wrong that the cute fella they were talking to suddenly went green and dashed off leaving her on her own again....)
so, youre getting prepared with some great lines and things to say.
throw those away. they are stupid. no, really, trust me, your lines suck.
so what you want is to have a normal conversation with a woman, sound like a normal perons, and just be yourself.
you dont have to say things becuase you think thats what she wants to hear. say the things you actually mean, and if you are really stuck for conversation topics then try these...
films you have seen recently.
beer you like.
why is greenland called greenland when its pretty obviously covered in ice all year round?
what is the funniest thing on tv?
just how crap is the corrs new album?
have you ever posted on an internet bullitan board looking for advice on how to chat up men, coiz i have a funny story about it....
whats your favourite food.
oh god, the list is endless.
but...
and heres the kicker right.
it doesnt matter what you talk about.
what matters is that you get her to talk. ask her stuff. and listen. ask her about herself. take an interest. take ian interest in her as something other than just some sort of communal breeding vassel for you and your lab partner monkeys. treat her just like another human being, instead of some mystical sex goddess.
all she wants is to enjoy a beer, chat to people, have an entertaining night out and meet people. and if she meets someone that take an interest in her, chats with her, she will be interested in them. its really that easy.
believe it or not, not many people actually walk into a pub, score some chick in 10 minutes theyve never met before and then go home for rampant weasle monkey sex.
it just doesnt happen.
so, summary.
have conversation topics that are designed to make her chat about herself...
have a little confidence in yourself.
remember that women are as much afraid of being shot down as men.
if a women starts chatting to you and asking all about you, youd be happy someone was talking to you. women are also like that. they are happy you will chat with them.
and most importantly, any person can have any other person on this planet given the right situation. its true. i had a huge crush on the most beautiful women in my university 12 years ago. she was absolutely gorgeous, and i would have done anything to just be with her. now, im married to her
see, if i can do it, and most people here think i have a serious lack of social graces, then anyone can 0 -
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How do you get any girls if you keep making that face?DAEDULUS wrote: :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
Ten times in the one post.0 -
Okay, eight cups of coffee and a good feed later I'm all set to get back in the ring for round two. I've been watching this thread all day and to be honest, I've really enjoyed to varied advice and responses you've been getting lads.
Quick reminder to everyone at this point (if you don't mind me butting in again!) - Everyone's had to go through this during the fledgling stage of their adult life. There really aren't many things that are just 'wrong' and those that are, you'll already know about.
Everyone's take here is valid as far as I can see. There are too many different types of people, with different 'triggers' and turn-ons to rule anything out that's been mentioned. You just have to decide to be either a stand up good guy who's honestly interested in meeting girls/women (NOT a pushover) or else become a 'player' as per Daedelus' advice and only go for the notch on your bed-post.
Neither set of advice is 'wrong', even the whole thing about acting the idiot on the dance-floor. You just have to be aware that your REAL chance of success hangs in the balance if you decide to do this and from most peoples observations (mine included of course), you're unlikely to do very well if you start out by playing this game. Anyone who's ever been clubbing can remember a time when some drunken arse-wipe got in their face when all they wanted to do was have a good time. Now you *might* be lucky and find that rare type of girl who'd date Crusty the Clown....But is that who *you* want to be? Because the only people I've seen try this are professional idiots or Jocks (who most certainly AREN'T very popular in most social scenes)
Instead, I'd again recommend just being a decent bloke. Represent the majority of men by showing that we can have a good time, in the company of women, without just thinking about getting in whatever pair of knickers comes along first. Believe me (and everyone else here who's thinking it) when we say that just going for the kill is short-sighted at best and terminal in some cases if you mess with the wrong girls while playing 'man-slut' with them.
Meet girls the 'right' way and you become more than just you and your two mates out on the pull. You'll become a welcome friend and will be asked to join a bigger group when they go out for the night if you're lucky. That means you get an easier introduction to *their* friends and so on, without having to do anything but play by their rules. This gives you a great opportunity to familiarise yourself with the girls, what keeps 'em happy and interested and so on. You can then polish up your verbal skills and make some great friends while getting set for the next level of 'engagement', if you will.
Play your cards right and pay attention sunshine - You'll be up to your neck in good company, fun times and enough action to keep you reminiscing for years to come - All without being tagged as a desperate little pup with a horn on for anything resembling a member of the opposite sex.
Anyone else? Again?
Gil
BTW: If anyone comes up with that "Don't hate the player, hate the game" s*** I'll really take off the gloves.... 0 -
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its a character thing i guess,never EVER got a bad response unless it was a ugly chick who knew i was just taking the piss out of them ..probably only works for me because im a pretty funny person(according to people i know), and therefore most things unless it was ridiculous (like spitting in their face or something) would be sufficient to get a laugh since,humour is rarely what the people say,but how they say it..its all character and delivery,and therefore would only work for some...Also,I wasnt advising you to do this,as I see alot of tools do similar things and get nowhere,just giving an example of something that isnt common as muck..
also,would just like to add..theres alot of advice flyin around here about buying her drink and all the common things you see tv...
OP: im presuming you want to get with girls that would be considered above average..if so,you gotta realise that every other guy in the place is thinking the same thing,and are very likely to do the exact same things...walk up,buy drink,ask name...girls like this get bought drinks all the time,get asked their name all the time,and get bored of it..and leave with the drink as soon as you buy it for them...
you gotta seperate yourself from all the other gimps..and can do this a million differnet ways..eg. you could walk up and go,'you know if you buy me a drink you might get lucky tonight',chances are she'l laugh as long as you dont say it like a nervous turd...and if she buys you a drink..you cant really go wrong from there on..shes spent money on you,shes attracted to your confident,funny and slightly cocky attitude..Bobs your uncle 0 -
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if your pretty good-looking and are in the situation where you get bought drinks all the time,its just you,if your average or below...i understand..these things i say are dependant on the girls character...the hottest girls in night clubs are offered drinks all the time,and therefore have buckets of confidence..and when you strut up with your **** eating smile and dish out a comment like that,she wont know what hit her because she is basically thinking the exact same thing..bar the getting lucky bit (these girls actually ask you to buy them a drink when you first meet them alot of the time,and sadly most guys comply
)...this kind of thing requires balls,and if you say it right..she will rate you higher than all the other saps that waste their money on her 0 -
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So_Cute wrote:Oh dear.
I'll let you in on a little secret... women usually kiss a different guy on the dancefloor every time they go to a club. That means NOTHING TO A GIRL. Meanwhile the lad thinks he's a player because he just kissed a girl on the dancefloor. If I dress a monkey up and disguise him as a human he will score on the dancefloor.
What club is this ? 0 -
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