What to do?

LegacyUser

I broke up with my girlfriend 4 weeks ago and for three of them week's she was askin me to get back with her.
i was saying no cause i didnt think the relationship was right
We were together for two years and in that time we done nothing but fight,
Dont get me wrong we didnt fight all the time, I have some great memories with her but she was very controlling.
After a couple of months she started to get really controlling, I wasnt allowed to go out with out her so i didnt see my friends for months at a time, but it was a different story when she wanted to go out, she just went out whenever she felt like it.
Here's the problem, in the last few days i've started to really miss her, we have stayed in contact the last month and i have stayed at hers at least once a week(much more sometimes) and we have slept together most times i have stayed there,
I asked her a couple of days ago can we talk and see if we can work something out but she replied no were finished and thats it even though she texts me about fifty times a day and gets annoyed when i dont answer straightaway.
I get very lonely when i'm not around her even though i see friends most days.
Has she been using me the last few weeks for company or is she playing games with me now?

dundalk cailin

it sounds like she's using u now at this stage, she can text u when ever she wants cos she knows your gonna reply, but yet when u text her, she says no we're finished..its a messy breakup, u need to break contact from her, cos she's just usin u now (she texts u and gets annoyed at no reply, when u text tryin to be mature, she says no)
Just out of interest what age are the 2 of you?

LegacyUser

i'm 23, she's 20
It's easier said than done breaking all contact
Like i said i get lonely and end up texting her or meeting her

LegacyUser

forgot to mention that this is the first time that i've been single since i was sixteen
i was with a girl for 4 years from 16 then got with my ex and have been with her up until now,
i know everyones probably going to say be single for a while but it is hard!

MadMoss

dundalk cailin wrote:

it sounds like she's using u now at this stage, she can text u when ever she wants cos she knows your gonna reply, but yet when u text her, she says no we're finished..its a messy breakup, u need to break contact from her, cos she's just usin u now (she texts u and gets annoyed at no reply, when u text tryin to be mature, she says no)

I agree, make the spilt a clean one, it's best for both parties.
I reckon neither of you have really come to terms with the end of the relationship, why are u still hanging out together?

mayordenis

runsies . . . quickly too.

LegacyUser

MadMoss wrote:

I agree, make the spilt a clean one, it's best for both parties.
I reckon neither of you have really come to terms with the end of the relationship, why are u still hanging out together?

i know i haven't come to terms with the end of the relationship,
I might be only young in a lot of people's eyes but i still had strong feelings for this girl
To be honest i dont think she's come to terms with the relationship ending either and i think thats why we keep in contact but i'm starting to get the feeling i'm just a bit of company, for instance she text me last night saying that she'll always love me but we just dont get on but from experience i know that you cant always love someone so why do girls say it to you?

ratboy

haha, must suck to be you.

Heyes

ratboy wrote:

haha, must suck to be you.

your horrible

ratboy

Heyes wrote:

your horrible

nobody asked for your opinion kid, so **** off.

Heyes

ratboy wrote:

nobody asked for your opinion kid, so **** off.

what a mature responce...and kid i am not.. so grow up boy !

Zillah

*rubs hands with glee*

You're so getting banned...


Anyway, to the OP, you really should make a clean break, she sounds like a disaster.

Heyes

Zillah wrote:

*rubs hands with glee*

You're so getting banned...


Anyway, to the OP, you really should make a clean break, she sounds like a disaster.

who is ?

yermandan

Bud,she is definately using you.Break ups are hard no matter what the circumstance and it sounds like you just stayed with her for the sake of it considering how controlling she is.
Just like what you had together was very unhealthy,the situation now is even more unhealthy.
When you spend so much time with someone you automatically become very attached and when that person aint around anymore you mentally and physically want them to be there because its like an addiction that you need to get over.

My advice is to absolutely tell her that you need a TOTAL break in contact with her.Expect all the names under the sun to be hurled at you,followed my mucho manipulation in the form of being reminded of all the great times you guys had.

At this stage its obvious to us that she is using you but for you, because you are in the situation,you cannot see the wood for the trees.

So just tell her that over means OVER.Eventually you will be able to look back on the situation from an impartial viewpoint..

Take care

dan;)

dundalk cailin

these arent really helpful to the OP, if you have no helful advice u shouldnt bother postin at all!!

yermandan

Heyes wrote:

who is ?

Ratboy is because of abusive and unhelpful posting that has nothing to do with the issue at hand.

yermandan

dundalk cailin wrote:

these arent really helpful to the OP, if you have no helful advice u shouldnt bother postin at all!!

*sobs*

i really put alot of thought into that post.....:p

porno

no point not usin my username on this anymore cos only a couple of people know me on this board
i have replied to a couple of people already tonight but my posts havent come up yet(mod probably has to check them)
im takin in wat everyone is sayin but no matter how much advise ive been given by people i always end up goin back to her(weve broken up a few times) and i just wanna know how i can stop feelin like i have to go back cause im bored/lonely or whatever
i have told her i need a break and dont wanna keep in touch wit her and she gets pissed off when i say that
maybe the feelings are still there on her side or maybe she is using me
dunno wat to do to be honest

yermandan

porno wrote:

no point not usin my username on this anymore cos only a couple of people know me on this board
i have replied to a couple of people already tonight but my posts havent come up yet(mod probably has to check them)
im takin in wat everyone is sayin but no matter how much advise ive been given by people i always end up goin back to her(weve broken up a few times) and i just wanna know how i can stop feelin like i have to go back cause im bored/lonely or whatever
i have told her i need a break and dont wanna keep in touch wit her and she gets pissed off when i say that
maybe the feelings are still there on her side or maybe she is using me
dunno wat to do to be honest

She IS using you bro.I told you that you will get the abuse when you try to cut all contact but you have to grin and bear it.

Ultimately its you that has to be strong enough to say enough is enough because it sounds like unless you put your foot down BIG TIME, she will continue to use you and leave you all messed up afterwards.

As regards wanting to stop feeling like you have to get back with her because you are lonely or bored, again you have to be man enough to fight both the boredom and the lonliness and realise that staying in contact with her IS gonna do you more harm than good.

Best of luck man...

Read all of these replys from everyone untill it is clear in your mind..

dan;)

dundalk cailin

yermandan wrote:

*sobs*

i really put alot of thought into that post.....:p

ur post hadnt come up when i was posting

porno

thats why i posted it here, to get some unbiased opinions
think i'll have to change my sim or somethin but this is a samll town,see her out all the time
didnt go out tonight cos i knew i would and when i see her out she showboats in front of me wit everyone
we have a lot of the same friends too but im sure that will change in time

Zillah

Now this might sound extreme...but I think it'll work if not getting back with her is too hard.

Get really drunk.
Start a conversation with her.
Insult her as much as you can as the filthy whore that she is.

Afterwards, you won't be able to get back with her no matter how hard you try.

Its not conventional, and she'll be really insulted, but it'll work.

Setun

Nice........ eh.........advice, zillah? That's the talk of a city slicker if ever I heard one. Seriously I say fuhgeddaboudit, she's not really worth going back to if she's causing you any turmoil. If she's having a negative aspect on your life, leave her because you don't need negativity.

BeardyGit

Just so y'all know - Ratboys login was hijacked by his bro.

Airblazer

Gil_Dub wrote:

Just so y'all know - Ratboys login was hijacked by his bro.

really??? cause this sounds like the way ratboy always carry on..

Nevyn

ratboy 1 Week ban from PI,
The rest of you back on top or there will be further bannings.
Do read the charter.
Thaedydal