how to tell if bf's lying?

supernova

Have been seeing a guy for a year. Things were going pretty well. I told him I loved him - and he didn't say it back. That was ok - but we had an argument recently and I think he said he loved me just so I didn't dump him. I know he's told his friends that he misses his ex girlfriend, and he's lied to me about that. How can I tell if he's lying?

omb0wyn5ehpij9

You can't tell if he's lying i'm afraid, unless it is very obvious. You need to sit down and have a chat with him and asked him straight out

Laguna

Hmm, who told you he told his friends that he missed his ex girlfriend?, them?

azezil

How can you say you love him if you don't trust him, and after a year you don't?? sounds to me like you're just wasting your time there dear.

BeardyGit

To be honest there's nothing wrong with missing an ex. Just as long as he has no intentions of trying to revisit old stomping grounds. His friends, your friends, whoever the hell's been mouthing off - They have no right to go talking to you about what he's said to them in confidence. Have some respect for your relationship and for your boyfriend and put these people in their place. Tell them you appreciate their concerns and that you've noted what they've said but that you don't think it's their place to betray your boyfriends confidences. Take it up with him (in a completely honest and non-threatening manner preferably) to let him know that people he thinks he can trust to keep their mouths shut about private conversations he's had with them are either spreading rumours (for whatever reasons) or talking about his business to you....And that you'd rather not hear it from anyone else. But again, realise that it *is* his business, not yours. If he was talking to them about breaking up with you, then you've an interest. But his feeling about his ex are just that, his feelings and his ex. You don't play a part in that, no matter how much you or your friends think you do.

Now, being a little more positive I would point out the following:

Even if he's saying he loves you and not really sounding like he means it, or saying it at a time where you've a certain amount of reasoning to question his motive, doesn't mean he doesn't really love you. With lots of guys (I'm like this too) they'll tell you in other ways. A look, a smile, an act, a gift out of the blue. These are all ways that a lad will tell you he loves you without saying those words. Now I've use such things to complement telling my special girl that I loved her. But a lot of guys just aren't up to saying it out loud.....It's just the way we work. So, if you're in any doubt about it, watch and see if he shows you that he loves you (or at least really cares about you and thinks you're hot!). In many ways, it's much better than just hearing the words rattled off at the end of a night out or worse still, at the end of every phone call.

Go have a chat with him when you're in good form and don't be worrying about what others are saying. If you put it all in perspective, you'll see that you're probably in the best position to know what he really thinks or at least to ask him and get an honest reaction. For the answer to your question "How do you tell if he's lying?" in four easy words: Look at his eyes.

Gil

sideFX

supernova wrote:

Have been seeing a guy for a year. Things were going pretty well. I told him I loved him - and he didn't say it back. That was ok - but we had an argument recently and I think he said he loved me just so I didn't dump him. I know he's told his friends that he misses his ex girlfriend, and he's lied to me about that. How can I tell if he's lying?

You don't wanna imho. Dump him. Sometimes harder to do than being dumped. But dealing with rejection is worse than the other way round.

Seriously, do you really wanna be with someone you doubt?

Shouldn't be that way. I know people miss ex's an all, its only natural, but it's over a year now.

Listen to your gut, not your head! Your head will lie and decieve you your gut won't

dudara

I think that it's OK to be curious about a partner's past, but you can't let it dominate you or make you insecure. You need to talk to him, and look for the clear picture.

After that talk, if you think that he's still hiding something from you, you can make your mind as to what to do

LegacyUser

You have been with him for a year! You must know ehere you are in this relationship by now!
Do you love him? Are you in love with him? Are you happy? Can you see yourself being with him in a years time? 10 years time?

It doesn't sound like your madly inlove with this guy, or vice versa, maybe its best to let it go!??

OrangeOranges

Cher voice: "It's in his kisssssss!"

neacy69

how to tell if he's lying? check to see if his lipos are moving....if they are he's probably lying!

Nevyn

OrangeOranges and neacy69 unhelpful posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do read the charter for th erules for posting here.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Kobayashi

Gil_Dub wrote:

Look at his eyes.

Correct. Did some body language training a while back and when someone is lying, they tend to look down to the side. Unfortunately I cannot remember if it is the left or right!! Left I think. Irrespective, he probably won't be able to look you in the eye when he's lying.

sideFX

Kobayashi wrote:

Irrespective, he probably won't be able to look you in the eye when he's lying.

Good liars will. They know all the tricks of the trade.

AARRRGH

supernova wrote:

How can I tell if he's lying?

Sounds like you're being paranoid or highly insecure. And IMO he probably doesn't really love you yet. And you probably don't really love him. You just think you do. Especially if you were going to dump him, but changed your mind because he said he loved you. Sounds strange to me!

How can you tell he's lying?

Well, I read about this technique once. You get your boyfriend to lie about something you defo know he will lie about (I'm sure you can think of something.) Watch exactly what his eyes do as he is lying (do they move to the right? do they move away from you? etc etc.) Do this a few times until you can see a pattern in the way his eyes move when he lies (of course, he may show some other obvious body language as well.)

When you know what he does when he lies, ask him if he loves you.

BTW, if he doesn't love you after one year, I wouldn't be worried. It means he's not a bull****ter when it comes to his emotions.

nobodythere

If he has gone out with you for a whole year while still not being over his ex-girlfriend, he already has lied to you.

woolymammoth

check out this link.

the trick then is to figure out how to use it, like saying, "remember when you said you loved me?"..

condra

I told him I loved him - and he didn't say it back. That was ok

He still misses his x after a year with you and wont tell you he loves you? I think you should put him under some pressure to express his true feelings for you.
You sound fairly worried, and perhaps insecure, but insecurity is normal and if youre going out with an insecure person you should have the decency to reassure them, and give them reason to feel secure!

WhiteWashMan

supernova wrote:

Have been seeing a guy for a year. Things were going pretty well. I told him I loved him - and he didn't say it back. That was ok - but we had an argument recently and I think he said he loved me just so I didn't dump him. I know he's told his friends that he misses his ex girlfriend, and he's lied to me about that. How can I tell if he's lying?

im sure he hasnt discussed the situation with the ex becuase some people just dont like discussing their past with their present!
i had an ex who refused to hear anything about any other person i had been with. she seemed to think they were competition or something.

perhaps you both need to just communicate more. it seems that neither of you tell each other anything.
at 1 year, i would have told my partner everything about my ex partners, good and bad.

why not just go out for a meal and chat about your past. if you or he cant handle that, then youre probably not really ready to commit to a long term relationship tbh.

faceman

u'll have to catch him out OP. get a mate to try it on with him n see what happens. Dont bottle anything up tho in the meantime, not worth the stress!