is this thread really ok?

CuLT

Nietzschean wrote:

Find myself agree'n with TheGrinch aswell....if it had stayed somewhat civilised then like leave it alone. But threading on what is a sensitive topic for most n then just pissing on it are quite different...


As for the thing of people taking the piss out of it in the pub...i don't know who you hang around with..but anytime i've ever been in a pub bring'n up a death where some people would know the person would be a sober topic for all....

Agreed, "LOL I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT!" is not the first thing that springs to mind in conversations about death amongst acquaintances.

WhiteWashMan

TheGrinch_000 wrote:

Oh really? care to share some? i'd disagree with you on that point tbh, i'd say if you said to stop because its a serious conversation, most people would have teh cop on and decorum to stop.
?

but not all. my point was that you can expect a lot of different answers to a question. you may not like them all, but thats your problem, or anyones problem, its not specifically aimed at you...

TheGrinch_000 wrote:

Also, that thread changes very very quickly depending on whether its taken seriously or not, - i don't think it is a case of being more tolerant in that situation. If it was your bog standard bull**** AH thread and i'd done the same thing then i'd agree with you, i should have been more tolerant, however do you honestly think its right for all the bull**** that there is in that thread?

but AH is not a 'serious' forum. its ok for topics to meander, go off topic, have rubbish posted in them.
thats what its there for. thats what it was created for.

whether its right or not is not an issue. whether it breaks the rules or not is.
it doesnt break any of the rules for AH.
im sorry, but the 'i dont like it, therefore i will try and justify it as some sort of abomination' argument just wont work.

WhiteWashMan

CuLT wrote:

Agreed, "LOL I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT!" is not the first thing that springs to mind in conversations about death amongst acquaintances.

and if you wanted a high brow conversation, what were you doing in AH?

Crash

justify it? i'm not trying to justify anything, i'm just expressing my opinion on that thread.

first off, for how long has boards been trying to build up and maintain a sense of community? in dealing with a thread like that, any user mentioned is pretty much bound to be known by a fair few posters and even good friends with one or two - so is it right to deal with the issue like that there?

I'm sorry but i personally dont see the "ah **** it, its in AH, if it doesnt do anything specifically against the rules it'll be fine" justification as being right at all, in fact i think its total bull.

Boston

^CwAzY^ wrote:

TheGrinch is just annoyed because he got banned.. would this thread even be here if he didn't get banned? Whether the thread stays or not is the mods decision to make at the end of the day, not yours TheGrinch.. I wasn't taking the piss when I started it, if you read the first post I said I was "just curious".

Your Signature is too big please change it.

WhiteWashMan

TheGrinch_000 wrote:

justify it? i'm not trying to justify anything, i'm just expressing my opinion on that thread.

first off, for how long has boards been trying to build up and maintain a sense of community? in dealing with a thread like that, any user mentioned is pretty much bound to be known by a fair few posters and even good friends with one or two - so is it right to deal with the issue like that there?

I'm sorry but i personally dont see the "ah **** it, its in AH, if it doesnt do anything specifically against the rules it'll be fine" justification as being right at all, in fact i think its total bull.

and youre entitled to your opinion

Crash

WhiteWashMan wrote:

and youre entitled to your opinion

:rolleyes:

nesf

Hobart wrote:

I have to agree with you on this. I wonder if somebody started a thread with the Subjact line "How many boards women have been raped?" or "How many boards people have been sexually abused" would the same "tolerance" be applied. The thread is beyond very bad taste imo.

You know, he decided to try out that theory. Guess where that got him.

WhiteWashMan

TheGrinch_000 wrote:

:rolleyes:

but thats what youre expressing!

youre telling me that we should lose the thread becuase you believe that its not appropriate.

everything you have said is your opinion.

dont try and give me a rolling eyes smilie because youve given your opinion and i dont agree with it.

at the end of the day, the thread is nothing more than a stupid thread that you dont agree with. nothing more, nothing less. if people get offended by it, then they should perhaps not read it.
after all, i dont go into threads on hunting, debate the matter and then ask for them to be shut becuase i dont agree with hunting.
i dont argue that threads with people complaining they cant get a girlfriend should be binned becuase i am annoyed that the same thread exists 20 times on the PI forum.

youve given your opinion, and youre entitled to it. im not going to argue your opinion. its yours. keep it.
again, your annoyance and irritation at a thread is not justification for its removal.
and giving me a roll eyes for pointing it out is pretty childish.
just accept that it wont be removed becuase you dont like it.

Hobart

nesf wrote:

You know, he decided to try out that theory. Guess where that got him.

I have no idea what you are refering too.

WhiteWashMan

he posted up a thread with a poll asking who on boards.ie had been sexually abused.
he was banned by Nesf, and the thread deleted by me

Crash

And it was my opinion that your reply to mine was rather childish as well, so i honestly wasnt arsed giving it a proper reply basically wwm. Hell if you can try and make your point with a smiley, then i think my :rolleyes: was perfectly valid.

Hobart: ^CwAzY^ started a thread on AH entitled "how many boards users have been sexually abused" - it was promptly deleted and he was banned by nesf, as is my understanding of things.

Hobart

WhiteWashMan wrote:

he posted up a thread with a poll asking who on boards.ie had been sexually abused.
he was banned by Nesf, and the thread deleted by me

IC

Rabies

A thread asking were any boards members abused was created by Cwazy.
Nesf deleted the thread and banned him/her/it

WhiteWashMan

TheGrinch_000 wrote:

And it was my opinion that your reply to mine was rather childish as well, so i honestly wasnt arsed giving it a proper reply basically wwm. Hell if you can try and make your point with a smiley, then i think my :rolleyes: was perfectly valid..

i didnt make a point with a smilie, i indicated humour.
the point was still there with the 'youre entitled to your opinion' line.
the smilie merely indicated that i wasnt being facetious about it.

other than that, there isnt much to more to add i think.

CuLT

WhiteWashMan wrote:

and if you wanted a high brow conversation, what were you doing in AH?

Ah, so AH has become the refuge of the weak-minded.

I remember having interesting and thought-provoking discussion there at one point.

WhiteWashMan

CuLT wrote:

Ah, so AH has become the refuge of the weak-minded.

I remember having interesting and thought-provoking discussion there at one point.

no, nor am i saying that it is completely full of rubbish.

but like i said, if you want high brow debates, is it actually the forum you would go to?
or would you head to humanities?

i agree, sometimes there are some interesting topics in there, and sometimes there are not.
sometimes there are some intense debates in there, and sometimes the thread is full of inane remarks.

but thats not really the point of this thread.

halenger

I didn't like this thread from the moment that I saw it. Something about the original posting just sounded too casual (or some word I can't find) when referencing Mark. I never knew him that well but it still wrenches at my gut thinking back (and re-reading his last blog entries). I don't care if this seems irrelevent. I just want to post it.

Is "it's AH after all" really a valid reason for something like that to decend to humour? I'll admit I seldomly read AH, possibly for good reason, but I can't agree that just because it's AH is a valid enough reason for people to start taking the piss out of something that hits so close to home. I'm sure threads similar to this hit close to home for other people but this is aimed specifically at the boards.ie community. So how about a bit more respect and taking it a bit more seriously?

solas

sorry to hear you folks lost a friend, many of us are new to the site and are not familiar with the older members (I haven't participated in the ah thread), it's only natural to expect people to be curious about the subject but it would be nice if it could be dealt with tactfully.
I remember last year someone proposed a sort of memorial to boardsies who had passed on but it wasn't considered suitable at the time.
For what it's worth I'm offering this post in memory of all the boardsies who are no longer with us.
~i~

WhiteWashMan

halenger wrote:

Is "it's AH after all" really a valid reason for something like that to decend to humour?

no one is using 'its AH after all' for a thread to decend into humour.

I simply mentioned that AH is not exactly reknowned for its high brow conversation.

halenger wrote:

I'll admit I seldomly read AH, possibly for good reason, but I can't agree that just because it's AH is a valid enough reason for people to start taking the piss out of something that hits so close to home.

but this is the same argument as the grinch had. thats your opinion, and its subjective. many people use humour as their own defence mechanism for dealing with death. now, im not suggesting that any or all of the replies are a defence mechanism, but at the same time, its not against the rules to take the mickey out of things. even if it does rub you or me up the wrong way.

halenger wrote:

. I'm sure threads similar to this hit close to home for other people but this is aimed specifically at the boards.ie community. So how about a bit more respect and taking it a bit more seriously?

you cant demand that people start to have respect for things, just because you do. nor can you demand that people take things more seriously.
thats just being intolerant.

should i start telling people not to drink becuase my friend died from a drunken hit and running. should i tell comedians not to make drink driving jokes becuase it reminds me of what has happened? perhaps we can remove the motors forum, and the wine beer and spirits forum?
perhaps the humour forum as well, just in case someone posts up something i dont like becuase it reminds me?

if you dont like it, then fine. its been noted, and you have said your piece.

by the way, you never actually suggested what should be done with the thread, just that you didnt like it.

Crash

WhiteWashMan wrote:

perhaps the humour forum as well, just in case someone posts up something i dont like becuase it reminds me?

No, but if its deemed tasteless it'll generally be locked or deleted on there.

halenger

I was posting my opinion. That's it thus lack of suggestions for it. I've no interest in debating it or dealing with the thread. That's your job, not mine. I felt the need to say my piece on the matter. Also, I never said such a thread shouldn't be allowed either, just that people could do with being more sensitive - and I realize that's their problem, not yours per se.

WhiteWashMan

really?
ive seen some pretty tasteless jokes there.

but thats not the point.

as regi told me the last time i said a thread should be locked becuase i didnt like the content, 'boards.ie is not a moral compass'.

and i agree.

i think i can see past my own personal opinion and distaste for certain subjects and be a little more subjective, so now i dont lock things that are personally distasteful to me.

but i do think that if whever died hadnt been mentioned, this thread would not be here, and you probably would have rolled your eyes at the poster and not even read to the bottom of the first page.
there is still no valid reason to remove the thread, which i assume is what you still want.

WhiteWashMan

halenger wrote:

I was posting my opinion. That's it thus lack of suggestions for it. I've no interest in debating it or dealing with the thread. That's your job, not mine. I felt the need to say my piece on the matter. Also, I never said such a thread shouldn't be allowed either, just that people could do with being more sensitive - and I realize that's their problem, not yours per se.

and thats ok.
usualy though you get people telling you that they dont like something and demand something be done about it.

sorry, most of my thread was not aimed at you or anyone.
i tend to take snippets and discuss.

and yes, i completely agree that comments could be more sensitive, but its not my job to tell people how to post. so i tend to ignore them.

Crash

Its what i still feel is right, but at the moment its past the first page so will most likely not be resurrected, which i'm happy about. but i still feel the thread should have been closed, which can be seen by the fact that i reported the thread despite the fact that i was gonna get banned even faster that way.

Shabadu

Halenger wrote:

Something about the original posting just sounded too casual (or some word I can't find)

glib? That's what it struck me as.

WhiteWashMan

TheGrinch_000 wrote:

Its what i still feel is right, but at the moment its past the first page so will most likely not be resurrected, which i'm happy about. but i still feel the thread should have been closed, which can be seen by the fact that i reported the thread despite the fact that i was gonna get banned even faster that way.

thats fine.

but i wont shut a thread becuase someone doesnt like the content.
even if that person is me.

its the same reason i wont ban someone unless they have done something worth banning for.

and i only banned you because someone reported you. i actually wasnt reading the thread!

WhiteWashMan

Shabadu wrote:

glib? That's what it struck me as.

and i would have said flippant myself.

stevenmu

TheGrinch_000 wrote:

No, but if its deemed tasteless it'll generally be locked or deleted on there.

I've no real say in the matter, but I'm strongly opposed to locking threads based on taste. Part of the reason for this is that taste varies from person to person. There'll always be someone who can be offended by pretty much any topic. Along with this, everybody responds to death differently, when a close friend of mine died a few years back after being hit by a car I can remember joking 'I always knew he'd be killed in a car accident, I just thought he'd be the one driving'. From many of the posts here, I think a lot of people would find that hugely offensive, but, I didn't realise at the time that his mother was standing behind me, and she found it funny too.

It's a pity the thread didn't live up to it's potential, it could have been nice for people to share their memories of boardsies who've passed on, and given the statistics mentioned above, along with the amount of people here who talk about depression and suicide, I'm sure there'd be plenty of them. But things don't always work out the way the could, or should.

Tar.Aldarion

Hmm I don't see anything wrong with it apart from people taking the piss and some people would find it offensive, no reason for it to be lockred if you find it offensive. Things remind me every day of friends that have died from suicide, car accidents, cancer etc even that thread has reminded me of poeple. Personally I want to remember people even if it hurts. They were my friends and I want to be reminded..
I don't even mind people taking the piss on the thread. It doesn't upset me, all that does is the actual death of the person.
If somebody makes a joke about cancer, road accident or a relative dying it doesn't affect me, I still find them funny, if they are humorous that is.
Franky I think people are two sensitive,in my opinion, cop on, remember your friend and don'r blame anybody for making you remember them.
The fact that somebody died that you love should tear you apart not some little meaningless comment. If it bothers you just ignore it.
Too many people have killed themselves through depression etc for some little comment to be 'offensive' to me, no reason to lash out at somebody you would deem to be a little harsh.
sorry,rambling...
Anyway I for one am glad that things remind me of dead friends.