Young Parents

deisemum

When it saw the title of the thread I expected this topic about a teenage pregnancy.

Although I was 31 and 33 when I had mine I wouldn't consider early 20's as young.

I don't think people will judge your friend, unlike what girls like a sister of mine had to endure back in the 80's.

My sister was 15 when she had my nephew back in 1984 and she was one of the rare single girls in the area to keep her baby. Back then there were a lot of shotgun weddings or the girl went off, had the baby then had it put up for adoption.

Our family supported my sister and the whole family got an awful lot of negitive comments over it. My mother informed the school who assured her that it would be kept private until my sister left school, however the next day the local priest came into her class and gave a talk on the evils of sex before marriage and that one of the classmates was pregnant, He didn't mention her name but kept staring at her so everyone knew. The following Sunday the family had to endure more of the same in the sermon.

Thank God times have changed. Tell her to enjoy her pregnancy and not to worry about being judged. If she is happy about it then that's what matters,

rainbow kirby

TBH, I think that if the parents feel ready and capable of raising a child, then that's the right age. My mother, grandmother and great-grandmother were each 21 at the time their first child was born... which seems incredibly young to me now (I'm 21 now, and the thought of having a kid at this age scares the crap out of me but I'd like to have one before I'm 30), but I can also see how it's well suited to my mother, she's 43 now with a 21 year old, a 18 year old and a 13 year old and has been back in the workforce for about 6 years now. She's glad that she's got all the running around after little kids done at this stage, especially when she sees friends of hers who are around the same age, but have very young children.

masteroftherealm

Im definity in agreement that when i saw this i was expecting 14-15year old girl. Nope thats a grand age not too younng not too old.
But tell her shell soon realise who her true friends are.

deisemum

Just to add that my mother was just 21 (10 days before) when she had me, she had 9 of us in total and was almost 41 when she had the youngest.

She always maintained that there were both advantages and disadvantages whatever age she had a child.

I wouldn't worry too much about age, after all what if you don't meet someone by a certain age that you may have in the back of your mind that you'd like to have a child. At the end of the day it has a lot to do with your attitude and maturity.

ThiiinkPink!

FoXXy wrote:

A friend of mine recently found out she's pregnant. At the age of 22

I became pregnant with my first at your friends age, and had a second two years on. To be honest, I'am glad I didn't have them any earlier. I wouldnt have been mature enough for it. I dont say that in a patronizing manner, because some younger moms manage just fine. then the older mothers can be
too set in their ways, and quite frankly exhausted because they've put their energies into careers before-hand.

There are health benefits to both mother and child, to child-bear in your twenties of course. I had to have both of my kids delievered by c/s, and I would not have been able to do that much later in life. It knocked me for six, after two heavyish born kids I'd gained alot of weight too. Its easier to get rid of the extra weight the earlier its done too.. generally.
(Thank god I've gotten rid of mine!)


As for what people would say - its not so much of a problem as it was years ago. of course my mam was trying to run me down the aisle :rolleyes:

Both of my kids birthdays are next month, they will be 2 & 4 - and they are happy and healthy.

I hope your friend has a wonderful pregnancy Foxxy, tis a very special time

frobisher

FoXXy wrote:

A friend of mine recently found out she's pregnant. At the age of 22 she's not that young but her main fear is how people will view her. I've tried to convince her that society has moved on a bit from judging young parents and sending them away but she wont listen to me about it. SO what are your views? Do we still as a country look down on young parents or have we accepted the fact yet?

The answer here is very simple. It's not a question of how people view her but the fact that she cares in the first place. She shouldn't. I was 19 when my kid was born, it's something you get over after a while.
Best of luck to her!!

brown*eyed*girl

I had my first child when I was 17 and my second when I was 27 :eek: First time around was on my own (split with the bf when pregnant) and second time was in a loving relationship. Can honestly say I was just as good a Mammy first time round, if not better, than the second time round. Once the maternal instinct kicks in and you see you're little bundle you will be ok. Don't worry about what anyone thinks just look after yourself and your child. Best of luck. You have so much to look forward to. My two angels are the best thing to ever happen to me.

Ickle Magoo

I don't think there is an ideal age to have a baby....but certainly in your twenties is perfect for a lot of the reasons already mentioned....it's going to be hard work & one of the most fantastic experiences of your friends' life be she 18 or 38 or whatever.....if anyone else has a problem with her age or circumstances then that is their small mindedness and frankly, it's no-one else's business to pass comment on!

My parents were distraught at becoming grandparents as they thought they were far too young.....and I was in my late 20's!! lol! Best of luck to your friend