Men and Porn

LegacyUser

Right for starters I know majority of men have porn or even all perhaps.
I'm living with my boyfriend and I know he must have some but denys it! (must think I'm a wally)

Anyway my questions is if men look at porn and masturbate a lot does this mean any less of their girlfriend.

Im just curious really as I can't talk about stuff like that with him since he can't admit it

TKS

PeterGriffen

No, it doesn't mean that they aren't satisfied with their girlfriends. It's just a quick fix for when a guy is feeling horny and his girlfriend either isn't in the mood or isn't there at the time. He doesn't prefer the porn girls to his girlfriend, he is just looking at their body parts. The only time you should worry is if he starts preferring to w@nk over porn than have sex with you.

xzanti

If you both have a healthy sex life I dont see any harm.. If on the other hand you are being neglected due to his little hobby then its a problem imo

joejoem

xzanti wrote:

If you both have a healthy sex life I dont see any harm.. If on the other hand you are being neglected due to his little hobby then its a problem imo

Of course it is, but if you wanted to share it with him you could incorporate it into your sex lives. It doesnt nececarally have to be sleazy.

xzanti

joejoem wrote:

Of course it is, but if you wanted to share it with him you could incorporate it into your sex lives. It doesnt nececarally have to be sleazy.

Good idea.. Condom Power here I come

J.R.HARTLEY

just curious wrote:

I'm living with my boyfriend and I know he must have some but denys it! (must think I'm a wally)
TKS

here's an idea instead of worrying about porn, worry about trust issues, you just said you think he's a liar

LegacyUser

J.R.HARTLEY wrote:

here's an idea instead of worrying about porn, worry about trust issues, you just said you think he's a liar

I never said I think he's a liar!

AARRRGH

just curious wrote:

Anyway my questions is if men look at porn and masturbate a lot does this mean any less of their girlfriend.

Well maybe he doesn't look at porn!

Sure, nearly all men like it, but it doesn't mean they look at it...

But assuming he does and is too embarrassed to admit it, it really means nothing. His love/devotion to you/attraction to you is totally unrelated to his **** preferences...

BoozyBabe

Wouldn't bother me!
He can look, but he can't touch, is my motto.

Like someone else said:- if he starts choosing porn, pamela & her 5 sisters over you, then you've reason to be concerned, but not before hand.

Do you ever drool over a hot male calendar, or something like that?
Doesn't make you think any less of your bf, does it????

Harmless fun imo.

TerrorFirmer

Its not a big deal. It definately doesn't mean he finds you lacking in any way.

Also, not all men have porn! I dont for the record, if you want to believe me, you can....!

Canis Lupus

I know a few guys who have no porn.

And no, a guy having pron doesn't mean he thinks any less of you.

shakaman

Right well I'll happily admit to having porn but that doesn't mean i found any of my ex's lacking in that department! Unlike some of the liars on this thread

Fellas sometimes just need some 'me' time! And after all we tend to be hornier than females anyway!

PeterGriffen

Yeah, quite often the guys sex drive will be higher than the womans, so instead of moaning at her and getting frustrated, or worse, shagging someone else, it's better to just get the porn out for some......erm.... light relief.

J.R.HARTLEY

just curious wrote:

I never said I think he's a liar!

as good as darlin, what do you mean to imply when you state that you don't believe what your boyfriend tells you,
if you think he's not telling the truth, you therefore think hes lieing

D

I don't have any porn. Don't get me wrong I have seen porn but it just wasn't mine. Honestly I doesn't do that much for me. I prefer the real thing. Have you ever considered that your boyfriend doesn't actually have porn? I don't think that it takes anything away fro a girlfriend though. Why are you so concerned about this? Do you feel that you are doing enough for your man on the physical side? Do YOU own porn and feel self-concious about what your boyfriend will think if he doesn't?

0utshined

Canis Lupus wrote:

I know a few guys who say they have no porn.

Fixed!


OP,
To answer your question, presuming you meant "think any less of their girlfriend", then no. It is something you should be able to talk to him about though.

Stabshauptmann

A LOT of guys dont have any porn. I know few ppl past the age of 16 that kept magazines, and not everyone has a computer.

Actually most of the womens magazines are far filthier / enticing than mere pictures

condra

When you say porn do you mean magazines? I thought in this digital age magazines were old skool? no?

Anyway I reckon 99% of blokes have at some point wanked over porn and a good majority do regulary. We all **** anyway, just like we clip our nails, eat, sleep and poo. Get me?

Even if youre giving him the best regular sex he has ever dreamed of, chances are every now and then he just gets the urge to squeese one out and have a little fantasy.
Even if he wasnt looking at porn, he's probably not thinking of you when he empties his luggage.

Its a guy thing, were all dirty sluts in our heads, but when it comes down to it, were usually more faithfull and devoted than women.

does this mean any less of their girlfriend

It means he's not an obsessed psychopath, so take it as a bonus.

Either way- give the guy a break - better he has the odd shuffle than he's juggling your best friends apples.

biko

just curious wrote:

Anyway my questions is if men look at porn and masturbate a lot does this mean any less of their girlfriend.

No

Laguna

Yes, *most* men have seen or are in possession of porn/titillating material (be it the latest edition of sports illustrated) of some kind. Women can't understand this concept, it's not because your boyfriend/husband/partner isn't satisfied by you, you're judging and querying the sexual drive/reasoning of a man on your own sex drive - that of a female, who by and large have greatly diminshed sex drives in correlation with men. Most men get horny frequently, it's called testosterone, they can't help it, looking at naked women is pleasing/satisfying for a heterosexual man as he is programmed by nature to react to such images, this is the same of male members of all species.

jonny68

just curious wrote:

Right for starters I know majority of men have porn or even all perhaps.
I'm living with my boyfriend and I know he must have some but denys it! (must think I'm a wally)

Anyway my questions is if men look at porn and masturbate a lot does this mean any less of their girlfriend.

Im just curious really as I can't talk about stuff like that with him since he can't admit it

TKS

women look at porn as well fact my ex bird used to download porn from LimeWire as i seen... i occasionaly look at some porn but id never dream of paying a subcribstion for it id download it for free,some mates of mine would be into watching porno DVDs but that's not my scene but every geezer (and bird) to themselves there's nothing wrong with it so long as you don't abuse it;)

i dont have any porn!that would be horrible!:D men can seperate sex and love!

SexeeAussie

womoma wrote:

Even if youre giving him the best regular sex he has ever dreamed of, chances are every now and then he just gets the urge to squeese one out and have a little fantasy.
Even if he wasnt looking at porn, he's probably not thinking of you when he empties his luggage.

That is a fairly depressing thought for anyone that is in a relationship.........

Porn CAN be a very destructive thing, I don't care what people say (and I DO have a rather healthier than normal sex drive).

I had a bf who had porn everywhere. I hated it.....PURELY for the reason that he made me feel inferior by saying things like " God, if you had a rack like that then you'd be perfect"...."She is the most f***in gorgeous thing I have ever seen in my life...I would do anything to root her.... etc....." That tends to wear on a girls confidence.....(can't imagine why)

In the end I had such little self esteem that when I found a very nice boy that really adored me, I did the wrong thing and cheated on said bf, to prove to myself that I wasn't 'horrid'.

Not the way to do things in hindsight, but he made me feel soooo worthless based on my 'appearance' (and yet....now begs me to 'catch up' with him).

Porn isn't a bad thing in the right context. But if one of you feel uncomfortable or insecure or whatever about it, the other partner must understand that and respect your wishes.

Maybe your bf doesn't look at it. I know my ex didn't. Don't make it an issue if there is nothing to make an issue out of it.

BTW, I am highly insecure in sooo many ways, but it can cause grief.......be confident that he loves you and only wants you.

jonny68

SexeeAussie wrote:

That is a fairly depressing thought for anyone that is in a relationship.........

Porn CAN be a very destructive thing, I don't care what people say (and I DO have a rather healthier than normal sex drive).

I had a bf who had porn everywhere. I hated it.....PURELY for the reason that he made me feel inferior by saying things like " God, if you had a rack like that then you'd be perfect"...."She is the most f***in gorgeous thing I have ever seen in my life...I would do anything to root her.... etc....." That tends to wear on a girls confidence.....(can't imagine why)

In the end I had such little self esteem that when I found a very nice boy that really adored me, I did the wrong thing and cheated on said bf, to prove to myself that I wasn't 'horrid'.

Not the way to do things in hindsight, but he made me feel soooo worthless based on my 'appearance' (and yet....now begs me to 'catch up' with him).

Porn isn't a bad thing in the right context. But if one of you feel uncomfortable or insecure or whatever about it, the other partner must understand that and respect your wishes.

Maybe your bf doesn't look at it. I know my ex didn't. Don't make it an issue if there is nothing to make an issue out of it.

BTW, I am highly insecure in sooo many ways, but it can cause grief.......be confident that he loves you and only wants you.

Rubbish my ex bird used to download some porn and it didn't bother me in the slightest,she's actually reads this forum sometimes but hates me now but im sure even she isn't that much of a hypocrite that she would deny this:p

SexeeAussie

No, you have not even read my post

I said it CAN be a bad thing.........if both parties are consenting than who cares.......I am saying that in some situations it is not a good thing. Some people are not so secure in their appearance, sexuality, confidence whatever.

Laguna

SexeeAussie wrote:

No, you have not even read my post

I said it CAN be a bad thing.........if both parties are consenting than who cares.......I am saying that in some situations it is not a good thing. Some people are not so secure in their appearance, sexuality, confidence whatever.

Granted porn can be a bad or negative influence in a relationship, but it's always the woman who takes issue with her partner having porn, it's not as if men turn around and say "GOD, WHY DO I LOOK AT PORN". I think the situation you described about your own relationship was sad to hear, don't think all men are like the guy you went out with, who was clearly a sleazy porn hound with a sex drive of a bull on viagra. I don't understand what he was trying to achieve by comparing you with the silicone enhanced 'women' in his.... ahem... collections....., did he take it upon himself to undermine the confidence of people in everyday life and situations as well?, or was he just a knob end generally?

jonny68

SexeeAussie wrote:

No, you have not even read my post

I said it CAN be a bad thing.........if both parties are consenting than who cares.......I am saying that in some situations it is not a good thing. Some people are not so secure in their appearance, sexuality, confidence whatever.

no probs me aul sport:D

SexeeAussie

Laguna wrote:

Granted porn can be a bad or negative influence in a relationship, but it's always the woman who takes issue with her partner having porn, it's not as if men turn around and say "GOD, WHY DO I LOOK AT PORN". I think the situation you described about your own relationship was sad to hear, don't think all men are like the guy you went out with, who was clearly a sleazy porn hound with a sex drive of a bull on viagra. I don't understand what he was trying to achieve by comparing you with the silicone enhanced 'women' in his.... ahem... collections....., did he take it upon himself to undermine the confidence of people in everyday life and situations as well?, or was he just a knob end generally?

Hmmm, interesting question, think it may have been that he was a little 'insecure in himself' a tad.....he had no reason to be, but he was from a family of 7 boys.......it may have been just a case of 'going along' with the boys.....but at the same time, he was never one for giving compliments.......(the only compliments he gave was to his naked screensaver birds).

As I said, the funny thing is now that we have been apart since the beginning of the year, he sends me messages saying I was the best lover he has ever had.....etc etc......

He is also a cop, so I am thinking that they have 'power' issues anyway.....


Look, all I am saying is that porn is ok if both people are happy with it....( I have been cool with it in the past) as long as I am NOT compared and criticised cos I am not 'perfect' (ahem).

With age comes a lovely sense of self anyway......and I know I am ok....in fact I am more than ok.......

His loss!

jrey1981

just curious wrote:

does this mean any less of their girlfriend.

No - the girls on the page or pc screen might look gorgeous, but I am guessing your bf is with you for your character and personality, etc. as much as anything else.

You are the real thing whereas they are just fantasies that help us guys cure the frequent urges we get in the easiest (and sometimes only) way...

As others have said, unless your bf starts to prefer his porn to some fun with you, then there is no real issue here.

Zascar

offer to watch it with him and see what he says, it might bring your relationship to new heights...

BeatTun

BoozyBabe wrote:

Wouldn't bother me!
He can look, but he can't touch, is my motto.

Like someone else said:- if he starts choosing porn, pamela & her 5 sisters over you, then you've reason to be concerned, but not before hand.

love the pun!

Civilian_Target

Seraphina wrote:

but i often feel like he's more interested in jerking off to some girly pictures then making the effort to see me alone. its been very detrimental to my self esteem, just like SexeeAussie's situation, and its been very depressing that my hand's have been doing so much of the work he's even turned down sex on a few occasions preferring to sleep (at 2pm on a saturday) or some other ****.

wtf?! Thats mad!

lee_baby_simms

i got the keyboard for my pc laminated a few weeks back and i dont know meself since.

Terry

all stoners are lazy.
i don't know one with a full time job.

anyway, back to the topic at hand.
i like porn and make no secret of that fact. it's pretty commonplace on the continent and i don't hea any complaints from over there.
my ex used to watch it with me, which was nice.
there are quite a lot of girls who watch it regularly. i think there is too much of a stuigma attached to it for girls to own up.

BeardyGit

It's not that complicated. Guys like naked women. Guys like to crack one off. The two go hand in hand.

Do yourself a favour and don't obsess about it. If you want to watch porn with him, ask him. But if you don't want to watch porn then leave him alone and don't give him any grief over it.

Gil

Zombrex

Seraphina wrote:

doesn't make me feel any better though.

Dump his ass ... I mean would people be surprised if a guy broke up with a girl because she seemed completely uninterested in him physically? Not at all, they would say well done mate, plenty of more fish and all that

I don't know what your boyfriends problem is, but I am of the belief that physical intamacy is very important in a relationship. If you don't have that you are friends not lovers. If he isn't turned on by you any more (or just couldn't be arsed making an effort) that isn't your fault or problem. Move on to someone who is. There is nothign worse than going out with someone who seems to be not that bothered with you. As you said, it kills your self-esteem. DOn't take it personally, it is not a reflection on you, I am sure there are plenty of guys who would like nothing better than a roll in the hay with you, he might just not be one of them.

To the OP, porn isn't a problem by itself ... even in a relationship I like a bit of porn once and a while. But that is normally only when my g-f isn't in the mood herself. In my experience women don't want/need sex as much as us men. When you aren't up for it there is no harm in a guy "taking care of business" himself.

If he is turning you down though, prefering porn, then that should be a bit of a warning sign. Maybe have a chat to him about it in a non-confrontational manner. Don't get mad at him, and be prepared for a "you aren't doing it for me" reply.

But at the same time, don't assume this is a problem. As someone else said guys just get horny all the time ... your boyfriend watching a bit of porn and getting it out of his system is better than him dry humping your leg every night when you just want to go to sleep isn't it

0utshined

Wicknight wrote:

Dump his ass ...

Or maybe talk to him about it if it's a problem for her?

I don't know what your boyfriends problem is

You're right, you don't.

tj-music.com

What a nightmare having to wake up nearly every morning horny as hell just because one is a male!! Until woman wake up with the same feeling, just shut up and let us have our thoughts and porn.

Kintarō Hattori

There are many reasons that guys have porn. It's not something you can answer in one sentance.

Personally I think I have a high sex drive and I could easily have it every day, but I know this isn't the case for my girlfriend. Sometimes if there is too much sex in a relationship, it can seem like that relationship is revolving around sex, and women especially don't like to believe that their relationship is built upon that. Testosterone is a terrible thing. Men can become incredibly horny in under a minute which is generally not the case for a women. Rather than looking for sex, and perhaps bothering you when you are not in the mood he might use porn as a release.

Perhaps he likes a certain style of porn. Some people like to be dominated, some people like SM, some people like kinky stuff. My imagination isn't the best, but you get the drift of what I'm saying. He may love having sex with you, but just wish that occasionally you could do something special for him. Perhaps he's too scared to ask you this, or let you know something about him that he's a little embarrassed about, and porn is his release for this.

As people have said, porn is a relative thing. In small amounts it can be healthy, but if your boyfriend is more interested in what's going on with his porn than you, then that's a bad point to be at. You should be where his attention is focused, and his porn can be a little bit on the side if you will.
Have you asked him if there is anything that you could do for him. Something special, something that he really desires and turns him on? I know there are certain things that my gf was eager for me to do for her but was too embarrassed to ask and vice versa for me. There were things I really wanted to experinece but was scared/nervous to ask for that porn originally provided a release for.

Don't see it as a bad thing and don't go on the offensive. Ask him if there is something he likes that you could do for him that is much better than looking at some static image!!!

Zombrex

0utshined wrote:

Or maybe talk to him about it if it's a problem for her?

Personally I wouldn't bother too much ... if she has to explain to her boyfriend how this makes her unhappy, which is basically explaining the fundamental facts of being in a relationship and how to treat someone right, then it ain't going to work anyway even if she does

"Talking" is an over rated answer to problems in a relationship ... sure communication is very important blah blah and all that gay stuff ... but you can't fix fundamental relationship problems simply by talking about them

Whats she going to do, sit him down and explain that actually she doesn't like it when he ignores her and goes into the other room for a ****...

People put up with a lot of crap and waste a lot of time trying to "fix" relationships ... I call it the Dawsons Creek syndrome, that show has young people thinking every relationship is supposed to be one big struggle and over coming serious, dramatic, relationship problems (when you are 19) -

"Oh he doesn't find me sexually attractive, hopefully we will have a dramatic talk about it (after a montage of us walking on a beach having a serious think) and thinks will be ok in the end" -

BS to be honest, relationships are supposed to be fun. Everyone seems to think once they are lucky enough to be in a relationship they should by god hold on to it and try try try to make it work. In fact the opposite is true, you should be moving on once it is obvious it isn't working, until you actually find someone that does work and is easy.