No sex, wtf can I do?

Mina Loy

b0b2028 wrote:

I'm going unregged for this, because there's no way in hell I'm writing this regged.

The story is that as yet: I'm 24, I've no girlfriend, never did, nor have ever kissed a girl. The problem is that I'm not great looking, yet my goal is the beautiful women (not model quality, just beautiful), and I have a "never 2nd best"" rule, whereas if I go (meet/kiss/shag) with someone, its cos they're beautiful, and not any women just so I can get laid.

My problem, or fear, is that if I got an ugly one back to a bed (or alley), I wouldn't be able to get a hard-on, thus wouldn't be very nice (for neither her nor me), as what greater insult can you get?

So, as this is not a topic that I'd be able to talk to my mates about, I thought I'd post it here, to see if I'm the only one with ths problem, or if someone else had this problem, but found a way to overcome it.

/sarcasm ..gee you sound so sweet and sincere I have absolutely no idea why you've never had sex /sarcasm

cournioni

The OP reminds me a bit of that film, Shallow Hal. You should try watching it bob.

susanna

Well OP, you're the one who came on here looking for advice, many of us are saying the same thing, but you're choosing not to listen.

End of the day - if you won't change you're attitude, you're not likely to get a girl. Its up to you

Laguna

b0b2028 wrote:

Yes, I'm shallow. So what? The problem is still the same. If I went with an ugly bird, and couldn't get it up, I doubt she'd be very happy about it. A few of my friends say that I "gotta start somewhere", but I don't see where shagging an uugly bird just for the sake of it will help me. And if somehow it did, I'm afraid that I wouldn't be able to turn myself on for an ugly bird. Which wouldn't be nice, as it'd hurt her feelings.

Also, people think that because I only go for the beautiful people, I aim too high. Meh. What the hell. If you go into a club, and saw a goth/punk/weirdo/etc, would you avoid them? I wouldn't, as they're mostly beautiful. Alot of the "normal" girls are also beautiful, but meh, as most of them proberly see me as a freak, I doubt my chances are high.

Why did you bother coming on here to 'discuss' a possible solution to your problem when you refuse to change your hypocritical attitude. Your constant responses of 'meh' when people question your ideals and beliefs says it all to me, someone who asks a question, gets told the truth and doesn't like the answer so ignores it. If you continue to have the same attitude towards *ugly/beautiful* girls, I personally hope you continue to have no success with them.

ratboy

Laguna wrote:

Why did you bother coming on here to 'discuss' a possible solution to your problem when you refuse to change your hypocritical attitude. Your constant responses of 'meh' when people question your ideals and beliefs says it all to me, someone who asks a question, gets told the truth and doesn't like the answer so ignores it. If you continue to have the same attitude towards *ugly/beautiful* girls, I personally hope you continue to have no success with them.

Can a guy not have standards. If he'll get little or no pleasure from bedding a minger, why should he bother?

Laguna

ratboy wrote:

Can a guy not have standards. If he'll get little or no pleasure from bedding a minger, why should he bother?

Yeah a man can have standards, but does terming some girls as 'ugly' and there being no way you'd be able to 'get it up' with them really sound fair?. The man is a complete chauvinist and the best part of this joke is he clings to his standards whilst at the same time complaining he's never been with a woman?, is there any logic to this predicament at all?.


It's like being starved for three weeks then being offered a McDonalds, you refuse it because you're not going to lower your standards from only eating food from a 5* approved Michelin restaurant.

What utter nonsense.

ratboy

Laguna wrote:

Yeah a man can have standards, but does terming some girls as 'ugly' and there being no way you'd be able to 'get it up' with them really sound fair?. The man is a complete chauvinist and the best part of this joke is he clings to his standards whilst at the same time complaining he's never been with a woman?, is there any logic to this predicament at all?.


It's like being starved for three weeks then being offered a McDonalds, you refuse it because you're not going to lower your standards from only eating food from a 5* approved Michelin restaurant.

What utter nonsense.

ok, i don't think you can compare sex to food and i probably wouldn't be turning down ugmos if i was in his position but the guy still has the right to only go for what he wants, and there is some girls too ugly to stimulate men in that way, so he is just pointing out a reasonable predicament.

Laguna

ratboy wrote:

ok, i don't think you can compare sex to food and i probably wouldn't be turning down ugmos if i was in his position but the guy still has the right to only go for what he wants, and there is some girls too ugly to stimulate men in that way, so he is just pointing out a reasonable predicament.

Well let him carry on with his attitude then, it's obviously been working brilliantly for him up until now.

ratboy

Laguna wrote:

Well let him carry on with his attitude then, it's obviously been working brilliantly for him up until now.

I totally agree that he probably won't get any, the way he's going about it, but why should he go for an ugly girl just for the sake of being with someone, when there's no pleasure in it for him.

Laguna

Laguna wrote:

It's like being starved for three weeks then being offered a McDonalds, you refuse it because you're not going to lower your standards from only eating food from a 5* approved Michelin restaurant.

What utter nonsense.

Well said boss!!!!

Laguna

Right, let me get this straight....


The man hasn't had any women up to this point in his life, blatantly because of his attitude.

He starts a thread in the Personal Issues forum detailing this problem and literally answers his own question by pointing out that he's behaving in a shallow manner and girls smell this from a mile away.

I and many other posters point this out to him yet he refuses to change his attitude nor acknowledge that his attitude is the reason for his predicament.

What else can be said to him?, what answer/advice would he like to hear?

ratboy

Laguna wrote:

Right, let me get this straight....


The man hasn't had any women up to this point in his life, blatantly because of his attitude.

He starts a thread in the Personal Issues forum detailing this problem and literally answers his own question by pointing out that he's behaving in a shallow manner and girls smell this from a mile away.

I and many other posters point this out to him yet he refuses to change his attitude nor acknowledge that his attitude is the reason for his predicament.

What else can be said to him?, what answer/advice would he like to hear?

I just read the OP and you're post, sorry about that, didn't realise the guy was the architect of his own misery.

fly_agaric

scouser.tommy wrote:

Shane MacGowan is probably found universally un-attractive in the same way. (No offence Shane, you're a legend).

A combination of ditching the gargle and the attentions of a good dentist and perhaps a maxillofacial surgeon could get Shane up to well above average IMO. He's not too bad looking really.:)

Laguna wrote:

I personally hope you continue to have no success with them (women).

That's pretty harsh! You just made the OP cry into his ready-meal for one.:D

The Freeman

dude thats one shallow perspective on life ya got there,is what you gotta do is take your head out of your ass and not be so prejustice,give women a chance,i guarantee they'll do the same for you,well some of them anyhow,either that or get yourself a glass stomach so ya can see where your going in life!:eek:

LegacyUser

Laguna wrote:

It's like being starved for three weeks then being offered a McDonalds, you refuse it because you're not going to lower your standards from only eating food from a 5* approved Michelin restaurant.

Aye. But why do you think that beauty has to be 5*'s? If I were to go by your ratings, there are many beautiful girls at 2 and 3*'s. When I say ugly, I mean whacked by a shovel a few times, left for dead, but came back, zombie style ugly. I use the ugly/beauty thing, as women are either ugly, or beautiful.

Sure, you may have a ugly/normal/beauty rating, but for me, the normal/beauty thing is the same. Either your a reincarnated zombie ugly, or your not. If your not, chances are that you're beautiful.

Going back to your star rating system, no stars would be zombie ugly, but you get a star if you're in any way beautiful. You only get a star, if your beautiful, thus your either ugly (no stars) or beautiful (any amount of stars). I don't see why you should be 5* to be beautiful, tbh.

Nuttzz

2* people 3* people???? FFS I know kiddie paddling pools with more depth...

stop looking so hard, women can smell a desparte man from 200 metres away

MicraBoy

b0b2028 wrote:

I'm not great looking, yet my goal is the beautiful women

b0b2028 wrote:

I use the ugly/beauty thing, as women are either ugly, or beautiful.

So you are allowed to be "not great looking" but women are only ugly or beautiful? Let's apply that system to you. Are you ugly or beautiful?

Then stick to the girls in which ever category you decide you are.

di11on

Nuttzz wrote:

stop looking so hard, women can smell a desparte man from 200 metres away

So true. I'll bet nearly every guy in this discussion has the experience of seeing the attention he gets from women rise exponentially just after becoming unavailable.

Unless you are super attractive, most women are going to be instantly turned off when they detect that there is only one thing that interests you. If you start demonstrating some genuine interest in them as personalities rather than seeing them as sexual objects, I'm sure it'll make a difference.

Are you interested at all in an emotional relationship with a woman?

Women are fantastic... you should get to know them

Iago

Bob2028 I've got news for you. Women have standards too, and while it may not have penetrated into your brain fully yet, I'm sure you already suspect what I'm about to tell you. Some women think you're ugly, no really they do, in fact on a recent night out there was a woman somewhere talking with her friends about how she's never had sex and never been with a guy and what's she going to do. So one of her friends suggested she lower her standards and pointed you out, of course she pointblank refused, "what's the point in doing that, I'd just be lying there waiting for it to end, I have rules and I'm sticking to them"

She's wrong of course, just as wrong as you are, but at least you're both blissfully unaware of how wrong you are. So you can take some happiness in your ignorance!

If you're happy to continue as you are without ever being with a woman then by all means stick to your rules and your self-perceived grandure. If you want to start to make an impression with women then stop treating them as meat, start treating them as friends and learn that the only difference between what you would call a "stunning" women and an "unattractive" ( I hate the word ugly, bandied about far too much, I don't think I've ever seen a person that didn't have at least some attractive feature)woman is what other people think when they see you with them, beauty and sexiness are not solely about looks.

A women is sexy if she is confident in herself, a woman is sexy if laughs in a certain way, a woman is sexy instantly with a single glow in her eye, or the way she flicks her hair, or in just the hint of her smile. A woman is sexy if she can hold an intelligent conversation or make you look at things differently than you have before. A woman is sexy if she has a sense of humour that matches yours or any other myriad of ways.

You'll never see any of that because all you're concerned with is how they look in a pub or club in a split second of time, until that changes your situation won't. The only person that can help you is yourself.

LegacyUser

b0b2028 wrote:

if I got an ugly one back to a bed (or alley), I wouldn't be able to get a hard-on, thus wouldn't be very nice

I am sorry, what is your problem? Are you wondering why you are a virgin??? If so, I sugeest you read your own words above.

You have said your not the best looking guy, and you clearly have no respect for women, your attitude stinks, so why would any woman, of any level of physical attractiveness, want to sleep with you?

If you are wondering if your 'high standards' are reducing your chances of 'shagging' a beautiful women, then I would suggest that you first of all respect women, and realise that they don't just have tits/ass etc, but also feelings and personalities.

AARRRGH

b0b2028 wrote:

Aye. But why do you think that beauty has to be 5*'s? If I were to go by your ratings, there are many beautiful girls at 2 and 3*'s. When I say ugly, I mean whacked by a shovel a few times, left for dead, but came back, zombie style ugly. I use the ugly/beauty thing, as women are either ugly, or beautiful.

Sure, you may have a ugly/normal/beauty rating, but for me, the normal/beauty thing is the same. Either your a reincarnated zombie ugly, or your not. If your not, chances are that you're beautiful.

Going back to your star rating system, no stars would be zombie ugly, but you get a star if you're in any way beautiful. You only get a star, if your beautiful, thus your either ugly (no stars) or beautiful (any amount of stars). I don't see why you should be 5* to be beautiful, tbh.

OK. Here's a possible solution.

Would you agree Eastern European women can be quite beautiful?

Are you in Dublin?

There is a Russian/Eastern European club on O'Connell Street (well, technically just off O'Connell Street) full of beautiful women. They like Irish men.

Why not see how things work out there?

LegacyUser

dublindude wrote:

OK. Here's a possible solution.

Would you agree Eastern European women can be quite beautiful?

Are you in Dublin?

There is a Russian/Eastern European club on O'Connell Street (well, technically just off O'Connell Street) full of beautiful women. They like Irish men.

Why not see how things work out there?

Jesus, don't encourage him. This guys is ridiculously shallow and does not deserve any womans attantion.

Chucky the tree

Sounds like the sort of club where the womens attention would be rather expensive aswell.

nobodythere

Lower your standards, if you can't get a hard-on for anyone but the most beautiful girls - you've got problems.

Stop looking at porn for a start. It's like you're trying to sound all sensitive by saying "I don't want it to be just any old girl". That's not what people mean when they say that! They're talking about someone special, and I don't mean porn star special, I mean genuinely caring about someone.

And if you can't understand that, you're a sleezebag, and girls can smell that a mile away. Believe me, plenty of ugly people are getting laid - a lot of them by girls they find attractive and not just because they want to get laid.

Most of your brain matter doesn't reside in your testicles so stop thinking like you're under their control. I mean, grow up, this isn't 5th class where everyone is trying to shift everyone else to prove themselves. You're 24, can't you see past your own damn salvation and actually care about someone?

Here's an experiment: Go out and make friends with 3 girls. Have absolutely no intention of sleeping with them. Search for their good points instead of their flaws. Listen to them and talk to them and stop playing childish games.

Advice from a guy 7 years younger than you

Trx

Yeah,
Think you are the only one !!!

LegacyUser

Trx wrote:

Yeah,
Think you are the only one !!!

Aye, so it would seem Unless someone told me, I wouldn't consider myself shallow as such, but heck, one doesn't strive to be shallow, one day one will find out that they are.

Not to worry. Well, not now anyway. Maybe not for another 6 years, before I start to get worried, as at the moment, I just enjoy life. As someone once said to me: "You go out to have a good night, and getting a girl just makes the good night last longer", so meh, what the hell. I'll continue going to the metal clubs as per usual, and if I get lucky, I get lucky, if not, what the hell. Life goes on.

krd

He is right though -- If he has a first experience with an ugly girl it could mess him up for life. yuck yuck ugly people.

There should be a law against ugly people... they should be made to wear bags over their ugly heads.
ugly ugly ugly

i think more lads should be like him!

Atrocity

This thread is bizarre. I can't believe that anyone would start a thread like this. I still choose to believe that it is comic genius rather than idiocy.

If it is in fact, a genuine post, then I would suggest that the OP become a priest. If someone did actually realise that they weren't great looking and had never kissed a girl by age 24, then how could they come into Personal Issues and make a post outlining in detail their idiotic attitude and at the same time look for advice on why they weren't getting enough girls?

OP, this isn't an American Pie movie and you aren't the Sherman-ator. Grow up a bit.

DAEDULUS

be honest,you dont have a 'never second best' rule, its that even the 5th best wouldnt choose you...and its not because of your looks,because even ugly guys can get any bird they want if they know how

Atrocity

It's not about that. Everyone has notions like that, but that guy, with his talk of having sex with girls in alleys, takes the biscuit. It's hilarious, to be honest.

andrew163

If the OP was 8 years younger I'd suggest he go to blast.

Failing that...
You have 2 options.

Either (a) keep up the whole "not gonna do anything with a girl unless they're hot" thing and stop wondering why you still haven't gotten any by 24, or (b) lower your standards. Learn that girls don't always have to be hot to be attractive. Yes even sexually attractive. (if (b) doesn't work, THEN you should start wondering why you haven't kissed a girl by 24...).

LegacyUser

This is hilarious. Bob you're an utter loser.

Can nobody see that this whole "high standards" routine is simply a mask for disguising his fear of erectile dysfunction? Rather an unpleasant mask, but a mask nonetheless.

Victor

Harlequin01 wrote:

Bob you're an utter loser.

Wow, calling some a "loser" from behind an anonymous post is really mature.

r3boot

bob,

you deserve to be in the situation you are in and it's not only because you're ugly; it's because you're about as mature as a 12 year old.

As far as I can see here are your options

1. Butter Your Corn,
2. Crank the Shank,
3. Cuff the Carrot,
4. Five Knuckle Olympics,
5. Grease the Pipe,
6. Jerk Off,
7. One Man Tug-O-War,
8. Play the Organ,
9. Polish the Rocket,
10. Pound Off,
11. beat the meat,
12. stroke it
13. choke your chicken,
14. wax the dolphin,
15. choke the bishop,
16. wax the rod,
17. change gears,
18. walk the dog,
19. onanism,
20. spank the monkey,
21. pocket pool (through the clothing),
22. play the upright organ,
23. bleed the serpent
24. pull the peter,
25. plug the mellon,
26. polish the purple helmet,
27. tickling the turkey
28. polish the wand,
29. Chisel The Carrot,

and may your right arm only grow stronger.

p.s. Yes they all mean the same thing; just wanted to see how many synonyms I could come up with.

oh and stroke the pastrami

Victor

Now, now. Behave!

rsynnott

Is there a particular reason you are worried about not being able to get an erection? Do you have trouble getting an erection under normal circumstances? If so, it's not a particularly unusual problem and a doctor may be able to help you.

LegacyUser

Well i read your post and i see your problem this there not hot enough thing is something a 15 year old would say.
but sadly i am 23 and i have only ever kissed two girls.
i have a very bad anxiety problem i avoid public places every time i just cant cope with them this is the main reason i havent been able to meet anyone.

Its not like im an ugly son of a bitch im a good looking guy use to be very popular ive lost most of my friends by my own doing but ive never had a girl friend either , its not like ive not had offers i had plenty but i was never in the state of mind to have a girl friend.
i cant go to clubs or pubs i find hard to get on the dart most times so thats my excuse, dont live life alone ive lost most of my youth cause my life was a bitch

go pull a minger

Lone Stone

Well i read your post and i see your problem this there not hot enough thing is something a 15 year old would say.
but sadly i am 23 and i have only ever kissed two girls.
i have a very bad anxiety problem i avoid public places every time i just cant cope with them this is the main reason i havent been able to meet anyone.

Its not like im an ugly son of a bitch im a good looking guy use to be very popular ive lost most of my friends by my own doing but ive never had a girl friend either , its not like ive not had offers i had plenty but i was never in the state of mind to have a girl friend.
i cant go to clubs or pubs i find hard to get on the dart most times so thats my excuse, dont live life alone ive lost most of my youth cause my life was a bitch

go pull a minger

Laguna

Lone Stone wrote:

Well i read your post and i see your problem this there not hot enough thing is something a 15 year old would say.
but sadly i am 23 and i have only ever kissed two girls.
i have a very bad anxiety problem i avoid public places every time i just cant cope with them this is the main reason i havent been able to meet anyone.

Its not like im an ugly son of a bitch im a good looking guy use to be very popular ive lost most of my friends by my own doing but ive never had a girl friend either , its not like ive not had offers i had plenty but i was never in the state of mind to have a girl friend.
i cant go to clubs or pubs i find hard to get on the dart most times so thats my excuse, dont live life alone ive lost most of my youth cause my life was a bitch

go pull a minger

Chin up Lone Stone, sorry to hear your circumstances, I'm hoping (and pretty sure) this will change in the future for you.. the difference between yourself and the OP in my opinion is, I feel empathy for you, I have none for the OP. You're just a shy person who's had a burst of bad luck, the OP is someone who's cultivated his own mess.

If you're lacking in confidence (and I'm always saying this, it may sound stupid but give it a shot), take up an amateur drama class if you can.. I know it sounds like a big step, but if you force yourself into situations where you have to be open and confident, you'll find it'll get to the stage where confidence will come naturally to you. Hang in there big guy.

Repli

No sex, wtf can I do?

Go to barcode. Problem solved tbh.

Laguna

Repli wrote:

Go to barcode. Problem solved tbh.

Or get a barcode, on the back of your head in a government breeding program or something.

Repli

???

Laguna

Well that's the only way I can see this guy getting laid with his attitude, if he's in some breeding program.

Repli

Oh right. Merry Christmas.

Laguna

Repli wrote:

Oh right. Merry Christmas.

Quite. 'Merry Christmas' to you as well.

LegacyUser

I think he'll find that his lack of confidence in his physical ability to perform will evaporate the second a woman touches him in passion. Even a rancid diseased crack who' street-corner hooker can turn a man on. They've been doing it for centuries (in different forms). Considering he's never been kissed I'd be surprised if the other problem wouldnt be more likely.

I somehow doubt that people in general find you to be a decent guy. Do you have any sisters? How do you treat them? Have you even tried talking to someone of the opposite sex? You'd be surprised. If you just dropped your guard for a while and actually tried talking with people rather than at them you might get somewhere.

I think a lot of people could be accused of holding their standards too high though. I find myself doing it sometimes and I try to stop myself. I hate myself for it. Saying that I have never been with a girl that I didnt find attractive "just for the hell of it". But I know that personally I try my best to treat everyone with genuine respect. Even the people I find to be boring/unattractive/rude. Out having a drink and socialising is for exactly that. Socialising. Make sure everyone goes home having had a good night. Even the girl you dont find sexually attractive and have no intention of taking home.

The most successful man I know with women gets them not because he is good looking. He's definitely not at least in the classical way. He gets women because they like him. Hes funny. Wicked sharp and a really nice guy. He spends the night making sure that the girl has a genuinely good time. Not making sure that he will.
You have to love a woman for her to love you back. - A quote from a great dutch man I know. He may have gone on to talk about the super-fu*king but it was still valid and he meant it!

deltablaze

Lmao, Bob - you are so pathetic.
This is coming from a 14 year old guy, and let me tell you, although I'm not a 'player' or properly got it on with a girl, let me give you some advice:

Girls are not all about looks. Girls are not all about sex. Wake the hell up bob, and look at how a girl smiles, how they laugh, walk and make you emotionally excited. I for one know that any girl with self respect would not go out with someone like yourself. Change your attitude dude, and girls will look past looks, and see what a nice person you can actually be! Don't worry about sex, chill out and enjoy yourself.
Good luck and happy holidays