what's goin on

LegacyUser

Ok, im just writing to ask your opinion on this girl. I work with her and we get on really well and she is really good lookin and totally sound. Thing is i can't figure out if she wants to be really good friends or more. The main reason i got interested was she really seemed to be comin on to me. Always comin up to talk to me at work, beggin me to stay longer at work coz she's so bored when i'm not there and loads of other little things. Then she's always askin me to go out with her on weekends. It's no big deal coz there's other people (girls & guys) as well, but whenever i decide not to go out, she seems to be real disappointed. One time she spent all day at work beggin me to come out that nite. She texts me quite regularly as i do to her. Plus we talk regularly online on messengers and whenever i log in she instantly says hello, like she was waitin for me to come on or something.

Unfortunately its not simple. She always ends up gettin with someone else in niteclubs. That time she pretty much begged me to come out, i went and she was still with someone else within bout 30 minutes of being inside. I never really had the courage to try to get with her in a niteclub till one time i was drunk (in a good, happy way) and she was kinda sober and i was confident enough to tell her what i thought. I went on about how great she was and all this. She still got with someone else at the end of the night.

Ok, so theres are a number of possible reasons that might make a girl not be interested. I definately didn't come onto strong, certainly not as strong as she came onto me. I might have dropped a few hints but only after i knew her for a while. She's confident and knows she's good lookin and i know she knows i like her. I did ask her once if she had a boyfriend (no big deal she asked me if i had a girlfriend within minutes of meeting me) and she said no and she doesn't want one at the moment. So what the hell does she want?

I'm annoyed coz after hanging around with her a lot over the last few months and the way she led me one i really like her. But if she wasn't interested why did she lead me on so much. Was she just being friendly or what? She has lots of male friends so its not big deal that she wants to hang around with me, but i know i'm her best friend among them. But how can i become more than just friends with her. I heard she was shifting (that's meeting to dublin people) this guy who i know in jail and is a total bastard, so she could be one of these "friends with nice guys, but goes with assholes" kinda girls. My guess is that she is used to guys being really nice to her and she likes the challenge of some guy who treats her like ****, so what am i supposed to do.

One of her friends said she liked me. Plus i told her i might be goin away for a while next year and she is seriously thinking of coming with me. It would be great to have someone i know comin with me but although i love being just friends with her i don't wanna get any closer if nothin is ever gonna happen. Or how can i know what way she's thinkin for certain or make her think of me as more than just a really good friend.

aw

She sounds a bit like she knows you like her alot and likes having you around because she likes the attention and likes feeling wanted.

And then when you go out you're always there "just in case".

Or maybe she justs enjoys your company as a friend and that's why she likes you being around her too.

I wouldn't go away just with her though. It sounds like it could get very complicated and you might get hurt and not have as good a time as you could have.

Heyes

Im afraid to say what "aw" is saying is probable right. All girls aswell as guys love to have that attention be it by someone attractive or unattractive. The niceness of having someone want you is always what a person wants.

However im not convinced that she is not intrested, she might be a bit stand offish in relation to the next step because she is worried how it will effect your relationship as you appear to be very good friends.

Im not too sure about just the two of your going away with this issue hanging over you. You really just need to nip it in the bud and say exactly what you think, at least that way you ll know, and you can move on whether its possitve or not. Its not fair on you to wait until she is ready to decide what she wants.

WhiteWashMan

locomotive wrote:

Ok, im just writing to ask your opinion on this girl. I work with her and we get on really well and she is really good lookin and totally sound. Thing is i can't figure out if she wants to be really good friends or more. The main reason i got interested was she really seemed to be comin on to me. Always comin up to talk to me at work, beggin me to stay longer at work coz she's so bored when i'm not there and loads of other little things. Then she's always askin me to go out with her on weekends. It's no big deal coz there's other people (girls & guys) as well, but whenever i decide not to go out, she seems to be real disappointed. One time she spent all day at work beggin me to come out that nite. She texts me quite regularly as i do to her. Plus we talk regularly online on messengers and whenever i log in she instantly says hello, like she was waitin for me to come on or something.

Unfortunately its not simple. She always ends up gettin with someone else in niteclubs. That time she pretty much begged me to come out, i went and she was still with someone else within bout 30 minutes of being inside. I never really had the courage to try to get with her in a niteclub till one time i was drunk (in a good, happy way) and she was kinda sober and i was confident enough to tell her what i thought. I went on about how great she was and all this. She still got with someone else at the end of the night.

Ok, so theres are a number of possible reasons that might make a girl not be interested. I definately didn't come onto strong, certainly not as strong as she came onto me. I might have dropped a few hints but only after i knew her for a while. She's confident and knows she's good lookin and i know she knows i like her. I did ask her once if she had a boyfriend (no big deal she asked me if i had a girlfriend within minutes of meeting me) and she said no and she doesn't want one at the moment. So what the hell does she want?

I'm annoyed coz after hanging around with her a lot over the last few months and the way she led me one i really like her. But if she wasn't interested why did she lead me on so much. Was she just being friendly or what? She has lots of male friends so its not big deal that she wants to hang around with me, but i know i'm her best friend among them. But how can i become more than just friends with her. I heard she was shifting (that's meeting to dublin people) this guy who i know in jail and is a total bastard, so she could be one of these "friends with nice guys, but goes with assholes" kinda girls. My guess is that she is used to guys being really nice to her and she likes the challenge of some guy who treats her like ****, so what am i supposed to do.

One of her friends said she liked me. Plus i told her i might be goin away for a while next year and she is seriously thinking of coming with me. It would be great to have someone i know comin with me but although i love being just friends with her i don't wanna get any closer if nothin is ever gonna happen. Or how can i know what way she's thinkin for certain or make her think of me as more than just a really good friend.

ask her. not us.

Hobart

WhiteWashMan wrote:

ask her. not us.

'cause thats the whole point of PI. :rolleyes:

LegacyUser

Hey mate. Look you are better off thinking about a nicer girl out there.
Seriously from my "outer space" perspective, she is just using u as a friend who's there to hang around when she got no1 else. Someone to make her feel not alone if u get my drift.
If there is someone you are not attracted to, and you like them personality wise, and you know they like you, you will feel better with them around. So obviously you are going to use them for making you feel better.

So she is just using you coz u make her feel like she got company. Nothing sexual about that mate. We all been there, receiving and giving aspect of it. we#re human.

You seem like a genuine lad and she is just a slag messin u around, she wouldnt give a second thought about you honestly, so you should move on and find a girl who isn't rotten enough to get off with another lad in front of a lad who she knows likes her. Seriously, if she did like you, she wud get off with u but do you find a girl bad enough to do that worth being a gf?

I personally find romance just a biological thing that's temporary, sur who knows the world will probably end soon, who really needs romance? No right or wrong answer lol.
its a load of b*llx

WhiteWashMan

Hobart wrote:

'cause thats the whole point of PI. :rolleyes:

well, if you know what shes thinking, then why not just tell us all what it is shes thinking.
coz i dont.

hey, maybe he never even thought of asking her?

LegacyUser

I used to be in a similar situation with a girl I worked with. I've since left the job but stay in touch with her. We got on great and could talk about anything. Whenever she would introduce me to a friend of hers they'd say they had already heard loads about me.
But then whenever we used to go out it was the same story - we'd go to the nightclub and she'd score. Whenever we were out it was with a few mutual friends. Do you and her just head out alone or with some other people?

LegacyUser

Thanks for the quick responses. Well, yous are probably right. Its probably one of those things i already knew the answer to but wanted to get reassurance

styer

she sees you as a friend..... if she's that interested she wouldn't be going off with other guys within 30 minutes of being in a club....

rrrrr

locomotive wrote:

Ok, im just writing to ask your opinion on this girl. I work with her and we get on really well and she is really good lookin and totally sound. Thing is i can't figure out if she wants to be really good friends or more. The main reason i got interested was she really seemed to be comin on to me. Always comin up to talk to me at work, beggin me to stay longer at work coz she's so bored when i'm not there and loads of other little things. Then she's always askin me to go out with her on weekends. It's no big deal coz there's other people (girls & guys) as well, but whenever i decide not to go out, she seems to be real disappointed. One time she spent all day at work beggin me to come out that nite. She texts me quite regularly as i do to her. Plus we talk regularly online on messengers and whenever i log in she instantly says hello, like she was waitin for me to come on or something.

Unfortunately its not simple. She always ends up gettin with someone else in niteclubs. That time she pretty much begged me to come out, i went and she was still with someone else within bout 30 minutes of being inside. I never really had the courage to try to get with her in a niteclub till one time i was drunk (in a good, happy way) and she was kinda sober and i was confident enough to tell her what i thought. I went on about how great she was and all this. She still got with someone else at the end of the night.

Ok, so theres are a number of possible reasons that might make a girl not be interested. I definately didn't come onto strong, certainly not as strong as she came onto me. I might have dropped a few hints but only after i knew her for a while. She's confident and knows she's good lookin and i know she knows i like her. I did ask her once if she had a boyfriend (no big deal she asked me if i had a girlfriend within minutes of meeting me) and she said no and she doesn't want one at the moment. So what the hell does she want?

I'm annoyed coz after hanging around with her a lot over the last few months and the way she led me one i really like her. But if she wasn't interested why did she lead me on so much. Was she just being friendly or what? She has lots of male friends so its not big deal that she wants to hang around with me, but i know i'm her best friend among them. But how can i become more than just friends with her. I heard she was shifting (that's meeting to dublin people) this guy who i know in jail and is a total bastard, so she could be one of these "friends with nice guys, but goes with assholes" kinda girls. My guess is that she is used to guys being really nice to her and she likes the challenge of some guy who treats her like ****, so what am i supposed to do.

One of her friends said she liked me. Plus i told her i might be goin away for a while next year and she is seriously thinking of coming with me. It would be great to have someone i know comin with me but although i love being just friends with her i don't wanna get any closer if nothin is ever gonna happen. Or how can i know what way she's thinkin for certain or make her think of me as more than just a really good friend.

1. this girl is not interested in you at all.

2. You know this yourself.

3. whats this whole "dropping hints"? be a fu*king man. No "hints" from now on. that doesn't mean you pour out your feelings. The first time you saw here with a random stranger you should have got the message she was sending. You should have found a nice bird for yourself and showed her that you don't need her at all. She knows how you feel and she doesn't feel the same but she wants to keep you around because she feels good when she sees you and feels validated by your feelings for her. It makes her feel good. she wouldn't touch you in a million years though.

4. Get other options. Good luck.

Kolodny

Tbh, if she was that interested, she wouldn't be going off with other people. It's not like she thinks she has to make you jealous is it?

amazingemmet

this should answer all the questions you have.

LegacyUser

Inthesameboat wrote:

I used to be in a similar situation with a girl I worked with. I've since left the job but stay in touch with her. We got on great and could talk about anything. Whenever she would introduce me to a friend of hers they'd say they had already heard loads about me.
But then whenever we used to go out it was the same story - we'd go to the nightclub and she'd score. Whenever we were out it was with a few mutual friends. Do you and her just head out alone or with some other people?

Interesting, very similiar situation allright. When we go out there's other people as well, usually bout 4 of 5 of us, but not necassarily the same people, although always the 2 of us are always there. If we went away it would tho just be the two of us. I know people say i should forget about her completely and cut all contact but that ain't gonna happen if we work together and as well that she is a good friend. Think i'll just stop thinking about her as anything else for a while at least and try to move on to other people. Not easy though. although you seemed to manage ok, "inthesameboat".