Sleeping with friends

LegacyUser

I'm a bit uncertain where to begin this post but I'll try make it as coherent as possible. I've been newly single for the last 2 months and managed to move on fairly quickish. The 'getting over' the relationship wasn't too much of a problem and I was suprised by that. Now recently I've found myself enjoying the single life to its full potential.
The problems started when I met up with a friend who I've always found attractive and she knows it as I'm fairly obvious and honest about these things. Never is or was a problem for either of us in friendship terms. The problem is she got involved with a friend of mine and it seemed like they might end up together. That didn't happen and they ended on bad terms. John was not too upset about it all and he would be one of my best mates. Anna however was really cut up about it all and I ended up getting phone calls from the both of them right after they ended things. Seen as John was pretty relaxed about it I met up with Anna to make sure she was ok and I was near by anyway.
Went to a pub for a few drinks to talk it over and ended up in bed. Now I know that I was secretly wanting this to happen I get the impression that I took advantage at some level of her vunerability and also her need for affection following the blow-up between the two of them.

It was a one night bedroom romp and I don't really want to repeat it. I don't see any difficulties for Anna and my friendship. I've slept with friends before and in most cases its enhanced our friendship. The problem is I feel really bad and don't know whether or not to tell John that I slept with Anna. They were only seeing each other for just under a month and were never too serious but I feel like a shi*t in more ways than one.

What should I do? Keep quiet about it all or tell John?
In general should I avoid sleeping with friends

Gordon

Wasn't sure if you have stated the actual names or not so I edited it. (Thanks reportapostguy)

blackwashman

yeah, if he's not too cut up about it, it doesn't matter too much.

Trx

No Harm to sleep with friends at all.... Sometimes it can be a good way of making friens... Ie a friend of a friend !!!
Enjoy it while it lasts because when john finds out you are in a spot of bother!!

best of luck
Ps. Is she any good in the leaba?

cournioni

If you like her, and she likes you why not? Sure it might cause a bit of stir, but if you make it clear that you like the girl then your friend should respect that. If not he isn't much of a friend. If he wasn't upset about it, it shouldn't bother him.

Cake Fiend

If it was only a one-night thing, then noone needs to know. What the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve and all that.

TinCool

I wouldn't bother saying anything about it if it was a once off. No point in rocking the boat if you don't have to. On the other hand if it becomes serious between you and Anna then you'd have to tell your mate as it's the decent thing to do.

TC

styer

I wouldn't say a thing, no point in adding further complications to the whole thing, as said before if it happens again and he is a good mte of yours tell him straight away...

hullaballoo

It depends on your relationship with John really. If you're his best friend, I'd say something about the fact that there's some love between you and this girl, just so he knows. That way if he ever finds out or hears something elsewhere, it won't be a huge shock.

There's no need to go into much detail, just say you were with each other or something and if he asks about how much, just lie.

If you're posting here, I assume you have a conscious about it, which is commendable, so the advice "don't say a thing" probably won't sit too well with you in the long run. A good way out of this moral ring of fire is to quasi-admit to a wrongdoing, which clears your conscience enough so that it doesn't bother you.

Bear in mind though, if it's a "something about mary" case, where you and John both like her, then it's fair that the one she picks (you) should not feel too bad about the effect on the other.

Khannie

No point in telling him. What's the benefit? Hurt him to ease your guilt? No way.

OP wrote:

In general should I avoid sleeping with friends

NO WAY! They're the best ones to sleep with. You know you get on well....you know their previous sexual history, etc. etc. etc.

shakaman

My previous experiences with sh@ggin friends have never been good.....always end up in awkwardness and the friendship is never really the same again. But they were close friends, if yourself and Anna aren't that close she could be a serious fukbuddy!

On the taking advantage of her while she was lonely......good work!

Please don't ban me!

hullaballoo

Saying "please don't ban me" after writing something for which you can be banned should be a bannable offence.

If her and john get back together you can bet she will tell him or she might not
It’s up to yourself whether you take the gamble
As for sleeping with her, Fair play for taking advantage in the situation If john didn’t care then about giving her one he probably wont now if you do and alls fair in love and war

And girls (well smart ones anyway) know that they are bloody doing if they break up with a bloke and go to a mate of his for comfort
FFS she wanted revenge and sex so if you like her talk to her and find out the bottom line