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Selection of College Jokes!!

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  • 08-12-2005 3:02pm
    #1
    Steve_o
    Registered Users Posts: 3,432 ✭✭✭


    Q. Why don't they have Christmas at DCU?

    A. They can't find three wise men and a virgin.



    Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Carlow
    campus?

    A. An undergraduate degree.



    Q. What's the first thing a Sligo IT bird does when she
    wakes up in the morning?

    A. Walks home.



    Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at Trinity?

    A. With a restraining order.


    Q What does a Trinity student call a UCD student after
    graduation?

    A. Boss.


    Q. Why do they sell so man y button-fly jeans in
    Letter*****?

    A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.



    Q. Did you hear that the library at NUIG burned down?

    A. Naturally, the students were very upset....some of the
    books weren't coloured-in yet.


    Q.Why do UCD graduates put a copy of their diploma in the
    window of their vehicles?

    A. So they can park in handicap spaces.



    Q How do you get an I T grad off your front porch?

    A. Pay him for the pizza



    Q. What do tornadoes and Arts graduates have in common?

    A. They both end up in trailer parks.



    Q. How many Athlone IT students does i t take to change
    light bulb?

    A. None - Westmeath looks better in the dark.



    Q How many Trinity students does it take to change a light
    bulb?

    A. One - he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him



    Q. How many UCD students does it take to change a light
    bulb?

    A. Two - One to change the bulb and one more to explain how
    they did it every bit as well as any TCD student.



    Q. How many NUI Maynooth students does it take to change a
    lightbulb?

    A. Three - One to change it and two to figure out how to get
    high off the old one.



    Q. What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and
    a dead UCC student in the road?

    A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.



    Q. If you see a DIT student on a bike, why should you never
    swerve to hit him?

    A. It might be your bike.


    Q. What do you have when 100 Arts students are buried up to
    their neck in sand?

    A. Not enough sand.


    >
    Q. What do Science students use for birth control?

    A. Their personalities


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    #2
    muffin_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 110 ✭✭muffin_man


    Steve_o wrote:
    Q. What's the first thing a Sligo IT bird does when she
    wakes up in the morning?

    A. Walks home.

    Road trip to Sligo anyone?


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    #3
    timeout
    Registered Users Posts: 919 ✭✭✭timeout


    :D:D Hilliarious, i'd heard few before but this is a masterpiece, such a combination.


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    #4
    GLaDOS
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 23,224 Mod ✭✭✭✭GLaDOS


    Thats extrely offensive.......thats why its so funny!!!

    Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test



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    #5
    merlinsmerryman
    Registered Users Posts: 693 ✭✭✭merlinsmerryman


    LOL, very funny, would hate to be in UCD.


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    #6
    HybridTech
    Closed Accounts Posts: 265 ✭✭HybridTech


    muffin_man wrote:
    Road trip to Sligo anyone?
    Count me in! :D


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    #7
    de5p0i1er
    Registered Users Posts: 2,274 ✭✭✭de5p0i1er


    ROFL. Love them all. :D:D:D:D:D


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    #8
    deisedevil
    Registered Users Posts: 3,252 ✭✭✭deisedevil


    muffin_man wrote:
    Road trip to Sligo anyone?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh it's so true. I've experienced it first hand!! I'm in for the road trip! :D


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    #9
    Steve_o
    Registered Users Posts: 3,432 ✭✭✭Steve_o


    muffin_man wrote:
    Road trip to Sligo anyone?

    Yuuuuuuuuup!!!!


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    #10
    Binomate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,783 ✭✭✭Binomate


    Not enough DIT ones tbh.



    How many Sligo IT students does it take to change a lightbulb?

    All of them, they've got nothing else to do anyway.

    How many Tallaght students does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Two, One to change the bulb and one to complain about how if they were at a better college the lightbulb wouldn't go out.

    How many DIT students does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Seven, One to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.


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    #11
    Nobis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17 ✭Nobis


    Binomate wrote:
    Not enough DIT ones tbh.



    How many Sligo IT students does it take to change a lightbulb?

    All of them, they've got nothing else to do anyway.

    How many Tallaght students does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Two, One to change the bulb and one to complain about how if they were at a better college the lightbulb wouldn't go out.

    How many DIT students does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Seven, One to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.

    In my country it is a similiar joke about policemen:)

    How many policemen does it take to change lightbulb?
    Five, One to keep the lightbulb when standing on the table and four to turn table around


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    #12
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,906 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Steve_o wrote:
    Q. Did you hear that the library at NUIG burned down?

    A. Naturally, the students were very upset....some of the
    books weren't coloured-in yet.
    Both books were destroyed and what's worse one wasn't coloured-in yet.


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    #13
    Pigman II
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,921 ✭✭✭✭Pigman II


    funny


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    #14
    Diarmsquid
    Registered Users Posts: 1,584 ✭✭✭Diarmsquid


    Q. What do Science students use for birth control?

    A. Their personalities
    LOL.
    Nothing against Science student, but that's funny.


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    #15
    danniemcq
    Registered Users Posts: 14,163 ✭✭✭✭danniemcq


    bit off topic i know but why is Letterkenny **** out???


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    #16
    Mimikyu
    Registered Users Posts: 18,919 ✭✭✭✭Mimikyu


    This post has been deleted.


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