Kissing someone else

LegacyUser

Don't know why I'm bothering to post unregged as the issue is to do with my friend as opposed to me but anyway.

My mate is going out with his GF almost four years, but one of those years they spent in different countries and only saw each other about four or five times. Both 25 and mad about each other.

Anyway, last night was his office Christmas party, and yes he kissed one of the girls he works with, clichéd I know. Says he was drunk, but not completely wasted, lasted for a couple of minutes before he realised he ****ed up.

First time he has ever done anything of the sort. This lad isn't the type to go sleazing on other girls when his GF is not around. For the whole year that she was away he would have rathered sit in the local necking pints with the lads talking about football then go out to a nightclub trying to get some action, or even just for a bit of sightseeing.

Only one person from work saw them he says, and the lad that saw is a mate of his who could probably be trusted to keep it under his hat. He was actually raging at him for doing it as the lad that saw him has a longterm GF himself.

The reality of it is though can you ever really rely on any sort of work scandal not coming out? I know myself, as does he, that it's a usually common theme to kill time during the week, and particularly post a big event such as the Christmas do. Even if the girl just tells her best friend in work (which I would imagine would probably happen) it will eventually get around the whole office.

Now, my mates GF is friends with a girl my mate works with. So if it got around the office, there is a huge chance that it would get back to the GF.

On that basis I said to him to just tell her, made a mistake, never happen again and so forth. At least then even if she did dump him (which he reckons she would as she is fairly black and white on the issue) at least he would have a clear conscience and she could possibly forgive him somewhere down the line. IMO if he were to try and hide it and it got back to her she would be hurt far more, and possibly not forgive him, and in the long term this would possibly upset him more. The GF is part of our circle at home so will hardly just disappear.

Any thoughts?

WhiteWashMan

let him deal with his relationship, in his time, in his own way.

JustCoz

He should definitely tell her. Its obvious from your explanation that it's more likely this will get back to her than not. As a girl, i would be furious with my boyfriend but at least I would know he was really sorry and know that he wasn't making a fool out of me, coz that's the worst thing of all, being the last to know.

And since they have been together for such a long time, surely a stupid drunken kiss after 4 years wouldn't be grounds to permanently end their relationship?

BeardyGit

Christmas parties are a minefield. He's screwed up but it's not really down to you to shove him in any direction. I understand where you're coming from but really, all you can do here is wait in the wings to see how it plays out for both of them and if you're so inclined, pick up the pieces afterwards if asked.

At our office party a girl mentioned her shared indiscretions with some of my close work colleagues/friends (including one who is married with a young family). Despite the impression some of you here may have of me, I'm not prepared to judge any of them. It was an office christmas party and I guess these things come with the territory. If people can't exercise enough self restraint and demonstrate respect for their partners as I would, all it proves to me is that people are different in their approach to everything they do. All any of us can do is offer support when it's requested of us.

Slán,

Gil