Mother in Laws (total rant)

Clár · 13-12-2005 3:26pm #1

God i hate my boyfriends Mum!!

She is such an oddball, she is nice on minute and nasty the next.

My current grievance is that she keeps on feeding him red meat for dinner. I had planned on surprising him by making him a lasagne for when he is over but he has eaten red meat every day the past week. God he can be such an idiot he moans about it but yet he still eats it. To spite him I will make a vegetable lasagne (he hates veg) andi love them

The bitch obviously cares nothing about my fellas or his fathers health!! If she did she could cook them something else, everyone knows that its really notgood foryouto eat various different types of red meatevery day right??

I feel bad tho, i just emailed him and told him that he has halitosis when he eats to much red meat and i cannot bear to kiss him (which is kinda tru). The truth hurts and if this doesnot make him make a change to his diet well then nothing will...

tinkerbell · 13-12-2005 3:33pm

Jees, leave the guy alone. If he wants to eat red meat, then stop annoying him about it.

g'em · 13-12-2005 3:40pm

Ok.. so your bf's Mum feeds her son homecooked meals and you tell him he has bad breath...

And she's the b*tch?

Khannie · 13-12-2005 3:42pm

Eh....here's what I'd do to control my diet if I were him: End my relationship with you.

Seraphina · 13-12-2005 3:43pm

here, i thought you were in different countries??

...and you're STILL trying to control what he does??

Clár · 13-12-2005 3:43pm

tinkerbell wrote:

Jees, leave the guy alone. If he wants to eat red meat, then stop annoying him about it.

Thats the thing tho he doesnt want to eat red meat every day. I clearly stated that he moans about eating it and the fact that he is constapated etc. because of eating it!! But yet because its put in front of him its eaten

Linoge · 13-12-2005 3:48pm

Cl&#225 wrote: »

Thats the thing tho he doesnt want to eat red meat every day. I clearly stated that he moans about eating it and the fact that he is constapated etc. because of eating it!! But yet because its put in front of him its eaten

Well then he's got probelms.

If constapation won't stop him from eating it, how do you think your nagging will?

The only thing you can do is tell him to shut up about it the next time he moans. Its a situation that he has brought on himself and does not deserve any sympathy.

Seraphina · 13-12-2005 3:48pm

look, yer not his mother, you cant control his diet, get over it.

Khannie · 13-12-2005 3:52pm

Seraphina wrote:

look, yer not his mother, you cant control his diet, get over it.

LOL. The implication there (that his mother /can/ control his diet) gets to the crux of things.

I didn't know he was suffering as a result of eating the red meat. I thought it was just a general desire to eat less red meat. Still though....If he's eating a traditional dinner, that should be perfectly healthy.

BoozyBabe · 13-12-2005 3:53pm

This is coming from the girl who says she's Very gaseous & they're V smelly!!!

Maybe YOU should eat more red meat instead of vegetables!!!

You haven't come across too well in your post.

He eats the dinner that's set in front of him because he appreciates his mother slaving over a dinner for him.
Beggars can't be choosers & all that!!!

His ma's doing the cooking so she can cook what she likes, if he doesn't like it then he can cook for himself, but obviously he'd rather eat her dinners than do that.

She sounds like any other caring mother to me, it's you who seems to be the problem party

delly · 13-12-2005 4:00pm

While i won't abuse the OP for her opinion, i feel that she may want to be a little more controling of her boyfriend, and try to nudge the mother out.

Your not married, so she's not your mother in law yet. The original title of the thread suggested to be that there may be a serious issue with a conflict of personalities, whereas it just seems that you want to let of a bit of steam. Not really a PI issue to me, but i'll leave that to Ruthie or Gordo to point out to you if they wish.

~Leanne~ · 13-12-2005 4:08pm

Ok i know know that this guy has smelly breath and is constipated! Im sure if he knew this information was on the net he would be none to happy!!!

Compared to some probs people have with mother-in-laws this is very petty!! Come on - grow up!!!

Clár · 13-12-2005 4:16pm

~Leanne~ wrote:

Ok i know know that this guy has smelly breath and is constipated! Im sure if he knew this information was on the net he would be none to happy!!!

Compared to some probs people have with mother-in-laws this is very petty!! Come on - grow up!!!

This is just one issue ina long line of problems i have with her actually!!

~Leanne~ · 13-12-2005 4:17pm

Well join the club - very few have a good relationship with thier in-laws or out-laws as they mostly called now!

BoozyBabe · 13-12-2005 4:21pm

Cl&#225 wrote: »

This is just one issue ina long line of problems i have with her actually!!

Clár,
She could be an absolute bitch on wheels, but from the little bit you've posted about her, it doesn't sound like she is at all. It's just you sounding petty.

You may not be able to see this as you've had so many dealings with her, but from outsiders who know nothing about the situation, she's doing nothing wrong & the little fault that you've told us about isn't much to be complaining about.

(So, either fill us in on all the nasty things she's done to make you hate her so much, or don't expect to get much sympathy from what you've posted.

Sangre · 13-12-2005 4:22pm

Oh god no he didn't eat your lasanga! Dump him.
Saying someone has bad breath is pretty rich coming from you Clar.

Clár · 13-12-2005 4:26pm

Sangre wrote:

Oh god no he didn't eat your lasanga! Dump him.
Saying someone has bad breath is pretty rich coming from you Clar.

In fairness my wind in from leading a healthy lifestyle and I would rather have that than the smell of smelly breath from rotting steak in my stomach!!

alfa147 · 13-12-2005 4:30pm

Clar i would hate to be with u...its food... jesus christ

Sangre · 13-12-2005 4:31pm

You can have a perfectly healthy diet with red meat. Get off your high horse there.

Clár · 13-12-2005 4:33pm

I am not looking for sympathy it was just an off the cuff post after my boyfriend made me see red over another thing that his Mum does that infuriates me.

She just goes out of her way to be a cow to me and does not make me feel wecome when I go to over and stay in the house. And says comments like "O i work with some from your neck of the woods, she is from Belfast too" followed by a smirk that would make a saint see red (im from Dublin and she bloody knows it), her son lived here with me for the summer FFS. She also asks my fella to ask me a question and does not ask me directly, and when I go to answer she leaves the table.

There are 2 many more to mention and im sure iwill be slated over anything else that I say including the above paragraph.

BoozyBabe · 13-12-2005 4:36pm

Cl&#225 wrote: »

In fairness my wind in from leading a healthy lifestyle and I would rather have that than the smell of smelly breath from rotting steak in my stomach!!

The issue is not that you have gas, it's that you tell your boyfriend that you can't bear to kiss him because of his breath (which is related to his diet)

What if he was to tell you that he can't bear to kiss you because of your gas / smell (which is related to your diet!!!!)

I imagine you'd be less than amused!!

If he doesn't stop you from eating vegetables, then don't try to stop him from eating red meat.
If it's affecting his digestion then that's something he has to decide to deal with for himself, not because you nagged him so much that he felt he had to.

Khannie · 13-12-2005 4:36pm

Cl&#225 wrote: »

In fairness my wind in from leading a healthy lifestyle and I would rather have that than the smell of smelly breath from rotting steak in my stomach!!

Ok, you're obviously a fairly commited vegetarian.

There are very few like you out there. Most men, when offered a steak, will eat it. Humans are, by and large, omnivores.

I have an excellent sense of smell, and I can say with certainty that I've never smelled "rotting steak" on someones breath. Perhaps your boyfriend has gingivitis. Bad breath is not a good sign. Maybe a trip to the dentist / doctor is in order.

JC 2K3 · 13-12-2005 4:37pm

Vegetarian Nazi....

You can have a perfectly healthy diet with red meat.

And he doesn't have to eat it just because it's put in front of him, if he really cared he'd be a vegetarian like you, but he's not.

Sleipnir · 13-12-2005 4:40pm

I can't believe you called her a bitch.
To be perfectly honest, you come across as quite jealous of his mother.....

Dragan · 13-12-2005 4:41pm

Clar, you really need to re-evaluate things. Just from reading a few of your posts i have no doubt that you are always pretty sure you know whats right for everyone. If i am wrong then i apologise, but it you have come across pretty strong, and not just with your boy friend or mother in law, but with some other poster here because the magically did not know that you have other issues with your boyfriends mum than her cooking for him.

Just to lay out some things i think you need to hear.

1) She is not your mother in law, and by the sounds of it may never be.
2) If you have excessive wind then your diet is not as balanced as you think it is.
3) If your boyfriend has constipation it is not from too much red meat ( he only has one serving a day, i have two of red and four of white and have no such issues so he should be fine, believe me ) it is more likely from lack of fiber.
4) His bad breath is not from the smell of rotting meat in his stomach. Food does not stay in the stomach long enough to rot. If your boyfriend had rotten food in his stomach he would be a ) very, very sick or b) Dead.

All this is just simple advice to point out the fact that no one is right all the time. I suggest you get your boyfriend to eat more fiber, i suggest that you eat a bit more meat, and i suggest that you really lay of his mother because believe me, nothing gets a girl dumped faster than slaggin a fella Mam except cheating.

Amazotheamazing · 13-12-2005 5:26pm

In my opinion you are completely out of order. He has every right to choose his own diet, and his mother has cooked for him all his life, I sincerely doubt she wants to make him ill just to annoy you.

lazydaisy · 13-12-2005 5:50pm

Bad breath either comes from tooth decay or upset stomach which in his case is probably caused by the stress of having a controlling girlfriend.

Farts are caused by fermentation in the intestines.

Everyone has a different body that can take different things. I for one have a conditions which forbids me to eat most vegetables and I have asthamtic reactions to fruit. So stop being a food facist. Live and let live, peoples bodies have different needs and tolerances.

She not your mother in law. You're not their family. She will ALWAYS be his mother. You cant say that you will always be his girlfriend, a transient title.

LegacyUser · 13-12-2005 5:58pm

Cl&#225 wrote: »

God i hate my boyfriends Mum!!

She is such an oddball, she is nice on minute and nasty the next.

My current grievance is that she keeps on feeding him red meat for dinner. I had planned on surprising him by making him a lasagne for when he is over but he has eaten red meat every day the past week. God he can be such an idiot he moans about it but yet he still eats it. To spite him I will make a vegetable lasagne (he hates veg) andi love them

The bitch obviously cares nothing about my fellas or his fathers health!! If she did she could cook them something else, everyone knows that its really notgood foryouto eat various different types of red meatevery day right??

I feel bad tho, i just emailed him and told him that he has halitosis when he eats to much red meat and i cannot bear to kiss him (which is kinda tru). The truth hurts and if this doesnot make him make a change to his diet well then nothing will...

Are you for real?
His mother feeds him?
She actually goes to the trouble of hand preparing meals for her adult son, and you think she is a bitch?
Seriously? ?????
To be honest, I think you are the one with the problem, his mother has not done anything wrong, your boyfriend has not done anything wrong, the only person behaving irrationally here is you.

Dragan · 13-12-2005 6:07pm

I don't think this post is going the way the OP thought it would

Who would have thought!!!!

In all seriousness though, you need to rethink the grief you seem to give your fella!!!

Gandhi · 13-12-2005 6:08pm

Cl&#225 wrote: »

I am not looking for sympathy it was just an off the cuff post after my boyfriend made me see red over another thing that his Mum does that infuriates me.

She just goes out of her way to be a cow to me and does not make me feel wecome when I go to over and stay in the house. And says comments like "O i work with some from your neck of the woods, she is from Belfast too" followed by a smirk that would make a saint see red (im from Dublin and she bloody knows it), her son lived here with me for the summer FFS. She also asks my fella to ask me a question and does not ask me directly, and when I go to answer she leaves the table.

There are 2 many more to mention and im sure iwill be slated over anything else that I say including the above paragraph.

Does sound like the boyfriend's mother is a pain in the ass.

Eating red meat every day is very unhealthy. Even competitive bodybuilders stick mainly to white meat, but our parents' generation do it because they are the first generation that could afford to. Hence they are breaking the record for heart attacks etc year after year.

I told an old girlfriend once that she used to have bad breath at one stage, but it had since cleared up, and she was pretty upset that I hadn't told her at the time so that she could have done something about it.

Khannie · 13-12-2005 6:38pm

Cl&#225 wrote: »

She just goes out of her way to be a cow

She does sound like a rude cow in fairness. I can't stand rudeness like you described.

Perhaps you picked the wrong thing to rant about.

Khannie · 13-12-2005 6:40pm

Gandhi wrote:

Eating red meat every day is very unhealthy.

How exactly?

I think you'll find that the main cause of people having more heart attacks is that they're eating too much.

secret_squirrel · 13-12-2005 7:00pm

OP I think the only problem here is you. You are coming across as a militant control freak vegetarian, why dont you try to cool it a bit?

Let me ask you 1 question how many times have you tried to force him to be a vegetarian?

Gandhi · 13-12-2005 7:22pm

Khannie wrote:

How exactly?

I think you'll find that the main cause of people having more heart attacks is that they're eating too much.

"eating too much" as in "too much food", or "too much red meat"? Are you agreeing with me or arguing with me?

If you can keep the portion low enough, yes you can eat red meat every day without noticeable effects, but I doubt this dude's mother is giving him a carefully measured few grams of ultra-lean meat. That's not the Mammy method of nutrition with any Mammy I have ever come across.

If you mean eating too much food in general, I agree, but I doubt anyone wakes up from bypass surgery and has the doctor telling them to cut down on the celery and oranges.

Anyway, I am gone way off topic here. Apologies, mods.

Khannie · 13-12-2005 7:27pm

Gandhi wrote:

"eating too much" as in "too much food", or "too much red meat"? Are you agreeing with me or arguing with me?

Ah, I was just disagreeing with you. Not arguing.

Gandhi wrote:

If you mean eating too much food in general, I agree, but I doubt anyone wakes up from bypass surgery and has the doctor telling them to cut down on the celery and oranges.

ROFL.

Hagar · 13-12-2005 7:35pm

What's wrong with red meat. You would think he was eating it raw.
What's he doing biting it from the neck of a living calf?

Get a grip. You see yourself in a power struggle with his mother over who has control over him. Neither of you do. If you want control get a puppy. Don't mess with men. We don't like it and you won't like the backlash in the long run.

dudara · 13-12-2005 8:21pm

OK, fascinating as the red meat debate is, it's not at the core of the matter here, so leave it out. Take it to Fitness or Food or Biology/Medicine

Clár, men have a very tight bind with their mothers. Fact of life. In contrast to you, however, I get on with my "mother-in-law" like a house on fire, she's a star, a true lady. It was awkward meeting her at first, because she's someone really important in your man's life, and that's why you have to work at the relationship.

She's not out to ruin you or malign you. My advice is to make more of an effort. Maybe less of the vegetarianism too, as people of a certain generation wouldn't be too keen on that. Just dial yourself back until you get to know her a little better.

Ag marbh · 13-12-2005 8:30pm

Cl&#225 wrote: »

I am not looking for sympathy it was just an off the cuff post after my boyfriend made me see red over another thing that his Mum does that infuriates me.

She just goes out of her way to be a cow to me and does not make me feel wecome when I go to over and stay in the house. And says comments like "O i work with some from your neck of the woods, she is from Belfast too" followed by a smirk that would make a saint see red (im from Dublin and she bloody knows it), her son lived here with me for the summer FFS. She also asks my fella to ask me a question and does not ask me directly, and when I go to answer she leaves the table.

There are 2 many more to mention and im sure iwill be slated over anything else that I say including the above paragraph.

That doesnt seem too much out of the ordinary. Be greatful you still have a boyfriend with your attitude

vibrant · 14-12-2005 1:23am

It sounds like you have managed to rub his mother up the wrong way, and she has a dislike for you. It's unfortunate, but in all honesty I can't say I blame her. Clár, there really is a certain element of "control freak"ery to your posts - I recall another thread where you mentioned eating 8 portions of fruit a day... and adding *exactly* 100mls of milk to your cereal. It's obvious that your health is very important to you, but the control you are exercising over your diet can be easily misconstrued as being too uptight and controlling. It's all well and good I suppose, but when it extends to other people, it can all turn wrong.

(Lest you think I'm trying to insult you let me put it this way, I'd be the first one to be classified as a Type-A personality/control freak! However over the years I've learned to mellow out a bit and go with the flow a lot more. It's more fun, believe me!)

Anyway, with regards to your behavior, I suspect from what you've said that it can come accross as being manipulative. Could it be the case that his mother sees her son acting a little differently since you started seeing each other - and she doesn't like it? It could be a matter of her finding it difficult to loosen the apron strings a bit, but I think that her maternal instinct has kicked in full force when she sees *somebody else* trying to mammy him in terms of what he's eating... and how often! You might be his first serious relationship, and it can be hard for mothers to see their widdle sons growing up and (as they see it) not needing them anymore.

My advice - as long winded as my preamble has been - is just to relax! Surely you can see that sending him a rude e-mail telling him about his supposed bad breath is not "taking the high road" - it makes you come accross as scarily immature and terribly bad mannered. If anything, you're giving his mother fodder to hate you and be rude to you again in the future. Surely you don't want that! To take another one of your posts (I hope I'm not stretching it too out of context here, but bear with me), what if your man sent you an e-mail complaining about your gas problem? Would you be mortified? Would you feel belittled? Would you think more or less of him for sending you the email (rather than casually bringing it up in a relaxed conversation)?

Dragan · 14-12-2005 9:48am

Gandhi wrote:

Even competitive bodybuilders stick mainly to white meat

Actually i most of the bodybuilders i know, be they NABBA or IFFB Pro's, or simple gym rats down the local will eat red meat at least once a day in the off season, as it is a better source of healthy fats, iron, protein and CLA than white meat.

We normally only restrict to white meat for contest prep, as it is leaner than red.

Karl Hungus · 14-12-2005 9:53am

Ag marbh wrote:

That doesnt seem too much out of the ordinary. Be greatful you still have a boyfriend with your attitude

This has to be the first time you've said something I've agreed with completely.

WhiteWashMan · 14-12-2005 10:09am

Cl&#225 wrote: »

God i hate my boyfriends Mum!!

She is such an oddball, she is nice on minute and nasty the next.

My current grievance is that she keeps on feeding him red meat for dinner. I had planned on surprising him by making him a lasagne for when he is over but he has eaten red meat every day the past week. God he can be such an idiot he moans about it but yet he still eats it. To spite him I will make a vegetable lasagne (he hates veg) andi love them

The bitch obviously cares nothing about my fellas or his fathers health!! If she did she could cook them something else, everyone knows that its really notgood foryouto eat various different types of red meatevery day right??

I feel bad tho, i just emailed him and told him that he has halitosis when he eats to much red meat and i cannot bear to kiss him (which is kinda tru). The truth hurts and if this doesnot make him make a change to his diet well then nothing will...

is this actually a PI or a rant?

i suggest moving it to after hours tbh.

dahooligan · 14-12-2005 11:21am

My missus's mam is cool, she makes me dinner.. not too much red meat though. She does the loud shouty thing, but its her house so she can do what she wants.. overall she gets a thumbs up.. but then again I am quite the most loveable person ever

LegacyUser · 14-12-2005 11:37am

Clár... take a few deep breaths. It's nearly Christmas. He's going to eat red meat AND turkey for the next 4 weeks. Why don't you buy him some sweets? In fairness, it sounds like the boy will never go hungry! I should meet this Mum....

But FAIR PLAY TO YOU for cooking in the first place. Good lord, I though ye girls that cook were a dying breed.

Off the point a little here I know but: I have this joke with a few mates of mine: If we wanna starve, we'll marry an Irish girl. If we wanna be big, fat but happy, we'll probably find a foreigner. Having rented in apartments with everything from Irish, Spanish, Italian, Russian, Polish and Czech girls down through the years, we definitely have a point. I'd arrive home on a typical day and there'd be a big pot of something on the stove whenever a foreigner was home. It was heaven! The Irish ones... well... they were busy eating hunky dorys, takeaways and drinking white wine for dinner... Followed by Weight Watchers yoghurts or Tesco Healthy Living 0% Fat cream cheese or something that. Trust me lads... live with a polish girl who can cook Pierogi and Bigos! You will never look sideways at another woman ever again!

The Corinthian · 14-12-2005 1:10pm

Seraphina wrote:

look, yer not his mother, you cant control his diet, get over it.

No, but he has obviously sought matriarchal qualities in the woman he’s with and depending on how laid back or weak willed he is she can control his diet, not to mention every other part of his life.

To the OP: You and his mother are rivals. Try being Italian and you’ll get to see this sort of thing all the time. Conflicts like this are never fully resolved as you will never replace his mother and she will never... well, you know what I mean. At best, you will eventually be able to demarcate lines of posession.

As for him, there are plenty of men who like matriarchal women, for numerous reasons. It’s not necessarily because he’s a wuss; it could well be that he knows that he would simply walk all over a weaker willed woman. Not uncommon, as I suggested.

kerrymaid · 22-12-2005 12:34am

Mother in laws are notoriously awkward and bad minded - she probably thinks you don't feed him or look after him so she spurlges on steak and hearty dinners! You will never be good enough for her boy - get used to it ha ha
You own your own feelings and when she does that you must try to respond with charm and not stress yourself out (I do too) I was once at a party with an ex's parents and she kept saying John (or whatever) come over here and meet Mairead's daughter she's a pharmacist etc leaving me sitting on my own with the ol' oddball of the party. Ignore, ignore, ignore - try to get him to move as far away as possible

LegacyUser · 22-12-2005 1:27am

Will you putt a ****ing muzzle on yourself?

Nevyn · 22-12-2005 1:56am

cheesedude
Banned for 1 week for personal abuse.
Do read the charter.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal.

Chucky the tree · 22-12-2005 9:34pm

on second thoughts..

Kablamo! · 23-12-2005 8:53am

look, if it wasn't for her, he wouldn't be here.
relax.
if he wants to go out and eat dead animal off the side of the road who are you to say he can't?
he's a boyfriend, not a toy.

Mother in Laws (total rant)

Comments