Im 20 old male and im a virgin is there something wrong with me

LegacyUser

Ive had a girlfriend but never had sex as it was only short love story. It still hurts badly but I feel that im the only one that will never find true love an be happy

Victor

You are not alone in being (a) male (b) 20 (c) a virgin (d) hurt after being dumped or any combination thereof.

Hang in there, put out (but not too much) and you'll get some.

Blisterman

Lots of my friends, who are 19/20 are still virgins. There's nothing wrong with them. They just havent met someone right yet.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Repli

If you are still the same in another 20 years THEN you have a problem.. and you can make a movie about it 20 years old is so young just chill out! There are some people your age who have never even been in a relationship so at least you know you're capable of that..

padser

Unfortunatly the site linked early on in this thread doesnt seem to be working anymore. And granted this guy is 19 as far as i can remember. But all that aside this thread should really show you that you really, really, really could be so much more worse off. You should get the gist from reading it. Some of the highlights have been transfered!

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054850372

So in answer to your question, you are clearly not the only one.

cavo

are you telling me that you are a 20 year old male and have NEVER had sex?How far have you gone?A bit of tiity grabbing perhaps?Or maybe a good feel through her trousers?

Victor

cavo wrote:

are you telling me that you are a 20 year old male and have NEVER had sex?How far have you gone?A bit of tiity grabbing perhaps?Or maybe a good feel through her trousers?

Grow up

Atrocity

Mr.x wrote:

Ive had a girlfriend but never had sex as it was only short love story. It still hurts badly but I feel that im the only one that will never find true love an be happy

If everyone who felt that way was right, then there'd be a swift population decline. No, there's nothing wrong with you. Give it time. Worrying like this won't help.

Fast_Mover

ur still 20..ur young..my best friends cousin is 20 and he still a virgin so ur not alone. I find nothing wrong with it..ye just havnt meet the right girl yet. dont stress or worry about it..just go out and socialise with your mates and hopefully that right girl will come along sooner rather then later for u!

i havnt found my true love yet either...but hey im still only 18..in another 10 years il be getting bit worried alryt but for now il have some fun!!!

f_m

Atrocity

By the way, this talk of meeting the right girl is totally different to the issue of losing your virginity. They don't always come hand in hand. If you think that when you lose your virginity it will definitely translate into love or happiness then you're wrong. Focus on finding a relationship and talking to more girls. That's the important thing.

LegacyUser

Mr.x wrote:

Im 20 old male and im a virgin is there something wrong with me

Answer: No

Change the question to something like:

Mr.x wrote:

Im 28 old male and im a virgin is there something wrong with me

Answer: No

Change it again to:

Mr.x wrote:

Im 42 old male and im a virgin is there something wrong with me

Answer: No... what if you're "asexual" (look it up).


my opinion for all it's worth: it doesn't matter when the hell you do it for the first time... and to be perfectly honest, it's none of anyone's business unless you like blabbering on about it.

dundalk cailin

im a 19 y/o virgin OP, i dont feel that much pressiure to lose virginity, even though most of my friends have..some of them regret it..anyway i just havent met the right person, i have had the opportunity with Mr Right Now, but he wasnt Mr Right.. id like to lose virginity in next year or so, but its not life-or-death, i know a girl my age who i suspect has never kissed anyone, but it aint stopping me being friends with her. everyone's different. you've had a relationship, albeit a short one, that didnt work out, you're young, enjoy singledom .i am, as now isnt an ideal time for a relationship due to me being abroad, there is someone at home, who, if i wasnt here, id likely be going out with him. maybe we'll get together at a later stage, maybe not, who knows

chern0byl

Solitaryman666 wrote:

This post has been deleted.

Yeah right....Im sure you were saying that at the time.
"oh this is so so good...if only you meant something to me!"

Atrocity

dundalk cailin wrote:

i have had the opportunity with Mr Right Now, but he wasnt Mr Right..


id like to lose virginity in next year or so

well, if you are looking for Mr Right, then there should be no time limit.
Hate to be cynical, but usually Mr. Right transforms into Mr Wrong the next morning. Usually, not always though.

Vangelis

Do people walk through life waiting to "get some"? What a life!

Mr.X, why is it so important for you to lose your virginity?
Has it ever occured to you that other people's attitudes and experiences put pressure on you to lose your virginity? Do you want to be "one of the guys"?

dundalk cailin

its more for me to have had the experience, but yea i suppose if i wanna wait for the right person then there is no time limit

Blub2k4

The only thing that is wrong with you is that you think there is something wrong with you. I think you will end up with a better sex life as you will start as a mature adult and not an ill-informed teenager with no sense of resposibility.
I was pretty late too, around the same age as yourself, but by the time I did get there I knew what to do and how and the woman didn't even notice that it was my first time.

Dont worry about it, when the time is right it will happen, it is not the end of the world.

projectmayhem

no one came make love to you like yourself anyway.

Vikings

Thats not going to do the OP much good now mayhem is it?


18 here, same boat as yourself. Couldn't care less, my time will come when its ready, if I try force it its going to end up a mess and not what I want, its no big deal anyway.

Sarky

Yes, there is something wrong with you. You're obsessing too much about having sex purely to get rid of a label you think is embarrassing. Stop it. That will help quite a bit.

RobEire

Sarky wrote:

Yes, there is something wrong with you. You're obsessing too much about having sex purely to get rid of a label you think is embarrassing. Stop it. That will help quite a bit.

Here here!

LegacyUser

And again... here here. Crikey... why did havin' sex for the sake of havin' sex become such a "must do"? for f***in teenagers?!! does anyone put person first, then sex? or am i being naive in thinking i'm the only one who had the nerve to raise the with my g/f one day a few years ago, that i'd rather we waited. we did. got hitched. and d'you know what? it was inconcievably worth the wait. FYI - we were both 28! i reckon we're a dying breed though! bunch o'sexaholics the lot o' yez! ;-)

masteroftherealm

Wait till you find the right person, when you do it will all fall into place and everything will take its course.

chern0byl

Sarky wrote:

Yes, there is something wrong with you. You're obsessing too much about having sex purely to get rid of a label you think is embarrassing.

Theres nothing wrong with him. He's a lad who wants to get laid. Its perfectly fine. When he eventually gets some, he will want more and more...great cycle.

Bartronilic

Mr 20 Year Old look at it this way:

Sex:
+"""""""""Manliness""""""""""""""
+Pleasure
-Potential pregnancy scares
-Potential girlfriendship (nagging, buying presents, fights, friends saying your whipped etc)
-Potential stds
-The bother of trying to find somewhere to have it
-Spending time trying to have it when you could be doing other stuff

Self pleasure:
+Pleasure
+You can do it in more places
+It doesn't nag
+No stds
+No pregnancy
-Mess

Which sounds better?

The """"""manliness""""" is just a society thing, I have no "need" for sex other than to reproduce. Those TV shows are all wrong.

Wait til marriage, any ***holes friends who laugh at your virginityness just give them the finger and laugh at their genital warts and say "I told you so"

40crush41

and here i am thinking theres something wrong with me for wanting to wait til im married... (porn_star_not and Bartronilic thanks for the reminder that it actually is a thought that happens)
Makes ya feel any better, im in the same situation, im 18/f.. actually never even had a boyfriend so technically worse. i doubt theres something wrong with me for the sole reason of never holding a fellas hand, so im sure ur in the clear. idk i just don't care to have a serious relationship, if one comes -great! but i figure who needs to pine for someone when u got a life to live. til then, i'll chill with my friends and be happy.

Point of post: don't take life so seriously, its gonna be alright.

Peace and love

megameaty

My boyfriend was a virgin when we started going out and he was 20. He didn't really have a girlfriend before either but I didn't care. We didn't rush into anything cause I knew he was kinda nervous about the whole thing. After about 5months we had sex and now we've been happily doing it for the past 2 and a half years. I think it's kinda romantic that I am his first.

Point is, girls generally don't care if you're a virgin and often in fact prefer guys who haven't slept with a load of girls. It makes us feel like we're not just another notch on their belt.

TerrorFirmer

You know that idiot from Jackass and the out on bail DVD's, Steve-o?

He summed up a guys thinking on non-committed sex with a statement something like the following:

The actual act of sex; I could take it or leave it. Its for the bragging with the friends that I do it for

Sounds actually very true to me, from a male perspective anyway, its like a peer pressure thing to live up to a label of being a real man. Again, in the non-commital sense that is.

projectmayhem

MobileInfantry wrote:

You know that idiot from Jackass and the out on bail DVD's, Steve-o?

He summed up a guys thinking on non-committed sex with a statement something like the following:

The actual act of sex; I could take it or leave it. Its for the bragging with the friends that I do it for

Sounds actually very true to me, from a male perspective anyway, its like a peer pressure thing to live up to a label of being a real man. Again, in the non-commital sense that is.

you quoted a guy who lit his naked girlfriend on fire for a prank on a dvd

TerrorFirmer

projectmayhem wrote:

you quoted a guy who lit his naked girlfriend on fire for a prank on a dvd

Yes well I did call him an idiot in my original post, which is what he is, a total an utter idiot.

But regardless I think what he said about the subject was quite correct.

toffeapple

don't worry about it..go and get your self a quailty pro

panda100

Mr.x wrote:

Ive had a girlfriend but never had sex as it was only short love story. It still hurts badly but I feel that im the only one that will never find true love an be happy

It does worry me how you talk of true love and sex in the same sentence.True love has really nothing to do with sex-true love is about meeting someone who makes you laugh,can trust,enjoy hanging out with and then down the road when the time is right all that other physical stuff like sex willl happen. You sound like you want a deep loving relationship with a girl and this takes time to build up,so if i was you i really wouldnt jump into bed with just anyone just cos you want to get rid of your 'virgin'tag! f you wait till your in a really loving relationship then the physical side is soooo much more better. Just ask any girl you fancy out and see where things go from there. believe me being 20 is not really old to be a virgin and to be honest i would much prefer a boyfriend who was a virgin then one who had 10 patners by the age of 20-that would be really off putting.

toffeapple

being 20 is not really old to be a virgin and to be honest i would much prefer a boyfriend who was a virgin then one who had 10 patners by the age of 20-that would be really off putting.

just dont tell them!!!! why are people being so emtional about this...get a pair of balls and go out and get it over with..... then ya wont be thinking about it to much..and at least ya wont be worried about spilling a load in your pants before you even get to the prize when ya do find someone "special" what ever that means!!!
sex is a laugh enjoy it....you cant be thinking about love before you even have sex..love will get ya when ya don't expect it..

panda100

toffeapple wrote:

just dont tell them!!!! why are people being so emtional about this...get a pair of balls and go out and get it over with..... then ya wont be thinking about it to much..and at least ya wont be worried about spilling a load in your pants before you even get to the prize when ya do find someone "special" what ever that means!!!
sex is a laugh enjoy it....you cant be thinking about love before you even have sex..love will get ya when ya don't expect it..

I suppose it how you define 'getting a pair of balls'.To me a guy who has waited for someone special shows a true strength of character instead of any guy who will sleep with anyone just to get 'it' over with. I supppose sex is a laugh to some but i can only imagine its much more special,fun and relaxing with someone you trust and know then a random stranger.

Souperfreak

I married my first and I wouldn't have it any other way!

I am not saying you should wait until you are ready to marry or even that you should marry your first. What is the most important is that you do it with someone you care about and who cares about you.

It is so much better that way.

DAEDULUS

panda100 wrote:

To me a guy who has waited for someone special shows a true strength of character instead of any guy who will sleep with anyone just to get 'it' over with.

just realise that 99% of these guys that say they are waiting, act this way because they have already been trying with no luck for years before hand,and start to convince themselves that its their own choice that they are virgins,and not the fact that they simply just couldnt get a bird... and most of them would gladly jump the bones of britney if she walked up and asked them..

Laguna

DAEDULUS wrote:

just realise that 99% of these guys that say they are waiting, act this way because they have already been trying with no luck for years before hand,and start to convince themselves that its their own choice that they are virgins,and not the fact that they simply just couldnt get a bird... and most of them would gladly jump the bones of britney if she walked up and asked them..

Very true, the majority of 'waiters' are doing so not by their own choice. OP, does it really matter if you're a virgin at 20, I mean in the grand scheme of your life?. It's highly probable you'll end up with someone at some stage in your life and have children - as long as this happens, do you really care?, you're only embarrased you're a virgin because society (I say society but I mean the teen magazines of the world!) makes people who are virgins over the age of 14 (seemingly) feel like social pariah's/lepers. Look at it this way, would you rather get your end away over the next few years with thirty girls you couldn't give a toss about or meet one special girl in the future where the intimacy of sex will mean far more than physicality?...

toffeapple

panda100 wrote:

I suppose it how you define 'getting a pair of balls'.To me a guy who has waited for someone special shows a true strength of character instead of any guy who will sleep with anyone just to get 'it' over with. I supppose sex is a laugh to some but i can only imagine its much more special,fun and relaxing with someone you trust and know then a random stranger.

yeah very true but he doesnt have someone special does he??
he is worried about it so why not get it out of the way..he'll be more confident and relaxed and he won't be pinning his hopes on the "one"....women like confidence you know thats true..they run a mile when you seem desperate...i wouldn't take a women's advice on this