Feeling sorry for myself!!!!!

Im feeling really sorry for my self lately and I feel like I need to meet someone new, as I have found myself on my own a bit lately my best friend is gone traveling and my others friends have a few responabiltes (college, children, PT jobs, boyfriends) that doesn’t always allow them to let loose at the weekend or even go on the pull. So I sit in have a few drinks and chill out with a movie or volunteer to baby-sit.

I do have a substantial amount of bloke mates ex's etc that I would usually always go for a drink with catch up with or have great nights out with etc but my tolerance of these guys has somewhat dwindled in the past few months, They either want to get back together or just want sex or completely see fit to act inappropriate or disrespectfully towards me or again just want sex despite being engaged /living with someone...

Anyway im thinking in order to meet someone new in my love life, I have to ditch them and but now even when meeting new guys, I’m not bothering sticking to the rules to even maintain something that lasts more than a week. (Or even one night)

At first staying in watching movies with a few cans was relaxing now and perfect when I’m feeling really tired or having a **** week in work but its getting old, and im feeling myself just getting more and more depressed and no amount of shoe shopping is making up for it!!

Amazotheamazing

Not bothering sticking to what rules?

not sleeping with them!!!

lolo2

coolsmileygirl wrote:

not sleeping with them!!!

that might have something to do with alcohol! Have you tried "dating" in the sense of an activity with a guy that doesnt involve the pub? Not meaning to be offensive, its just that pubs are usually the first choice for getting to know people better, but that is the quick easy way

alcohol is not involved in the process of me sleeping with them i just decide based on first impressions whether i see something long term and if i dont but i find them attractive i cant resist...it happened a few times in the last month

and yes i do realise i've to stop doing this

the Guru

In my opinion sleeping the a guy on the first night is never a good basis for a relationship , I know from my own experience I will never date a girl that I sleep with on the first date, maybe just maybe that's why these guys are disrespecting you , they know that they use you for sex , So find someone new , its not that hard in this day and age to find a nice bloke that will treat you the way you deserve.

the Guru

the Guru wrote:

In my opinion sleeping the a guy on the first night is never a good basis for a relationship , I know from my own experience I will never date a girl that I sleep with on the first date, maybe just maybe that's why these guys are disrespecting you , they know that they use you for sex , So find someone new , its not that hard in this day and age to find a nice bloke that will treat you the way you deserve.

yeah it was my bloke mates that were disrespecting me thats why i decided to ditch them and not hang around them anymore

Red Alert

why not take up an activity like dancing/pub quizes or the like. i used to go swing dancing in the summer and there were plenty of opportunities there.

Fajitas!

Exactly, try new things, you'll meet new people, make new friends etc!

Even doing something interesting will take your mind off it.

omb0wyn5ehpij9

I know it's a cliche but you will find somebody when you least expect it. I broke up with my last girlfriend last march, we stayed for close and kept going out on dates etc... without being in a relationship. It was a messy situation and it ended badly. But i wasnt really on the look out for anybody and somebody has come along, a lovely girl that i really like and she likes me also. If you go out looking for somebody, you wont find them

BrynW

BrynW wrote:

I know it's a cliche but you will find somebody when you least expect it. I broke up with my last girlfriend last march, we stayed for close and kept going out on dates etc... without being in a relationship. It was a messy situation and it ended badly. But i wasnt really on the look out for anybody and somebody has come along, a lovely girl that i really like and she likes me also. If you go out looking for somebody, you wont find them

i totally believe that myself as in the past i have fallen in love when i least expected it
for the first time in 3 years i'l be single for xmas so i'l just have to deal with that i suppose..

Dizzyblabla

coolsmileygirl wrote:

alcohol is not involved in the process of me sleeping with them i just decide based on first impressions whether i see something long term and if i dont but i find them attractive i cant resist...it happened a few times in the last month

and yes i do realise i've to stop doing this

Why do you have to stop? as long as you're careful, you're enjoying yourself, and you're not hurting anyone, then there's not reason to stop!

Dizzyblabla

Dizzyblabla wrote:

Why do you have to stop? as long as you're careful, you're enjoying yourself, and you're not hurting anyone, then there's not reason to stop!

Yeah i do agree to a certain extent but I want good sex with someone I know eg, a boyf
sex with some one you hardly know ultimately can be very very hot but most times ends up with a terrible feeling of awkwardness for myself anyway!

Kell

coolsmileygirl wrote:

sex with some one you hardly know ultimately can be very very hot but most times ends up with a terrible feeling of awkwardness for myself anyway!

Erm...... your posts smack that you are a serial monogomist that is filling the void of a relationship with one night stands. Can you not go out with a guy (even hot ones) and NOT sleep with them and play the dating game? I dont mean play games with him, but rather just take it slow and REALLY decide that you like him?

Personally, I like a few dates to suss someone out, a bit of an extended interview if you like and let the feeling of wanting them build. The sex is far more satisfying when it takes that little bit longer to get there (usually, unless its 70's bush time or they smell downstairs or some such like).

So, tell us when the last time you were single for a period of 6 months or longer. Believe me, its not that bad. It occurred to me the other day that this is only the second Christmas in 14yrs being single, and I couldnt give a flyin fúck. Its great.

K-

AnonymousBloke

Slight tangent to the OP, but I don't agree with the not dating someone who sleeps with you on the first date. Kinda depends on the circumstances, but it just seems like an arbitrary 'rule', and rules were made to be broken

AnonymousBloke

AnonymousBloke wrote:

Slight tangent to the OP, but I don't agree with the not dating someone who sleeps with you on the first date. Kinda depends on the circumstances, but it just seems like an arbitrary 'rule', and rules were made to be broken

yes I know that's true but usually sex with someone when you first meet them is awkward enough to even led to a repeat performance depending on how each is judged by each other.
My best mate met her boyfriend through what started off a one night stand so of course I don't think a relationship is impossible if you sleep with some one without knowing them I just think obviously its not the best basis for getting to know someone better. and I know I'm totally contradicting this by judging my dates and thinking well I don't want to go out with you again but I feel like having sex with you but I suppose I'll just have to not do that in future because as fun and mostly awkward anonymous sex is with some one you might want to get to know...it doesn't beat quality sex with someone your comfortable with.

AnonymousBloke

coolsmileygirl wrote:

yes I know that's true but usually sex with someone when you first meet them is awkward enough to even led to a repeat performance depending on how each is judged by each other.
..it doesn't beat quality sex with someone your comfortable with.

hmm..fair point. i guess i've had very few one night stands when i think about it..the times when it's happened that i slept with someone first time out we always ended up seeing each other again.

coolsmileygirl wrote:

..it doesn't beat quality sex with someone your comfortable with.

entirely agree