Starting to consider suicide....

py2006

Hi guys! I am still here! I had a good couple days over xmas as I was kept busy. Been a bit down the last day or so. But not too bad.

Happy Xmas to you all and Happy New Year!

Húrin

py2006 wrote:

I seem to have problems with food too. I think I comfort eat. Its hard to explain but I think I eat too much or eat irratically. Some days I do feel really unwell after eating. My stomach feels bloated, my face goes pale, I get bags under my eyes too.

Eating **** food makes you depressed. It's a fact. So stop eating fast food, sweets and stop drinking coffee. Get some good old potatoes (which are an anti-depressant), cabbage, and meat. If you eat chocolate only eat dark organic chocolate. You'll find that in health food shops. There's a really good value one in the George's St Arcade and on Grafton St as well.

Really, get eating well and things will dramatically improve!

Victor

H&#250 wrote: »

Eating **** food makes you depressed. It's a fact.

Much of this is down to the highs and subsequent lows we get from processed sugars which give us a quick sugar buzz and then a sharp drop, whereas "regular" food takes longer to process.

homeOwner

py2006 wrote:

Hi guys! I am still here! I had a good couple days over xmas as I was kept busy. Been a bit down the last day or so. But not too bad.
Happy Xmas to you all and Happy New Year!

Christmas is a difficult time for lots of people. 2006 is just around the corner. New Year, new possibilities.

Depression is a medical illness. Its not a state of mind or something you can buck-up from. You cant talk yourself out of depression. Some people are prone to it and others arent. What can make one person depressed another person would bounce right back from. For you it was triggered by that breakup years ago. There has been lots of really good advice given here. Sorting out your diet and getting active will be a great start for you. But you need to get some professional help. You dont sound like you are going to actually kill yourself and I think you recognise that yourself. However you have issues that need to be worked through. You can put it off now but eventually you are going to have to deal with these thoughts and feelings.

The best of luck with getting on with your life. You will beat this.

py2006

H&#250 wrote: »

Eating **** food makes you depressed. It's a fact. So stop eating fast food, sweets and stop drinking coffee. Get some good old potatoes (which are an anti-depressant), cabbage, and meat. If you eat chocolate only eat dark organic chocolate. You'll find that in health food shops. There's a really good value one in the George's St Arcade and on Grafton St as well.

Really, get eating well and things will dramatically improve!

I didn't realise potatoes were an anti-depressant?? Surely too much heavy carb food like that would get ya depressed unless you were fairly phyically active?

py2006

homeOwner wrote:

Christmas is a difficult time for lots of people. 2006 is just around the corner. New Year, new possibilities.

Depression is a medical illness. Its not a state of mind or something you can buck-up from. You cant talk yourself out of depression. Some people are prone to it and others arent. What can make one person depressed another person would bounce right back from. For you it was triggered by that breakup years ago. There has been lots of really good advice given here. Sorting out your diet and getting active will be a great start for you. But you need to get some professional help. You dont sound like you are going to actually kill yourself and I think you recognise that yourself. However you have issues that need to be worked through. You can put it off now but eventually you are going to have to deal with these thoughts and feelings.

The best of luck with getting on with your life. You will beat this.

Thanks, HomeOwner

Húrin

py2006 wrote:

I didn't realise potatoes were an anti-depressant?? Surely too much heavy carb food like that would get ya depressed unless you were fairly phyically active?

Thanks for reminding me. You also need excercise. Don't worry if you're not good at and sports. Neither am I. Taking long walks will really make you happy. If you have a bike, use that too!

Roen

Well how is the new year treating you? And more importantly, how are you treating the new year?

py2006

Roen wrote:

Well how is the new year treating you? And more importantly, how are you treating the new year?

Its not been to bad on the whole actually. I had a good start to the year. Seemed to cheer up a good bit. Haven't been the best the last couple days but thats because of different reasons than the usual ones (a chick).

I am not sure whether I should mention this or not as you may think I am mad but:

A strange thing happened a few nights ago. I was lying in bed, feeling really really down. I said in my head to my mother (who is dead 8 years), "Mam, I need your help". Literally, a second later I felt that I went on to what seemed like some sort of communication with her. I felt like I was paralysed on the bed with my hands facing outwards either side of my head. I felt like I was getting responses to questions I was asking. I could hear a voice but couldn't make out what was being said.

I know all this sounds really creepy but it wasn't. The whole time I had a big smile on my face and I was giggling the way I would have done when she played with me as a kid.

I remember saying to the voice, "I can't make out what your saying". From then on all responses where received by what felt like fingers tapping on the side of my forehead. I think it was one tap for NO and 2 for YES.

I know this all sounds really strange and stupid. But I asked the question, " Will things be ok" and I got 2 taps on the side of my head.

After a few mins I remember feeling that she was fading away and I kept saying, "come back, come back" then my eyes opened. I looked around the room and began to wonder whether or not I dreamt the whole thing.

But that day, when I woke up, I felt absolutely great. Even today I feel better than I did before it. I am still not 100% but definitely better!

It make you wonder doesn't it.

Atrocity

that's really cool. See, it makes such a difference to have a happy state of mind, it can translate into success and happiness in other areas of life. there you go now, you've got great encouragement; not only from all of us but from your mother, so make the best of everything, it's not impossible. In fact, everything is down to mind. Start thinking positive and start working. Two months later you'll be further towards where you want to be

py2006

Atrocity wrote:

that's really cool. See, it makes such a difference to have a happy state of mind, it can translate into success and happiness in other areas of life. there you go now, you've got great encouragement; not only from all of us but from your mother, so make the best of everything, it's not impossible. In fact, everything is down to mind. Start thinking positive and start working. Two months later you'll be further towards where you want to be

Cheers, been a bit down again the last day or two.
But definitely a bit more hopeful and a bit more confident!

Atrocity

It can go up and down, but the dangerous thing is to let the down days ruin it all. If you're feeling bad, just ride it out and try to stay positive. Then you'll feel better and hopefully have good spells

py2006

Atrocity wrote:

It can go up and down, but the dangerous thing is to let the down days ruin it all. If you're feeling bad, just ride it out and try to stay positive. Then you'll feel better and hopefully have good spells

Yea, ride it out is what I do!

LovelyHurling

Hey, have just come across this thread, sounds like you're really making progress on your first post,so fair play to you... any progress on the new years resolutions? Keep the head up

democrates

Hi py2006.
If it gets too hectic, as others said hit the gp and take it from there.

You might get something from a post i made to a chap who was having a dire time after a breakup. And don't forget viagra if necessary, let the magic boner smooth the path to a rewarding relationship :v: (cue Barry White).

You have a right to a happy life, it's not to much to ask for, and it's absolutely achievable.

Give yourself space:
It's easy to fall into the trap of not allowing ourselves to have any fun while any problems in our lives are outstanding. But most of the time you'll just be getting on with your day, and not working to solve a particular problem. Great! Make a conscious decision, for the next x hours while I'm doing Y, problems are off the agenda, I'm free to enjoy this.

Give yourself permission to feel good, let the troubles fall away and let your spirits rise. The meditation guy is onto something, learn to relax, unfurrow your brow and let all your muscles relax. Feel a calmness throughout. Begin to see yourself as a guy who doesn't do stress. You'll find that gives you renewed energy to tackle challenges when you feel good and ready. Small steps as the other posters said, because a step too high is a wall, that means one problem at a time, and one bit of it at a time.

On the savings front, you could start a log tracking your income and spending, do an Eddie Hobbs on it. Put 10% of your income into your life wealth fund (idea stolen fom the book "the richest man in babylon"). When you start to make progress on your finances you'll begin to feel renewed confidence at achieving your other goals in life.

Remember life is a journey, not a destination. If every day is a page in the book of your life, decide to write something good on each page. Doesn't have to be "saved a child from drowning" or anything spectacular, just "had a laugh looking at a dvd" or "felt sh1t but went to work anyway" is good enough at this point. Award yourself stars and give yourself a pat on the back for every single bit of progress you make in any aspect of your life.

In all of this don't feel defeated if you have a few bad days. Some days you're up, some days not really. So long as you decide that the overall trend in your life is progress, a few days off that journey is really no big deal. Don't be hard on yourself, be kind to yourself, award yourself that happy life, you deserve it!

py2006

Thanks democrates, you make alot of sense and I will try to put into effect some of those things you mentioned.

Although I am not sure about viagra! Surely a guy of 28 shouldn't have to resort to that! I would be mortified buying them aswell.

Hopefully that part of my life will sort itself out in due course.

AngryBadger

Beruthiel wrote:

you have gotten some great advice on this thread, take it!

might I just point out the obvious, that life can be truly overwelming if you start looking at it in full, thinking of all the things that coulda/woulda/shoulda happened - stop looking at others and holding them as a yardstick to yourself.

Brilliant point!!

Al the other advice is top notch, I guess I'll just throw my weight behind the "you're not the only one" brigade over here.

A lot of people feel this way a lot of the time, and as you said yourself, us guys don't really have an emotional outlet for our problems, so they just build up over time. Try talking to someone, ideally someone you're close to, but maybe a counsellor would be a better idea depending on what kind of relationships you have with the people around you.

py2006

I don't find it easy to talk about my feelings or personal issues with anyone. Sometimes, when I try I get the feeling the other person doesn't really want to know.

I guess blokes just dont talk like that with each other. I wouldn't really be overly close to any girls to discuss anything like that.

I think I need a change of a job. I am currently only working part-time but I think if I was to get a regular, stable 9 to 5 and start going to college at night it would improve my state of mind as I would be kept busy and meeting and mixing with people!

Fanny Cradock

well, a friend won't mind listening. are you sure it's not just you THINKING others aren't interested. maybe they are and you just don't realise. try be more open with a close friend or two (maybe a professional) and articulate, as best you can (like others said: it's difficult for us blokes), how you feel. look for a solution to problem in your life as opposed to fixating on how bad things are.

try be positive in you outlook - even to the point of stopping yourself from thinking negative thoughts when you can. be annoyingly positive. glass half full and all that.

it sounds like you have begun to take some of the great advice given in this thread on board, py2006. imo, the most important thing is stick with your positive beginnings.

well done!

py2006

Fanny Cradock wrote:

well, a friend won't mind listening. are you sure it's not just you THINKING others aren't interested. maybe they are and you just don't realise. try be more open with a close friend or two (maybe a professional) and articulate, as best you can (like others said: it's difficult for us blokes), how you feel. look for a solution to problem in your life as opposed to fixating on how bad things are.

try be positive in you outlook - even to the point of stopping yourself from thinking negative thoughts when you can. be annoyingly positive. glass half full and all that.

it sounds like you have begun to take some of the great advice given in this thread on board, py2006. imo, the most important thing is stick with your positive beginnings.

well done!

Yep, thanks! I will try that. Although it is hard to change your mood by trying to convince yourself to stop thinking negatively. When your feeling really down, telling yourself that your not down at all doesn't really work.

Fanny Cradock

::::::::edit:::::::::

woops!! double post

Fanny Cradock

py2006 wrote:

Yep, thanks! I will try that. Although it is hard to change your mood by trying to convince yourself to stop thinking negatively. When your feeling really down, telling yourself that your not down at all doesn't really work.

yeah, that's true. imo, there are no sure-fire solutions - "10 steps to happiness" my arse. it's just a question of taking each thing, whatever it may be, as it comes (including trying to look at life more positively). after all, you are trying to change a mind state that you have developed up over years. baby steps and that - no quick solutions. of course it's easy to type advice to others; far harder to take it yourself

for what it's worth, i'd suggest that you now leave this thread alone, and, using the good advice that you have been given, continue to move on to better things.


good luck, py:D

py2006

Yea I guess so, but I like returning to this thread and responding to people. It gives me something to look forward to. I know that sounds sad, but it makes me feel important or something.

Nalz

py2006 wrote:

Yea I guess so, but I like returning to this thread and responding to people. It gives me something to look forward to. I know that sounds sad, but it makes me feel important or something.

I know what ya mean but try joinin in on other threads (more lighthearted ones) on boards.. or talk to people offline about it...might pay off

LegacyUser

listen you're just stuck in a rut. i'm 20 and i have the same feelings. and its usually a result of having too much time to think. i know that sounds weird but if im busy and actively doing things then i feel better about myself. what you need to do is stop sitting around and thinking about what happened to you before. it's not healthy and it wont help you. i know it sounds a bit retarded but you seem to me to not be very active in anything. if you're sitting around like that of course you're going to get depressed. im on my christmas holidays from college at the moment and i am doing absolutely nothing, just relying on other people to get in touch with me and i found that it is really really really getting me down. so i started being productive, not necessarily going out and joining clubs or whatever, i started getting up early and cleaning, sorting, fixing, painting things. i felt like i was doing something, fufilling something whether it be noticed or not. i kinda got a sense of purpose again. if you're eating erratically and not leaving the house that will make you mentally unstable enough. i know that feeling when you've done it, you feel all dizzy and have a kind of headache and get really pale. just make a rule where you dont eat 2 hours before going to bed or something. you need routine in your life because you seem to be completely disorientated and kind of wallowing and its not a good thing to do at all. i think you need to take small steps. stop going to bed at strange hours of the night(and i know you do), start getting up earlier. i tend to get really depressed when i'm up and everyone i know is in bed, its very lonely because it means you're not getting up until 1 or two in the day the next day when most of society is buzzing. you'll automatically boost your esteem then. i think you need to give yourself tasks and routines with the main aim of getting a vague life plan. you're still very young so its definitely not too late so dont think like that. maybe you should look at getting a full time job. as depressing as it sounds, i think it would be good for you because you'd get to interact instead of being completely alone and not leaving the house. on a bit of a side note www.nixers.ie is excellent for getting jobs.

py2006

Cheers buddy! You make alot of sense. I will try and do that. I remember my dad used to quote this saying alot when I was young. (I am not sure who originally said/wrote it)

"Early to bed, early to rise. Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise"

Kinda making sense to me now!

JustCoz

Hey, don't let everything get on top of you. You are probably thinking about suicide because of the time of year, alot of people get depressed around the holidays but you're only 28, you have loads to look forward to.

You are obviously a sensitive guy and girls love that but I really believe in the saying that before anyone else can love you, you have to love yourself. If you give out an unconfident vibe people pick up on it. But once you start to feel comfortable in your own skin you will send out a positive vibe that you won't even realise and people will respond positively to you.

Don't let your problems own you coz your young carefree and single and can do anything you want with your life. Just start by building up your self-esteem.

py2006

JustCoz wrote:

You are obviously a sensitive guy and girls love that

Tell me about it, but they only love it in a friend! The nice, quiet so called sensitive blokes never attracts the girls.

They go for the bastards who treat them like crap and could't give a flying dogs doo about them.

Nalz

py2006 wrote:

Tell me about it, but they only love it in a friend! The nice, quiet so called sensitive blokes never attracts the girls.

They go for the bastards who treat them like crap and could't give a flying dogs doo about them.

True, but not in ALL cases...Instead of pondering to end your life, hows about changing it as best ya can. I gonna be lazy here and copy/paste from a previous thread I replied too. I havent read all the replies in this thread so sorry if theyre already suggested

Smile
Keep busy
Buy new clothes / CDs / change your room /change your appearance even
do something mad that youve always wanted to do
Stay the same person though
expand your phonebook / be a nicer person (if thats possible)
look on the bright side if ya can
put on the brave face
talk to your family if they go to talk to you about it
pick one really good mate and let it all out to them - dont bottle it up
anytime you want to call or text him/her - call your friend/sister/brother
dont tell the whole world your story - keep your head up for as long as possible
dont take up smoking/ aggressive drinking / drugs
try and juggle the whole "cryin one minute/gotta get out and have fun the next" scenario as best ya can
dont make a scene in public - control the anger
live life - the clock is ticking

goodluck your gonna need it, we all did and do

py2006

Yea, thanks Trilla. I have been trying to do some of them things on your list since the start of the new year. Its real hard to keep them up.

I contantly feel tired and exhausted and lack the energy to do alot of things.

My confidence does be so low at times that I find it hard to work up the energy to leave the house.

I haven't been into town in ages as it scares the **** out of me. I tried going in a few weeks ago and only lasted an hour and had to get home.

Its hard to explain, I feel terribly self-conscious. I feel I don't look/dress and fit in. I know that sounds weird. I tend to look in the same shops all the time.

I am ok when I have a friend with me, but on my own its a disaster.

Nalz

Yeah, well when a breakup amongst other things occurs it can lead to self analzyin and constant thinking (most of it negative) but ya got to look beyond that. I learnt the hard way, Im single over half a year now and tbh Im not fully over it (but Im gonna let on I am), because wants the pain starts to get easier then you should start making that extra push. I know how ya feel in a way, my situation differs from yours. Im at fault for making someone my whole entire life and letting me be someone elses, only for that someone else to spot that before me and realize it wasnt goin to last. That list I gave you, Ive tried to do all those things too, and most of the time it works. Times a healer, but ya gotta be doin somethin for yourself in that time... so get back that confidence, take a good look at yourself and say "fúck this now, I cant let it get to me Im better than this". Youve identified the problem, thats more than half the battle, now go win the rest of it. Your in control of your own mind, and anything that u can reach you can grab...

mikemac

I can relate to a lot of what you're saying py2006.

I used to be very confident and outgoing but when I started college I felt very isolated and alone cos I took a year out after my leaving Cert and then I knew noone who attended my college.

Set yourself a goal. For me it was it was attending the gym more often and hitting personal fitness targets. For accountability purposes I hired a personal trainer who is not afraid of giving me a bollocking if I'm slacking.

I've considering suicide in the past but it's realy the easy option.

Get yourself some books or cd's from Tony Robbins. That man is a motivational genius and I'd be happy to loan you his tape programs.

Got a load of confidence since. Even went up to Belfast to start a course without knowing a soul in Northern Ireland. Had a great time and made loads of friends.

Best of luck to you. You've plenty of friends on this website

py2006

Thanks mate!

Victor

micmclo wrote:

Get yourself some books or cd's from Tony Robbins. That man is a motivational genius and I'd be happy to loan you his tape programs.

Be very wary of "motivational" material if you aren't feeling well. It can give you a high that can suddenly drop very steeply into a low.

py2006

Yea, to be honest I wouldn't put too much faith in stuff like that. To me they are usually money making scams!

py2006

UPDATE!

I got a text from a friend who works in town. She says there is a postion that has just become available where she works and if I was interested I would get first preference for an interview.

Since I heard this I have cheered up a good bit.

Currently I am working only part-time. The money is good (€38 an hour) but I think the lack of a regular routine of a 9 to 5 and the discipline of early mornings with a long day of hard work as fecked with my mind.

It sounds great to only work part-time, but when your up one morning and not the next your left feeling all over the place and tired.

Untimately your mind is being exercised if that makes sense!

So, I have declared my interest in this job and hopefully I will hear about an interview soon.

If I get the job, hopefully it will bring back some of my self respect and confidence. I will be meeting new people, working in town etc

Fingers crossed anyway!