Boss from Hell?

kerrymaid

I work for a very cheaply priced fashion? retail chain, I know the score - sell sell sell, work work work, pick up after customers who just throw the clothes literally over their shoulders after looking at them and step on them after. I'm what the company calls a "trainee dept manager". I have been subjected to nothing but abuse from my pervy leery 50 year old boss and what's worse is that he left his own family for his assistant manager - a young woman with the most stunted social skills ever! she grunts and points rather than speaks and dishes out steely stares of deep-seated resentment towards the staff. I am regularly expected to pull the staples out of piles of paper and separate the sheets which can be used again. He's a small man that stares for extended periods (intimidating) at me and has put his hand on the small of my back several times yuck! He asked me why I wouldn't go full time - I said no cos I look in on my grandad (I hate the place) and he replied "Why does he have one foot in the grave and a few quid?" This was incredibly offensive considering I'm real close to my grandad. He refers to the office from time to time as "the bedroom" which is inappropriate since he shares it with his girlfriend. There's a million other little things but they're the main ones.
Anyway, bottom line is I'm leaving soon and I'm not after money (compo I'm not interested in) but How do I beat him at his own game?
I was gonna write a long letter expressing my disgust at his behaviour and bully boy tactics and send it to a carefully chosen number of his peers and HR managers from head office which would embarrass him but would like to hear any better ideas?
Or do I have to let it go and let karma take it's course.

turbot

Well, you have a few options:

1) Keep a detailed diary of everything that happens

2) Get some government advice about sexual harassment / bullying so you know exactly where you stand

3) Decide, with wisdom, what is your course of action. Writing to people is certainly an option.

NB, I can't help but feel based upon your writings that you feel nothing but snobbish contempt for this manager. I'm not saying that his behaviour is appropriate or warranted, though you do appear to be rather self congratulatory in your estimate of your own importance.

luckat

Get another job.

OY

luckat wrote:

Get another job.

Sounds like she is already getting another job, just wondering how to get even...

I do not think that it neccessarily needs to be malicious. Just write a letter to HR, let them know some specific examples of things that you felt were not professional. But TBH the best thing you could probably do is move on, forget about it and try to find a comfortable working environment.

kerrymaid

I don't feel important at all tbh - i pull staples out of reams of paper - the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes is knowing what an a&*e he is - trying to phrase the post a bit funny i guess but oh that twisted the knife.

kerrymaid

aimed at turbot that last post was...

Peace

Sending that letter could be slander & could be a bad idea. Not sure though.

Mad Mike

I would advise caution. If you do anything foolish expecially in writing it could come back to haunt you. Future employers may well ring wthis guy for a reference. You are young and you can move on and get a better job - put those losers behind you and forget all about them. Don't even give them the satisfaction of knowing that they get to you.

kerrymaid

Thanks peace and mad mike - it's true I guess that nothing good is going to come out of a letter, needed some impartial advice i guess - he just pushes my buttons! Gonna get out first thing after christmas! x

g'em

The retail sector is notorious for menial jobs, underpaid staff, nepotism, harassment, pretty much all the things that make any job unbearable. Many of the larger chain stores have male managers who have a tendency to undermine their female counterparts or co-workers. I've worked in retail from floor-staff to the managerial level in some very high-profile companies and trust me, bullying is everywhere. In an ideal world you would write a ltter of complaint to HR expressing your views on this matter and that letter would get seen and acted upon, but the reality is it will probably get shredded and discarded. Plus, complaints tend to stay with you, and you can get a label as a troublemaker within the industry.

You've decided to leave the job so just walk away from it. Men (and women) like that will exist virtually everywhere, but on the flip side there's plenty of quality, hard-working managers who are excellent at their jobs and treat their staff like human beings. So my advice? Leave, don't look back, and chalk it up to a bad experience.

whippet

if you do write a letter (which I believe will come back to haunt you) make sure every 'allegation' is backed up with fact, date, time etc and is not mearly speculation.

If you don't you could be subjected to defamation actions. You need to be able to produce 'facts'.

Tomohawk

originally posted by kerrymaid
what's worse is that he left his own family for his assistant manager - a young woman with the most stunted social skills ever! she grunts and points rather than speaks and dishes out steely stares of deep-seated resentment towards the staff.

I fail to see what his personal life has to do with your work duties.

I am regularly expected to pull the staples out of piles of paper and separate the sheets which can be used again.

Get them to buy you a staple extractor for a couple of euro. Saves the fingers tips...

He refers to the office from time to time as "the bedroom" which is inappropriate since he shares it with his girlfriend.

Sounds like David Brent !! Are you sure you aren't taking all this from a script from "The Office"?

Anyway, bottom line is I'm leaving soon and I'm not after money (compo I'm not interested in)

On what grounds would you be entitled to compensation? Please elaborate further.

So you don't like your boss, get over it! Bosses aren't supposed to be your best friends, they're supposed to be your boss :rolleyes: (although many workers have bosses who are they are friendly with either inside/and or outside the workplace)

My advice to you is to by all means leave this job if you are unhappy. Don't write that letter though, you may well regret it in the future. Find another way to get rid of your frustrations and do a bit of soulsearching about your own attitudes to others while you're at it.

vorbis

your boss sounds like an awful bollox. Unfortunately if you need him as a referee in the future, you're porbably best to leave things lie. Sucks doesn't it.

440Hz

Tomohawk wrote:

So you don't like your boss, get over it!

That is totally unfair. It is clearly more than not liking her boss. I wonder how you would feel if you were being harassed in your work place Tomohawk? It sounds like you have never been in this situation therefore I don't see why you feel you should pass judgement and tell her to 'get over it'. 'Move on' or something similar might have been more appropriate.

I agree the letter will probably come back to haunt you, so maybe it is not such a good idea. Have you spoken to any of the other girls at work - do any of them have the same trouble?

Anyway best of luck with it! I think you should just leave the job and put it down to experience.. one that hopefully you won't have to endure again

Zillah

Go to his office at a time when you know the girlfriend will be arriving soon. Stand very close to him, maybe even pretend to hit on him, get lipstick on his collar. When she comes in step away and look terrified and nervous. Look between them for a second and then say "Im sorry...he promised he'd tell you."

Leave. Laugh.

440Hz

Zillah wrote:

Go to his office at a time when you know the girlfriend will be arriving soon. Stand very close to him, maybe even pretend to hit on him, get lipstick on his collar. When she comes in step away and look terrified and nervous. Look between them for a second and then say "Im sorry...he promised he'd tell you."

Leave. Laugh.

Hilarious! I wouldn't advise it but lol :v:

Fanny Cradock

writing that letter could cause more trouble than it's worth. if you are leaving after christmas (which is an excellent idea) you should then just let it slide. a parting salvo form you, i.e. a letter saying he's a bollox, may in some way come back to haunt you.

get a new job and things will take on a new perspective - you will wonder why you would have bothered with the fecker.

chin up, kerrymaid.

Canis Lupus

Staple him to death with a stapler. Much more effective and satisfying than a letter not that I know from personal experience or anything.

RE*AC*TOR

The best advice is to get another job. Make a clean break - don't further complicate things by doing something stupid.

Tomohawk

originally posted by 440Hz
That is totally unfair. It is clearly more than not liking her boss. I wonder how you would feel if you were being harassed in your work place Tomohawk? It sounds like you have never been in this situation

I'm afraid I'm very much in a position to talk about this situation as it happened to me in the last 5 years. So been there, done that!! The work colleague in my case of work place bullying however had serious (undiagnosed) mental health issues, which was considerably more serious than "a hand in the small of the back" when passing behind a shop counter. He couldn't be sacked either 'cos it was a civil service position. So I left...

Sounds to me like she just doesn't get on with this guy, and this has tainted her view of the work environment and the customers. She seems to display contempt for the customers in the tone of what she's written about them dropping clothes on the floor. What have they done to her? What's that all about? I agree her bosses comment about the grandad could be seen as offensive. Then again maybe he was slagging her gently a bit about it. (trying to raise a smile or 2 and it went over the wrong way) It's all about perception init?

How to beat him at his own game? When leaving don't give him any satisfaction in knowing that he's the reason why you're leaving. Appear as enthuastic and professional as when you joined the company first and behave impeccably in your departure. Get what you wan't in terms of a good references, and say goodbye gracefully to your co-workers. You never know when you might need a favour or contact in the future.

"Don't let the bastards grind you down..."

chump

I'd agree with the above (RE*AC*TOR)...

Don't lower yourself to his standards to get even. Just walk out of the job and move on...

No point wasting your time thinking of ways to "get back at" dikheads like your boss.

nitrogen

Forget Karma and the tables will turn and all that ****e. Someone, at sometime should put him in his place.

If it's a very professional letter, I can't see how it will come back to haunt you. I worked for a computer store in sales part time a few years ago. I never got paid any commission for any PC I sold. I wrote a letter to the head of HR in Dublin, and got was was due (Weeks after I left).

Because of this, I also quit coming up to Xmas without notice giving the idea I was free to work all the hours over Xmas. A terrible thing I know but I was pissed at the time but still have no regrets. However, I had no intention of using this place as a reference or putting it on my CV from day one so think wisely before you do something stupid.

cheekyass

"bottom line is I'm leaving soon and I'm not after money (compo I'm not interested in) but How do I beat him at his own game?"

i wouldnt bother trying to beat him at his own game, hes obviously a little s*it, why lower yourself to his level? just leave and move on, no matter what you do its unlikely that hes going to change and if your leaving anyway his future behaviour doesnt affect you.

Angels

I agree with you there Tomoahawk.

I too was in the same position 2 years ago. The supervisor over me had no life ( Husband left her after 2 months of marriage & she lived alone) so everyone elses business was her own. She made me do the most awful jobs while i was there.

She picked on me for everything. The other women working with me just sucked up to her cause they didn't want to get the ****e jobs like me. I just couldn't bring myself to suck up to her just got on with the jobs.

This went on for a year, i couldn't take it anymore so i decided to leave. Before i left i asked the manager (lovely man) could i speak with him & so i did. I told him that i was leaving because i found a job that i could persue a career in. He was happy for me & wished me the best of luck. I didn't tell him i was leaving becasue of her as i had never complained herto anyone. I came down stairs after that feeling all happy as i had that finished with.

My next step was to tell the auld hag, so i did & i stated to her i was leaving because i wanted to get a career and not spend the rest of my life in a supermarket (like she had been for 30 years). She turned red with anger as i was knocking her job, she smiled horribly & walked off.

Best thing i've ever done.

Dont let ignorant PIGS like this put you down make you feel like ****. I never will.

And am currently in a job i love now. Oh happys days!!!

krd

Make a complaint to your HR department. Don't go over the top about it. I've seen this happen before to an old boss of mine. In the end it didn't get him sacked but was a contributing factor to when he did get the boot (after the complaint he was not allowed talk to members of staff without another person present - I also witnessed how he made one of the girls life a misery for months before she did anything).

If you do make a formal complaint your company generally will take it very seriously as they will be legally responsible if they do get sued.

You can also be sure that he has a few rotten skeletons in his closet.

Hagar

You can't change the world, but luckily it's a big place.
Move on 'til you find a bit you like.
Forget about him and the mean existance he calls his life.