Anti-Jokes

guitar10

Maximilian wrote:

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel stuck to his crotch.

The bartender says, "Hey, you got a wheel stuck to your crotch."

The pirate replies, "Yarr, me ship wrecked in a terrible storm and my testicles swelled with an infection while I was knocked unconscious against the wheel. Can you please call a doctor?"

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How many dead babies can you fit in a blender?

The police report indicates three.

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How do you drown a blonde?
Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Repeated absences and stealing.


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A man spends his first day in prison talking to his cell mate. His cell mate gives him a few tips on surviving maximum security in his first weeks there, and then pauses to look outside the bars of the cell.

"I got an escape plan", says the man's cell mate.

"What is it?"

"Put this blanket over your head, and I'll tell you what to do when the guard comes back."

The man puts the blanket over his head, and his cell mate begins to rape him. Savagely
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Patrick and Michael were walking along in a forest, when Patrick falls over and breaks his leg on a tree root.

In agony, Patrick turns to Michael and says "Quick, call me an ambulance!".

Michael replies " Okay I'll just go to that public telephone we saw earlier down the path - I'll be back in five minutes. ".

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Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work?

He was weird.

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Listen you shower of crap i hear that one of the Admin guys has thrown NEVERMIND2005 out of the forum !!!!! what a load of balls, potato peelers the lot of ye. his joke was as bad in taste as others on this Forum.....:mad: respect the cock knob munchers

Dave

well said :rolleyes:

FREE NEVERMIND!!111oneone exclamation mark

projectmayhem

made this 'un myself. it's great.

what do you call a blonde in a doctors office?
sick.

polkadots

Oh i've one, i've one!

A woman walks into a supermarket and picks up one small cabbage, one apple and a microwaveable meal for one. When she goes up to pay the cashier asks her if she's single. "Yes I am", she replies."How did you guess?"
"Because you're ugly", replies the cashier.

Mr.D.Leprachaun

I don't know...that's more funny in a conventional sense...either a crap anti-joke or a good joke...

polkadots

Well, how about this then:

A woman walks into a supermarket and picks up one small cabbage, one apple and a microwaveable meal for one. When she goes up to pay, the cashier asks her if she's single. "Yes", she replies. "My husband of ten years has just left me for my younger, better looking sister."

guitar10

2 fish in tank one says to the other how is your mother

Mr.D.Leprachaun

polkadots wrote:

Well, how about this then:

A woman walks into a supermarket and picks up one small cabbage, one apple and a microwaveable meal for one. When she goes up to pay, the cashier asks her if she's single. "Yes", she replies. "My husband of ten years has just left me for my younger, better looking sister."

Spot on!:D I love anti-jokes!

dlofnep

LOL, these are great. Although, I'd laugh at anything.

guitar10

Paddy Irish man and Paddy Engish man and Paddy scots man were having a chat one day and Paddy irish man & paddy scots man ganged up and kicked the **** out the the prod loving englishman