Dilly Of A Pickle

Laguna

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

LOL. Do tell us then, seeing as you're so cynical, how telling the truth will prove better than him keeping schtum.

Is honesty the best policy in this instance do you think?

No, tell you what, I'm obviously the odd one out here with my set of 'morals'. I wouldn't have done what he did in the first place, but if I did - I'd come clean, lets face it, if he does the sly dog thing and say nothing and wanders off into the sunset, what's to stop the sister throwing this little nugget of information in the girls face in a year or two over a trivial row when it'll take on a new significance, the girlfriend of this guy would then feel betrayed in three ways, that it happened in the first place AND the fact her sister kept it from her for two years AND that her ex boyfriend have even a shred of decency to come clean. There's no winning solution to this circumstance, honesty is the only honourable path left - he's lost his girlfriend either way.

Mr.Nice Guy

Laguna wrote:

No, tell you what, I'm obviously the odd one out here with my set of 'morals'.

So you're not going to explain why you think honesty is the only honourable path left?

Isn't there an honour in this guy bearing the burden of guilt knowing that revealing the truth could tear this family apart?

I think someone made that point earlier on and I would have to agree with it.

Laguna

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

So you're not going to explain why you think honesty is the only honourable path left?

Isn't there an honour in this guy bearing the burden of guilt knowing that revealing the truth could tear this family apart?

I think someone made that point earlier on and I would have to agree with it.

I said why honesty is the only path left, it'll cause less damage than if the sister blurts it out in the future..

Laguna wrote:

if he does the sly dog thing and say nothing and wanders off into the sunset, what's to stop the sister throwing this little nugget of information in the girls face in a year or two over a trivial row when it'll take on a new significance, the girlfriend of this guy would then feel betrayed in three ways, that it happened in the first place AND the fact her sister kept it from her for two years AND that her ex boyfriend have even a shred of decency to come clean.

No one is going to justify to me that he'd be doing a good thing by saying nothing, that's the cowards way. Hey, you're 'Mr Nice Guy' right?, what would 'Mr Nice Guy' do in his shoes bearing in mind that you're 'Mr Nice Guy'?

LegacyUser

Are you sure no one heard you, or suspects it? I'm sure if you were going at it for an hour downstairs, they must have heard something or wondered why you left the house at 4am.

There's no point telling your gf the truth, if you do it will be an unharmonious couple of months in your gf's house. Younger sisters can be envious of their sisters bf, I've had a couple of my ex's younger sisters makes similiar passes at me but I laughed it off, as tempting as it was. We all make mistake but in this case, it more than likely will come back to bite you in the ass when you least expect it. I predict it will happen in one of two ways, that she feels guilty and confesses, or in the heat of an arguement she tells her to get one up on her. Whatever you do don't text her sister with anything that might incriminate you.

I don't see what good can come of telling the truth. You should probably break it off with her gently, and hope you didn't get her sister pregnant. Besides if she was as intoxicated as you said, it will look as if you took advantage of her.

Mr.Nice Guy

Laguna wrote:

I said why honesty is the only path left, it'll cause less damage than if the sister blurts it out in the future..

So let me get this straight, he should tell his girlfriend what happened right now which DEFINITELY WILL cause her pain, because at some point in the future, the sister MIGHT tell his girlfriend?

And this seems logical to you?

Laguna wrote:

No one is going to justify to me that he'd be doing a good thing by saying nothing,

Why's that? Why is your mind closed? Why are you so obstinately opposed to viewpoints which differ to your own? I asked you a question in the last post that you failed to (or perhaps could not) answer...

"Isn't there an honour in this guy bearing the burden of guilt knowing that revealing the truth could tear this family apart?"

Well?

Laguna wrote:

Hey, you're 'Mr Nice Guy' right?, what would 'Mr Nice Guy' do in his shoes bearing in mind that you're 'Mr Nice Guy'?

Um, I was the first to respond to the OP! LOL! Did you happen to miss that? Strange since you keep bringing up my quote from that post where I gave my opinion on what he should do - 'keep schtum'.

You're really struggling here Laguna. No offence.:)

Laguna

I'm struggling because I don't agree with being dishonest?. Yeah, we'll go with that one.

The sister said to the parents "are you having sex tonight".. does this sound like someone who could resist telling her sister she ****ed her boyfriend?.

You're advocating dishonesty, I don't.

You struggle with the concept of honourable morality.

What's the point of the inclusion of the 'No offence'?, is that some attempt at an Oprah Winfrey-esque veiled put down?

Laguna

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

You're really struggling here Laguna. No offence.:)

What exactly is this implying?, that i'm mentally impaired because I don't view the situation on the same mental plain as you?

Mr.Nice Guy

Laguna wrote:

I'm struggling because I don't agree with being dishonest?. Yeah, we'll go with that one.

Let's not. Let's go with how you refuse to back up your viewpoints.

Laguna wrote:

You're advocating dishonesty, I don't.

That's a poor effort at spinning my views. I might as well say you're advocating the break-up of a family.:)

Laguna wrote:

You struggle with the concept of honourable morality.

No, I don't. You do. Look:

Laguna wrote:

No one is going to justify to me that he'd be doing a good thing by saying nothing

Laguna wrote:

What's the point of the inclusion of the 'No offence'?, is that some attempt at an Oprah Winfrey-esque veiled put down?

I'm not interested in putting you down. I don't know if the same could be said of yourself. What I'm interested in is the crux of your argument. You refuse to answer the question I put to you in the two previous posts. Here it is for the third time:

"Isn't there an honour in this guy bearing the burden of guilt knowing that revealing the truth could tear this family apart?"

Could you answer that for me? Thanks.

Laguna

You're such a condescending 'nice guy' aren't you? - a wistful 'won't someone think of the children' attitude permeating your posts in regard to this thread. Keeping the family together by saying nothing? - you imply that by confessing to what he did he'll break them up, he set the fuse for that when he stuck his dick in his girlfriends sister.

Mr Nice Guy wrote:

Could you answer that for me? Thanks.

What is it with you and your snide subscripts?, do you feel your posts are naked without them?.

Mr.Nice Guy

Laguna wrote:

You're such a condescending 'nice guy' aren't you? - a wistful 'won't someone think of the children' attitude permeating your posts in regard to this thread.

There's no need for personal insults. They reflect poorly on you. Just because you've struggled to articulate your views does not give you the right to lash out.:)

Laguna wrote:

Keeping the family together by saying nothing? - you imply that by confessing to what he did he'll break them up,

It is a possibility.

Laguna wrote:

he set the fuse for that when he stuck his dick in his girlfriends sister.

No need for that kind of vulgarity now, come on. I notice how you keep going back to the actual incident that the OP did. You can't seem to get past it.

Laguna wrote:

What is it with you and your snide subscripts?, do you feel your posts are naked without them?.

LOL. You're really struggling now.:)

Could you please answer the following question which you have ducked in the last three posts? Here it is:

"Isn't there an honour in this guy bearing the burden of guilt knowing that revealing the truth could tear this family apart?"

Why won't you answer?

Laguna, I think you need to acknowledge that this is the PI forum. It's not the moral highground forum. I don't think Boards has one of those forums.

Perhaps you should ask for one to be established.;)

elexes

break up with her and never go back there again

so many things going through my head atm most goin on about lack of respect and trust . mostly id like to talk to the sister and kick her ass .

you will have to learn to get over it . wont happen in the next while and you will look back in the future and think again how bad it was and tha.. bah

bad bad op

wonder if ill get banned now . hmm

Nevyn

Mr.Nice Guy
Laguna

Both of you take it to pm, this will be your last warning.
And no mods don't sleep.

DO read the charter.
Have a nice day,
Thaedydal.

Laguna

I give up, talking to Mr 'Nice' Guy is like trying to fit a square through a circle shaped hole. You personally insulted me, you suggested I don't have a mental capacity to match your own highly developed cerebral cortex as you constantly referred to me as "struggling", further adding your suggestion I'm unable to articulate my views. I give up, I truly do.

dudara

Indeed ditto. I've had enough of this sniping also.

OP im not going to judge or pass comment on the incident. it is unfortunate that sometimes us men let our penis do the thinking.

you know that it was wrong otherwise you would not have come on PI discussing it.

i would have have to agree with the people who say 'keep schtum'. Any agony aunt would probably advise the same and i also think the decent thing would be to finish with the girlfriend as it will cause huge grief if the relationship solidifies with that secret hanging over you waiting to come out.

i believe that this whole thing may have been born from sibling rivalry so take a deep breath and expect that the sister may breath it out. maybe tommorow or maybe in 10 years.

either way that is my 2 cent. i respect alternative opinions from other users, your entitled to them and just to say in advance im not looking to argue with anyone

LegacyUser

OP - cut and run. bad move on the couch. real bad.

If you tell your gf exactly what happenned, you will cause years of bitterness between them. The only upside to telling her would be the feeling of having a clear conscience - but you don't really deserve one of those.

Just say you've done the dirt.

More than likely your gf will dump your ass if you tell her you've been with someone else (just be ready to lie when asked 'is it someone I know?') - it's probably better to let her dump you in anger (at least it'd feel like something she had control over) than you trying to dump her without a reason you can tell her.

Learn from this ya big eejit.

ps - final thought - what about asking the little sis kindly to never say anything as it would hurt big sis too much?

Funky

Lol, Laguna.

Blut

Tell the girlfriend her sister came onto you but you turned her down and she went nuts at you, really tried to force something to happen. Itll mean if/when (and Id say its fairly likely if they get in a heated argument) the sister brings it up you can deny it - why would you tell her about it if you actually did anything?

Theres absolutely no point in telling her the truth unless you want to dump her as its pretty much guaranteed to happen. What you should be thinking about doing is how you can make sure she'll believe you and not the sister.

Seraphina

i feel so sorry for this girl. i wonder does she realise her boyfriend slept with her sister and went looking for advice from strangers on a message board, most of whom tried to help him lie about it and cover it up.

Funky

Yea, cause it would be so much better for the only innocent party in this case to potentially(definitely?) get hurt the most? Oh wait...

Seraphina

personally i would prefer to be hurt rather than lied to

DrummerBoy

Swallow your pride and tell the truth. Your girlfriend deserves that at least. It has nothing to do with giving yourself a clear conscience or anything like that. Tell her because it is the right thing to do.

A

Doesn't sound like the OP cares too much about the gf in the first place with the "drank too much as usual bit" - and wtf was with the couch bit?

Given the combination of the two, just leave her. If you had sex with the sister "for an hour" etc, that only seems to reinforce you not caring much about your gf, I don't care how drunk anyone was. Don't come out with some stupid elaborate lies - and DON'T for god's sake, as someone suggested, try to say the sister hit on you and you refused, making the sister out to be a nutcase - if you're going to try to do the best for everyone, don't say a thing about it.

While I would normally advocate total honesty, if the sister would do something like that to your gf in the first place, I daresay other stuff will happen in the future between them that they'll need to sort out themselves.

From the little I can tell of things between you two, it shouldn't be too hard for you to take a look at your relationship and figure out, and then explain to her, why you two aren't working out, without any lies being necessary.

St_Crispin

Just as matter of interest, how many people here would excuse their GF's if they slept with their brothers?
Seriously, if your gf comes up to you and says "On christmas night, when you were upstairs asleep, I had sex with your brother. But it was the drink.", would you forgive her?

I can't see alcohol being and excuse at all. What the original poster did was horrible, but he's placing the blame on the sister.

I agree with bluewolf and think that he should just break up with her. The only person in this whole thing who's done nothing wrong is the gf. And she should be who he's thinking about. Not himself.

The Song Thrush

Seraphina wrote:

i feel so sorry for this girl. i wonder does she realise her boyfriend slept with her sister and went looking for advice from strangers on a message board, most of whom tried to help him lie about it and cover it up.

I have to agree... if it was a girl who had slept with her boyfriend's brother, she'd be called a slut and told to own up so she could be dumped.

The Song Thrush

Blut wrote:

Tell the girlfriend her sister came onto you but you turned her down and she went nuts at you, really tried to force something to happen. Itll mean if/when (and Id say its fairly likely if they get in a heated argument) the sister brings it up you can deny it - why would you tell her about it if you actually did anything?

Theres absolutely no point in telling her the truth unless you want to dump her as its pretty much guaranteed to happen. What you should be thinking about doing is how you can make sure she'll believe you and not the sister.

That's terrible advice.

Firstly, the girlfriend knows her sister better than he does. Secondly, when the sister is (most definitely) confronted by the girlfriend, she could make up a completely different lie that would make the whole thing obvious. And lastly, the sister could make his life a living hell for him making her out to be a psycho.

There's only so far a person can go with lying.

Chucky the tree

Threesome with the sisters then dump them


simple really.

Funky

Why will the girlfriend definitely confront the sister? I see no reason if the two of them can just keep quiet.

I really can't see why for any reason anyone would intentionally take the route which would upset the girlfriend. It's all well and good to say you'd prefer to be told but what good can come of it? Alot more good can come from keeping quiet than telling her.

Funky

Funky wrote:

Why will the girlfriend definitely confront the sister? I see no reason if the two of them can just keep quiet.

I really can't see why for any reason anyone would intentionally take the route which would upset the girlfriend. It's all well and good to say you'd prefer to be told but what good can come of it? Alot more good can come from keeping quiet than telling her.

He should still leave her, though.

Laguna

Seraphina wrote:

i feel so sorry for this girl. i wonder does she realise her boyfriend slept with her sister and went looking for advice from strangers on a message board, most of whom tried to help him lie about it and cover it up.

Yeah Seraphina and anyone who said otherwise was deemed as 'struggling'. General consensus around here revolves around dishonesty.

Zulu

Laguna wrote:

Yeah Seraphina and anyone who said otherwise was deemed as 'struggling'. General consensus around here revolves around dishonesty.

Oh give it up Laguna - you're becoming tiresome now. You've siad your piece; you got the last word, now drop it please. :rolleyes:

Look, morally it's wrong to lie, and what he did was wrong. Should he break up with her? Maybe. That's between them. As for what to do next? Normally the correct thing to do would be to take responsibility and seek forgivness - but in this situation (and it's not just doing the dirt here) the best thing to do is protect the innocent party. Causeing a blazing family row; isolating two sisters isn't going to help the situation.
Now is it?

Laguna

Zulu wrote:

Oh give it up Laguna - you're becoming tiresome now. You've siad your piece; you got the last word, now drop it please. :rolleyes:

wtf?

I'm old enough to be beyond playing 'last word' and 'saying my piece' games. I'm becoming tiresome?, man, I'm nowhere near good enough for the scale on tiresome posters for Boards.

Mr.Nice Guy

Laguna wrote:

Yeah Seraphina and anyone who said otherwise was deemed as 'struggling'.

The fact that you failed to answer a simple question that was put to you FOUR TIMES I think speaks for itself. Zulu was right, this is getting tiresome at this stage. People are entitled to hold different opinions than your own believe it or not. Let's just try to stay on topic here.

OP, have you decided what you're going to do? Any chance of an update?

Gordon

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

People are entitled to hold different opinions than your own believe it or not. Let's just try to stay on topic here.

Indeed.

Laguna and Mr. Nice Guy, you've taken this topic off-kilter and have been warned for it, so you're both banned for a week.

Back on topic.

blahblah06

i dont mean to annoy anyone but does anyone else get the vibe that the sis was younger then 17 cause i defo do

Zombrex

blahblah06 wrote:

i dont mean to annoy anyone but does anyone else get the vibe that the sis was younger then 17 cause i defo do

Thats still pretty young to be shagging your sisters boyfriend on your family couch with your sister and your parents up stairs

TBH this has f**ked up written all over it. I am not quite sure what the OP says when he says he didn't know what to do so he "let it happen". Thats right up there with "i feel on top of her". So I think it is as much the OPs fault as the sisters. Possibly the sister is mad after the OP, possibly she was just jealous of the girlfriend and wanted some of that. Possibly she is completely f**ked up.

It still doesn't change the fact that the OP cheating on his girlfriend with possibly the worst person he could have. The honourable thing to do is the break up with the girlfriend (I wouldn't say he cheated) and then stay away from this family for good. Of course if Soap Operas have taught us nothing it is that that probably won't happen

blahblah06

Wick i didnt mean it like that. i simply meant any younger then 17 and he would be in deep **** am i right ? i dont think he would post it here as a problem otherwise as most ppl would brag about what they did. ie having 2 sisters

Hugh_Jarse

If I was you I would get the mum on her own and try it on with her:D ...then go fer good ol granny:eek: !!!! hee hee hee

Beruthiel

Hugh_Jarse
banned

edit: er, I've only just noticed the bannings etc. Sorry if I was dragging this off even further...

My advice as I gave it earlier remains, anyway.

"Isn't there an honour in this guy bearing the burden of guilt knowing that revealing the truth could tear this family apart?"

A family that has a girl sleeping with her sister's boyfriend on Christmas isn't too damn closely knit in the first place. And if it happens once, it or something like it might just happen again in the future. To suggest that he's the sole means of stopping them all falling apart (after doing what he did) is seriously misguided.

As for the burden of guilt, we all know that if he just tries to forget about it, nothing special will happen. Owning up would mean that he would STILL bear a burden of guilt, AND have his gf and possibly the rest of the family extremely angry at him, to say the least. Hm, which sounds easier?

To suggest that he is being somehow noble in lying to his girlfriend about sleeping with her sister is so wrong it's unbelievable.

LegacyUser

man, you better hope that the sister doesn't have a boyfriend as well..... u'd be evn more fuc*ked then.... but if i was in your shoes i would confess.... but that is only my opinion

claireoby

The way I see it, the sister came on to the boyfriend right? She knew exactly what she was doing, even if there was drink taken. She knew the implications of sleeping with her sisters BF before and during having sex. (Honestly dont think its possible for that to "just happen" OP but thats not my point).

I dont think the OP keeping quiet for the sake of keeping the family together is the right advice at all. everyone who gave that advice is placing the unneccessary burden of keeping a family together on the OP when the plain fact is the sister made her own bed when she came on to the OP. I'm not saying the sister deserves all the blame but she knew what she was getting herself into.

I have a sister, and if she slept with my boyfriend, I'd want to know. I love my sister, and I'm sure the GF loves her sister, and she may be hurt but sisters can sort things out--there's no point falling out over a guy!

I cant believe the OP could even contemplate not telling his girlfriend. the truth will be messy but needs to be told.

Blut

The Song Thrush wrote:

That's terrible advice.

Firstly, the girlfriend knows her sister better than he does. Secondly, when the sister is (most definitely) confronted by the girlfriend, she could make up a completely different lie that would make the whole thing obvious. And lastly, the sister could make his life a living hell for him making her out to be a psycho.

There's only so far a person can go with lying.

The girlfriend and her sister obviously arent the closest if the sister was willing to make a move on the boyfriend. I'd wager shes done similiar stuff in the past, or at least has a bad relationship with the girlfriend. The sister can do feck all if the boyfriend gets in his story first, it'll plant the seeds of doubt in the family/sisters mind and if he plays up the 'but I love you, would I really ever do anything like that...?' angle hes pretty much guaranteed to get away with it.

I've been in similiar situations in the past and as long as you get your story in first it almost always works out okay for you. Girlfriends never actually want to believe the bad rumours about their boyfriends, which helps massively. Youre only telling them what they want to hear.

Doodee

What i cant get is how someone can be too drunk to say "No!" but not too drunk to have sex .....

ShiverinEskimo

I doubt there's too many people about who haven't kissed someone they shouldn't have while drunk. You dont have to be very drunk to say yes and it can happen a good bit before your too drunk to perform..

Supercell

Doodee wrote:

What i cant get is how someone can be too drunk to say "No!" but not too drunk to have sex .....

And "forbidden" sex isn't a turn on??..hmmmm

The topic "A dilly of a pickle" sounds like a pisstake tbh and why hasn't the OP responded to anyone yet?

To the bin is where this needs to go imho.

similiar thing happened to me a while ago,
dont say f**k all because you'll end up being the worst in the world
i'l never say a word!

its amazing how much people betray their nearest and dearest though
If my sister did that i'd f**king kill her well shes too young to now but i know i'l have to watch my boyfriends around her when shes older

Chucky the tree

claireoby wrote:

I have a sister, and if she slept with my boyfriend, I'd want to know. I love my sister, and I'm sure the GF loves her sister, and she may be hurt but sisters can sort things out--there's no point falling out over a guy!

I cant believe the OP could even contemplate not telling his girlfriend. the truth will be messy but needs to be told.

Then let the sister tell his girlfriend. The truth doesnt need to be told. Its too messy for him. IF he does if runs the risk of getting a good hiding off the dad, everyone finding out what he did - girls wouldnt excactly be queing up to date him.

I cant think of any good reasons to tell her, yet plenty not too.

ando

Bail out. Dump your gf now. The last thing I'd want is to eventually get married, have kids and then get this blown in my face when the sister decides to destroy my life

Victor

I think this thread has reached a certain stage and I'm going to close it.

Feel free to open a new thread if necessary.