Girlfriend

LegacyUser · 31-12-2005 1:53am #1

Ok I ve been this girl now with a few weeks, things seem to going good enough really, Im 3 years older than her but that not an issue for either of us, We love going to the cinema and headin out, there just seem to moments when we have noting to say to each other, awarkard silence's you know, What should we be talking about? we do most couples do when they are starting off?

There is only so much cinema you can goto see?

elexes · 31-12-2005 3:11am

silence is golden
knowing that you can have silence between 2 people and still know that you dont have to fill it with words etc.. just eachothers company .

or

how dose she like her toast
what color is the sky
what way dose she like her tea
favorite cartoons when kids
where has she been on holidays

simu · 31-12-2005 3:12am

Kiss!

Laguna · 31-12-2005 3:15am

Well it's only a fledgling relationship, not everyone has the gift of the gab.. the only advice I can give is the more you see of each other the more comfortable you become around each other, by then it'll be second nature.

Until then, maybe do things that involve debate/discussion - go to museums/galleries/arthouse films, heheh I know it sounds pretensious, but those sort of things invoke serious, serious amounts of conversation!

dudara · 31-12-2005 3:16am

Seriously, a friend who just read this said "sex". At the start of a relationship, it's about eroticism and sex. Not cinema, even though cinema could lead to that.

If you only want cinema and so on, then it's a friendship, don't confuse that with a relationship. At the start of a romance, all you want to do is be in each others pant

elexes · 31-12-2005 3:17am

dudara wrote:

Seriously, a friend who just read this said "sex". At the start of a relationship, it's about eroticism and sex. Not cinema, even though cinema could lead to that.

If you only want cinema and so on, then it's a friendship, don't confuse that with a relationship. At the start of a romance, all you want to do is be in each others pant

he could be 15 years old that would make her 12

doubtfull but a possibility

Laguna · 31-12-2005 3:18am

dudara wrote:

At the start of a romance, all you want to do is be in each others pant

That's a generalisation, not everyone is like that.

dudara · 31-12-2005 3:22am

OK, being a moderator and a little tipsy can lead to bad things, but ask the question, why are you into this person? Obviously you like her sexually, otherwise there would not be this interest.

Thinking about it, why do you find it so hard to talk to her about other things? Is it just sexual? Or do you really like this person for the way she thinks?

Fanny Cradock · 31-12-2005 3:26am

there is not a set of topics that all couples should be discussing. nobody here can tell you what to say to you gf to fill in the awkward silences. it's analogous to saying "tell me what to say to my friends".

if you guys have only been going out for a few weeks then you still have to get to know each other. maybe it will all come good in time. the more you worry about filling the silences, the more forced a conversation becomes. just take it easy, and if needs be ask her questions about herself. if you guys have nothing to say after a time together maybe then it's not worth it, but it's still early days.

senordingdong · 31-12-2005 3:27am

Hahahah Dudara, he said the air is fileld with awkward silences..not sexual tension!

To the OP...just don't try to force a conversation and act naturally...be yourself and all that gear.
If all else fails, just take her hand.

Laguna · 31-12-2005 3:29am

Hmm, you're right there Dudara, initial attraction is sexually based... maybe the OP and his new girlfriend are not extroverts and together they just clam up, but hey, you saw Pulp Fiction right? - remember what Uma Thurman said to John Travolta at the diner? - why do people feel the need to talk **** to feel comfortable?, you know you've found someone special when you can shut the **** up and enjoy a silence together

dudara · 31-12-2005 3:32am

That's very true Laguna. With the right person the silence is comfortable even enjoyable.

[Jackass] · 31-12-2005 3:47am

ahh, i wouldn't worry about it man, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, watching tv, in cinema, eating..whatever, you don't need to be yapping all the way, you obvopusly enjoy eachothers company anyway, and in time as you get to know eachother more...as with any relationship/friendship, conversation & closeness develops naturally...all i would say is don't talk for the sake of it, and just spew crap (didnt someone already suggest discussing the colour of the sky?) Cause that's the stuff that'll make it uncomfortable!!

LegacyUser · 31-12-2005 1:15pm

yeah I suppose, Its just id really like to get to know her, I feel at the moment we are only using each other to have fun, which I dont have a problem with but I dont like been a user u know, what do the rest of ye guys do with yer girlfriends?

Nevyn · 31-12-2005 1:55pm

Well then change things so you are not using each other to go the pictures with. Get her to spend the day with you , get into town and get tickets for the tour buses either the one that goes arround the city or the one that does the tour of places http://www.dublinbus.ie/your_journey/sightseeing_tours.asp

Spend the time just being together and talk about everything and anything with out distrations. You have to share stuff with each other, best/worest/funniest christmas the list is endless.

Miss Fluff · 31-12-2005 2:28pm

You're not going to get much conversation in at the cinema.;) Partake in an activity that will get you talking, go on the Dublin Ghost Tour, go bowling or whatever and don't feel the compulsion to talk all the time, take your time to get to know one another, that's half the fun

Lone Stone · 31-12-2005 4:59pm

Poke her around the eye untill you get a reaction
then say i didnt poke anyone you nutter this relationship is over goodbye !
and storm out
yea see do it like a pro.......

projectmayhem · 31-12-2005 9:08pm

if you went to the cinema and after need something to talk about - talk about the film! usually leads on to other things.. eg.

that film was good / the film sucked
X is a good actor / X sucks
i liked that other film X was in / X has been in a few stinkers
someone said i look like X / X is ugly

or whatever.

jimmycrackcorm · 02-01-2006 6:25am

Just think about when you get married and are obliged to say nothing to your partner.

Dave · 02-01-2006 5:56pm

Start talking about the future names for potential kids. Honeymoon arrangements etc. Chicks love that type of stuff

But seriously, just talk about random sh*te. Comment on people on the street. College, drinking, sex. Everything can be a conversation, depending on the type of person she is. Take the piss out of her too in a joking way. Take the piss out of yourself. It´s all good.

seamus · 02-01-2006 6:03pm

The next time it happens, look at her, say "Hey", when she looks over, give her a big, soft, sensual kiss. Simple.

In the early parts of a relationship, the best way to get used to talking ****e to eachother is in the afterglow, lying in bed.

If you're *really* stuck, talk about something that happened to you that day. But if you have a habit of telling "you had to be there" stories, or making an interesting story into a brain melter, then you're probably better off saying nothing.

Girlfriend

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