No replies to text messages

LegacyUser

Over Christmas I met a few girls and gotten their numbers. Some I've kissed. Some I haven't. However barely any of them have replied to my texts since I've met them. So I'd like to know if people (especially the girls) have any opinions on why girls give their number if they have no intention of meeting you again. Personally I would reply to a girl out of courtesy, even if I wasn't interested in her (if it was a drunken kiss or whatever). Girls are always complaining that they can't find the right man. Well they don't really give you much of a chance.

seamus

Flummoxed06 wrote:

Over Christmas I met a few girls and gotten their numbers. Some I've kissed. Some I haven't. However barely any of them have replied to my texts since I've met them. So I'd like to know if people (especially the girls) have any opinions on why girls give their number if they have no intention of meeting you again. Personally I would reply to a girl out of courtesy, even if I wasn't interested in her (if it was a drunken kiss or whatever). Girls are always complaining that they can't find the right man. Well they don't really give you much of a chance.

The problem with a courtesy reply is that it opens the door for more replies. If you simply don't send the first one, it sends a clear message.

A lot of women will give their number out (or a fake number) just to get a guy to piss off. Sounds harsh, but it's true. If you're the kind of guy who spends the whole night chatting up a girl, and you only get her number when you pester her when she's about to leave, you're probably getting a few dud numbers.

You don't mention what age you are. Younger women are more likely to kiss a guy, spend some of the night talking, give their number, and then have no intention of following up on it the next day.

ando

Flummoxed06 wrote:

Personally I would reply to a girl out of courtesy, even if I wasn't interested in her

yea so would I but if it happened to me now, I'd ignore the txt. Its rude but it sends the message you want

Beruthiel

texting someone for a date is lame.
next time call them to set up a date, this way you won't be left wondering what's going on and you come across a bit more grown up

dundalk cailin

i dont always give my number out, only if im interested in the guy. i dont give out fake numbers, if i dont wanna give it i tell them. but ive often given the number and gotten no call/text which is a bit annoying, why ask if they're not interested?

Sarah**

i totally agree!!! I only give my number out if im interested in the guy and when they give me their number i assume the same then i'd text them nd nothing!! God!! It actually gets me so freaked!! So New years resolution......Dont take guys numbers....that way they text you if they wnt to see you again!! why should i do the chasing!!!

In your case OP......move on they all have your number now and if they r interested they will give you a text!

akw_old

yeah, i'm in the same boat. waiting for a text back from a girl. they least they can do is text and say no thanks. at least then you know where you stand.

Sarah**

I agree again! I always say im not interested if im not..... i dunno. Maybe 2006 will be different! But im not doing the chasing! i deleted all the numbers of guys in my fone book who im waiting to hear from! that way, i cant text when drunk either...have habit of doing that! so now all the numbers are deleted and its up to them to make the move!

Dizzyblabla

ya, I've given out my number too, cause at the time I might be interested, but the following day?? that's a totally different story!
You'd never know, they might have heard about each other, if you're texting all of them?? Would you not just meet one nice girl and arrange to meet her again? Rather than kissing lots of girls, getting all their numbers, and having hardly any of them reply.
As a matter of interest, what are you saying in the texts?

Dizzyblabla

Sarah** wrote:

I agree again! I always say im not interested if im not..... i dunno. Maybe 2006 will be different! But im not doing the chasing! i deleted all the numbers of guys in my fone book who im waiting to hear from! that way, i cant text when drunk either...have habit of doing that! so now all the numbers are deleted and its up to them to make the move!

ooh drunken texting... I'm so bad, I even leave drunken voice messages!! not good!

NikNik

Flummoxed06 wrote:

I'd like to know if people (especially the girls) have any opinions on why girls give their number if they have no intention of meeting you again.

We can presume they didn't really want to go out with you but each girl could have their own reason. Sometimes they do it to avoid having to reject you face to face, sometimes they do it so you'll go away...it could be anything. I've done it before for both reasons just because it's easier.

It's not only girls that do this type of thing. Guys do it all the time.

Why not instead of just asking for their number say "If I ring you, will you meet up with me again sometime?" Try to set up something concrete beforehand and have the phone number as a back up/confirmation type thing just to say "Are you still on for ...?"

But call, dont text.

LegacyUser

Ok, so you kissed a load of girls, and you got a lot of numbers, sounds like you had a great time.
These girls are a bit slow replying and your wondering why would they give you their numbers if they weren't really interested. Fair enough.
Why would you ask for all their numbers if you weren't really interested?
If you met a girl on a night out, and you really clicked, and you were genuinely interested, you would ask for her number, and make an effort to meet with her again, hence calling her to arrange a date, etc.

You couldn't have really clicked with any of these girls because if you did, there would be no need for the collection of numbers.

It seems like you gathered as many numbers as possible in order to increase your chances of scoring a 2nd time with any of these girls, and thats the point, you don't seem to have any special interest in any of them, your just playing a numbers game.

If you didn't really 'click' with any of them, and your not particularly interested in any of them, then odds are, they don't feel like they made any special connection with you, they aren't all that interested in you either.

White Knight

text messages are over rated in dating, especially in this situation. you dont know the girl properly .. dont know whether they even like texting guys or rather talk to them. i remember a girl a while back would ring me and chat for hours but send her a text u be lucky to get one back that week! just the way she was ..

you dont wanna bombard the girl with messages to put her off u but if u try play it cool it might have the same effect .. grrr text messages .. and you cant get what your thinking, or any feelings across either.

what id usually do is send a text with a Q .. if they dont answer try 1 more the next day or day after that with a Q .. after that i think get the hint

move on plenty more numbers to get!

Sarah**

Oh im drunken text queen!! not just one...if they dont wb then i ring then text again! so this year a resolution has to be set that i no longer make drunken phone calls declaring my love or text messages!!

To the OP, i wouldnt worry! as i said before do the delete thing and if you have so many girls numbers. Go out this weekend and you give tyour number hem and see do they contact you!!

Chucky the tree

YOu coming off as a desperate bastard in this post, so chances are your doing the sme in the messages you sent.


Thats the reason there avoiding you like the plague.

ando

Sarah** wrote:

Oh im drunken text queen!!

ah yes and I'm the drunken text King! Do you txt and even worse ring ppl at 3 or 4am waking them up...... haha, I do *ah god I have to stop that*

Sarah**

i ring and then if i cant get throught to that person....i go through the phone book to find another poor unfortunate victim!! hehe!! Its funny when i look back a few weeks later but the embarrasment lasts about three or four days!! New years eve is still playing over in my mind hehe!! Really though have to stop it!!

~Leanne~

I used to only give my number to guys that i genuienly liked, though there have been times when i was drunk and gave a wrong digit etc woooops!
Sometimes i gave the total wrong number on purpose if they kept pestering me.

Gilgamesh

FFS why do so many people think that texting is the ultimate communication tool.
why not call them as Ruthie already mentioned, at lead you can hear by the tone of their voice if they are interested or not.

Sarah**

Jesus ever heard of being to forward....at least by texting if they dont wb they might have no credit or more then likely they arnt interested...FFS ringing would freak me out!!

Why ring? I dont understand why ringing is better then texting...what happens when they dont answer what then....ring again??

Why is texting so horribly bad??

Dizzyblabla

what you should do is organise the first date before the night ends, arrange to meet them a few days later or the following week, whichever, and if the date goes well, then you'll know you can call/text....

Kulgan

dundalk cailin wrote:

but ive often given the number and gotten no call/text which is a bit annoying, why ask if they're not interested?

Taking a number sometimes can be a way to avoid an akward situtation

I guess i do it because i kinda have to!

Sarah**

What do you mean by kinda HAVE to??? Nobody has to take the number!! Men....your all such cowards! If you have a girls number why not text her and when you do whats with the they text u first then when we reply they dont! so frustrating!!

Fanny Cradock

oh please!! you admit that you got a bunch of numbers off different girls, yet you feel agreeved that none of them have gotten back to you. if you had built some attachment to one of these girls i could understand the reasons behind your post, but you didn't. get over it!!

vibrant

NikNik wrote:

Why not instead of just asking for their number say "If I ring you, will you meet up with me again sometime?" Try to set up something concrete beforehand and have the phone number as a back up/confirmation type thing just to say "Are you still on for ...?"

This is excellent advice! Straight to the point, lets both people know where they stand.

Sarah** wrote:

Jesus ever heard of being to forward....at least by texting if they dont wb they might have no credit or more then likely they arnt interested...FFS ringing would freak me out!!

Why ring? I dont understand why ringing is better then texting...what happens when they dont answer what then....ring again??

Why is texting so horribly bad??

Ringing and holding a conversation with a person shows better character than sending a text message which could possibly include daft abbreviations, poor spelling and make the sender come accross as an illiterate oaf. It also is a lot more thoughtful. While texts are handy for the "I'm running late!" messages, I wouldn't dream of trying to woo someone with texting... and if someone was trying to woo me by text I wouldn't be too impressed! It's sad! Also, as Gilgamesh mentioned, the other person's reaction to you when you phone gives you a good indication of how happy they are to hear from you.

As for what to do if nobody answers - well, it's pretty simple really - most people have voicemail and it is quite easy these days to record a simple "Hey, it's me, how are you? Just ringing to catch up but I've missed you - I will talk to you later in the week" message. Nobody could misconstrue that as being "too forward" - note the lack of marriage proposal, suggestions for firstborn's name, etc...

Dizzyblabla

vibrant wrote:

Nobody could misconstrue that as being "too forward" - note the lack of marriage proposal, suggestions for firstborn's name, etc...

ha ha brilliant!! now I know where I've been going wrong...

JimmySmith

I know several people both male and female that if they give their phone number to someone and that person texts them, they will just ignore it on the grounds that they are obviously too dumb and scared to have a proper conversation.

ps.
Due to some research i did for Vodafone about 6 months ago the delivery rate for texts was 97.1%.
The rest fall into a black hole.

Gilgamesh

vibrant wrote:

This is excellent advice! Straight to the point, lets both people know where they stand.



Ringing and holding a conversation with a person shows better character than sending a text message which could possibly include daft abbreviations, poor spelling and make the sender come accross as an illiterate oaf. It also is a lot more thoughtful. While texts are handy for the "I'm running late!" messages, I wouldn't dream of trying to woo someone with texting... and if someone was trying to woo me by text I wouldn't be too impressed! It's sad! Also, as Gilgamesh mentioned, the other person's reaction to you when you phone gives you a good indication of how happy they are to hear from you.

As for what to do if nobody answers - well, it's pretty simple really - most people have voicemail and it is quite easy these days to record a simple "Hey, it's me, how are you? Just ringing to catch up but I've missed you - I will talk to you later in the week" message. Nobody could misconstrue that as being "too forward" - note the lack of marriage proposal, suggestions for firstborn's name, etc...

Vibrant, I could kiss you, thanks for not making me have to explain this.
anyway, did you ever realise that there was also a time before text messaging?
so there must be other means of wooing :rolleyes:

Gone West

seamus wrote:

The problem with a courtesy reply is that it opens the door for more replies. If you simply don't send the first one, it sends a clear message.

The person on the recieving end may falesly believe that the other person is out of credit/power or forgot to reply.
Message isnt that clear really.

Dizzyblabla

I would generally give someone about a day to reply.. if no response, then they are forgotten about, onwards and upwards!!

AngryBadger

sillysausage wrote:

It seems like you gathered as many numbers as possible in order to increase your chances of scoring a 2nd time with any of these girls, and thats the point, you don't seem to have any special interest in any of them, your just playing a numbers game.

.........so you'll marry me right?

Everyone's making good points re: the lack of response and the point I'm quoting by SillySausage is a dam good one. But no-ones' pointed out that there's an element of "the game" going on here, some of the women you're texting may just be head wreckers, some of them might figure they can keep u on the phone and call u up if they feel lonely, (c'mon guys do it, why can't girls), could be a hundred reasons. If it were me, I'd write off anyone who has't replied and leave it at that......or y'know....there's the other thing I do, where I give someone a royal bollicking if i feel they're jerking me aorund, but it takes a lot to get to that point......usually

AngryBadger

JimmySmith wrote:

ps.
Due to some research i did for Vodafone about 6 months ago the delivery rate for texts was 97.1%.
The rest fall into a black hole.

"Due to"??!!!? what'd you do, cover some of the antennae in tin foil?

Sarah**

I like Angrybadgers point which states that he'd either write them off or give them a royal bollocking!! I'd love to see that! I dont think i'd ever have the courage to say your messing me around not because i dont feel strong enough to stick up for myself but for the pure reason most fellas would just sit back and laugh and then say skitzo or something! And we all know that word spreads rather rapidly!

But in future i'm taking a leaf from Angry Badgers book where if there is no reply ill write them off and delete the number only this time i wont take down the number somewhere else 'just incase'.

AngryBadger

Sarah** wrote:

But in future i'm taking a leaf from Angry Badgers book where if there is no reply ill write them off and delete the number only this time i wont take down the number somewhere else 'just incase'.

Woohoo! I'm inducing social progress! I'm the king of the world!

McGinty

To the OP, I have given my phone number to guys who never ring back, my guess is that they enjoyed my company and chat for the night and then changed their mind, someone who doesn't return a text or a call is rude and therefore not worth bothering with, in a sense their lack of decency proves that they are not worth the effort. You've had a nice kiss and a lucky escape. As for texting, I hate it, but has become a neccesary evil.

AngryBadger

McGinty wrote:

To the OP, I have given my phone number to guys who never ring back, my guess is that they enjoyed my company and chat for the night and then changed their mind, someone who doesn't return a text or a call is rude and therefore not worth bothering with, in a sense their lack of decency proves that they are not worth the effort. You've had a nice kiss and a lucky escape. As for texting, I hate it, but has become a neccesary evil.

*applause*

cordelia

My current boyfriend tried asking me out on a first date by text. I wrote him back something to the effect: "I would love to go out with you. And as soon as you call to ask me out, I will."
He called.
I'm well aware that I'm dating myself as being over 25, but there's a certain class, as far as I'm concerned, in calling and having a conversation with someone that you're interested in before you ask them out. I appreciate that the other person has taken a risk in asking me. If I don't want to then I politely explain that fact. There is an element of wooing involved and I like being both the wooer and the wooee. It's so much easier to flirt over the phone! Things have gotten so casual anymore. It's nice to have a little human contact, feel the attraction, hear the voice and laughter of the person you fancy. Mmmm, very nice indeed.
Texting is great and convenient, fun even. But it's somewhat impersonal.
If you're playing the numbers game then maybe texting is a good modus operandi. Should you meet a particular person, however, you may want to distinguish yourself from the crowd and actually call.

AngryBadger

cordelia wrote:

There is an element of wooing involved and I like being both the wooer and the wooee. It's so much easier to flirt over the phone! Things have gotten so casual anymore. It's nice to have a little human contact, feel the attraction, hear the voice and laughter of the person you fancy. Mmmm, very nice indeed.

*applause*

to the OP, this has happened to me a few times, yes it is irritating but its probably a case of the receiver changing their mind or giving a fake number incase she'll meet a guy who wont take no for an answer and nags her the whole night (or vice versa - female to male).

best to give them ring, i know ill do that the next time.

Nevyn

AngryBadger

Unhelpful posts will get you banned, one more post of yours that
breaks the rules laid out in the charter and you will be banned from this forum.
Read the charter,
Thaedydal

LegacyUser

Lots of good advice and thoughts there folks.

In response to one or two of you - No, I am not desperate. Yes I am playing the numbers game. Thats what being single and average looking is all about. Eventually, you find someone you do click with. But getting as many numbers off girls you think are nice increases your chances. I am not naive enough to think that if I sit on my ass all day that the one time I do go out I will meet the girl of my dreams. There are many many perfect girls for me and for everyone out there. I've met quite a few myself, it was just bad timing etc etc. But it would be nice if there was a response to my messages. Better or worse. I'll definitely take all the advice about ringing on board. Have done it sometimes but I'm afraid I'm stuck in the texters world. (You don't wanna see my phone bill). To those who don't reply to texts as a rule, I thought this advice was great.

<quote>My current boyfriend tried asking me out on a first date by text. I wrote him back something to the effect: "I would love to go out with you. And as soon as you call to ask me out, I will."
He called.</quote>

Actually just to make another small point here, I love the way people say "current" boyfriend or girlfriend. Does this imply that you are not committed to each other and are expecting it to fail - Just a thought

To finish up, one girl in particular I was referring to when I wrote the OP was amazing, I certainly would have erased every other number on the spot for her there and then. I was really 'into' her so don't assume its all numbers and uncaring scoring records.

And one person wanted my age - mid 20's - so quite ready to settle down whenever it happens.

C.