I was swindled out of safe sex!!!!

LegacyUser

Kiera wrote:

Excatly! You messed up so deal with it and stop trying to get sympathy on here for you being out of your head and dropping you knickers.

Ah Kiera, you are losing patience and understanding in your old age:p

I don't indulge in one night stands, as I mentioned in another thread here, however, I am not about to cast judgement on the OP because she did.

She knows only too well how stupid she was, and what a massive mistake she's made, but I really don't think our moral debate is offering her the advice that she needs right now.

OP, I am guessing that you are fairly young, based upon your "I am telling his ma" comment, and the fact that your too afraid/embarrassed to go see a doctor.
Bottom line, you can go see a doctor who will

a) Confirm your worst fears
b) Give you the all clear

Or

You can sit it out (worried sick) and wait to see if your period arrives.
Even if it does arrive you won't know if you have picked up any STI's (although your main concern seems to be pregnancy)

I think you know what you should do, its just a matter of plucking up the courage to do it.

As for the guy, well you have already slept with him, and you can't change that, just make sure it never happens again.

I wouldn't bother telling anyone what he did in an attempt to damage his character, because unfortunately, you will only end up dragging your own name through the mud!

LegacyUser

not_sure wrote:

Why does everyone make such a big deal out of having unprotected sex???
Id say 90% of the sex ive had so far in life has been unprotected and ive never caught or had any sort of STD in any form or the other. I just never seem to get asked to use a condom so i never bother cause its better without one anyway.

I think all that STI awareness is just a load of blown out of proportation Hype to be honest! That guy problady knew he had no STI so it did not really matter?

Just my opinon anyway.....

You are an idiot, just my opinion!

Beruthiel

not_sure wrote:

ive never caught or had any sort of STD in any form or the other..

I have never, in all my time on PI read such a naive, dangerous post.
have you been tested for all STI's btw?

Beruthiel

sillysausage wrote:

You are an idiot, just my opinion!

you've been in this forum long enough to know better sillysausage

not_sure

not_sure wrote:

Why does everyone make such a big deal out of having unprotected sex???
Id say 90% of the sex ive had so far in life has been unprotected and ive never caught or had any sort of STD in any form or the other. I just never seem to get asked to use a condom so i never bother cause its better without one anyway.

I think all that STI awareness is just a load of blown out of proportation Hype to be honest! That guy problady knew he had no STI so it did not really matter?

Just my opinon anyway.....

pregnancy matters too which is what this girl is really worried about by the sounds of who wants to get stuck with a baby for a complete tool

Kiera

Yeah SS, having a “no sympathy for anyone” day.

Plus i hate people who blame everyone else for their mistakes.

Zulu

coolsmileygirl wrote:

well I don't know exactly what her parents /neighbour hood is like but that s what would happen to me

...so it's just 100%, pure, conjecture in other words.

and course telling the neighbours is not sensible but these things come out

and they come out a whole lot faster if she, as you suggested, "let everyone know what he did".

Dustaz

Holy crap. You people are the biggest bunch of hippocrites and holier than thou prudes i have ever seen in 6 years of using boards.

In all the 'cant get over her' threads, generally the advice is "lol, get over someone by getting under someone else" but in this case casual sex is FILTHY ROTTEN DEVILS WORK AND NOT FOR TEH UNEDUCATED MASSES. Whatever about women here saying they dont have casual sex, the fact that men are saying it is ridiculous in the extreme. Fact is, most people have casual sex at one point or another and mostly this happens when people are drunk. The OP showed at least some responsibility by insisting on condom use. If the thing had broken, then maybe you could start preaching about "reap what you sow", but it didnt. The guy is clearly a tool of the highest order and he bears 99.99% of the blame in my eyes.

Dustaz

sillysausage wrote:

She knows only too well how stupid she was, and what a massive mistake she's made,

I would like you to stand up and tell the class exactly what the mistake was. Do you check your partners condoms for pinpricks after he comes every time?

AngryBadger

At this juncture I think people are just getting irate with some of the really stupid responses, and less with the OP.

but it fairness its even more maddening that there are some people that think this way:mad: :mad: :mad:

Kiera

Dustaz wrote:

The guy is clearly a tool of the highest order and he bears 99.99% of the blame in my eyes.

In YOUR eyes. She dropped her knickers, he didnt force her! So the blame is 50/50.

AngryBadger

Dustaz wrote:

in this case casual sex is FILTHY ROTTEN DEVILS WORK AND NOT FOR TEH UNEDUCATED MASSES. Whatever about women here saying they dont have casual sex, the fact that men are saying it is ridiculous in the extreme

No-one at any point said that. Peoiple did say they didn't agree with casual sex, and some of them think it's a foolish practice. they're entitled to that opinion.

What the majority are also saying is that, IN THIS SPECIFIC CASE, the OP was not having safe casual sex, because she was, (apparently), out of her head, and in bed with someone she already knew to be trouble. End of story.

AngryBadger

coolsmileygirl wrote:

but it fairness its even more maddening that there are some people that think this way:mad: :mad: :mad:

Just to be clear here, you're talking about anyone who think this guy is a prick, but that she was a fool to shag him right?......'cause I agree with those people

AngryBadger

Kiera wrote:

In YOUR eyes. She dropped her knickers, he didnt force her! So the blame is 50/50.

*applause*

Gandhi

daiixi wrote:

I can't believe the stupidity of the guy for assuming that the OP didn't have an STI that she could give him! It's not nice, but OP, instead of being a baby and telling on him to his mummy, make him sweat it out.. leave it a month and then let him know you go checked out by your doc and that you have something nasty and itchy that burns like hell and that he should probably get checked too.

Casually mention to him that you just heard that your ex-boyfriend's willie fell off. And the boyfriend before him too. That'd sure get me sweating if I was him. If you could get said exes to somehow go along with the story, so much the better...

BoozyBabe

Kiera wrote:

In YOUR eyes. She dropped her knickers, he didnt force her! So the blame is 50/50.

Stop being so vulgar & no I don't believe the blame is 50/50.

Yes, some blame lies with her, but as has been said SO many times already. She put the condom on him, she missed him taking it off (actually an easy thing to happen, if he wanted to be sneaky) Why's that 50% her fault?

Perhaps her fault for trusting him, but give her a break! (It doesn't make her an equal guilty party)

Kiera

She jumped into bed with a "badboy" so therfore it is half her fault. How are you not getting this?

Gandhi

Gandhi wrote:

Casually mention to him that you just heard that your ex-boyfriend's willie fell off. And the boyfriend before him too. That'd sure get me sweating if I was him. If you could get said exes to somehow go along with the story, so much the better...

ROFL

Dustaz

AngryBadger wrote:

What the majority are also saying is that, IN THIS SPECIFIC CASE, the OP was not having safe casual sex, because she was, (apparently), out of her head, and in bed with someone she already knew to be trouble. End of story.

I beg to differ. IN THIS SPECIFIC CASE, the OP was having perfectly safe casual sex (just like 1000's of drunken and SHOCK drugged people do every weeked) right up untill the point that the BLOKE took off the condom and neglected to tell her. Somehow i doubt anyone before reading this thread would equate "i know hes trouble" into "he will try to inseminate women without their knowledge"

In YOUR eyes. She dropped her knickers, he didnt force her! So the blame is 50/50

In my eyes, "dropping her knickers" is something that you might stop saying when you leave school/college.

Look at the thread title for gods sake. She WAS swindled out of safe sex. End of story.

Dustaz

Dustaz wrote:

I beg to differ. IN THIS SPECIFIC CASE, the OP was having perfectly safe casual sex (just like 1000's of drunken and SHOCK drugged people do every weeked) right up untill the point that the BLOKE took off the condom and neglected to tell her. Somehow i doubt anyone before reading this thread would equate "i know hes trouble" into "he will try to inseminate women without their knowledge"



In my eyes, "dropping her knickers" is something that you might stop saying when you leave school/college.

Look at the thread title for gods sake. She WAS swindled out of safe sex. End of story.

i totally agree and ffs if she ends up pregnant you can be sure he wont take care of the child at all

AngryBadger

Dustaz wrote:

IN THIS SPECIFIC CASE, the OP was having perfectly safe casual sex (just like 1000's of drunken and SHOCK drugged people do every weeked) right up untill the point that the BLOKE took off the condom and neglected to tell her. Somehow i doubt anyone before reading this thread would equate "i know hes trouble" into "he will try to inseminate women without their knowledge"

.......see my problem with what you're syaing is that you see, to think because everyone does it, it's somehow totally fine. Whereas the reality is, while everyone loves doing it, there will be cases where someone picks up a guy/girl who turns out to be a bad case. What's being said is that people should be aware of this.

IN THIS SPECIFIC CASE, the OP had crazy drunken sex with a known problem case, so wtf did she expect? She said herself that she felt he was a "bad boy", so what does she expect when something like this happens? And no I'm not condemning the OP, or people that do find themselves in abd situations, but I'm also not endorsing this bull**** notion that if you're totally ****ing stupid and irresponsible it's ok, because there are bad people in the world and it's all their fault.

In the words of Captain planet, the power is yours, so ****ing use it. :v:

Kiera

Dustaz wrote:

Look at the thread title for gods sake. She WAS swindled out of safe sex. End of story.

End of story because YOU say so??

This is a public forum and everyone is entitled to their opinion!

Mine is: I think she is half to blame seeing as she knew what kind of bloke he was!

Motley Crue

u kinda should noticed if it came off, i mean my gf does, but besides all that thats not really important. the important thing now is the future and hopefully everything works out for you.

Tobias Greeshman

Kiera wrote:

In YOUR eyes. She dropped her knickers, he didnt force her! So the blame is 50/50

Yeah she did get into bed with this p***k, but she was pretty out of it. He had a lot less to drink & smoke than her, now I'm not saying thats an excuse but it was an issue in leading to her ending up in the situation she found herself in. IMO she's about 20-30% to blame in all this.

I think the OP has learnt her lesson and will think twice before putting herself in a situation like this again.

OP stop putting off going to the doctor, the sooner you go the sooner you'll know what you're dealing with.

LegacyUser

Beruthiel wrote:

you've been in this forum long enough to know better sillysausage

Sorry, you are right, my apologies:)

tylrpower

not_sure wrote:

Why does everyone make such a big deal out of having unprotected sex???
Id say 90% of the sex ive had so far in life has been unprotected and ive never caught or had any sort of STD in any form or the other. I just never seem to get asked to use a condom so i never bother cause its better without one anyway.

I think all that STI awareness is just a load of blown out of proportation Hype to be honest! That guy problady knew he had no STI.
Just my opinon anyway.....

:mad:

Zulu

coolsmileygirl wrote:

i totally agree and ffs if she ends up pregnant you can be sure he wont take care of the child at all

...and yet more conjecture. :rolleyes:

LegacyUser

Dustaz wrote:

I would like you to stand up and tell the class exactly what the mistake was. Do you check your partners condoms for pinpricks after he comes every time?

No no, sorry, I think you got me all wrong, I meant being with him 'the bad boy' was the mistake. I wasn't referring to the condom.

BoozyBabe

Kiera:- the only thing the op did wrong was to sleep with a 'bad boy' while she was twisted.

In fairness, I haven't read many of the replies, but in my eyes, that does not make her 50% responsible & I believe if it happened to you, you would not see yourself 50% in the wrong either!!
If she hadn't have given him a condom, never mind actually putting it on, then yes she'd have been stupid & equally in the wrong, but in this case she definitely isn't.

AngryBadger

silas wrote:

He had a lot less to drink & smoke than her

See new into like this keeps coming to light, which makes me ask, what actually happened? And how do we know he had less to drink than the OP? If she's the only source of this info, how reliable/accurate is it?

Kiera

BoozyBabe:


In fairness, I haven't read many of the replies,:. Try reading the whole thread first

& I believe if it happened to you, you would not see yourself 50% in the wrong either!! Of course I would that is why I am saying she is 50% wrong. I’d hardly say that about her and not stand by it myself!!!

If she hadn't have given him a condom, never mind actually putting it on, then yes she'd have been stupid & equally in the wrong, but in this case she definitely isn't.
She jumped into bed with a guy she knew was a “badboy” and expects everything to run smooth. Welcome to the real world, BoozyBabe and OP!

Tobias Greeshman

AngryBadger wrote:

And how do we know he had less to drink than the OP? If she's the only source of this info, how reliable/accurate is it?

Well since he isn't here to defend himself then you're going to have to take the OP's word. Which I think is fairly accurate, her story sounds pretty decent.

BoozyBabe

Kiera wrote:

BoozyBabe:


In fairness, I haven't read many of the replies,:. Try reading the whole thread first

& I believe if it happened to you, you would not see yourself 50% in the wrong either!! Of course I would that is why I am saying she is 50% wrong. I’d hardly say that about her and not stand by it myself!!!

If she hadn't have given him a condom, never mind actually putting it on, then yes she'd have been stupid & equally in the wrong, but in this case she definitely isn't.
She jumped into bed with a guy she knew was a “badboy” and expects everything to run smooth. Welcome to the real world, BoozyBabe and OP!

I don't need to read the whole thread. They're just full of your opinions & other boardsters too, which I'm not interested in.

Boards is about giving your opinion to a thread, & that's all I'm doing, giving my opinion to the OPs original thread.

It doesn't matter to me whether or anyone else agrees with me, they're entitled to their opinions, as are you & as am I.

I'm not attacking you, so please stop attacking me!
I have been in the real world for a long time now, so no need to welcome me to it, but thanks all the same.

AngryBadger

silas wrote:

Well since he isn't here to defend himself then you're going to have to take the OP's word. Which I think is fairly accurate, her story sounds pretty decent.

.........

I think her word is totally inconsistent, and if you re-read her posts I think you'll find that some elements of the story don't add up. As to simply taking her word because the guy involved isn't here to defend himself, that doesn't mean everything we're being told the truth, or even close to it.

Tobias Greeshman

AngryBadger wrote:

I think her word is totally inconsistent, and if you re-read her posts I think you'll find that some elements of the story don't add up.

Do you mind explaining to me where the inconsistencies are? I can't find any significant gaps in her story. Although she does seem a bit childish by threatening to tell his mother.

She mightn't off given every bit of detail in her first post, but over a few posts I think she's come fairly close to doing so, with other posters asking questions.

Zulu

BoozyBabe wrote:

I don't need to read the whole thread. They're just full of your opinions & other boardsters too, which I'm not interested in.

:rolleyes: ...but you expect those same people to have respect for your opinions! The reason you might read the whole thread, is so you might have a clue as to where the discussion is going and to what points have already been made.

...but don't worry about it. Jump straight in there.

Kiera

BoozyBabe wrote:

I'm not attacking you, so please stop attacking me!

I am not "attacking you". You said to me directly "I believe if it happened to you, you would not see yourself 50% in the wrong either!!
"
So all i did was reply to you with the truth. Relax Boozy, its not ALL about you!

Hobart

silas wrote:

Do you mind explaining to me where the inconsistencies are? I can't find any significant gaps in her story. Although she does seem a bit childish by threatening to tell his mother.
...

I believe he/she/it is trying to prise the argument that because she knew that he was irresponsible that she should not have expected him to keep the condom on and/or should not have had sex with him in the first place. Which is not only not the point at all, it's probably a million miles from the point.

Mods/SMods and other respondents should have a good fooking look at thread and see what this girl is talking about, and more so, the obvious concern she has. There has been plenty of editing of replies, but some have been quoted pre-edit and you should stand by your words, if you have the balls to write them in the first place.

Whle freely admitting that she was stoned and drunk she still had the cop on to insist that this reprebate use a condom. A condom which she supplied and that she put on. I would presume that an element of her compus mentis could be gleened from that fact.

So YES she was swindled out of safe sex. YES she has a right to be angry.YES she will learn from this lesson.

What has blame got to do with this thread? Where does a 50/50 element come into it? She did her absolute best FFS. Her best in that situation. All this moralistic BS is laughable. No sex is the ONLY, yes the ONLY form of safe sex. Anybody ever tell any of you that? Sometimes people really make me sick.

To the OP:

Find a friend, a close female friend, who would be willing to go to a Doc with you. I don't have any facts, but I wuold imagine, that most casual sexual encounters end up in no more than a guilty conscience and some stains. But do make an appointment, that is most important. And remember to relax.

She

Zulu

...a perfect point to close this thread on

AngryBadger

silas wrote:

Do you mind explaining to me where the inconsistencies are? I can't find any significant gaps in her story.

Inconsistencies as in things that don't quite add up. As in she was supposedly tanked up and stoned, and thus she didn't notice him removing the condom, and yet she had the wherewithall to check the condom for semen, (apparently), when she noticed it on the floor. On that point, how did she not notice him removing the condom? How did she not notice a difference in the feeling when he re-entered?

Ok, she was using protection, and full marks for that, but i don't accept any of the above points. And how is it that she was so wasted, but she was still coherent enough to use contraception?

Look, overall, my feeling is the guy involved is a jerk. But I can't stand this idea that it's ok for women to be foolish enough to put themselves in this situation, and a lot of people posting seem to be saying that. Also, the intimation of rape here, there was no rape in this case, rape is a damnable crime, amongst a tiny list of the most digusting things you can do to someone, and anyone who does it should be hung drawn and quartered, but to be frank, givne what i consider to be inconsistencies in this story, I'm not even sure if what we're being told here is the truth, and so I think it's dangerous for people to start prattling on about rape.

BoozyBabe

Kiera wrote:

its not ALL about you!

Again, another personal attack, what's wrong with you?
It's not the 1st time you've done this to me either!!!

All I was trying to say, is if it happened to you, I find it hard to believe that you would say (even though you put on the condom yourself) that you were 50% in the wrong. I definitely would have problems saying that.
I do agree that she should have known better etc, etc, etc, but that doesn't make her 50% her fault.
Again, only my opinion, you're entitled to disagree & that's fine by me.


Zulu:- you may have taken me up wrong. While I haven't read all the replies, I've read some of them. My point to Kiera was that I can make up my own mind as to what my opinion is on the situation from reading the original post as opposed to having to read all replies first, see what everyone else is saying & then go with that.

Kiera had said that I should read all replies before I give an opinion of my own. All I was saying was that I can have an opinion without knowing what everyone else's opinions are.

Sorry if I offended.

Kiera

She put the condom on. YES
She smoked a lot and drank a fair bit too. YES
Therfore would it be possible for her to totally put it on wrong and it came off? YES

Do you think this could be possible?

Kiera

I’m sorry Boozy but I have never spoken to you before today. If you have a problem feel free to pm me!

LegacyUser

You're still missing the bloody point. Nobody has said casual sex is wrong full stop and I'm sure everyone realises the mistake has been made now and preaching is no use. It's the attitude of the OP that's rubbing me the wrong way, blaming the guy. For the 100th time on the thread, yes he's an asshole, but you knew that when you slept with him. Like someone else said, you wanted the 'naughty' sex without the consequences. I wouldn't put it past a guy to take off the condom, yes I'm not trusting and suspicious, but you have to be like that, with all the pricks around that would pull a stunt like this. It's naive of you to assume he cares about STDs and pregnancy.

The attitude after the event, i.e, now is also highly immature. Most people, realising the condom was taken off would have gone to get the morning after pill, greatly reducing the chance of pregnancy. She had a second chance to protect herself and didn't take it. Waiting a week to go to the doctors and insisting on going with a friend reeks of immaturity as well. It makes me laugh how many people think they can deal with casual sex and then go crying to mates when something goes wrong.

I fell asleep after so I was semi ok when going home and the noticed the empty condom to which he said, I cant cum if I wear a condom to which I started screaming the why the **** didn't you say something or at least pull out BTW is always an option not the best one but 10 times better than what happened
and yes not responsible sleeping with a guy with a known rep but how long do you have to know someone before they will treat you with a little bit of regard[/QUOTE]

hello, she explains right here about how she noticed it was empty
and if i was drinking for 12 hours i wouldnt notice the difference in feeling because i'd practically be unconscious
ive trained myself for condoms to go hand in hand with sex despite being on the pill, its all to do with the fear of an unplanned pregnancy, i wouldnt be able to relax at all during sex if there was no condom..
if your a bloke you dont have to actually give birth therefore less of a worry if the girl is on the pill most men think condoms are irrellevent if the girl looks clean eg, not a stranger
hence the reason too for all the STDs in our country

and hobart fair play to ya man.
and if she put the condom on wrong the guy would be have been very uncomfortable

Am i right guys ?? condom on wrong, not a pleasent experience for some loving(so I've Heard)

NikNik

Kiera wrote:

In YOUR eyes. She dropped her knickers, he didnt force her! So the blame is 50/50.

Kiera I have the utmost respect for you but the issue isn't whether they had consentual sex or not. The point is that she feels a little duped seeing as she thought she was having safe sex. She took the precaution and it's ridiculous to check if the condom is there every 2 minutes. All this "she dropped her knickers" she "jumped" into bed talk isn't fair and I think it's derrogatory.

I wholly agree she's 50% responsible for sleeping with him while knowing his reputation but she was being safe. But how can SHE be resbonsible for HIM taking it off ?? How can you blame someone for someone elses actions ?

To all who say it's impossible she didn't notice the condom coming off (whom *I think* are mostly male which baffles me?!) and it "feels different" is BSing because it's happened to me and people I know. Every girl has a different level of sensitivity. Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it can't happen at all.

Zulu

coolsmileygirl wrote:

if your a bloke you dont have to actually give birth therefore less of a worry

:rolleyes: Conjecture, conjecture, conjecture.

if the girl is on the pill most men think condoms are irrelevant if the girl looks clean eg, not a stranger hence the reason too for all the STDs in our country

Thanks for speaking for most men there. Might I remind you that you are (supposedly) not a man, and perhaps have no authority speaking for men in general.

You really just spout it out don't you? It's amazing really.

Zulu

Zulu wrote:

You really just spout it out don't you? It's amazing really.

Hey! stop being mean to me


p.s what does conjecture mean?????

AngryBadger

coolsmileygirl wrote:

Hey! stop being mean to me


p.s what does conjecture mean?????

Isn't this kind of an example of the overall problem here? Someone steps out in the mud, but then retreats into this "fwuffy wuffy let's all hold hands" mullarkey?

Zulu is right u know, while you're lambasting the guys in here for being unfair to women, u then went ahead and did exactly the same thing by making off that women had it harder because they actually have to bear kids, and therefore the lions' share of the responsiblity for safe sex should be on the shoulders of men.

Also conjecture means to speculate