I was swindled out of safe sex!!!!

LundiMardi

not_sure wrote:

Why does everyone make such a big deal out of having unprotected sex???
Id say 90% of the sex ive had so far in life has been unprotected and ive never caught or had any sort of STD in any form or the other. I just never seem to get asked to use a condom so i never bother cause its better without one anyway.

I think all that STI awareness is just a load of blown out of proportation Hype to be honest! That guy problady knew he had no STI.
Just my opinon anyway.....

ha ha ha, this is the dumbest post on boards EVER!

My friend, just to let you know, in Ireland, 1 in 5 people have an STD, and 1 in 20 people are HIV +.

So you *may* want to head to your GP fairly soon, ya dig?:rolleyes:

Sangre

1 in 5? That can't be true considering you can rule out half the population easy enough (children and the elderly)

So about 1 in 2/3 adults have a sti?

LundiMardi

well, i doubt that statistic takes children into consideration tbh.

Zombrex

not_sure wrote:

Id say 90% of the sex ive had so far in life has been unprotected and ive never caught or had any sort of STD in any form or the other.

How would you know?

God I hope that was a troll:rolleyes:

Kiera wrote:

She jumped into bed with a "badboy" so therfore it is half her fault. How are you not getting this?

So after she got into bed with him, if he had raped her, bashed her head in, ripped her tounge out with his mouth and then slowly started cutting her skin off with a rusty knife, would she be 50/50 to blame for that because she got into bed with a "bad boy"?

AngryBadger wrote:

What's being said is that people should be aware of this.

So you are saying casual sex is wrong, so therefore if some one does something bad (rape you, hurt you, trick you etc) to you then you are to blame because you were being sinful/immoral/whatever in the first place?

Isn't that a bit like saying betting on horses is wrong so if the bookie takes out a shot gun and blows your head off for the hell of it, you really have only yourself to blame, since you were in a bookies what did you think would happen ...

Sangre wrote:

1 in 5? That can't be true considering you can rule out half the population easy enough (children and the elderly)

So about 1 in 2/3 adults have a sti?

Why do you rule out the elderly?

As far as I remember the statistic referres to people over 16.

Another one I saw recently was 1 in 3 people under 25 have had an STD infection but half don't know about it

can't find a link to that though ... anyone got recent STD infections for Ireland. I know syphillis is up 1233% :eek:

http://www.ndsc.ie/PressReleases/2003/d609.HTML.html

Zombrex

AngryBadger wrote:

On that point, how did she not notice him removing the condom?

Normally the woman is not looking at the guys penis when he first enters her, or during sex. Normally the girl cannot even see the mans penis when he first enters her unless they are in a specific position (certainly not missionary).

In fact, since the girl is normally at first lying on her back on a bed she is barely looking at the man at all until he lies down on top of her. There is plenty of time for him to slip it off, it would take less than a second, and he could do it with one hand while still doing what ever he was doing with the other.

In fact there is a whole range of sex toy mirrors so the woman can see the mans penis entering her. And a lot of couples have sex in front of bathroom mirrors so the woman can see the mans penis entering her (i wouldn't know *cough*

AngryBadger wrote:

How did she not notice a difference in the feeling when he re-entered?

I am not a woman, but I have had sex with girlfriends where the condom has ripped and the girl didn't notice a change at all, I did and only after going "hold on" for a minute and actually checking.

AngryBadger wrote:

Ok, she was using protection, and full marks for that, but i don't accept any of the above points. And how is it that she was so wasted, but she was still coherent enough to use contraception?

Probably because she is a sensible young woman, who has trained herself to know what is safe or not. I mean I still put my seat belt on in a taxi after 15 vodkas. I can barely remember where I live, but it is force of habit and it just feels wrong not to have a seat belt on. The same with sex, the indea of sex without a condom triggers a little "hold on" signal in my head even if I am wasted.

We should be applauding this girl for still thinking about contraception after drink and drugs, not condeming her for it.

AngryBadger wrote:

But I can't stand this idea that it's ok for women to be foolish enough to put themselves in this situation, and a lot of people posting seem to be saying that.

What situation? She had casual sex with a guy she has known for years. If that is a crime lock up half of Ireland.

AngryBadger wrote:

so I think it's dangerous for people to start prattling on about rape.

The point of the charge of rape was that she did not consent to what he did, she couldn't have because she did not know he was doing it. He tricked her. It would be similar to a guy ejaculating on purpose on a woman's vigina without her knowing, when they were supposed to be just "fooling" around and after he told her it wouldn't go that far.

Now I am not sure what happened qualifies as rape, but it is pretty close.

Gordon

Wicknight, you've just made five posts in a row, not including one deleted post, can you please try to fit everything into one post, everyone else does their best to do so.

Oh, and keep on topic for f*cks sake.

eth0_

LundiMardi wrote:

ha ha ha, this is the dumbest post on boards EVER!

My friend, just to let you know, in Ireland, 1 in 5 people have an STD, and 1 in 20 people are HIV +.

Utter, utter bullsh*t.

Where's your proof? Back this sort of stuff up with fact next time you post. Thanks.

LundiMardi

eth0_ wrote:

Utter, utter bullsh*t.

Where's your proof? Back this sort of stuff up with fact next time you post. Thanks.

na

Victor

LundiMardi wrote:

My friend, just to let you know, in Ireland, 1 in 5 people have an STD, and 1 in 20 people are HIV +.

There are less than 4,000 people as of last year with HIV in Ireland of a population of 4m. Thats about one in 1,000. It is likely to be slightly higher because of undiagnosed cases, but not as high as you state.

Please provide a source for your figures.

eth0_

LundiMardi wrote:

na

Really compounding your obvious lack of maturity there, pal.

The Sweeper

To the OP:

Welcome to the wonderful world of casual sex.

It's important to remember this: your life is your responsibility.

• You have to keep you safe.
• You have to keep you emotionally and physically protected.
• If you get an STI, the person this will affect the most is you. Remember this fact. Even if you give it to someone else, what will affect you more is the fact that they'll be vastly pissed at you, as opposed to their own experience of the infection.

If you don't want to get pregnant, it's up to you to make sure you don't. If you don't want to catch an STI, it's up to you to make sure you don't. And most importantly, if you're feeling low in yourself and want a bit of a courtesy shag to cheer yourself up, learn how not to get so pissed drunk and stoned out of your bonce that you may end up in the local Tesco's carpark getting shagged by a group of four lads because you're too far out of your nonce to make sure you don't get into that situation in the first place.

Something else you may learn in the future is that having sex with someone wearing a condom is a vastly different sensation to having sex with someone not wearing one. The same way I don't think you'd ever hear a bloke say "I forgot I was wearing a condom, it felt just the same as not", it feels very different if you're female. There are many ways you can ensure you're properly protected - select and purchase the condoms yourself so you have a brand you trust made from a material you prefer. Put them on him yourself, as you did, then guide him inside you because you'll be able to feel the condom. Reach down every so often to check it's still in place and isn't sliding off (this doesn't have to be a passion-stopping security check moment, it's possible to disguise these things as a good old-fashioned bit of groping).

Lastly, if you're going to have meaningless sex with someone because you feel like it, don't expect them to treat you like a princess. There is little respect involved in casual sex. It's not about forming an intellectual bond with someone.

Learn from this.

Don't bother your backside trying to get back at the foolish man who took the condom off. He'll pick up a smashing dose of Gonorrhea or something worse in the future playing games like that. Your biggest priority should be to make sure he hasn't already caught it and passed it on to you.

Why the hell are you sitting around worrying about it? You're not too embarassed to get off your tits and shag someone on a random one-nighter, so why are you too embarassed to take a pregnancy test and go to an anonymous clinic to be tested for STDs? Don't sit around waiting for symptoms to develop - go get tested.

And take comfort in one thing - you're not ever likely to let this happen to you again now, are you?

LegacyUser

Minsesajacks thats a bit harsh. Not to mention self riteous.

Depending on how someone reacts to alcohol it is entirely possible that a woman mightnt be able to tell the difference.

Ive even heard men say that the difference in sensation [even sober] is miniscule.

Expecting someone not to lie about wearing protection is not the same thing as expecting to be treated like a princess. You dont have to wear a tiara to expect common courtesy and maturity. Since when is expecting someone not to lie about wearing protection or endagering your health the same thing as being spoiled?

OP- wait three months [isnt three months the incubation period for STIs?] and get tests done. Its no big deal-just an inconvenience. People should do it anyway -even if they are wearing condoms.

Other than that, all you can do is avoid him and then if it turns out that he did give you something then tell him so he doesnt have the excuse of ignorance for when he endagers someone's health the next time he sneaks off a condom.

Gordon

Unregtoday wrote:

OP- wait three months [isnt three months the incubation period for STIs?] and get tests done. Its no big deal-just an inconvenience.

Ehh, you don't even know and you're advising the OP to wait three months? How about 6? Or maybe 12 months?

OP go to the doctor as soon as you can to discuss these matters.

LegacyUser

Similar thing happened to me once,

I was giving this bloke head and I said don't come in my mouth... and he did!!!!






Can I sue?

NikNik

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

Something else you may learn in the future is that having sex with someone wearing a condom is a vastly different sensation to having sex with someone not wearing one. The same way I don't think you'd ever hear a bloke say "I forgot I was wearing a condom, it felt just the same as not", it feels very different if you're female.

That's the biggest load of BS I've ever heard in my life ! How and where are you getting this from ? I can tell you from experience that this comment is anything but true.

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

There are many ways you can ensure you're properly protected - select and purchase the condoms yourself so you have a brand you trust made from a material you prefer. Put them on him yourself, as you did, then guide him inside you because you'll be able to feel the condom. Reach down every so often to check it's still in place and isn't sliding off (this doesn't have to be a passion-stopping security check moment, it's possible to disguise these things as a good old-fashioned bit of groping).

Don't forget to also do a backround check to see if he might have a criminal record, maybe have shagged someone you know or if he might have any genetic desieses passed down through genes by his great-great grandfather

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

]Lastly, if you're going to have meaningless sex with someone because you feel like it, don't expect them to treat you like a princess. There is little respect involved in casual sex. It's not about forming an intellectual bond with someone

.

Who said she wanted to be treated like a princess ? Who said she wanted "respect" or an "intellectual bond" with him ? Sex is sex for God's sake. You're making insinuations and assumptions on no basis whatsoever. The only thing she wanted from him was that he used a condom. Hardly a request from royalty !

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

Why the hell are you sitting around worrying about it? You're not too embarassed to get off your tits and shag someone on a random one-nighter, so why are you too embarassed to take a pregnancy test and go to an anonymous clinic to be tested for STDs? Don't sit around waiting for symptoms to develop - go get tested.

She's looking for advice. Is this not something Boards.ie offers ? She made a mistake. It happens. You live and learn. Stop being so derrogatory there was no need for the snide comment. Get off the high horse. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

The Sweeper

Unregtoday wrote:

You dont have to wear a tiara to expect common courtesy and maturity.

If you want common courtesy and maturity then have sex with someone who you've known for more than a few hours. Or better still, don't have sex with someone who you've known for a long time as a bit of an arsehole.

And don't have sex with a stranger or an arsehole when you're blind drunk.

I'm not being self-righteous oh great unregistered poster, I'm being honest. I'm not saying the OP is a slut or stupid or a person of loose morals or anything else. A little naïve possibly, nothing more.

Actually even that's not fair - she may have been a little naïve when this happened but she certainly won't be now.

Now she's just stung. How to make sure she doesn't get stung again?

Don't have sex with a stranger or an arsehole when you're blind drunk...

You seeing the pattern here yet?

You cannot protect yourself when you're so drunk you can't stand up and so stoned that the room's spinning and you're likely to pass out.

Oh - and

Depending on how someone reacts to alcohol...

This should be something that governs a damn sight more than whether or not you can detect a condom.

The Sweeper

NikNik wrote:

That's the biggest load of BS I've ever heard in my life ! How and where are you getting this from ? I can tell you from experience that this comment is anything but true.

[/shrug] Maybe we're built differently.

NikNik wrote:

Don't forget to also do a backround check to see if he might have a criminal record, maybe have shagged someone you know or if he might have any genetic desieses passed down through genes by his great-great grandfather

...or just stay in on a Saturday night?

Who said she wanted to be treated like a princess ? Who said she wanted "respect" or an "intellectual bond" with him ? Sex is sex for God's sake. You're making insinuations and assumptions on no basis whatsoever. The only thing she wanted from him was that he used a condom. Hardly a request from royalty!

On what basis do you think it's realistic, on a one-night stand with either a stranger or a known arsehole, to expect anything at all?

She's looking for advice. Is this not something Boards.ie offers ? She made a mistake. It happens. You live and learn. Stop being so derrogatory there was no need for the snide comment. Get off the high horse. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

She's got my advice. She's the person responsible for protecting herself. She's been dramatically shat upon. It most probably won't happen again. There's very little she can do about it but learn. It's also a harsh lesson.

Could have been worse. She could have decided to have a one-night stand with a rather handsome, large, buff bloke, and at the point where she thinks he's about to put the condom on, he manouvres himself on top, slides into her and cums in a few thrusts. Happened to a friend of mine - I'm sure there's a post on the humanities board about it from me from about two years ago. He could have done a multitude of worse things to her. She could be posting here to say that she'd gotten drunk and stoned and into bed with this man and he started anally raping her with his beer bottle, and now she's not sure if she can make a rape charge stick because, after all, she was in bed naked with him willingly.

NikNik, you appear to think that you can have passionate and consequence-free sex with strangers and arseholes with the built in set of unwritten rules that says it's reasonable to expect arseholes and strangers to be decent people with a minimum moral standard that means they won't slide off condoms, turn nasty in the middle of a clinch, wake up before you and steal the contents of your wallet, take pictures on their camera phone and send them around all of your mates, invite a pre-arranged friend in halfway through your session, tell their mates you're easy/a slut/bad in bed/whatever else when you're done...

The fact that arseholes and strangers are bad boys that you don't know is part of what makes casual sex with them so much fun. But you really can't come out the other end saying "wow I got treated badly by a complete stranger or someone I knew was an arsehole, and I didn't expect that to happen..."

NikNik

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

[/shrug]...or just stay in on a Saturday night?

Most young people like to go out and enjoy themselves. Some are more careless than others. Mistakes happen. Putting yourself on lockdown every Saturday just so you don't end up off the rails in my opinion is not solving the problem. I'm sure she's learned from this experience. Sometimes people learn the hard way but that's not to say she's any less of a person. If anything, it makes her more human, unlike some of those wagging their fingers who seem to think they are on some sort of pedestal with a halo over their heads because they don't make bad decisions. God forbid they make a mistake. People react different ways in time of loneliness or despair and I resent the fact that people are holding it against her.

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

On what basis do you think it's realistic, on a one-night stand with either a stranger or a known arsehole, to expect anything at all?

It's not, if I'm not mistaken she put it on herself (think that's what she said but don't wanna read through again so correct me if I'm wrong!). He made her think he was OK with having it on in the first place so it didn't occur to her he would take it of, making her more at ease with the situation and thinking she was protecting herself.

That's like crossing the street at a green man, getting hit by a car and saying "Oh, I didn't expect the car to come" and someone answering "Tough sh!t, you you knew there were cars on the road and there was a chance you could've got run over, you shouldn't have crossed in the first place!"
--->Nonesense !

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

NikNik, you appear to think that you can have passionate and consequence-free sex with strangers and arseholes with the built in set of unwritten rules that says it's reasonable to expect arseholes and strangers to be decent people with a minimum moral standard that means they won't slide off condoms, turn nasty in the middle of a clinch, wake up before you and steal the contents of your wallet, take pictures on their camera phone and send them around all of your mates, invite a pre-arranged friend in halfway through your session, tell their mates you're easy/a slut/bad in bed/whatever else when you're done...

Not at all, I never said one night stands are consequence-free or passionate and I agree with you that she did wrong in sleeping with someone she knew was no good, think I said that in an earlier post. She's probably lucky he didn't do anything worse.

What I'm trying to say is that people seem to be in uproar about the whole situation, insinuating she must have gone mad and it's impossible she didnt notice so she must be lying about the whole thing, making up stories, stupid girl, sinner, she-devil, should have done this, should have done that, etc. It's not right. All the accusations are pointless. The deed is done, she's learned her lesson and now is looking for a little help, not a public hanging.

The Sweeper

No no, I don't think she's making it up at all. I think she got shafted. (No pun intended.) But it is possible to have a better time by doing things differently, and hopefully she'll learn that.

But as to what she can do about what's happened? Sod all really. And telling his mum isn't going to help.

BigArnie

I'm sorry. I'm with AngryBadger on this one. It sounds to me that the OP, like so many women, slept with an asshole and regrets it so much that it's somehow 'his' fault and she's all but accusing him of rape. I agree that if he did in fact remove the condom without her knowing then he's a complete cvnt but, whether you like it or not, in the eyes of the law she's just as responsible as he is that he ejaculated inside her; if the responsibility was seen any differently then it would be rape - and it's not. She's just going to have to live with it and get on with her life and not sleep with scumbags in future.

NikNik

BigArnie wrote:

I'm sorry. I'm with AngryBadger on this one. It sounds to me that the OP, like so many women, slept with an asshole and regrets it so much that it's somehow 'his' fault and she's all but accusing him of rape. I agree that if he did in fact remove the condom without her knowing then he's a complete cvnt but, whether you like it or not, in the eyes of the law she's just as responsible as he is that he ejaculated inside her; if the responsibility was seen any differently then it would be rape - and it's not. She's just going to have to live with it and get on with her life and not sleep with scumbags in future.

lady123 wrote:

I did the unmistakeably stupid thing on Stephens night, drank too much got stoned and the slept with my next door neighbour

Sorry, but how is she saying it's his fault here If you agree with the fact that he's an a$$ for taking it off without her knowing then you are agreeing with the op.

tinkerbell

not_sure wrote:

Why does everyone make such a big deal out of having unprotected sex???
Id say 90% of the sex ive had so far in life has been unprotected and ive never caught or had any sort of STD in any form or the other. I just never seem to get asked to use a condom so i never bother cause its better without one anyway.

I think all that STI awareness is just a load of blown out of proportation Hype to be honest! That guy problady knew he had no STI.
Just my opinon anyway.....

And tiz the attitude of people like you that is helping to spread infections. How do you know from your hopping around without protection that you haven't gotten an STI, have you been tested?

And STI awareness isn't blown out of proportion hype either. It's there for a reason, to educate people into not being irresponsible. Even if you haven't caught anything now, you may well catch something in the future with your silly attitude to sex.

To the OP - the whole point of this posting exercise, is for you to get advice. Not to be badgered on the righteousness of having sex. So you wanted to sleep with this guy, big deal, that's your decision, people shouldn't be getting on their moral high ground over it. Nobody should judge you for doing it with him, you wanted to, so people should respect that.

I disagree with people saying it was the OPs part fault for this whole fiasco. It wasn't. He was to blame. She put on the condom on him, insisting that he wear it. She put it on, she didn't realise that he took it off. He could easily have taken it off without her noticing. She said they were having oral sex, maybe he took it off while he was going down on her, or he could quite as easily taken it off any other time. She was drunk, she was enjoying herself, she quite possibly may not have noticed it.

And if it was a really thin condom, maybe she wouldn't have noticed the difference in sensation.

So just give the girl a break, the guy was a twat. He should have left it on after she insisting he wear it. But he didn't, he took it off without her noticing. And of course she'd notice an unused condom on the floor, a condom doesn't exactly blend in with the timber floorboards / carpet, they are quite noticeable!

OP - I still reckon you should hurry on and get to the doctor. The sooner ya do it, the sooner ya find out if you are pregnant, and the sooner you get your STI screening results back.

BigArnie

NikNik wrote:

Sorry, but how is she saying it's his fault here If you agree with the fact that he's an a$$ for taking it off without her knowing then you are agreeing with the op.

Yes, I do agree that he's an asshole for taking the condom off mid-coitus but if she's 10 on the 'regret scale' now, then I'm sure she'd still be at 9 even if he HAD cum in a condom. Seems like she's just annoyed that she slept with him more than anything else.

AngryBadger

Wicknight wrote:

Normally the woman is not looking at the guys penis when he first enters her, or during sex. Normally the girl cannot even see the mans penis when he first enters her unless they are in a specific position (certainly not missionary).

The same with sex, the indea of sex without a condom triggers a little "hold on" signal in my head even if I am wasted.

We should be applauding this girl for still thinking about contraception after drink and drugs, not condeming her for it.

What situation? She had casual sex with a guy she has known for years. If that is a crime lock up half of Ireland.

wow i love how you pick specific points in my argument and try to pick them apart, without acknowledging the whole argument.

Yes she used contraception, wel done, have a biscuit. But she also had sex wth someone she knew to be trouble. So your point about locking up half of ireland doesn't apply, she didn't meet a randomer and just take her chances, she had sex with a guy she knew was trouble, erego there was a very real expectation that he would **** her over. That's what I'm talking about when I say she was being irresponsible.

At no point have I said "there's no possible way she could have missed this", that can happen, what I am saying, (and have already said multiple times), is that while she climas to have missed such and such because she as so wasted, she claims to have copped other thing of no more or less relevance.

From my perspective, what this amounts to is a woman KNOWINGLY had sexual intercourse with someone that, SHE HERSELF ADMITS, was a problem case, while out of her brains drunk. My point therefore is, yes this guy should be gilded, but what the hell was she doing, and why are so many people endorsing this kind of behaviour?

Crash

coolsmileygirl wrote:

if the girl is on the pill most men think condoms are irrellevent if the girl looks clean eg, not a stranger
hence the reason too for all the STDs in our country

I'm sorry, i lost track of this argument roughly around the point where all men were the reason for STD's in this country - i did hear that right, yes?

Victor

Unregtoday wrote:

Minsesajacks thats a bit harsh.

Check.ü

Not to mention self riteous.

Check.ü

Correct. Check.ü

Thank you for flying MAJD airlines.

LegacyUser

I babysat last for my other neighbour who was at a party in said blokes house, the lads were talkin about me he called me easy and my neighbour whoses kids i was minding punched him and knocked him out

he woke up this morning and my cousin whoses his best mate told him he'd be lucky to get a girl like me ever and the only reason i slept with him is because i was out of my face an he said you wouldnt have gotten her otherwise
i feel a bit better but still worried doing a test next week because its still too early to do one

DawnMc

The pill is effective from the first day you take it according to the instructions

LegacyUser

killswitch wrote:

well one things for sure is id consider that rape as u didnt consent to unprotected sex

No way is it rape!! He was abuse of her rights - but not rape, they are two very different things.

DawnMc wrote:

The pill is effective from the first day you take it according to the instructions

No it isn't!!! It is only effective if you start it taking it on the first day of your period.
If you start it mid cycle then it is not effective - certainly not after just 6 days.

OP. It depends on what part of your cycle you started back on the pill at. You should ring the doc who prescribed you. It is too late to take the morning after pill at this stage.

BigArnie

lady123 wrote:

I babysat last for my other neighbour who was at a party in said blokes house, the lads were talkin about me he called me easy and my neighbour whoses kids i was minding punched him and knocked him out

That's great because two wrongs make a right. Don't they?

lady123 wrote:

he woke up this morning and my cousin whoses his best mate told him he'd be lucky to get a girl like me ever and the only reason i slept with him is because i was out of my face an he said you wouldnt have gotten her otherwise

Right, his best mate told him that. Not really a very good friend, is he? And how did you find out about this? Sounds to me like the cock and bull story of an insecure little girl who regrets having sex because she got off her face. Something tells me that even if he wasn't a lowlife and he didn't remove the condom, you'd still be giving him a hard time.

Your story doesn't match up and now your making stuff up. Why do I get this horrible feeling that either a) this is all just a load of bulls**t to attract online attention or b) it's true and there's a relatively innocent young man that you regret having sex with and who you're trying to cover in mud? Or am I just being silly?

AngryBadger

BigArnie wrote:

That's great because two wrongs make a right. Don't they?



Right, his best mate told him that. Not really a very good friend, is he? And how did you find out about this? Sounds to me like the cock and bull story of an insecure little girl who regrets having sex because she got off her face. Something tells me that even if he wasn't a lowlife and he didn't remove the condom, you'd still be giving him a hard time.

Your story doesn't match up and now your making stuff up. Why do I get this horrible feeling that either a) this is all just a load of bulls**t to attract online attention or b) it's true and there's a relatively innocent young man that you regret having sex with and who you're trying to cover in mud? Or am I just being silly?

*applause*

Zombrex

BigArnie wrote:

Seems like she's just annoyed that she slept with him more than anything else.

No actually I think she seems like she is pretty annoyed (as in "worried sick") that she may either be pregnent or have an STD because of what this guy did.

People seem very quick to turn this into another "Oh this is just another case of a girl with regret issues" argument, when in fact it isn't anything like that .. she was shocked and angry right from when she found out, not when she woke up the next morning and looked to her left

AngryBadger wrote:

From my perspective, what this amounts to is a woman KNOWINGLY had sexual intercourse with someone that, SHE HERSELF ADMITS, was a problem case, while out of her brains drunk.

Its pretty clear from the OP that she means "bad boy" as in will sleep with you and then not call and tell all his mates about it, not "bad boy" as in f**king mental patient.
__________________

AngryBadger

Wicknight wrote:

Its pretty clear from the OP that she means "bad boy" as in will sleep with you and then not call and tell all his mates about it, not "bad boy" as in f**king mental patient.
__________________

see in my head, your' definition of a "bad boy" is someone who lacks any real respect for anyone, so I'm saying what kind of behaviour do you expect from someone like that? Why would you put yourself at risk with someone like that? I'm making this point in a general sense, but I'm also saying that the kind of person who tends to put themselves in that position is also the kind of person who then turns around after and wants to blame anyone else.

A person doesn't need to be a "****ing mental patient" to do what this guy did.

Zombrex

AngryBadger wrote:

A person doesn't need to be a "****ing mental patient" to do what this guy did.

Yeah, they do. I have never heard of any guy doing something as low as this, and I know a lot of guys who try and get out of wearing a condom during sex.

This guy is not all there up stairs. I would imagine he is a psychopath, he certainly sounds like it with the lying and trickery and lack of remorse.

And there is a big difference between a guy who has a bit of a reputation as a heart breaker, a "bad boy", and a psychopath who will lie and trick to get what he wants. I mean this wasn't a "I promise to call you" lie, or a "sure babe, I respect you as a person" lie. This lie gets her a kid or herpes, both of which last a long time

AngryBadger

Wicknight wrote:

Yeah, they do. I have never heard of any guy doing something as low as this, and I know a lot of guys who try and get out of wearing a condom during sex.

This guy is not all there up stairs. I would imagine he is a psychopath, he certainly sounds like it with the lying and trickery and lack of remorse.

And there is a big difference between a guy who has a bit of a reputation as a heart breaker, a "bad boy" and a psychopath who will lie and trick to get what he wants

Man...where are you getting this garbage???

he didn't lie or trick to get anything. She got wasted with him, they had sex. As a bunch of people have said, people do it all the time.

Look, it seems to me that you, and a lot of other people are inferring a lot of stuff here. So let's review the facts.

1) The guy involved is a prick of the highest calibre

2) The OP already knew he was trouble, she said so herself in her very first post

3)In spite of this the OP got twisted with him, and they had sex

4)The world is full of guys who are quite happy to settle for a drunken lay, (these aren't BAD GUYS, in fact they're MOST GUYS), these are not necessarily psychopaths.

So, to recap what I'm saying, (AGAIN!),

Why would anyone get involved with someone like this? You're quite happy to jump on the "well she had contraception, therefore she's absolved of any responsibility" bandwagon, yet no-one seems to be pointing out that she was irresponsible enough to get tied into this guy in the first place. And yes I'm aware she was feeling down, but that doesn't wash in the real world, what if she did wind up with a kid or an STD out of this? I don't think your rationale is going to cut it there.

What I'm saying about the OP, and this is largely borne out by her responses thus far, is that she doesn't have a very responsible attitude toward sex, if she did then why did she put herself in this situation to begin with???

This idea that the guy involved is a psychopath is so far off the path I can't even articulate it, what he is, is a colossal prick, someone who doesn't give a fiddlers crap about anyone, certainly not the OP, but that doesn't make him a psycho.

P.S. I'd love to know the age of the people involved here

Zombrex

AngryBadger wrote:

he didn't lie or trick to get anything.

Did you read the OP at all ...

she told him he had to wear a condom .. he put a condom on ... when she was not aware he took it off and didn't tell her he did that .. he tricked her even when he knew she insisted on safe sex, simply because he doesn't like it. He knew she wouldn't agree to unsafe sex, she had already told him that, so instead he took the condom off without her knowing.

AngryBadger wrote:

She got wasted with him, they had sex. As a bunch of people have said, people do it all the time.

And she is not saying anything about that. As I said before the sex wasn't the issue.

AngryBadger wrote:

1) The guy involved is a prick of the highest calibre

There is no reason to believe she should have know he would do something as distusting and unsafe as this. You seem to not understand what "bad boy" means. It doesn't mean lying psychopath, it simply means a bit of a heart breaker. If this girl was upset that he didn't call her the next day I would be right with you saying don't be so stupid. But it isn't about anything as trivial as that.

AngryBadger wrote:

is that she doesn't have a very responsible attitude toward sex, if she did then why did she put herself in this situation to begin with???

What situation? She slept with a guy she has know for years, who has always be nice to her, but had a bit of a reputation for not treating woman very well (a "bad boy"), but there is no evidence she expected this to turn into a relationship, no evidence she expected anything from him afterward. There is quite a leap from that, to a guy who would do something as low as what this guy turned out to do.

This guy could have easily done what he did to his wife, the fact that it was causal sex seems to have very little to do with it. There was no way I can see, for the OP to know he was capable of something as horrible as what he did, certainly not from what she knew about him. She says he was very sarcastic she says. But she also says he was always nice to her, and even offered to help her out with a guy who treated her badly.

AngryBadger wrote:

but that doesn't make him a psycho.

No, what makes it likely that he is a psychopath is the fact that he lied and tricked her for his own satisfaction, and then seemed to show not remorse or even comprahension that what he did was wrong.

That is classic psychotic behaviour.

LundiMardi

lady123 wrote:

I babysat last for my other neighbour who was at a party in said blokes house, the lads were talkin about me he called me easy and my neighbour whoses kids i was minding punched him and knocked him out

he woke up this morning and my cousin whoses his best mate told him he'd be lucky to get a girl like me ever and the only reason i slept with him is because i was out of my face an he said you wouldnt have gotten her otherwise
i feel a bit better but still worried doing a test next week because its still too early to do one

jaysus, sounds like you all deserve each other really..

Have you gone to the sti clinic yet?

AngryBadger

Ok.

The bottom line here is, I'm saying people should have a responsible attitude toward sex. An important part of this is how we choose our sex partners. Hand-in-hand with this simple, logical, safe, and irrefutable theory is that if we take some small measure of care choosing our sex partners, we can all continue to **** for ireland.

However. If we sleep with people we know to be lacking in regard for others, we cannot then turn around and moan about it. If you play with matches, you will get burned.

So, when you say to me, "Well that fella's a prick" I say, "fine, not disputing that, but maybe in future she shouldn't have sex with that type of fella".

Anything outside this argument is surplus to requirements, all people are doing is trying to justify a cavalier attitude towards sex.

The Sweeper

Victor wrote:

Check.ü
Check.ü

Correct. Check.ü

Thank you for flying MAJD airlines.

Victor that's hardly an on-topic contribution to this thread is it? Would you like to refute any of the points I've made? Aren't you supposed to be something on this board, what's the word now... em... tip of my tongue... oh yeah - a moderator?

BigArnie

This whole thread is just a load of rubbish to be perfectly honest.

1) The guy is a complete scumbag for removing the condom

2) She's had her pound of flesh as the guy has been knocked unconscious (apparently) by angry neighbours

3) The OP's now 100% responsible and accountable for what happened to her and she's just going to have to f**king deal with her stupid mistake and stop bloody well blaming other people

Moral of the story girls - don't sleep with people that you know are arseholes and save yourselves for someone decent and true. Otherwise you get what you f**king deserve.

Goodnight.

Nevyn

Right to sum up it was a harsh lesson to learn but hopefully the OP will go to the Dr and eventually be given the all clear.
Sex is a serious matter and you can be putting your health and life at risk.