Why do men cheat?

nitrogen

What the f**k do you expect a break to be? You either break-up or not. Enough of this American nonsense!

By all means, you can still be a couple and take time apart from each other, holidays separately and many relationships survive long distance. So what do you expect a break to be? He / She can do what ever they want then.

Dustaz

toffeapple wrote:

but ban me if you like i couldnt give a fiddlers w*nk

lol, that phrase is the funniest thing ive read all day. Thanks toffeapple:)

Op: Yoiu were on a break, you want him back, he wants you back. bygones etc. Count yourself lucky you got the second chance.

quacker

Thanks all for your support / advice etc I'm going to meet him now so we'll just let the future take its own course for now - whatever that may be.

I guess at the end of the day what will be will be.

Seraphina

well while its great that after shagging someone else that he still wants you and knows it now - i'd still feel a little uncomfortable about the fact that HE was the one who wanted the break. of course if you both agreed to it etc. then its not really a prob, i guess you're just a bit shocked because you didn't think he'd be out sleeping with other women while you were probably worrying about the relationship.
be glad that he didn't shag someone else and decide **** this relationship, im off to get my rocks off with lots of random women.

Hagar

Remember the slogan "Have a break, have a [Strike]Kit-Kat[/Strike] Kwik-Shag"

quacker

we did both agree to the break as things were not going well at all between us as we felt that a break would be good and would help us both to see how we felt about eachother - I never thought that he would use the time to f**k another girl, he says that it was all about s*x but I don't know . . . . . should I give him another chance??

toffeapple

yes of course, you know you have already made up your mind so be positive and stick to it

Duckjob

quacker wrote:

is this forgiveable

quacker wrote:

should I give him another chance??

Nobody can answer these questions except you. Its how you feel about it that matters.

If you feel there might be something worth saving, have a go at rebuilding the relationship and see how it goes. Its only then you'll know whether you're capable of putting the past behind you or not.

Vangelis

If you didn't agree that you could meet others in the "break" you can call that cheating. Find out what exactly you mean with "a break".

elexes

imo you dont want to be in this relationship and are nit picking .
its clear to me and many other users and almost everyone whois ever watched friends that you clearly were on a break .

if you cant get over the fact well then thats fine but dont be expecting for him to say sorry for it cause imo hes no reason to say sorry . after all when you were on a " break " what did you do ? sit around moap watch some tv eat ice cream ?

cause if you did you didnt do the correct thing at that time


cheer up . you live you learn . go out and have some fun

Millie1

At least you were on a break.....I'm being actively pursued by someone who so very isn't on a break....just has a girlfriend that lives a good way away...the best answer to give you is to follow your heart. What do you really want to do....? If its dump him...go do it go out and enjoy yourself, 4 years is a long time to be with one person....but if you want to make a go of it....do so but you have to put this behind you and make sure you know where you are going inthe relationship............Good Luck!

deisemum

quacker wrote:

Thanks for this, its sweet and very true. We both cried alot over the last few days as its all very recent and raw. One thing that gets me is that she slept in his bed (the bed we have shared for nearly four years - however we don't live together), is this forgiveable, I don't know I've never been in this situation before - hence the need for your advice and help?!

If you do want to make a go of it with him then get a new bed if you're that bothered. Just remember next time you're in a hotel bed that plenty of people have used the bed before you.

From what you've posted here I cannot see what he did that shows he cheated and I think angrybadger summed it up very well.

If you really want to be with him don't let pride to before a fall. Put the past behind you and move on or it will never work.

BigArnie

In fairness, I think the subject of your post "Why do men cheat?" is a bit pathetic really. This guy didn't cheat on you. You were 'on a break' which to me reads the same as 'open relationship' - one or both of you obviously isn't in love.

The Corinthian

Vangelis wrote:

If you didn't agree that you could meet others in the "break" you can call that cheating. Find out what exactly you mean with "a break".

It’s a little late to define it after the fact. Nonetheless, it is evident from the response here that a break essentially means (unless specifically agreed otherwise beforehand) a cessation of the relationship with a view to returning together at a later date. During the “break” both parties are essentially single again. The OP was apparently ignorant / innocent to this.

So he wasn’t cheating - not that that helps the OP too much.

Perhaps he needed one last fling or wanted to see what other women felt like, before committing. After four years in a relationship and in your thirties, the next step tends to be pretty permanent, so I can understand that he would be nervous to a commitment of lifetime monogamy.

Whether the OP takes him back has more to do with her than him. He may have resolved matters through this break, but clearly she has not. The problems that existed prior to it seem to remain.

My gut feeling is that the relationship has run its course and that neither party is truly happy in it.

LundiMardi

quack woman.. in all fairness, get over it, you're in your 30's and you're coming across as a 17 year old.

The only person who has a problem here is you, your ex hasn't done anything wrong, he wasn't with you, he should not be expected to be celibate for the rest of his life. You have nothing to forgive him for.

You're own self-esteem is the issue here, you deal with it.

BigArnie

LundiMardi wrote:

you're in your 30's

:eek: Girl, you've got some amount of experience to gain in relationships if you're confused about this issue in your 30's. Jeepers creepers!