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Joint Custody

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  • 06-01-2006 5:26pm
    #1
    andrew1977
    Registered Users Posts: 3,089 ✭✭✭


    Hi

    I need some help and advice please


    Myself and my girfriend have had an on/off relationship for the past few years. We have a 5 year old son who i have access to see as much as possible .She has never disputed or prevented me seeing my son whenever i want .He comes and stays with me most weekends and some weeknights .
    Recently my girlfriend has begun treatment for a serious illness and we do not know what the long term future holds .
    My fear is that if she passed away or was unable to mind the kid any more due to illness,where would i stand regarding joint custody of my son
    I am on the birthcert and we have always had an amicable relationship with regards the kid but when we fight we fight and certain things are always thrown in each others face
    Is it possible for me to get joint custody of my son just in case anything terible happens .I would not want to lose contact with my son .I know i would always get to see him but if something bad did happen, i would like to bring him up myself

    Any ideas/comments on my situation would be greatly appreciated

    Thank you


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    #2
    MrPudding
    Registered Users Posts: 9,788 ✭✭✭MrPudding


    This is what you need.

    http://oasis.gov.ie/relationships/civil_relationships/legal_guardianship_and_unmarried_couples.html

    MrP


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    #3
    simu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,730 ✭✭✭✭simu


    From the page linked to above:
    Government site wrote:
    If a child in Ireland is born out outside of marriage, the mother is the sole guardian. The position of the unmarried father of the child is not so certain. If the mother agrees, the father can become a joint-guardian if both parents sign a "statutory declaration". The statutory declaration (SI 5 of 1998) must be signed in the presence of a Peace Commissioner or a Commissioner for Oaths.

    Disgraceful - you'd think both parents would become guardians automatically. :mad:


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    #4
    MrPudding
    Registered Users Posts: 9,788 ✭✭✭MrPudding


    I know, it is a bit of a mess. I really need to fill in a couple of those forms myself, just to get things covered. I have 2 kids with my girlfriend, one born in the north and one here. Not sure if there is any difference now that we are living here. I think unmarried fathers have abit more rights in the north. Still not great though.

    MrP


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    #5
    andrew1977
    Registered Users Posts: 3,089 ✭✭✭andrew1977


    Hi Folks

    Thanks for the reply and advice, i suggested it to the girlfriend over the weekend, surprise surprise she is hesitating now if she will go through with it .
    Due to her illness,she is taking the precaution of making a will and in the will she will state that i am to get custody of my son if anything hapens to her
    Will this cover me or do i really need to get her to sign these forms.If she does agree to sign it , you need a peace commissioner to witness it ,my father is one ,would it be accepted that a member of my family perform the witnessing of the document ?
    Then lodge it with respective solicitors ?

    What a mess !! When i got the form which you supplied on oasis ,i thought great,the end of the uncertainty..now the whole show keeps rolling on

    Single father..disgrace we dont have more rights in ireland

    thanks again folks for the help


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    #6
    tirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 126 ✭✭tirl


    You really need to get the stat declaration sorted and get it signed by someone other than a relative, it's best to have everything beyond reproach should anything unforseen happen. You say she is having second thoughts now, so how can you be sure she will actually include you in her will. I am sorry your ex is going through this illness but you need to have all angles covered before anything god fobid happens to her, where you will find you will have absolutely no rights

    get advice from a good family law solicitor ASAP


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    #7
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    andrew1977 wrote:
    Hi i suggested it to the girlfriend over the weekend, surprise surprise she is hesitating now if she will go through with it

    has she given you a reason why? and why she is putting it in her will instead of joint custody now? what is she afraid of, things won't change in anyway :/


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    #8
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    The form won't get him joint custody or access just joint gaurdianship which means he has a say in the childs life and decisions that effect the child and can sign medical forms ect.
    S.I. No. 5/1998: GUARDIANSHIP OF CHILDREN (STATUTORY DECLARATION) REGULATIONS, 1998. wrote:
    6. Guardianship is the collection of rights and duties which a parent has in respect of his or her child. It encompasses the duty to maintain and properly care for the child and the right to make decisions about a child's religious and secular education, health requirements and other matters affecting the welfare of the child. The exercise of guardianship rights may be agreed between parents. In the event of a dispute arising concerning the exercise of guardianship rights the court may determine the matter on the application of either parental guardian. The right to custody is one of the rights that arises under the guardianship relationship. Custody is the physical day to day care and control of a child. Even where one parental guardian has custody of a child the other parental guardian is generally entitled to be consulted in relation to matters affecting the welfare of the child.


    Note: A father's duty to maintain his child and his right to apply to the court for custody of or access to his child is not contingent on his being made a guardian.


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    #9
    Kildrought
    Registered Users Posts: 381 ✭✭Kildrought


    "you will find you will have absolutely no rights"

    That's not really the case; the natural father always has the right to apply for guardianship. It would be better to apply for it now, ideally with your partner's approval. However that is not to say that you can't apply for guardianship in the event of her untimely death.

    In regards to 'automatic' guardianship - this only happens in this country where the parents are married to each other. There is a legal assumption (unless otherwise stated) that the husband is the child's father.

    Leaving aside DNA testing the only parent that can be proven to be a parent of the child is the mother, since the birth is pretty obvious!

    Automatic granting of guardianship in the case of unmarried parents could be problematic; since a guardian has a number of legal rights and responsibilities in regards to the child.

    If there was no intention on behalf of both parents to raise the child jointly i.e. by being married or being in a long-term relationship - automatic guardianship to a non-resident or non-custodial partner may not be in the best interests of the child.


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