Confused

LegacyUser

Hey so here's there story. Went out with a few folks from work over christmas .Had a really great time. Got talking to someone who worked with me but in a different department who i thought was really hot. There was chemistry. (He kept tellling me he wanted me lol). The thing was he has a girlfriend and didn't want anything to happen infront of his friends.

Later on in the night we were left alone and we had sex. I knew i shouldnt because he had a girlfriend but i just couldn't help myself. I was cool with this being a one nighter because he had a girl friend.

He text me the next day saying that we should just act normal and i said that was fine i'd ignore him like i always do lol he said "ah please don't i think your great" he asked for my yahoo id land asked me had a told anyone about us. I hadn't. I gave it to him and he added me. The first time we talked there he was saying "I want you" etc asking me was it just a once off. I said that was up to him because he had a girlfriend. The next few times i talked to him he seemed fine.

Then all of a sudden he just turned nasty. He wouldn't talk to me at all and when he did he was very short. Since we work in different departments i don't see him that often. I seen him last monday and he was really nice to me. Like i kind of ignored him at first and he kept calling me. Then he was just chatting about work etc. Before we went out we would have never talked to each other. I thought then that maybe he would be nicer to me online.

He wasn't he was even more weird with me. Like i asked him messing what should i do with my hair and he said "I honestly dont really care" . I just said fine and bye. He said sorry that it wasn't meant to come out like that but i really couldnt have been bothered writing back.

I'm so confused at this stage. I didn't mind it being a one nighter but then he went and started saying he wanted me etc and now I don't know what to think. I really like him but i think its just because I can't have him.

The other thing i was thinking was that he just wants to keep me sweet so i don't tell anyone about what happened. But since he's being horrible to me online I'm not sure.

any ideas on what i should do?
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LovelyHurling

Forget it hes got a girlfriend, if he didnt want to be with her he wouldnt be! And if he wants you both then hes not worth it. Either way you work in different departments, so you can and should just forget him.

Nevyn

Well first and foremost he does have a gf and whil you weren't unfaithful he was and would you want to pursue someone and get into a relationship with someone who you know can't be faithfull, can't be trusted, lies and uses people ?

Ok so you 'used' each other but it does sound like he is not coping well with what happened between the two of you.
I could see how being in touch with you is driving him nuts as that alone is a temptation. I would suggest that if he is acting like a príck and can't deal with what happened and it sounds like he is blaming you but trying to keep you
sweet so he can try have sex with you again.

If I were you I would leave him be to get his head sorted,
what do you want from him a relationship or just a fúck buddy ?
and is he even free or able to be that for you in a way you need ?

LegacyUser

Being totally honest I don't know what i want from him. I just really like the guy even though i know that i would probably never trust him in a relationship.

As i said i was cool with it being a one nighter until he kind of persued it.

I don't think he wants to have sex with me again because right now at this moment he said he's too busy to talk to me on yahoo but he's talking to another person in work that i know (he doesn't know this though).

I asked him out straight about 2 weeks ago was what happened a once off. He said he didn't know and i said that that was fine that i was going to take that as it was just a once off. He said "No don't, It just that i don't have the time right now".

like i'd like him to just come out right and say "I'M NOT INTERESTED!" if thats the case not to lead me on anymore.

daiixi

There's only a couple of things you can do in this situation.

You say that you never spoke at work before this happened, so ignoring him at work shouldn't raise any eyebrows and should be easy enough.

If it were me, I'd send him a message saying that what happened happened and that it should be left where it is, in the past and that you won't be telling anyone about it so he shouldn't worry. Then I'd delete him from my yahoo thingy (after blocking him - if you can do that sort of thing with the yahoo thingy) and then not contact/talk to him.

It sounds like he wants to not only make sure you don't talk, but to keep his options open with you as well but as you keep saying that it was just a once off thing he's gotten a little pissed off that he's not getting more of you. Simply you don't need a person like that in your life. Leave it in the past where it belongs and move on


Good luck!!

BigArnie

This is living proof that some women just can't help but become infatuated with assholes. He has a girlfriend and he had sex with you and you really like him. It boggles the mind. If he ever dumps his girlfriend and you end up going out with this guy, you can be fairly sure that he'll cheat on you eventually. And after a long relationship, it'll be a lot harder to appreciate the fact that he's screwing other women.

It's not worth it - get over him quickly and find someone better.

chump

True be the above...

And he's blantantly lieing to you about being too busy etc...

And yet you're still at it...

Basically he doesn't want you getting any more infatuated with him, just incase you cause trouble, but he wants to keep you luke-warm w(hich he is obviously doing a good job at)...

IMO you're a tool to be wasting time even thinking of him