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Girlfriends Past

  • 08-01-2006 6:34pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Im going out with a lovely 3 for about a month now, and she has just told me her past, she had a still born baby 3 years ago, Im glad she told me but dunno how to deal with it ...


Comments

  • #2
    Victor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,523 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    You don't mention where you are in the relationship.

    I would treat her with compassion, just like any other person she knew had died. However, parents are particularly affected if they lose a child. Certainly death preys on the minds of me and my sister since my niece died (cot death).

    Some sensativity would be good when it comes to pregnanacy, children / babies and death also, but not absolute "don't mention the war" sensativity.

    Has she commented on the relationship she had with the father?

    What are your thoughts on pregnanacy (and indeed sex) and having children?

    You might take a look at http://www.coombe.ie/mai/ to get some background.


  • #3
    LovelyHurling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 955 ✭✭✭LovelyHurling


    I agree with Victor. She probably only told you becasue youd come to that point in your relationship where it was time to tell you. Your relationship doesnt have to follow any new path now, continue on as normal but as Victor says, dont ignore what happened. Bring it up at appropriate times, but try not dwell on it. Your gf has dwelt on this for along time and hopefully moved on, though obviously its always going to be a big event in her life.


  • #4
    casanova_kid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 844 ✭✭✭casanova_kid


    It doesn't seem like something that should greatly affect your relationship, just support her if she wants to talk about it or feels upset about it and things should be fine.


  • #5
    [Jackass]
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,193 ✭✭✭[Jackass]


    What do you mean by "I don't know how to deal with it?"

    Is it something that bothers you? I don't know why it would, and it's difficult to know what to say, you didn't really give much details to the circumstances in which you were told, and in what way she did it/addressed the subject.

    For better advice maybe you could give the whole details of the conversation? And your and her thoughts...

    I am only presuming you're asking from your own point of view, as in you got freaked out or something, so i would say don't be...As victor said, approach it the same as you would if anyone close to her had died, and treat her with compassion...as for yourslef, as long as the relationship in which the baby was concieved is well and truly over, then it shouldn't bother you, and if it was a one nighter, well these things happen...it could happen to any of us..don't judge her or anything..

    Like i said tough...difficult to know what angle you're coming from.


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