Suicide

Lux23

Holes in my story?????? What the **** are you about? Its not a story its real life!

Oh I never said she wasn't a responsible woman. Im just curious Zulu and Ravenhead would you have left her to did as well?

ravenhead

Lux23 wrote:

Holes in my story?????? What the **** are you about? Its not a story its real life!

It's just that first you post without the MAJOR detail of her condition, you say that she left all the emails around for her family to see & now she is in fact living by herself in a flat.(ie not with her family at all), I know I don't have all the specific's of exactly what went on but you stated that she took a MAJOR overdose, & nearly died, can I ask you where did she do it? It's just seems strange that there are these little bits being added onto your story every couple of posts, I'm just trying to figure out what the real story is..

ravenhead

Lux23 wrote:

Holes in my story?????? What the **** are you about? Its not a story its real life!

Oh I never said she wasn't a responsible woman. Im just curious Zulu and Ravenhead would you have left her to did as well?

Just on you're second comment . NOBODY left her do this, it was her choice! I know that you find this hard to accept as you say you have the same condition as her but as hard as this may be for you to believe, your friend did not put the tablets into her hand & force her to take them, she did this to herself, Yes she may have a medical condition but that didn't force her to do this... she could have gotten help, she knows that she has this condition & somewhere along the line she could have spoken to someone about it, after all you did say that there was approx 1 week between the emails & her taking the overdose???????

Lux23

She did it Christmas night in her family home.

I accept all that your saying and he probably couldn't have done anything. But it just so sad that people like and me are beyond help.

Fysh

Lux23; she wasn't "left to die", she tried to emotionally blackmail your friend into being a part of her life when he didn't want to, and when he didn't respond she tried to kill herself.

It's not like your friend walked in on her after she'd slashed her wrists, then decided not to do anything about it because he couldn't be bothered.

If she's enough of an adult to live by herself then she has to take responsibility for her own life. I know mental health care in Ireland leaves a lot to be desired, but your friend is not to blame for being the person that she fixated on and decided to use as an excuse to kill herself.

If he'd actually given in and gotten involved with her against his own will to make sure she didn't try to kill herself, it would just fuel her apparent tendency to depend excessively on other people. This way, she has had a scare and a lucky escape. I hope she can use this as a learning experience to stop relying on other people so much, but it is something she has to learn. She tried to blackmail him into being part of her life when he'd decided he didn't want to be, and she tried to kill herself. She chose not to talk to anyone else about how she was feeling. Nobody made her do any of these things, and ultimately she has to accept responsibility for them.

Your friend, by the sound of it, may have behaved as a bit of a nob - especially if he was still sleeping with her after breaking it off - but unfortunately all of us have to learn how to deal with such experiences. The universe at large will not give you special consideration for having a mental illness, and you can't rely on people doing this either.

I understand that if you have the same condition you're worried that you might end up being abandoned by your friends in a time of need, but the key to the matter is - you are responsible for your own life. If you're feeling down or suicidal, there are plenty of people who will listen and help you learn how to cope with these feelings. The key is to realise this and reach out for help even if it seems pointless.

ravenhead

Lux23 wrote:

She did it Christmas night in her family home.

Well yeah that makes more sense, I'm not trying to get at you Lux but you really seem to want to find somebody else to blame for what she did, do you mind me asking, have you been in her position yourself? Is that why you feel that somebody else should be blamed for it?

Santa Claus

Lux23 wrote:

She did it Christmas night in her family home.

OK, In my opinion the fact that she made her suicide bid in her folks house would lead me to believe that it was more of a cry for help / cry for attention than a genuine attempt as she knew there would be people around to find her.
I would imagine that if she really wanted to kill herself she would have done it in her own flat where there would be no-one to stop her.

Being in a relationship with a person who has depression/suicidal feelings is a very hard thing to do. It sounds like your friend had to get out of the relationship in the interests of self preservation !

Santa Claus

Lux23 wrote:

But it just so sad that people like and me are beyond help.

I hope you don't think you're beyond help, and neither is this girl.
She certainly wasn't getting the kind of help she needed from your friend in their relationship as she needed/still needs the help of medical professionals !
With the correct help there is no reason why she shouldn't be leading a perfectly normal life this time next year (she will start to feel improvements sooner but it's a gradual process coming back from something like this) !

If you feel that you too are having problems then please go and see a doctor !

Lux23

Its just seeing this girl lose it after she had done so well has made me feel that Im not as happy as I think I am. I tend to avoid realtionships because I have reacted badly to break ups in the past so theres no danger there. But I know now I will never have a normal friendship or realtionship without hiding my disorder which is impossible. My friend is a nice guy but he has been so cold towards this girl that I don't see why he would want to talk to me if I needed him. I feel like there is no point in trying to stay well if it means I will have no decent friends or partners. Whats the point? Thats how she must have felt. Maybe her feeling better was all a pretence too and she just couldn't keep it going. He was probably just the last straw.

ravenhead

Lux23 wrote:

Its just seeing this girl lose it after she had done so well has made me feel that Im not as happy as I think I am. I tend to avoid realtionships because I have reacted badly to break ups in the past so theres no danger there. But I know now I will never have a normal friendship or realtionship without hiding my disorder which is impossible. My friend is a nice guy but he has been so cold towards this girl that I don't see why he would want to talk to me if I needed him. I feel like there is no point in trying to stay well if it means I will have no decent friends or partners. Whats the point? Thats how she must have felt. Maybe her feeling better was all a pretence too and she just couldn't keep it going. He was probably just the last straw.

You shouldn't let this girls experince put you off trying to have a relationship, I mean she obviously wasn't ready for one, I know that you say that you've reacted badly to breakups but have you thought that it only takes one relationship to not break up to have a partner for life & if you cut yourself off from that because of the fear that some day it might all end, is really doing yourself an injustice. People like you really have a lot to offer to the right person, you're more in touch with your feelings & are more likely to want to talk through a problem than engore it, this is a great thing in a relationship. Also please don't hide your condition from any future partner, besides the fact that they really do have a right to know, it won't do any relationship any good in the long run.

Zulu

Lux23 wrote:

Im just curious Zulu and Ravenhead would you have left her to did as well?

? I assume you're asking me would I do as he did in this case, and I can honestly say, without doubt, that I would.
Personally I find emotional blackmail of this type dispicable. I know of a particular case where a person killed themselves by setting themself on fire - but not before contacting their former partner, a person who now is completly tramatised and will never be the same.
Did this person consider their partners feelings (the person they apparently love so much they can't live without)?
Did this person consider the effect this would have on their partner?
Did this person consider the pain this would cause their own parents and family?
Did this person consider the amount of pain this would cause their friends?
No is the answer. They considered only themselves.

It is very sad that people feel the desparation to do such things, but that dosn't justify them or make them any less selfish. Just very sad.

ravenhead

Zulu wrote:

? I assume you're asking me would I do as he did in this case, and I can honestly say, without doubt, that I would.
Personally I find emotional blackmail of this type dispicable. I know of a particular case where a person killed themselves by setting themself on fire - but not before contacting their former partner, a person who now is completly tramatised and will never be the same.
Did this person consider their partners feelings (the person they apparently love so much they can't live without)?
Did this person consider the effect this would have on their partner?
Did this person consider the pain this would cause their own parents and family?
Did this person consider the amount of pain this would cause their friends?
No is the answer. They considered only themselves.

It is very sad that people feel the desparation to do such things, but that dosn't justify them or make them any less selfish. Just very sad.

I completely agree with you Zulu, this girl hadn't a thought for anyone but herself when she did this, I know that yes she may have this condition but to try to put that kind of blame onto someone else is just disgusting.

Victor

Tell your friend talk to a solicitor. He might want to talk to someone else about his emotions (councellor?)

I'm not sure if this is a PI and I'm locking the thread.

The Corinthian

Victor wrote:

I'm not sure if this is a PI

I think the PI is not the original subject but that the OP identifies with it and fears she will end up with the same fate - or worse.

MojoMaker

Agreed. This is thread as it turns out is not really about the other girl or the other bloke at all. Just come straight out and say what you wanna say OP and ask for the advice you seem to seek/need.