Two men - What to do?

fischerspooner

I can't believe some people are calling her a bitch etc. because she's attracted to another guy after 4 years with one guy. This thread is full of bitter young men.

*Oul_Doll_Cork*

fischerspooner wrote:

I can't believe some people are calling her a bitch etc. because she's attracted to another guy after 4 years with one guy. This thread is full of bitter young men.

Some people can't keep their mouth's shut! People shouldn't bother answering to this thread if they don't have any proper advice! Calling the OP a "Disgusting excuse of a human" and "a worthless excuse for a GF" is not giving advice!

If it were up to me I'd have you all banned, this is a personal issues forum and some people just don't know how to behave! Fair enough you don't agree with what she is doing but it it so hard to keep your mouth's shut???

BigArnie

fischerspooner wrote:

I can't believe some people are calling her a bitch etc. because she's attracted to another guy after 4 years with one guy.

Attracted to another guy after 4 years? Did you even read the original post? She's already cheated on her partner of nearly 5 years with him. As far as I'm concerned, that's just a cruel, scumbag thing to do.

fischerspooner wrote:

This thread is full of bitter young men.

That's just pathetic trolling to be honest. I couldn't care less if the OP was a woman or a man - if you cheat on your partner of nearly five years then you're a f**king lowlife.

Of course there are instances whereby someone is involved in a disfunctional relationship and they feel they want out of it and end up cheating but saying that you're in love with someone (and I'm assuming the the OP's bf treats her well and is a good guy) and still cheating on him/her for your own gratification - well there's nothing else you can call her but a bitch. Sorry! :eek:

I feel really sorry for the guy. He's wasted FIVE YEARS of his life with this woman. What a horrible, horrible thing to do.

fischerspooner

how has he wasted 5 years? Even if he found out she kissed another bloke, he'd get over it eventually, and some day he'll look back on the good days he had with this girl. If I found out my g/f of 1 year now cheated on me recently, I'd be upset but I'd move on and I'd still hold in in high regard and respect her as a person. I think you're all taking this too seriously, relationships aren't the be all and end all of life.

Omnipresence

BigArnie wrote:

Attracted to another guy after 4 years? Did you even read the original post? She's already cheated on her partner of nearly 5 years with him. As far as I'm concerned, that's just a cruel, scumbag thing to do.



That's just pathetic trolling to be honest. I couldn't care less if the OP was a woman or a man - if you cheat on your partner of nearly five years then you're a f**king lowlife.

Of course there are instances whereby someone is involved in a disfunctional relationship and they feel they want out of it and end up cheating but saying that you're in love with someone (and I'm assuming the the OP's bf treats her well and is a good guy) and still cheating on him/her for your own gratification - well there's nothing else you can call her but a bitch. Sorry! :eek:

I feel really sorry for the guy. He's wasted FIVE YEARS of his life with this woman. What a horrible, horrible thing to do.

All I can say is 'here' 'here' to everything in the above reply... doesn't matter what sex/persuasion the OP is...

BigArnie

*Oul_Doll_Cork* wrote:

Some people can't keep their mouth's shut! People shouldn't bother answering to this thread if they don't have any proper advice! Calling the OP a "Disgusting excuse of a human" and "a worthless excuse for a GF" is not giving advice!

Maybe she's actually learnt that the kind of cruel, dishonest s**t she's getting up to makes people sick. That would be a good thing, don't you think?

AngryBadger

Airblazer wrote:

the other guy has no interest in a relationship and is obviously thinking no strings attached sex..he's a prick as well.:mad:

Gotta disagree here, if she's foolish enough to offer it up, what do you expect him to do?

Personally.....u know what, never mind what I'd do personally, I'm a horrible person

BigArnie

fischerspooner wrote:

how has he wasted 5 years? Even if he found out she kissed another bloke, he'd get over it eventually, and some day he'll look back on the good days he had with this girl. If I found out my g/f of 1 year now cheated on me recently, I'd be upset but I'd move on and I'd still hold in in high regard and respect her as a person. I think you're all taking this too seriously, relationships aren't the be all and end all of life.

Well you're obviously not in love with your girlfriend then is all I can say. If you were with someone for 5 years and in love with her and trusted her and she just flippantly started seeing some other guy for kicks behind your back, you'd feel cheated and hurt beyond belief.

If you cheat on a partner at that stage of a relationship, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman, you're nothing short of a rotten and heartless person.

*Oul_Doll_Cork*

BigArnie wrote:

Maybe she's actually learnt that the kind of cruel, dishonest s**t she's getting up to makes people sick. That would be a good thing, don't you think?

Maybe it is cruel! I do feel bad for her boyfriend but that doesn't give me or anyone else a reason to go name calling! I don't know the girl, you don't know the girl, nobody here really knows her personally do we? She could be mother theresa for all we know, everyone does something they regret every once in a while!!
It just really really annoys me that on almost every single thread you look at on here there are always a few who are like "ohh my good you're such a terrible person" or "ohhhh my gooodd your soooo wrong and I'm soooo right!" Its just ridiculus! The OP asked for opinions and she got a load of feckin holy saints going on about what a bitch she is!

Fanny Cradock

fischerspooner wrote:

how has he wasted 5 years? Even if he found out she kissed another bloke, he'd get over it eventually, and some day he'll look back on the good days he had with this girl. If I found out my g/f of 1 year now cheated on me recently, I'd be upset but I'd move on and I'd still hold in in high regard and respect her as a person. I think you're all taking this too seriously, relationships aren't the be all and end all of life.

good for you......


seriously though, the amount of bs that you type is unreal. i would say that it is more likely how you would hope a girl would think of you if she found out you had been playing away. you cant respect someone if they are a cheat and liar.

BigArnie

*Oul_Doll_Cork* wrote:

The OP asked for opinions and she got a load of feckin holy saints going on about what a bitch she is!

She asked for opinions and she got them. I don't know what kind of a reaction she expected. The victim here is her boyfriend. Not her.

As for being a 'holy saint' - I never have cheated on any girl I've ever gone out with. So I feel my opinion is valid and stands the test of hypocrisy.

Stabshauptmann

First off, I could forgive a cheat. But shes not sorry, and it wasnt an accident. Really under these circumstances, it is being selfish and bitchy.

And I did offer advise, valuable advice which the OP needs to learn. Other people have feelings and she should treat them with more respect.

St_Crispin

It sounds like the original girl has been a right slapper and wants to make herself feel better.

She's cheated on a guy she went out with for 4 years. It doesn't matter if it's just kissing. She did it, she knows it's wriong and she's just looking to salve her conscience.

The other guy is just a bit of a bastard too. He doesn't want to go out with her and is encouraging her to do this for a bit of fun. He's not even getting sex out of it. It's just a snog. He's either desperate or some fecker who likes messing around with a girl. Probably the latter.

Listen, if you want to break up with your bf, just do it. Don't use this other guy as an excuse. And don't get into another relationship unless you're damn certain you can be faithful. Because otherwise some other bloke who could be perfectly nice will get his heart broken.

chump

The fact is she's been doing it for a while, she wants to take it further, and has no remorse. Her concern is about whether she should break up with her boyfriend (as in will it benefit her) even though the fling she's having isn't going anywhere?

As has been said people can understand cheating, people can understand guilt and remorse, and all that - but this girl is only worried about herself and what will be best for her.

It's a sad state.

Lady_Macbeth

I don't think people realise what it feels like to be cheated on by someone you truly love, unless it actually has happened to them, and I imagine there are a few people here to whom it has happened, myself included.

I wasn't with my boyfriend at the time for very long, but I genuinely have never felt that way about anyone before or since and a part of me will always love him, but i could never be with him again, simply because I could never give to him my trust and the vunerability that that implies, because of the sheer hurt that he caused me. He broke it off with me, before I found out from anyone else, because, quote he 'loved' me. I don't know whether he did or not, only he can ever answer to that. But the shock, the pain, the hurt, and the fear of letting myself go again to be in love again were all immense. That was a few years ago now, and although I hardly see him anymore, only perhaps every few months in the pub or whatever, I still get butterflies in my stomach and my heart skips a beat.
So

fischerspooner wrote:

If I found out my g/f of 1 year now cheated on me recently, I'd be upset but I'd move on

- I don't think you are truly in absolute unconditional love. That's only my own opinion, however. From my experience, I have forgiven him, I have put him in the past, but I don't think I could ever forget the love that I had for him, nor the hurt that he caused me.

To the OP, in my opinion, what you have done to your boyfriend is irreversible. I'm sure you're aware of this. You can never erase the fact that you have been with, and 'really enjoyed' being with another man. Even if you confront your boyfriend and confess to him, even if he does forgive you and even if you both agree to put it behind you and move on together, it will always remain with you both, staining the relationship.

You said it yourself, it's not fair on your boyfriend; you're right: it's not at all fair on him. Please, if you do respect him, if you do have any feelings for him, please, break up with him.

- Lady

BigArnie

God. This thread really does remind you of how vacuous and how incredibly reckless people can be with other people in relationships. I'm glad I'm at the age whereby I've seen it so many times that I can see right through people like the OP like a sheet of glass. I've gone out with selfish, pig-headed women like her before years ago (yes, that's where the bitterness comes from) and it's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It really is the lowest of the low. I hope the reactions on this thread will serve as a lesson to the OP and maybe she'll learn to grow a soul out of it.

Zombrex

fischerspooner wrote:

how has he wasted 5 years? Even if he found out she kissed another bloke, he'd get over it eventually, and some day he'll look back on the good days he had with this girl. If I found out my g/f of 1 year now cheated on me recently, I'd be upset but I'd move on and I'd still hold in in high regard and respect her as a person.

You have a funny idea of what "respect" means.

I mean if you were going out with a nice girl from a few weeks, finally invited her back to your place and had a wild night of passion and then in the morning she was gone and had stolen your wallet, dvd player and cd collection, would you go "Well most of the fortnight went great, I ain't going to let one little upset ruin the memory of her"

If a girlfriend cheated on me and I still held her in high regard my friends would have permission to kick the crap out of me for being a door mat.

But then if someone didn't even respect me in the most basic of human relationships I doubt I would feel the need to respect them back either. It is very easy to "respect" the person you think someone is, but harder to face up to the person they really are.

Airblazer

*Oul_Doll_Cork* wrote:

Maybe it is cruel! I do feel bad for her boyfriend but that doesn't give me or anyone else a reason to go name calling! I don't know the girl, you don't know the girl, nobody here really knows her personally do we? She could be mother theresa for all we know, everyone does something they regret every once in a while!!
It just really really annoys me that on almost every single thread you look at on here there are always a few who are like "ohh my good you're such a terrible person" or "ohhhh my gooodd your soooo wrong and I'm soooo right!" Its just ridiculus! The OP asked for opinions and she got a load of feckin holy saints going on about what a bitch she is!

maybe you'd want to reread that post of yours and see where you went wrong..
actually to save you time I'll just point it out for you as it could take forever...
she asked for opinions and she got them...u do know what an opinion is?.don't u?

MojoMaker

Oul_Doll_Cork is the OP :rolleyes:

AngryBadger

MojoMaker wrote:

Oul_Doll_Cork is the OP :rolleyes:

...that's briliant...wanna be my sidekick? I'm in dire need of someone to hang recklessly out of the BadgerMobile and wear little green elf tights

BigArnie

MojoMaker wrote:

Oul_Doll_Cork is the OP :rolleyes:

She would have got away with it too if it wasn't for you pesky kids.

Beruthiel

this thread has gone way off topic and has probably come to a natural end.
the OP certainly has gotten all the advice they require.