Don't wanna split, so what do I do?

LegacyUser

Ok, basically, been with my BF 4 years. We are best friends, never fight, have a lot of fun together, and I know that he is the guy that I will marry.

Problem: He is the only man I have ever slept with, he slept with 5 girls before he got together with me.
I can't help thinking what it would be like to sleep with other guys.
I actually mean that, every now and then the thought just come into my head
"Will I be ok with only ever sleeping with one guy my entire life?"

Now, I definately wont cheat on my BF, never have, never will, and I definately don't want to break up with my BF, so how do I shake these thoughts?

Seriously, this is a major problem for me, because I don't want to have any doubts about a happy future with my BF. He is a fantastic guy, great fun, easy going, completely honest and trust worthy, he loves me so much, and I love him, so please I really need some advice on this.

Help me to stop asking myself these questions, PLEASE!

Beruthiel

Unreg4aReason wrote:

I can't help thinking what it would be like to sleep with other guys.
I actually mean that, every now and then the thought just come into my head
"Will I be ok with only ever sleeping with one guy my entire life?"

do you consider your sex life to be good?
if it is, then you're missing nothing tbh
or
you could just finish with your b/f and find out
the decision is yours alone

LegacyUser

it is good but you see the thing is, and I don't mean to be crude, I have only ever "made love" and I just want to have sex!

Am I making sense? Before I got together with my BF I had several close encounters with lads who were no my BF, but who I was seeing casually, these encounters were very exciting, very fast and furious, and have been creeping into my thoughts more and more.

Breaking up isn't an option, I genuinely do want to stay with my BF, I want a solution that will get these thoughts out of my head and allow me to continue, happily, in my current relationship.

ARGINITE

Beruthiel wrote:

do you consider your sex life to be good?
if it is, then you're missing nothing tbh
or
you could just finish with your b/f and find out
the decision is yours alone

Couldn't have said it better myself.
Your missing nothing and as it goes far away hills are green.

Nalz

Unreg4aReason wrote:

Problem: He is the only man I have ever slept with, he slept with 5 girls before he got together with me.
I can't help thinking what it would be like to sleep with other guys.

He is a fantastic guy, great fun, easy going, completely honest and trust worthy, he loves me so much, and I love him, so please I really need some advice on this.

Help me to stop asking myself these questions, PLEASE!

If things are fine and you feel this about your bf, then there is nothing wrong at all. I was with a girl for 4 years, we broke up not too long ago...just wasnt meant to be. But we loved one another for that time and Ive no regrets. It was a great time in my life, I was her first and apart from one mistake in my life I could say the same. Its common to think this especially after such a long time, but if your truely happy then ya got nothin to worry about. I know 3 people my age (22-25) that are with people 5 and 6 years plus. If its meant to be its meant to be...stop worrying about it n enjoy it

just spice it up a bit in bed with your bloke

to be "taken roughly "in the sack and having a passionate time with some randomer is ok but believe me the thrill goes after a while a while especially if your not used to it
stick with your fella
remember why your with him in the first place and count yourself lucky
the grass is always greener theory does not work in relation to sex

Beruthiel

Unreg4areason wrote:

these encounters were very exciting, very fast and furious.

as I'm sure it was with your b/f when ye met first.
all relationships are like that at the start, within 3/6 months they change to what you have with your b/f right now.
you can't have it every way

The Corinthian

Ask him if he want's to try swinging with you for a bit.

If both of you can deal with this, then your problem's solved.

Khannie

Unreg4areason wrote:

it is good but you see the thing is, and I don't mean to be crude, I have only ever "made love" and I just want to have sex!

I'd suggest spicing things up a bit. After a few years together you can fall into a routine. At that point you need to actively try to spice things up a bit every once in a while (not all the time). Maybe get some filthy internet porn and watch it with him if you fancy being f*cked instead of made love to.

MicraBoy

A bit of roleplay might help. Pretend like you are strangers. He comes to a bar and finds you there alone. Chats you up etc. Maybe rent a hotel room to return to after your "chance" encounter.

Try and spice it up a bit, do things you wouldn't do normally do. Stay away from the routine sex you have. Hell even sneek off early the next morning if that's part of your fantasy!

LegacyUser

Swinging definately wouldn't appeal to either of us.
I like the role play and hotel idea's.
I just wanna get over this lil hicup and get on with enjoying the rest of our lives together.