girlfriend lied about age

LegacyUser

hey people, heres my situation. Im 19 and i started meeting this girl about three months ago. She told me she was 16 and i had a hard time thinking whether or not to persue it since i had never been with someone so young, i usually go for 18, 19 or 20 year olds. Well i did persue things because i really fell for her and she became my girlfriend about a month ago.
Everything was fine and dandy.

i was obviously aware of the problems with her age and having sex but we both thought "ah sure ull be 17 in afew months". But i recently found out she had been lying about her age and that she is in fact 15. I was obviously raging since she had been lying to me and the fact that it became alot further away from the legal age.

i still love this girl but is it wrong? Should i be responsible and break it off? Is it a case of "if you love her it doesnt matter??

i would appreciate your thoughts on this, because im so stressed and pissed off at the moment,,

thanks

seamus

I'm not going to comment on the legalities, you're clearly aware of them.

TBH, she's 15. Her life is going to change so much over the next 6 years, and by the time you've got a steady job, and are thinking of buying a house, she's going to be getting hammered 4 nights a week in college, and dressing in tiny little dresses for the fun of it.

Even over the next 2 years, you'll be in two completely different worlds. I'm not going to tell you to break it off, just giving you the reality of the situation.

Baggly

too young imo.

19 and 15. the maths does itself

projectmayhem

yeah. you go to a bar for some drinks, can't bring her. that's the big deal. hell she can't even get into certain movies

constitutionus

man she not only lied to you, shes potentially put you in the position of going to jail for statutory rape:mad: DUMP HER before it gets any worse. i know emotionally it sucks but you have to do it. you KNOW you wouldnt have gone near her with a tenfoot barge pole if you knew then, just tell her its not possible for you to see her at the moment. theres nothing to stop you seeing her in the future (and trust me its amazing how fast 5 years goes by:D ) so dont be cruel about it. you never know you may end up with her when your 30 but if things go arse ways now and she goes fatal attraction on ya your bollocksed

Aspiration

constitutionus wrote:

(and trust me its amazing how fast 5 years goes by:D )

...or even 3 years. I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 22. It just goes to show that in 3 years time, 4 years of an age gap isn't bad, as alot of maturing is done on both parts. But now she's 15, she's got a lot of maturing to do ahead of her. As one of the posters said, she can't even legally watch some movies. And anyways, you deserve to be out having a laugh and partying yourself. You're young- go out and enjoy yourself. You shouldn't be worrying about the legalities of a girl you're with.

If you really love her, and she really loves you, 3 years isn't long to wait and she'll understand why you break it off.

it's a tricky situation your in, if you love her and she feels the same way and you think she is mature enough then try make things work. if you do decide to break it off with her i just hope she understands and doesn't decide to report you for statutory rape out of spite.

Mr Magnolia

Sorry if this sounds simplistic, she is a child, you are not.

Hagar

Break it off with her but do it gently. Don't put yourself in the position that she starts telling people that's she's only 15 and you took advantage of her because she is angry over being dumped.

Ickle Magoo

What would you have said if she told you she was 15 when you first met? Would you still have wanted her to be your gf? If the answer is no, or that you would have waited until she was 17 to become romantically involved then I think you have your answer....

If your gf loves you and wants to be with you & that is why she lied about her age, she should respect your decision to call it off or at least cool things down....after all, other than believe her at her word you have done nothing wrong and she has put you in this awkward postition by lying to you....not the most auspicious of starts to your budding relationship.....it wasn't very fair of her at all.....

timmy79

give her a few years, i,m 27 and my girlfriend is 21.we dont notice age difference.
once she gets to a age u can both enjoy same things u'll be grand.

kittenkiller

It's only been 3 months.
She is a child in every way!
You're old enough to know better.
You're young enough to move on quickly.
You're too young to wait 2 years without sex & remain faithful or within the boundaries of the law.

End it with her.
& find out what else she's lied to you about.
Try to limit the damage by explaining anyone who's seen the two of you together that you thought she was older & that you aren't the pervert they might think you are!

Loomis

As someone already said...had you done anything with her sexually then you could be jailed for statutory rape because she lied.
This clearly shows her immaturity and naivety.All it would take is for her parents to find out.And don't try to kid yourself by thinking any father wouldn't report the guy who his 15 year old daughter had sex with if he's over the age of 18

Zulu

End it.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Just in case she is a b!tch, end it nicely. You wouldn't want dirty rumours of statatory rape flying around.

rsynnott

constitutionus wrote:

man she not only lied to you, shes potentially put you in the position of going to jail for statutory rape

Nope; she was underage anyway. He put himself in that position.

Crash

OP wrote:

i was obviously aware of the problems with her age and having sex but we both thought "ah sure ull be 17 in afew months".

eh, would people stop bantering around statutory rape things? the guy obviously was holding off until she was of legal age so give him some credit.

Cactus Col

do her then ditch her (only kidding)

you're probably better off breaking off until after she's done her leaving at least ... (tell her you'll only go out with her if she gets 500 points .. might give her some incentive) ... but it's the only fair thing to do for yourself and her.

Nuttzz

Cactus Col wrote:

do her then ditch her (only kidding)

you're probably better off breaking off until after she's done her leaving at least ... (tell her you'll only go out with her if she gets 500 points .. might give her some incentive) ... but it's the only fair thing to do for yourself and her.

breaking it off with a 15 year old doesnt automatically mean she will "take you back" when she is older....

thing is when your 30 a 4 year age gap is nothing but when your 19 its nearly a life time.

sadly its time for the "i love you but...." talk

LegacyUser

thanks for all the replies, its got me thinking and ive come to the decision of ending it.

Seamus: your right, we will be in two different worlds, maybe ill continue things in the future.

Ickle Magoo: "What would you have said if she told you she was 15 when you first met? Would you still have wanted her to be your gf?"

i wouldnt have been with her, but in my opinion 15 and 16 are a very different age.

well thanks lads and lassies its not gonna be easy but ill have to let her down gently, i think its the right thing to do

LegacyUser

How much do you like this girl? How much of a connection do you have?

Don't break it off because the people on this forum say so. Find out for yourself how you feel... listen to your heart.

Age is irrelevant in some (but not all) instances.

LegacyUser

Same position. 20 year old. Gf said she was 17 but is actually 16. Was really sorry about lying etc. I don't think I'll dump her though....

dlofnep

What's all this end it nonsense? Can you guys not give gim any clear advice? He's obviously loved up with this girl. Age isn't really important.

You said it yourself, you were ok on a moral level when you thought she was 16. Now that she is 15 the legal aspects fall into play. Girls mature alot more than guys on a mental level, from what I've seen anyways. Best thing to do is to just stay with her if you love her.. Girls come and go, but love is rare to find these days. You might be kicking yourself 3 months down the line.. And for what? Because you're worried what other people will think? Forget about them, they aren't important.

Just don't do anything stupid with her. Have fun, take her out to some movies. Let her mature with you. I wouldn't be upset with her - She probably lied because she liked you so much she didn't want to chance losing you by telling you she's 15.

At the end of the day, do what you want and not what other people want. Just don't do anything illegal with her and you'll be fine.

toffeapple

whats all this rape business about...did he sleep with her? did he say that?

constitutionus

toffeapple wrote:

whats all this rape business about...did he sleep with her? did he say that?

no he didnt but like most blokes he WANTS to and thought 17 aint that far away only to find out shes 15.

rsynnott wrote:

Nope; she was underage anyway. He put himself in that position

no he didnt, what would have happend if she kept schtum and led him to believe she'd just turned 17 at her last birthday. if they'd celebrated with sex he'd be going down for statuatory rape thinking everything was grand. the guy was lucky she fessed up or he'd be in a whole world of crap

Mr. Presentable

This is going to be really tough for the OP. There is no way he can stay with her - only the very naiive would expect him not to have sex with her before she's 17. If he dumps her, even gently, she might accuse him of carnal knowledge or worse. He's got to get her to dump him!

OP, become very boring, smelly, whatever it takes to put her off without making her angry or vindictive.

rsynnott

constitutionus wrote:

no he didnt, what would have happend if she kept schtum and led him to believe she'd just turned 17 at her last birthday. if they'd celebrated with sex he'd be going down for statuatory rape thinking everything was grand. the guy was lucky she fessed up or he'd be in a whole world of crap

My reading of the situation was that they'd already had sex. I may be wrong.

AngryBadger

Sparks400 wrote:

Sorry if this sounds simplistic, she is a child, you are not.

I make it a point to always agree with this kind of thing.

The Ritz

This is going to be really tough for the OP

......


...... Not half as tough as it might be if her Da or brothers took a dislike to a 19year old boyfriend for their 16 year old daughter/sister...............


Good decision, OP, stick to it.


The Ritz.

ShiverinEskimo

15 is the legal age for Oral sex so you can at least have some sexual relations to see through until she is older. (Fact not opinion before the righteous folk come down on me)

But seriously man, the biggest point here is that the 4 years between 15 and 19 are possible the biggest of anyones life. When I look at the difference between me doing my junior and me in 2nd year in college I laugh at how much I changed.

Stabshauptmann

Well I usually lie about my age. I think ppl wont want to get to know me if they know how young I am. But when I do eventually tell them my age, without exception the reaction has been "wow, you're very mature for your age" and it doesnt matter.

If you like this girl, and she seems mature and resposible enough to you, then **** it, age is a poor indicator of a lo of things.

constitutionus

Kaptain Redeye wrote:

Well I usually lie about my age. I think ppl wont want to get to know me if they know how young I am. But when I do eventually tell them my age, without exception the reaction has been "wow, you're very mature for your age" and it doesnt matter.

If you like this girl, and she seems mature and resposible enough to you, then **** it, age is a poor indicator of a lo of things.

except in a court of law, when your going DOWN

AngryBadger

constitutionus wrote:

except in a court of law, when your going DOWN

lol double entendre! I love it! :v: