Answers to Junior Cert Questions

scuba steve

> >The following questions and answers were collected from last year's
> >Junior exam results. These are genuine responses!!
> >(from 16year olds) Classics!

> >Geography
> >Q: Name the four seasons.
> >A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

> >Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe
> >to drink.
> >A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
> >pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

> >Q: How is dew formed?
> >A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

> >Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
> >A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All
> >water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water
> >on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins

>in this fight.

> >Sociology
> >Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
> >A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well
> >endowed.

> >Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
> >A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an
> >election.

> >Q: What are steroids?
> >A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

> >Biology
> >Q: What happens to your body as you age?
> >A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
> >intercontinental.

> >Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
> >A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
> >adultery.

> >Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
> >A: Premature death.

> >Q: What is artificial insemination?
> >A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

> >Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
> >A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]

> >Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g.
> >abdomen)
> >A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the
> >borax the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the
> >borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains
> >the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.

> >Q: What is the Fibula?
> >A: A small lie.

> >Q: What does "varicose" mean?
> >A: Nearby.

> >Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
> >A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

> >Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
> >A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

> >Q: What is a seizure?
> >A: A Roman emperor.

> >Q: What is a terminal illness?
> >A: When you are sick at the airport

> >Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic
> >feature?
> >A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
> >umbrellas.

> >English
> >Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand
> >its meaning.
> >A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

> >Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
> >A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

> >Technology
> >Q: What is a turbine?
> >A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head

StupidLikeAFox

scuba steve wrote:

> >The following questions and answers were collected from last year's
> >Junior exam results. These are genuine responses!!

Sure they are....

**elaine**

True or not, there was some funny ones in there!

Squirrel

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

They promised my answers would be kept secret

Fast_Mover

iv seen the afforementioned questions and answers before and it said they were answers from primary school children...and im inclined to believe that before the previously stated junior cert students..

film_gonzo

Fast_Mover wrote:

iv seen the afforementioned questions and answers before and it said they were answers from primary school children...and im inclined to believe that before the previously stated junior cert students..

Still, why would you ask primary school children about artificial insemination???

C_Breeze

> >Q: How is dew formed?
> >A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.



whats wrong with that one??? ... thats what i would have answered.

as for the rest of them , they are funny , but i dont think theyre for real.

Merrick

They can't all be for real, I don't think anyone can be that stupid. Funny though.

Doper Than U

>English
> >Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand
> >its meaning.
> >A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Real or not, that's great

Nietzschean

its ancient, last time i saw it they were supposidly responses to some GCSE exam r dat...

netwhizkid

Dude if you are going to copy something from an email at least remove the >>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>, They are headwrecking!

TomTom

sure it may be fake but i can seriously see this been put as an answer by someone.

> >Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
> >A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

TerrorFirmer

So so but this one is the best:

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

biko

> >Q: What does "varicose" mean?
> >A: Nearby.

LOL so close, pardon the pun

HybridTech

Is that what flirtation is for? Removing dead sheep and canoeists!