Another "Is he interested thread?"

elle · 20-01-2006 2:08am #1

Don't even know how to go about asking this question but here goes. Met a guy a few months back, we hit it off, and kept in touch ever since. I'm not so good at the asking people out thing, not gonna pull the "it's coz i'm shy" routine but basically i just suck at it.

So hinted and whatever but whenever he asked me out it was with the gang, i know a couple of them and get on with them but wud rather get to know him on his own. We've few mutual friends and live near enough to each other so if we're out together or both in town we end up sharing taxi etc.

Up until recently it was just a laugh but I actually think i'm starting to like the guy, but I really dunno if he feels the same way and is holding back or just sees me as a convenient shag. We speak nearly every day and have a laugh together, but I just can't get this out of my head, hence the 1am post!!! Don't wanna make a complete fool of myself by asking but would like to know where I stand. Been thinking about it and i know i've nothing to lose really, i mean the worst he can do is say no, but then I'd have to avoid him forever!!!!

What should I do?????

Agent Smith · 20-01-2006 2:18am

be honest, most lads would be delighted and flattered that a girl has so much intrest in them, ( unless its brad pitt):)

Pick up your phone, text him and ask him out to the cinema, out for a drink, something that (if he would be afraid) seems Just like a friend.

Pick up your phone and TEXT him, Right now...

Joe

quank · 20-01-2006 2:19am

I'm sorta in that situation aswell, but me being a guy.

Don't use subtle hints, use big mad ones, like "wanna stay in mine tonight?" or something like, I'd say. That really shows you like him. He might be in the same situation, probably. He might also be worried you could say no and wouldn't want to keep avoiding you too.

Man, I don't think I shed any light there...

Good luck!

Jimi-Spandex · 20-01-2006 2:27am

How you'd come to any conclusion other than he likes you is beyond me. Is he a little shy himself? That could be why he wanted to have the security of his friends with him.

Just give him a call, don't bother with a text. They're bloody childish.

Don't be worried about rejection.

Just go for it.

Agent Smith · 20-01-2006 2:29am

strange, i just got a text of a friend of mine asking me to the pub tomorrow night.....

elle · 20-01-2006 2:29am

I KNOW but its so hard!!!! I'm not a clingy, needy girlfriendy type, most of my boyfriends haven't been boyfriends, just special friends! Maybe I am being too casual, but Its so scary!!! He's been out straight like that" STAY AT MINE??" a couple of times but his timing is always so so off, as in he invites me at times when it'd be physically impossible, so maybe i put him off!

elle · 20-01-2006 2:40am

Also, i dunno if i've just convinced myself of this but just get the impression(not from him but guys in general) that guys our age aren't into relatioships, or girlfriends, preferring the another night another girl approach???? I'm I just bein totally insecure and presumtious or is this the truth???

funk-you · 20-01-2006 3:13am

Blatantly ask him out, he wants you. DO IT.

-Funk

constitutionus · 20-01-2006 10:23pm

elle wrote:

Also, i dunno if i've just convinced myself of this but just get the impression(not from him but guys in general) that guys our age aren't into relatioships, or girlfriends, preferring the another night another girl approach???? I'm I just bein totally insecure and presumtious or is this the truth???

Guys your age ARE into "another night ,another girl". the question you have to ask is , is he "guys" or is he A guy. you should be able to tell by how he treats other women. your not THAT young and he could be more mature than you think and if you've read my posts in the other thread you'll know how i feel on this issue. i'll just say this, no guy anywhere EVER didnt like being asked out by a girl. he may say no but he'll respect you for having the guts to do it.
and hey , even if he does say no dont avoid the guy or make an issue of it. you never know the idea may grow on him. particularly seeing as your friends already, and he may just need time to adjust to the idea of it (mind you the last friend i asked out tried to get me beaten up so what do i know:D )

AngryBadger · 21-01-2006 1:53am

:rolleyes:

elle wrote:

He's been out straight like that" STAY AT MINE??" a couple of times but his timing is always so so off, as in he invites me at times when it'd be physically impossible, so maybe i put him off!

Odds are if he's said this then yeah, he's into a convenient shag. the question now would be, is that all he's after?

I'd say don't do anything, just let thigns take their course. If he is interested something will happen, and tbh it sounds like there've been plenty of chance for him to make a move, but hes hasn't, aside from inviting you to stay at his, which suggests the convenient lay scenario.

Which is cool, if you're up for it, that can sometimes lead to good relationship time, but it's a risk, and will you be able to deal with it if it doesn't work.

Also, I think you can ask him straight out without having to avoid him forever is he says no. :rolleyes:

Civilian_Target · 21-01-2006 6:30pm

One thing's for sure. He is interested.

elle · 22-01-2006 6:10pm

Yeah I've decided to leave it for a while see how it goes, no point risking it for the sake of asking him out. I mean what we have now is better than nothing, just gonna enjoy it. Keep telling myself I don't REALLY like him just twenty something desperation setting in!!! Sure something better could come along in the meantime. . . cheers for the advice though, much appreciated!

Eminem · 22-01-2006 6:22pm

If i was you i would ask him because if you wait a while you might regret it in the end

omb0wyn5ehpij9 · 22-01-2006 6:23pm

Ask him out! Do it NOW! Seriously, the longer you leave it the harder it will get. And if you ask him out now, it will stop all the confusing thoughts in your head!

elle · 22-01-2006 6:26pm

Yeah but if I ask him now and he is just seeing me as a convenience then i'll look like a desperate needy ****er and prob scare him off. I mean I think i like him but what if I've just convinced myself of this. I'm usually pretty good at playing it cool, casual, not diving into the relatiopnship thing. As i said, mutual friends, don't want it getting around and them all knowing i was rejected!!! Really would rather protect my ego!

omb0wyn5ehpij9 · 22-01-2006 6:35pm

elle wrote:

Yeah but if I ask him now and he is just seeing me as a convenience then i'll look like a desperate needy ****er and prob scare him off. I mean I think i like him but what if I've just convinced myself of this. I'm usually pretty good at playing it cool, casual, not diving into the relatiopnship thing. As i said, mutual friends, don't want it getting around and them all knowing i was rejected!!! Really would rather protect my ego!

If he see's you as a convenience, are you happy staying like that? If he is just using you for a bit of fun?

At least if you asked him out then you would know if he was rally interested or not too pushed at all

Eminem · 22-01-2006 6:40pm

BrynW wrote:

If he see's you as a convenience, are you happy staying like that? If he is just using you for a bit of fun?

At least if you asked him out then you would know if he was rally interested or not too pushed at all

The you will know where you stand at least with him GOOD LUCK

elle · 22-01-2006 6:42pm

Yeah but at the moment the convenience thing is working both ways. Wasn't intentional just have fun together. I was happy wit that til these feelings developed so i'd rather leave it a little longer see if i sense anything before i put myself out there!!! i'm not really an 'ask guys out' kinda gal. Not up my own arse kinda way, like i don't expect them to and if i have t be the one doin the asking then they prob arent interested

Another "Is he interested thread?"

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