Sexual frustration...

LegacyUser

It has been about 8 months since I have had any sexual contact...now I am a virgin, but have enjoyed pretty much everything else in the sexual realm and it is beginning to make me feel less attractive. I am not a skinny, tiny, perfect looking woman, but I am slim and have a curvy feminine shape. I feel sexy in myself and I am missing passion and intimacy etc. I guess I would just like to know that I am not alone and that maybe (hopefully!) things might change some fine day!! ARGHHHH - just needed to get that out, thanks for reading!

dell6680

Unreg_girl wrote:

It has been about 8 months since I have had any sexual contact...now I am a virgin, but have enjoyed pretty much everything else in the sexual realm and it is beginning to make me feel less attractive. I am not a skinny, tiny, perfect looking woman, but I am slim and have a curvy feminine shape. I feel sexy in myself and I am missing passion and intimacy etc. I guess I would just like to know that I am not alone and that maybe (hopefully!) things might change some fine day!! ARGHHHH - just needed to get that out, thanks for reading!

If it's been 8 months and no guys have hit on you, you don't look good enough. It's pretty much all down to looks whether or not a guy will chat you up. Straighten your hair, buy nice clothes, lose some weight etc.

If you look good, guys will like you. For girls, how you look is extremely important. Girls know this consciously or subconsciously, so they obcess over their looks and buy make up and all that stuff.

rugbug86

dell6680 wrote:

If it's been 8 months and no guys have hit on you, you don't look good enough. It's pretty much all down to looks whether or not a guy will chat you up. Straighten your hair, buy nice clothes, lose some weight etc.

If you look good, guys will like you. For girls, how you look is extremely important. Girls know this consciously or subconsciously, so they obcess over their looks and buy make up and all that stuff.

i think you're talking bull to be honest.
i also am not a skinny, tiny, perfect looking woman but i still get hit on.
its all about confindence - if you have confidence in yourself, it'll make you more attractive, and you'll have the confidence to approach guys yourself.

BigArnie

If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room

dell6680

rugbug86 wrote:

i think you're talking bull to be honest.
i also am not a skinny, tiny, perfect looking woman but i still get hit on.
its all about confindence - if you have confidence in yourself, it'll make you more attractive, and you'll have the confidence to approach guys yourself.

Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.

rugbug86

dell6680 wrote:

Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.

and i know what i'm talking about!

Dathai

Just have some confidence, be easy.Wink at guys from across the room or just stare a little and smile.Its all about flirting and putting out the gesture first.Whether or not you're "the perfect woman", if you stay clean and are smelling good, someone's going to like you.This whole not getting any situation isnt doing anything for your confidence either, just think to yourself about all the guys that are single out there, the guys that want a bit of fun, you have a chance!!! Tonight's saturday, get out and have fun!

Dustaz

1. Purchase Miniskirt and wear it.
2. Go to nightclub.
3. Stand in nightclub for approx 2 mins.
4. Decide whether you want to have sex with the blokes now checking you out.
5. Enjoy the attention and feel more confident.

pork99

Dustaz wrote:

1. Purchase Miniskirt and wear it.
2. Go to nightclub.
3. Stand in nightclub for approx 2 mins.
4. Decide whether you want to have sex with the blokes now checking you out.
5. Enjoy the attention and feel more confident.

Oh yes, men compete, women select.

Nalz

Unreg_girl wrote:

I feel sexy in myself and I am missing passion and intimacy etc.

you'll certainly get that passion back if ya do what Dustaz says!

Dustaz wrote:

1. Purchase Miniskirt and wear it.
2. Go to nightclub.
3. Stand in nightclub for approx 2 mins.
4. Decide whether you want to have sex with the blokes now checking you out.
5. Enjoy the attention and feel more confident.

Nevyn

There are certain feel good chemical that your body creates when you are flirting never mind during certain stimulus and the release of an orgasm.
They are natrual highs to speak and once you get used to them your boby misses them. This can be something as simple as kissing or holding hands.
A bit like eating chocolate for the first time and then not being able to have any.
Anything that feel that good can be addictive.
And when your not having those chemicals made you body misses then and just like a sugar rush or caffine rush or chocolate binge
or drinking there is a down period.
This can effect your mood and self image and well you fell down and in the dumps.
Thankfully there are other ways to get those endorpines moving, excersie is a good way and will get you up and moving and feeling better and fit.

When you go from having someone in you life that you have feeling for and a certain amount of physical contact to not seeing anyone there is a withdrawl period.
We are physical people and we all like to be huged and touched and soothed
never mind getting laid or getting off and that can be what some people miss the most.

ferdi

OP if you really wanted to (as with any woman) you could go out into the streets and find a willing male sexual partner in about 30seconds flat.

lazydaisy

If you want passion and intimacy than you may just have to be patient.

If you want a shag thats easy. But not always gratifying.

Guys, its not as easy as you think for women, because for women sexuality is mental, whereas for guys its about urge and need so there is pretty much no such thing as bad sex for guys, like theres no such thing as bad pizza, even the crap pizza is good, but for women, this is not the case.

I hear you OP. You need to store up that energy and sublimate it toward allure so you find a guy with some, lets call it finesse. Rare these days I grant you.

AngryBadger

dell6680 wrote:

If it's been 8 months and no guys have hit on you, you don't look good enough. It's pretty much all down to looks whether or not a guy will chat you up. Straighten your hair, buy nice clothes, lose some weight etc.

If you look good, guys will like you. For girls, how you look is extremely important. Girls know this consciously or subconsciously, so they obcess over their looks and buy make up and all that stuff.

This guy's an idiot, and he can only have an orgasm after killing a dog, so he wouldn't know much about sex, or women

OP have you been out, meeting peopel, have you been on dates, and just decided you weren't interested? More details would be helpful, as we have no idea what your' current dating/socialising profile is like.

Heyes

dell6680 wrote:

If it's been 8 months and no guys have hit on you, you don't look good enough. It's pretty much all down to looks whether or not a guy will chat you up. Straighten your hair, buy nice clothes, lose some weight etc.

If you look good, guys will like you. For girls, how you look is extremely important. Girls know this consciously or subconsciously, so they obcess over their looks and buy make up and all that stuff.

I think you seriously need to get over yourself.. :rolleyes: , your opinion strikes me of that of a shallow young kid, who doesnt know any better...sorry but its what comes across...

OP, just go out and relax and be yourself and it will come heading your way. From talking to a lot of lads, they just want someone that they can have a laugh with, same as us girls... so just relax and see what happens.

the_syco

Feeling down? Then guys will see you being miserable, and may not chat you up. If you smile, guys will usually talk to you.

Heyes

the_syco wrote:

Feeling down? Then guys will see you being miserable, and may not chat you up. If you smile, guys will usually talk to you.

Bang on..

drunkenfool

i know how you feel, i havnt even scored let alone anything else since the summer, its getting really depressing and my confidence is lowering. ive almost forgot how to chat up women, and when i go out its my sole mission and then i get too drunk and forget about it and rather have a laugh with the lads
wake up then pissed off again!!! its a horrible cycle of no lovin for me.

Chucky the tree

the_syco wrote:

. If you smile, guys will usually talk to you.

And, if your wearing a mini-skirt and low cut top guys will definitly talk to you.

nlgbbbblth

Unreg_girl wrote:

I am not a skinny, tiny, perfect looking woman

rugbug86 wrote:

i also am not a skinny, tiny, perfect looking woman

I find skinny women repulsive.

Endurance Man

dell6680 wrote:

If it's been 8 months and no guys have hit on you, you don't look good enough. It's pretty much all down to looks whether or not a guy will chat you up. Straighten your hair, buy nice clothes, lose some weight etc.

If you look good, guys will like you. For girls, how you look is extremely important. Girls know this consciously or subconsciously, so they obcess over their looks and buy make up and all that stuff.

LOL, what a crock of ****.

OP - Confidence plays a big part as mentioned. Get out more and converse with guys, if your confident and show your interested they will respond .

Spitfire666

Don't take Dell's "advice" for a start.
Skinny women can look like young boys so be thankfull your slim and NOT skinny. Don't worry about not getting any and think about going out and having a laugh. If you see a nice guy chat with him,make a few light hearted jokes and don't think about getting laid and its more likley to happen. If you come accross as needy, or sluty (wearing tarty clothes), your more likely to end up with a grope on the dance floor or a quicky in an ally rather than good sex.

I went through a rather long dry spell but gave up actively looking for a shag and just had a laugh with girls i met and got more luck then ever.

LegacyUser

Besides one particular male poster...I am sure you can all guess, it's nice to hear people's opinions and advice. I guess to put things in context, I am currently living abroad and it seems to me like Irish men or at least European men find me a lot more attractive than those on the other side of the Atlantic. I have socialised a good bit, but there is a LOT more pressure here to be in a relationship and I often feel people even feel sorry for me, which I find quite pathetic on their part really. Super skinny seems to be the way to go, but I won't be changing myself for that reason as I am comfortable and quite happy with my looks. I will try to be more positive and smiley - I know that's important. Thanks again!

WhiteWashMan

dell6680 wrote:

If it's been 8 months and no guys have hit on you, you don't look good enough. It's pretty much all down to looks whether or not a guy will chat you up. Straighten your hair, buy nice clothes, lose some weight etc.

If you look good, guys will like you. For girls, how you look is extremely important. Girls know this consciously or subconsciously, so they obcess over their looks and buy make up and all that stuff.

for someone who claims to have found the way to score first time everytime, you dont know much.

dundalk cailin

i agree with thaedyal; i havent even kissed someone since i was home at christmas, ok, i know thats not a long time, but i know it'll continue til i get home and it gets me down a bit.

LundiMardi

i hate when people do ''everything else in the sexual realm'' other than full blown sex and still consider themselves a virgin.. It's a fools game i tells ya.

LegacyUser

OK, to be honest I really don't consider myself a virgin and I hate the connotations of that word in many circumstances, but I guess I just wanted to give a full picture of my situation. Anyway, fact remains, I am sexually frustrated!

LundiMardi

so go out and do something about it, i'm sorry but if you were a guy then you may have a problem.. but you're not, and guys are not too picky, just go and throw yourself at someone and you're sorted. Not much of a dilema there methinks..

elle

I for one totally believe in this you gotta love yourself if you want anyone else to love you. Went through a similar phase myself for a while, was suffering pretty bad with depression. After a while of looking in the mirror and feeling **** , you just come to believe that you really are ugly fat unattractive, who would want you.

You really just gotta make yourself feel better, rather than lying aroung the house feeling crap, get out there, go for a walk, buy some fake tan, lash a bit of dye into your hair and buy a new outfit. You don't have to be a twig for a guy to notice you(in fact i work in a nightclub and popular opinion is that skinny is out, apparently there's gotta be something there to hold onto!!!) If you go out and sit in the corner all night how do u expect a bloke to notice you, go out, make eye contact, smile, be happy!!!!

Really if you just take a little time out to think about yourself and put a little effort in, it will pay off

hollyhamill

no nono
4get all that crap b 4 u start winkin across d room and wearin mini skirts just think a minute!
all you need to do is be having fun and d rest will follow, start giving urself a chance to meet new people and just try to make new friends , go to a diff club, start a night class, just do something different and change you whole life - not just your sex life

x)

elle

never mentioned mini skirts, just mean that eye contact is the way t get talking to ppl, looking them iin the eye, saying hi, rather than sitting in a corner with your eyes to the floor ... eye contact gives the impression that ur friendly

MiniMetro

I'll do you.

lau1247

post a picture then we'll judge.. you might even get ask out from boards' people..

Just a suggestion..

LegacyUser

i know how you feel op. i haven't 'gotten any' in about 5 months and am horny as hell tbh. am currently in 6th year so haven't been going out too much so not meeting anyone new. what's a girl to do??

simu

^

But a vibrator tbh.

aidan_walsh

simu wrote:

^

But a vibrator tbh.

Freudian slip?

simu

Dodgy keyboard meets my crappy typing, more like!

nobodythere

dell6680 wrote:

Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.

From your perspective. From your experience. Meaning you're a prick, the kind of guy she could really do without.

pepper

dell6680 wrote:

If it's been 8 months and no guys have hit on you, you don't look good enough. It's pretty much all down to looks whether or not a guy will chat you up. Straighten your hair, buy nice clothes, lose some weight etc.

If you look good, guys will like you. For girls, how you look is extremely important. Girls know this consciously or subconsciously, so they obcess over their looks and buy make up and all that stuff.

oh is that so mr smartass. well i have always been a big girl and i have NO PROBLEM getting guys- and i always get chatted up before my "skinny" friends- so shut the hell up little boy ya have no idea what your talking about- your probley fat and spotty yourself- you waste of space

how dare you tell her she doesnt look good enough, you,d probley be one of the first guys to attempt to chat her up in a club.

You patehic worm

The Corinthian

Unreg_girl wrote:

It has been about 8 months since I have had any sexual contact...now I am a virgin, but have enjoyed pretty much everything else in the sexual realm and it is beginning to make me feel less attractive. I am not a skinny, tiny, perfect looking woman, but I am slim and have a curvy feminine shape. I feel sexy in myself and I am missing passion and intimacy etc. I guess I would just like to know that I am not alone and that maybe (hopefully!) things might change some fine day!! ARGHHHH - just needed to get that out, thanks for reading!

It’s kind of difficult to suggest anything without understanding your age and social circumstances - you could be anything between a schoolgirl living with her folks and an aging cat lady. Without that all anyone here can suggest is that you go out and roll the dice and be confident in yourself.

And if you can’t be confident in yourself, then fake it.

lazydaisy wrote:

there is pretty much no such thing as bad sex for guys, like theres no such thing as bad pizza, even the crap pizza is good, but for women, this is not the case.

Word of advice petal - don't chastise the boys for jumping to conclusions about female sexuality than commit the same sin in reverse.

FYI, there is most certainly such a thing as bad sex for guys. Younger guys grin and bare it because they either don’t know any better or are simply happy to be having sex in the first place, so won’t complain. Older men will not tolerate this as much (at least for women their own age).

And, while we’re at it, there’s such a thing as bad pizza too.

Zombrex

The Corinthian wrote:

FYI, there is most certainly such a thing as bad sex for guys.

Amen to that.

lazydaisy

Corinthian -

Im not your petal. Dont call me that.

I didnt chastise anyone. Word of advice, {you can fill in whatever condescending pet name you like} dont chastise someone for doing something they didnt do.

Calm down and dont be so defensive. If you look at what people are advising her - that dress so you look available and go out then you can see what I was responding to.

The Corinthian

lazydaisy wrote:

dont chastise someone for doing something they didnt do.

Sure you did petal; you started by pointing out how complicated and “mental” female sexuality is then preceded to inform us what simple creatures men are in comparison.

So you came out with a silly statement, I corrected you and now we can all get on with our lives.

LegacyUser

Maybe my post (#23) was missed but I am 22 yrs old and living abroad right now. I have been living away from home for the past 4ish yrs since I started going to college. I won't be posting a photo, as it's possible that some friends/family may check this website, but as I already said I am quite comfortable with my looks (we all have our bad hair days, insecure moments!), and generally I am happy in my skin so the speak! Any more advice/opionions are appreciated, thanks.

tonyinuae

If only there were no such thing as bad sex for guys - wouldn't our lives be so much easier - and fun! :rolleyes:

The Corinthian

Unreg_girl wrote:

Maybe my post (#23) was missed but I am 22 yrs old and living abroad right now. I have been living away from home for the past 4ish yrs since I started going to college.

Sorry, missed that.

When in Rome, as they say. Do what the locals do - the rules of courtship, dating or whatever you want to call it vary from country to country. You should simply adapt to how they do it where you are and leverage your exoticness.

If I were you, given you’re happy with yourself, I’d also assume that every man finds you attractive and from that starting point see where it leads you. You’d be surprised how often such an assumption is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I won't be posting a photo, as it's possible that some friends/family may check this website

I wouldn’t anyway. You came here for advice, I’d assume, not to entertain a bunch of boys who don’t get to talk to girls very often.

LegacyUser

Unreg_girl wrote:

Maybe my post (#23) was missed but I am 22 yrs old and living abroad right now. I have been living away from home for the past 4ish yrs since I started going to college. I won't be posting a photo, as it's possible that some friends/family may check this website, but as I already said I am quite comfortable with my looks (we all have our bad hair days, insecure moments!), and generally I am happy in my skin so the speak! Any more advice/opionions are appreciated, thanks.

Unreg_girl: believe me, you are NOT alone. Don't force it... I'm a bloke, I'm older than you - in my late twenties. I'm fairly confident, not too cocky anyway. Been told I'm ehhh... "handsome". Anyway I've had the odd snog (yeah yeah school phrase but I'm being precise here), and went out with one or two for a while, but if I had the slightest feeling that I couldn't be bothered going out with this person for too long more, I never had the desire to sleep with them. I am still a virgin, but like you, I've err.... tried a few "different" things in the sack, but never actually went all the way, although as I said, sometimes I might as well have. Before others here jump on the "yeah right" bandwagon that is actually the truth. I reckon there is about 0.5% of men out there who would actually hold off on actually having intercourse (specifically intercourse) until they reckon they've found her. I happen to be one of them. Yes I get the raging desire to run into the next door neighbour sometimes who's twice my age for a bit of action but I still reckon it's good to wait.

Stop worrying about it. I don't. Don't let it get to your head. Otherwise you'll go berserk.

End of lecture.

Gordon

pepper, less of the insults; TC, petal, you know it annoys people when you do that so stop trolling; and anyone wanting pics or treating this place like a dating site may be banned so please don't.

dbnavan

Wear a mini skirt if ur desperate dont listen to these guys who tell you too, complete turn off to the type off guy who will respect you, get to know a guy talk to him, ask him out.

It will happen when you least expect it, I have been that guy, months without being laid etc etc, going with air of desperation, and beer breath then when I had given up hope, got hurt,
stopped nightclubs, then when I least expected it, and didnt want anyone, I met my wife!

Your gonna be very lucky if you meet the love of ur life dressed as a tart, meeting guys with one thing on there mind, half pissed, in a loud nightclub.

antoinolachtnai

Well, unreg_girl, unlike some of the other people here, I'm no expert, but one thing I've learned is this.

In different countries, the Rules of Engagement for dating and relationships are different. At first it seems like just small subtle things. If you smile at a local girl on the BART in SF she'll smile back. She generally won't in Dublin or London or NYC. Men are direct in approaching women in the scandinavian countries, but they are much more circumspect in Ireland. There is 'dating culture' in the US (like you see in Sex in the City or whatever) but that is only beginning to emerge in Ireland. If you don't know the basic rules and strategies that apply, you can show up at the 'scene', but you won't get anywhere much. It's like trying to ride the London Underground without reference to the map.

So my advice to you is to take some time and try and figure out what the local 'rules' are where you are living. Don't expect them to be the same as the rules from Ireland. You might want to follow them, or you might not, but at least you will know. Then just have fun!

Best of luck with it (and if you ever figure out the rules for Ireland, send me a copy).