Losing a good friend..

LegacyUser

Hi,

I My friend and I have been best friends since early days in school. But about 2 years ago now we suddenly stopped talking. Partly because I had moved away to another school. Since then we have havn't said a word to each other but we see each other all the time. Things were going fine with all my other friends that are in the same group. I have no idea why this particular friend has stopped talking to me and when I ask my other friends they say that nothing has happened and they don't know why he isn't talking. I however believe that they know but are too shallow to tell me. Also in the past few weeks I have noticed that I am beginning to drift from the rest of the group and that they are way more friendlier with him. They don't seem to call me etc anymore.
Now I feel that if I dont call any of them anymore I will loose them just I like I have lost my original friend even though I didn't do anything wrong. It is really having A negative effect on my self-esteem and my general outlook on life. What do you people here think of the whole situation or what I should do?

Thanks for listening...

(-_-)

Heyes

Your friends probable just dont want to get involved...

I would really encourage you to talk to your friend, and see whats bothering him, at least that way you ll know whats up. It may feel tough to approach him on the subject, but it will be worth it.

C_Breeze

thats ****e.
more than likley friend nr1 ha said something negative about you and is trying to turn others against u.

do something really sound for the others , like pay for a mcdonalds meal or something like that when youre out.

get them thinkin ahh john is not so bad , hes actually a nice guy, geddit?

py2006

Sounds like your mate was a bit dissapointed that you moved away. Perhaps he didn't hear much from you after you went?

lau1247

I think in my opinion..
this friend of yours somehow made everyone feels sympathy for him..

This happen to my friends..
Their situation was that we hang out with our usual group of people that we commonly meet up..
But then two of them started to go out..
When they split up..
It was really hard on all of us..
We don't want to pick sides but at times it may seem as if we did..

Just have a think about it..
You should really find out if anything is wrong..
Casually ask him.. maybe mention that you feel that you and your friend has drifted apart.. does he feel it too maybe?

skye

C_Breeze wrote:

thats ****e.
more than likley friend nr1 ha said something negative about you and is trying to turn others against u.

do something really sound for the others , like pay for a mcdonalds meal or something like that when youre out.

get them thinkin ahh john is not so bad , hes actually a nice guy, geddit?

Eh, no this is ****e!! You can't buy your way into friendship!!:eek: If I was you I would talk to friend No.1 and find out what the problem is... failing any joy there try again with the others... Unfortunately this is a part of life - people drift apart as life changes and moves on. I have lost contact with lots of old friends over the years but it is your "true" friends who will still be with you X number of years down the line... It's hard not to question yourself in these circumstances but over time you will learn to let go and move on...It's probably not even anything you have done, just a shift so look around and I bet you will find better friends more suited to who you are and where you are going....Good luck;)

LegacyUser

This happened to me a cuple of years ago too. But my friend and I are best buds again. My friends wouldn't tell me anything either - it was so frustrating - I felt as if I had no one I could trust....But they just didnt want to get in the middle because they were getting two sides of the story and just did not want to take sides. You moving away from school changes stuf. But it shouldnt change your friendship. Talk to your friend. Chances are he is feeling that you are weird and distant from him. Both of you feel the same way probably and therefore there is an awkwardness. Meet up with him and have a good long chat....good luck! Dont let it get you down.....I have been in your shoes and it is not worth it..to be sad..... make it clear to him that you are hurting!

joejoem

Its a really sad thing, but friends come and go. You may wonder where things went wrong but the truth is that people just sometimes drift apart, as you grow older your interests change and you become different people. Its just a sad part of reality. Maybe someday you will be friends again, who knows. Let him go though, dont push it.

arbeitsscheuer

(-_-) wrote:

Hi,

I My friend and I have been best friends since early days in school. But about 2 years ago now we suddenly stopped talking. Partly because I had moved away to another school. Since then we have havn't said a word to each other but we see each other all the time. Things were going fine with all my other friends that are in the same group. I have no idea why this particular friend has stopped talking to me and when I ask my other friends they say that nothing has happened and they don't know why he isn't talking. I however believe that they know but are too shallow to tell me. Also in the past few weeks I have noticed that I am beginning to drift from the rest of the group and that they are way more friendlier with him. They don't seem to call me etc anymore.
Now I feel that if I dont call any of them anymore I will loose them just I like I have lost my original friend even though I didn't do anything wrong. It is really having A negative effect on my self-esteem and my general outlook on life. What do you people here think of the whole situation or what I should do?

Thanks for listening...

(-_-)

Oh wow, this exact same thing has recently happened to me!
That is, honest to god, the most freaky coincidence I've seen on Boards in my 2 years here.

Well, basically, my way of dealing with it essentially amounts to denial. In essence, I've stopped bothering to hang around with or even talk to the particular group of mates, and especially the, (in my case best mate for 4 years), main friend in question.

Instead I'm hanging around more with friends I don't know as well, or at all, and tbh I think I'm coping ok. Lemme know how it goes anyway, cos it's early days in my experience of this as well.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.