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Ex friends

  • 22-01-2006 3:52pm
    #1
    dundalk cailin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,648 ✭✭✭


    Okay I fell out with a friend of mine (for arguments sake ill call her Ann) while on holidays summer 04. I got on really well with the other girl (Amy) who came along, and it was a brill laugh with her. before that the two of us only knew each other thru ann and i was a bit worried it's be a disaster. when we got back, my did a lot of bitching bout me, so i moved on. a friend of the two of us (Arlene) turned against me, took ann's side, even though i hadn't technically done anything wrong. Myself and arlene had grown apart a bit due to starting college, but we still kept in touch. This annoyed and upset me when this supposed-friend of mine completely cut me out with out letting me give my side of the story. But as i said i moved on, ive a good group of friends now, including Amy who im really close to, just one thing that bugs me is every so often i have a dream with the two of them (ann, arlene)in it, and they're threatening me, bullying me, or making my life a misery and they leave me in tears. Had it again last night.

    Is this just a case of wishing things could have worked out, its just i feel cheated in a way, as the whole problem started with ann being a complete bitch to me on hols as I got on really well with the other girl who came along. i think she was jealous that myself and amy bonded, not that we left her out, but i think she couldnt handle her jealously, so she was nasty bout me. its not that i want to be friends with them again, but i havent even seen much of them since last year, our paths dont really cross. I dont know, im just a bit confused as to why I have dreams (nightlmares?) bout them. i also have spoken to friends of ann's who i knew, that say she's fallen out with them too. is this girl just her own worst enemy? i have to say im surprised by the contempt thats built up in me against her. i am usually such a friendly, outgoing person with no real problems against people. people who i was talkin to after the holiday, and throughout the past year, have said oh hows ann? hows arlene? i tell them that we're no longer friends and they say but you's got on so well!

    Any advice appreciated. I have moved on, i guess its just my personality that cant deal with having two ex-friends mad at me when i didnt deliberatley do anything to them. by the way im not intending to waste your time, and im not a stupid 13, 14 year old, cos this happend a while ago and im just looking for any opinions,

    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    Eminem
    Closed Accounts Posts: 951 ✭✭✭Eminem


    What you need to do is talk to them this must be really bothering if ur feeling like this i know the feeling


  • #3
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,657 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    Why exactly did you fall out?


  • #4
    skye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 688 ✭✭✭skye


    I reckon you should just leave it where it is... I would say you are having these dreams / nightmares about it because you haven't really let it go... Once you fully do this you will find that they will stop.

    As you say, you now have a good group of friends so focus your attention on that and try to stop looking back - it's not always possible to fix problems that others have caused. Try to look forward to the furure and put it down to experience - you deserve to be happy and this is not allowing you to fully get there - let it go;)


  • #5
    arbeitsscheuer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,391 ✭✭✭arbeitsscheuer


    skye wrote:
    As you say, you now have a good group of friends so focus your attention on that and try to stop looking back - it's not always possible to fix problems that others have caused. Try to look forward to the furure and put it down to experience - you deserve to be happy and this is not allowing you to fully get there - let it go;)
    This is all spot on.

    I'm pretty much in the same situation as the OP, except that I'm still in college with the old group or "ex friends" as the OP calls them. But I don't see them that much and I've got a good group of mates now, not many but enough. I too have some nightmares and very interrupted sleep, and sometimes I can't get to sleep from worrying about it. Added to this I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder which doesn't exactly help.

    But Skye is right on the money. Just get on with your life, as I'm trying to do, and I'm certain that the dreams/nightmares will stop and the anxiety will fade, and you'll just enjoy the current state of affairs with your newer mates.


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