do i stick by my mate when she goes against my advice towards a bollox fella?

hollyhamill

ok long story ,

5 years ago i got 2 o my m8s together - brill!
on and off 4 the next 2 years - theyre still mates , its all good
then she cheats on him , 5 times , in the same night, ok thats her prob. i covered for her. when he (lets call him bob) eventually finds out about her (lets call her liz) cheating on him they had just split up 4 other reasons. no speaking,arguments etc for a few months . . . blah blah blah . then bob took liz back, one or two weeks passed fine and dandy until bob cheats on liz , with one of liz's mates. more arguments and fights . . . blah blah blah. this brings us to about 3 years ago, he was starting to smoke alot of hash and left school to go to dropout helper type school . . . surprise surprise, they have gotten back together! the two of the really love eachother by now. ok things r all on and off but nothing terrible, a few major fights and break ups but not too bad untill 6 months ago. liz invites bob out and he says he is busy . we see him meeting some one out of a car and then leavin again . people know things and rumours are flying but we havent been told anything so just brush everything off . bob has started doin coke wen he is out , which is alot of the time and considerin liz does not even drink-this is a big deal . then bob admits to liz he has benn cheating for the last 3 weeks with a single mother of about 3 years older . . . arguments , break ups . . blah blah again. we all hate bob.

6 weeks ago another friend was killed in a car crash. we were (and still are) devastated . liz is really shook up and the only person she can feel safe with is bob. i think bout giving him a ring but dont need to becaus the moment he heard the news he came straight over to see her and was really good to her over funeral times etc. he now wants to get back togetha with her.
pleas remember that even though they fight like cats and dogs, i do know they love each other, and despite the bad qualities bob really is a sound fella.
i know liz is still mad about him but i have been quite blunt and said it is him or me. i dont want to have to console her any more when he treats her like crap because she doesnot deserve it.

all your opinions appreciated.
thanx

Eminem

I think your going to have to do what you think is best to do

Terry

what are m8's? are they fireworks?

stick with your friend. she'll need your support when he dumps her or cheats on her again. tell her to cop onto herself, have some respect for herself (regarding being with five guys in one night). tell bob to f*ck off. he's quite obviously something of a charmer, but he also sounds like a complete loser.
i'm guessing that you are still in your teens. liz needs to look after herself a bit better. chances are she will get pregnant by bob if she is not careful and he will almost certainly dump her, leaving her to bring up the child on her own. point this out to her. it's for her own good.

Faith

First, you need to stop using txt speak!

Secondly, tell Liz to cop on and find herself someone new. It is not a real relationship, or real love, if they're constantly fighting and cheating on each other. Also, he's a drop-out and a druggie. Surely she can do better.

Eminem- I think the OP was asking us to tell her what's best to do, otherwise she wouldn't have posted.

TouchingVirus

Faith wrote:

First, you need to stop using txt speak!

Secondly, tell Liz to cop on and find herself someone new. It is not a real relationship, or real love, if they're constantly fighting and cheating on each other. Also, he's a drop-out and a druggie. Surely she can do better.

Eminem- I think the OP was asking us to tell her what's best to do, otherwise she wouldn't have posted.

I agree with teh above.

WhiteWashMan

hollyhamill wrote:

ok long story ,

5 years ago i got 2 o my m8s together - brill!
on and off 4 the next 2 years - theyre still mates , its all good
then she cheats on him , 5 times , in the same night, ok thats her prob. i covered for her. when he (lets call him bob) eventually finds out about her (lets call her liz) cheating on him they had just split up 4 other reasons. no speaking,arguments etc for a few months . . . blah blah blah . then bob took liz back, one or two weeks passed fine and dandy until bob cheats on liz , with one of liz's mates. more arguments and fights . . . blah blah blah. this brings us to about 3 years ago, he was starting to smoke alot of hash and left school to go to dropout helper type school . . . surprise surprise, they have gotten back together! the two of the really love eachother by now. ok things r all on and off but nothing terrible, a few major fights and break ups but not too bad untill 6 months ago. liz invites bob out and he says he is busy . we see him meeting some one out of a car and then leavin again . people know things and rumours are flying but we havent been told anything so just brush everything off . bob has started doin coke wen he is out , which is alot of the time and considerin liz does not even drink-this is a big deal . then bob admits to liz he has benn cheating for the last 3 weeks with a single mother of about 3 years older . . . arguments , break ups . . blah blah again. we all hate bob.

6 weeks ago another friend was killed in a car crash. we were (and still are) devastated . liz is really shook up and the only person she can feel safe with is bob. i think bout giving him a ring but dont need to becaus the moment he heard the news he came straight over to see her and was really good to her over funeral times etc. he now wants to get back togetha with her.
pleas remember that even though they fight like cats and dogs, i do know they love each other, and despite the bad qualities bob really is a sound fella.
i know liz is still mad about him but i have been quite blunt and said it is him or me. i dont want to have to console her any more when he treats her like crap because she doesnot deserve it.

all your opinions appreciated.
thanx

use english.
its a keyboard. not a phone keypad.

and i think youre friends are probably screwed up enough without you sticking your oar in. let them fúck up their own life, and you should get on with your own.

Fajitas!

Stick by her. She is your friend.

LundiMardi

they both seem made for each other to be honest.

elvis2002

how do you cheat on someone 6 times I night I just wondering. Sex 6 times or snogging in a pub with 6 different lads. I just wondering about that statement.

They probably made for each other.. one's as bad as the other.

Con9903

they seem like two people that really crave drama, considering they've created so many dramatic situations for themselves. They're both where they want to be.

Heyes

Stand by your friend

Just because she may or maynot get involved again with "bob", that is no reason for your friendship to end. A friend of mine did this to me aswell, i had gotten myself into a tricky situation and she got so annoyed with me when i didnt do and take her advice, i felt that to be very unfair as i have to make my own final decision.

All im saying is, stand by your friend, dont be making her choose, its not fair.

hollyhamill

thanks all,and faith, touchingvirus and whitewash man i am sorry about the typing-just bad habits! i'll try harder!
oh and elvis it was actually five times and i dont know how she managed it either.

AngryBadger

LundiMardi wrote:

they both seem made for each other to be honest.

Hear,hear

super_furry

They both sound as bad as each other, and you're acting pretty childish by saying 'it's either him or me.' Let her live her life and if she needs you, be there for her, that's what a good friend should do.

Zombrex

Con9903 wrote:

they seem like two people that really crave drama, considering they've created so many dramatic situations for themselves. They're both where they want to be.

I would agree with that ... some people (especially young people) see a relationship as constant drama, be that fighting or making up, because they probably don't actually like each other so the drama makes it appear they are in something special and exciting, where if you stick the two of them on a 4 hour bus journey they would probably say 10 words to each other the whole trip.

I very much doubt they are really mad about each other, more they really love the drama and excitment that is generated when they are around each other. Constant fighting with each other is a way of keeping the energy of an early relationship, but really is is juvenile fantasy, not love, in my opinion.

As to the OP question, it is very hard to do anything because of the death of your friend. If that hadn't happened I would tell you to tell you friend to cop herself on. But with your friend already upset and emotional you might just drive her into his arms.

I think for the moment you just have to stand by her. Maybe in a few weeks you can have a talk to her

Dustaz

I know the EXACT thing you should do. Untill you learn how to type like an adult with a full keyboard, I wont be telling you though.