Should i be worried

crazymonkey

the girlfriend of 8mths, is going out to resturants and then to pubs, on her own, and getting totally drunk doing so, Is this normal for a 21yr girl to do, or should i be worried that there may be someone else on the scene, she has done this a few times in the past 2 weeks,, she is not irish but that should not matter i think,,
What would ur opions be on this?

PowerHouseDan

On her OWN????I Would be worried if that was me anyway....Not that i would belive someone if they told me that

elvis2002

Why would she be going to restuarants on her own? Who those that? Ask her straight out, can you trust her? I see you are a little older than her. It's always possible she is going out with someone her own age but you are the older person who can provide things a 21 year old college man cant.

Its always possible, its always possible that nothing is going on too. How late does she come home? If we are talking early in the morning stuff like 6,7,8 then I'd be worried, there's a time between pub close and her arriving home. What she been doing during this period? Does she txt alot and not mention who she txt? Is she secretive with her phone, like making sure to always hide it and not leave it out in the open? Your instincts on this maybe totally wrong, she maybe just having a good time and like pubs etc but remember she's an open target at a nightclub for lads. Is she going to turn them down?
Ask her anyways, if you feel like this might damage things then get a look at her phone messages. I know it seems like a paronoid freak thing to do but it might confirm your suspicion's. If she finds you doing it then come clean why you did it? Because you care about her etc....

crazymonkey

don,t know what time she comes home at as we are not living tigether, she went out last night and had her fone switched off til 4pm today, she is very secertive with her texting and does it alot in three different languages so i dont see the point reading her texts, up til now i haven't thought much off it, but thats starting to change now

chump

Jaysus, it's taken you this long to suspect something?
She must be a good provider

I think you know yourself that something's up!
Sort it!

Toasty

i'm taking it that they are all men that have replied so i'm going to give you the woman's side of it!!
Emm she's going out and getting blind drunk on her own and you've been going with her 4 8 months!!
Even tho' girls r suppose 2 stick up 4 each other i'm a bit suspicious!!
i think the texting in different language cud just be to her family but if she's secretive about it then i'd say ask her bout it!!
but if you're a bit afraid of asking her then go on a lads' nite out and ACCIDENTALLY go to the same places as her and c what she's up to!! MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T C U!
this lads nite out has it's advantages and it's disadvantages.
advantage is you catch her out and can then break up with her and the disadvantage is that you see that she's up to nothing and feel real guilty about not trustin her.
do what you want with this information!
don't blame me if it goes belly up!

AngryBadger

Not to put too fine a point on it, but all the signs point to yes, she's seeing someone else.

Jonny Arson

Simple. Talk to her. Ask her where she is going. Ask here if you can go along with her. You have a right to know what she is up to since you are her boyfriend and will be naturally concerned or curious. If she doesn't give an honest answer back then you are going to follow her to see where she is going or what she is doing.

TBH man, it sounds like she isn't up to something good.

elvis2002

hmm. What languages she speak, just curious? Having her phone switched off is very dubious. You would think if somebody had there phone switched of at night they would turn it off when they get up? If you get up at 4, you must have went to bed between 5-8 am. It could be her battery is dead too though. I think you need to come straight out with it tbh. Ask her can you trust her on night outs? There's no point worrying and beating around the brush

crazymonkey

Languages are, Latvian, russin and german as well as english off course,
hmmm i was afraid i'd get the responses i did,, well i cant see her til thursday due to my work, so i will confront her then,

Thanks guys

elvis2002

You could be one of many boyfriends in each language....

Remember, either way, just tell her how you feel. Do you feel like you are the only one? Is it you that spends important nights with her? Like say at Christmas, was it you she was with? Just wondering because Im not sure if your relationship is serious from your description or just one day a week thing

crazymonkey

relationship quite serious she talks of marrage and kids with me, and i have to admit it did not sound bad up until now, and yes she spent xmas with me.

Toasty

MARRAIGE! KIDS!
eh ya need to give this 1 a serious think

elvis2002

Maybe you could introduce the conversation with, "What do you do when lads approach you in the pub"? See how it goes anyways, dont beat yourself up over it, she obviously cares for you if she's thought of marriage and kids with you.
Maybe its time to take the relationship to the next level? Live together etc. Valentines day is always a good time to suggest something like that. Ah anyways, find out what you need to know and then think of the future.
Get back to us on how it goes.

elvis2002

Toasty wrote:

disadvantage is that you see that she's up to nothing and feel real guilty about not trustin her.

Lads dont feel guilty over something like this. It's actually a reassurance and makes you love her more.

Toasty

elvis2002 wrote:

Lads dont feel guilty over something like this. It's actually a reassurance and makes you love her more.

really well i learn something new everyday don't i!
if you thought ur woman was cheatin on you and you followed her and she wasn't. would you not feel guilty bout doubting her in the first place?

LegacyUser

Maybe she is a little homesick and culture shocked. That sort of stuff, in my experience of travelling and working around different countries (even staying put in the one place for a long time), can lead to heavy 'drinking/binging sessions'.

elvis2002

Toasty wrote:

would you not feel guilty bout doubting her in the first place?

No, id realize that I can trust her and that I have nothing to worry about. I wouldn't feel any guilt what so ever.

Toasty

ok well thats you maybe other fellas feel differently! maybe they do maybe they dont!

LegacyUser

A female friend of mine went through a period of time going out on her own getting drunk. She didn't have a boyfriend at the time. She was doing it for attention from her friends. She was a bit lonely at the time. Some other friends were busy with their bfs. I was busy with college. From her it was her way of crying for help. It was a dangerous thing to do (young girl out on her own getting drunk - easy target) but think she could have done a lot worse (take pills etc). She got my attention.

It seems to me that a lot of people so far are suggesting that your gf has been cheating on you. I don't necessarily think that is the case. The only way you can find out why she is doing it is to talk to her about it. Shes not gonna tell you right out "I'm cheating on you" or "I'm lonely" or whatever her story is. It is up to you to dig a bit to find out.

Roen

Check pm m8

toffeapple

follow her

crazymonkey

thanks for all the opoins so far, i will confront her on thursday, don't really want to follow her or read her texts as this is breaking trust,, i won't stoop to that level even if she has, if her explanation is not satifactory i will end it,

toffeapple

if you folow her and she doesnt find out whats the problem...what if you follow her and discover she is not doing anything!!