Work problems!!! What do I do? :(

LegacyUser

Im goin unreged for this one. I'm a little embarassed aout an incedent that happened at work. I had the whole story typed out untill my browser refreshed and I lost everything so I'm a little frustrated atm.

Anyway, the story goes like this. About 6 weeks ago I was at work with only an hour to go untill I was off. I hate using public toilets as much as the next person and I really really needed to take a huge big shit but I decided to hold it till after work. My bowels put up a decent fight for about half an hour, by that stage I couldn't hold it any longer. I waited for suitable gap in toilet use and I went for it. I made a mad dash for the jacks. Of course in my rush to get the little brown monster out of me I didn't take the time to lay down any plopping countermeasures. Of course upon my arsecheeks connecting with the toilet seat, who walks in? Nobody but my boss. It was too late at that stage to abort so I went with the flow. Normally a turd entering water sounds much like a small pebble entering a shallow pool of water. This was the exact opposite. I kid you not, it sounded like a 5 tonne boulder falling off a cliff, into the deepest part of the ocean. It was so loud, a miricale by all means. I didn't even realise because I was just so relieved, but I let out a huge fart as well. It was a real squeeker, like in dumb and dumber where harry (I think) is on the can in that girls house. This set my boss in the cubicle next to me into hysterics laughing. I couldn't control it at all. He actually burst out laughing. He didn't even try and conceal it. He was absolutly roaring with laugher. At this stage I started getting really really embarassed. It was horrible. Word got around the office of the little incodent as well which made it worse.

Fast forward to last Friday. I had finally gotten over all of the embarasment when the exact same situation arises out of no where. I was at work with a half an hour left when I felt the urge to take another mamoth shite. It was terrible. I tried to hold it again but to no avail. I made a desperate dash for the jacks when there was a free slot. Of course just as I got there someone else went in. To avoid the same situation as the last time I decided to feck it all and I decided I'd try and make it all the way home! I made it to the lift before my bowels gave way. I shat in my pants. Of course who did I meet on the ground floor? My God damn boss. I told him I had to go somewhere urgently. I quickly ran to the staff room which thank god was empty and I emptied the contents of my pants in to the bin. I exited throught an open window to avoid any other possible confrontations with my collegues. But wait, it's not over yet. I had to get the bus home! After a 20 minute wait at my bus stop I got on my bus and found a seat down the back. Luckily the bus was empty. I think an old lady noticed the smell because she kept on checking her shoes presumably looking for dog shit.

Anyway, what the hell do I do? If my boss noticed a smell he'll definatly have told everyone! I havn't been back to work yet and I don't really want to either. I'm really ****ting myself about it (no pun intended). What should I do? Should I just go and deny everything? Should I quit my job?

Bitsie

It sounds to me mate that you have a serious bowel problem you should probably try sort out! why cant you just go to the toilet as soon as you get the urge like normal people instead of waiting so long you **** yourself???
Anyway, i certainly wouldnt let that make me quit my job, bit of an extreme to go to!

Canis Lupus

Go see a doctor ffs cos if you're ****ting yourself you have a fetish or a problem. I'm not sure which.

*cough*troll.

dudara

Exactly, why do you try to contain the issue and end up as a result in such extreme situations?

Beruthiel

dudara wrote:

Exactly, why do you try to contain the issue and end up as a result in such extreme situations?

exactly